Misguided Ghosts
by MaxximumRide666
Summary: After their loss at Regionals, and all the pain and drama of the last year, Rachel Berry realised she needed to make some changes but until she notices a difference in Santana on their return from summer break, she has no idea where to start. First though, she needs to figure out exactly what is going on with the Unholy Trinity. Unholy Trinity Poly. T/W: violence from chapter 5 on.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: It has been a bloody long time since I have published or even worked on any FF! My mental health has been kickin' my arse the last few years, and there's a lotta shit happening in my life that I'm not enjoying dealing with but needs must, I suppose. I'm very proud of myself for writing this, it's a story I've wanted to do for a very long time but I don't think I had the proper vocab or the knowledge to do so until recently. I really hope I do it justice and you guys like it or can at least respect it.**

**Essentially this story ignores pretty much all of Glee from the end of season one onwards, Santana never had sex with Finn and her and Brittany left the Cheerios by the end of season one. Think of it as an AU where I'm fixing some bullshit and writing my perspective on it all. **

**It's not particularly plot driven, more about the characters themselves, their relationships with each other and how those relationships/characters grow and change.**

**Inspired a little by the song 'Misguided Ghosts' by Paramore.**

**If you have the spoons or the time please feel free to let me know what you think =)**

**Much love, **

**Maxx**

**Disclaimer (been a long time, do I still need one of these?! Ahh well, I'll put it in anyway just in case!): I don't own anything, writing purely for the love of the show, the characters and cos I love to write!**

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**Warning: This story has not gone the way I initially saw it going so for those just finding it these are the themes/subjects/potential triggers that will come up: violence, assault - physical and minor sexual, depictions of mental health issues, mentions/discussions of suicide, medical talk, blood, vomit, injuries/wounds, neglect/abuse from parental figures, homophobia, bullying, polyamory, scenes of s*x, brief mentions of r*pe, mentions of pregnancy... I will add more as I go. And there will be content warnings at the start of chapters - but for anyone who needs to skip a chapter or needs specifics of where each thing is in a chapter, PM me and I will happily give you cliff-notes of a chapter or direct you around the triggers.**

**And please don't hesitate to let me know if I've missed any content warnings out anywhere! I want everyone to be as safe as possible.**

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**Chapter One**

As the bell rang, Santana, pinkie linked with Brittany, strode down the hallway towards the choir room. Her steps getting quicker and her heart growing lighter the closer they got. Brittany was bouncing with excitement beside her, chattering about a dance number her and Mike Chang had been working on the last few rehearsals.

The girls were happy to be free of their Cheerios uniforms, having told Coach Sylvester where to stick it just before Regionals last year. They had spent an entire year with that woman in charge of their lives, learning to hate everyone around them and only value themselves on their looks and ability to do a round-off. It was a toxic environment. No wonder Santana had been so angry and confused all the time.

Although she did have to admit that Coach Sylvester had done a little to redeem herself, what with blackmailing Principal Figgins into giving the Glee Club another year. Even if her motives for doing so were a little… murky. But still one nice thing did not excuse all the woman had done to Quinn and to Brittany and to Santana herself, never mind the entire Glee Club!

A thought that stayed with Santana and had spurred on her desire to spend her summer finally figuring her own shit out. Santana's eyes landed on Brittany and she could not help the smile that lit her face – her heart full as the girl tugged her the last few feet into the choir room and linked their fingers together properly once inside.

They were the first ones there as usual. Santana just managed to get the door shut behind them before Brittany had her pressed to the wall and their lips crushed together. Santana's eyes slid closed; she wrapped her arms tight around the blonde's neck and opened her mouth hungrily to the other girl. Brittany giggled as Santana spun them, their mouths never parting; the brunette's hands slipping under Brittany's t-shirt to splay on her back keeping them as close as possible. They both knew they only had a few precious moments alone before the rest of Glee Club appeared, and this was when Santana was at her most relaxed so full advantage must be taken!

Brittany nipped at Santana's lower lip, eliciting one of the brunette's tiny whimpers that Brittany loved so much. A smile on her lips, the blonde pulled away to lean back against the wall, Santana still pressed against her, secure in her arms.

Santana frowned. "Britt?" She blinked the lust away after a few seconds to take in her girlfriend.

Brittany smiled her beaming smile that took Santana's breath away each and every time, and pulled the brunette back to her for the sweetest of kisses. Before Santana could deepen it, the choir room door opened.

"O-Oh!"

Santana sighed and broke the kiss. "Ever heard of knocking, Rachel?"

Rachel Berry, clad in her usual skirt and animal-print sweater, stood in the doorway, face reddening, eyes flickering back and forth between the two girls still locked in each other's arms to, well, pretty much anywhere else. "I-I mean, this is the choir room, not your bedroom so really I shouldn't have to knock. Plus I didn't see that anyone else was in here so…"

Santana stared at Rachel evenly, an eyebrow raised. Brittany giggled into Santana's shoulder, pressed a kiss to her jaw and tugged her over to the chairs by the hand, giving Rachel a reprieve.

The choir room filled steadily with Glee kids, all chattering and calling greetings to each other as they arrived. Quinn took the chair next to where Brittany sat happily on Santana's lap, arms around her neck.

Quinn took one look at Rachel's still red face and smirked. "She forget to knock again?"

Santana rolled her eyes. "Every fucking time!"

"You'd think she'd have learnt by now, one of these days you guys are going to scar her for life!" Quinn nudged the Latina with her elbow.

Santana smirked and lent over without hesitating to press a kiss to Quinn's cheek, Brittany followed suit.

"I think Rach quite likes us," Brittany shrugged, absentmindedly playing with Santana's fingers.

Quinn frowned and cocked an eyebrow at the tall blonde.

Brittany nodded earnestly. "She likes to watch us, especially in Glee."

"Since when?" Santana's eyes landed on the diva sat in the very centre of the front row, engrossed in a book of sheet music.

"Since we came back after summer break and she caught us kissing in here that first Glee Club back."

Quinn snorted and sat back in her chair, arms crossed.

"I don't mind her watching though, we're hot," Brittany grinned at Santana as the brunette pulled her to her for a kiss.

"Yeah, we are, Britt."

Out of the corner of her eye, Quinn saw Rachel Berry's book slide out of her hand and, as she bent to retrieve it, she watched her steal a long glance back at them. The diva's eyes passed over Quinn and landed straight on Santana and Brittany beside her, staring quite blatantly until Mr. Schuester's arrival made her jump and almost fall out of her chair.

Will Schuester clapped his hands twice and waited until the chatter had died down and all eyes were on him. "Now that we are back into the swing of things after summer break, it's time to focus on Sectionals again. They are fast approaching and we need to be prepared." The teacher looked about the room at the Glee kids and his heart swelled. "I know we suffered a hard defeat at Regionals. It knocked my confidence too, guys. But we are still here and we still have each other, so let's be grateful for that and give it our all."

The cheer that arose from the kids made him smile, they had all been so destroyed at the thought of Glee being over on top of their loss at Regionals, he hadn't been sure how they would even come back from it. Or if they could come back at all! But here they were. He couldn't have been prouder if they were his own flesh and blood.

"So, without further ado, let's get started! Mike, I believe you said you and Brittany had something to show us?" Will swept his arm wide as he stepped away to clear the floor for the two dancers.

Brittany pressed a kiss to Santana's cheek before hopping off her and joining Mike at the front. As the two of them excitedly explained what they had been working on to the rest of the Glee club, Quinn shifted closer to Santana, happily letting the brunette sling her arm around her shoulders so she could settle into her.

"Britt's right, you know," Quinn murmured so only Santana could hear.

"About… Berry?"

"Uh huh. I caught her staring too, just now."

Santana hmm'd softly, her eyes flickering to the tiny diva in the front row just in time to see Rachel look away. She chuckled.

"What?"

"Might have just caught her myself."

Quinn shook her head and linked her fingers with the hand Santana had round her shoulders. "Do you think something happened with her over summer?"

"How d'ya mean?"

"I don't know. She took losing Regionals harder than any of us and she barely said two words to anyone all summer long. Not even Finn. And I know he told her he loved her at Regionals, so…"

Santana hadn't taken her eyes off Rachel – the diva had seemed somewhat withdrawn since their return. She was even more intense and focused, she didn't seem interested in Finn even the slightest and avoided everyone except to discuss Glee assignments and share singing tips. Quinn nudged her out of her thoughts.

"You okay?"

Santana nodded, exchanging a smile with the blonde and pressing a kiss to her temple. "Just thinking, Q."

Quinn took in her friend for a long moment. "You're worried about her too."

"It's Rachel Berry," Santana shook her head. "Give her a week and she'll be annoying the fuck out of us all with her motor mouth once more."

Quinn nodded slowly, not taking her eyes from Santana's face. "Uh huh… and if not?"

Santana met Quinn's eyes for a split second, before her gaze landed back on Rachel. "Then I'll maybe consider starting to worry, okay?"

Quinn smirked. She stretched a little until she could press her lips to Santana's, mumbling into the girl's mouth, "Whatever you say."

* * *

Glee Club was over for the day and most of the kids had already filed out of the choir room to head home, but a few hung back. Brittany had wanted to practice with Mike some more so Quinn and Santana had remained too, since Santana had driven the three of them that morning and was their ride home.

Rachel had situated herself at the piano. She had sheet music in front of her and was going through some vocal and piano exercises by herself – her voice as strong and sure as ever. Well, so it should be! She had spent the latter half of the summer at a musical summer camp that her fathers had been more than happy to pay for. The first half of her summer had pretty much been spent alone in her room and the men had grown concerned about her.

Rachel had always known who she was and exactly what she wanted. And she was not afraid to go after it. But their loss at Regionals? Everything with Jessie St. James? With the sudden appearance of her mother? All the drama and hurt she had inadvertently played a part in last year? It had all made her take a look at herself and all of a sudden, that girl she saw in the mirror every day as she did her vocal warm-ups? Well… she didn't recognise her anymore.

In her fight to be a star she had ended up trying to dim so many other peoples' lights. In a fight to get the boy she thought she loved she had ended up causing so much hurt for so many other people. Last year, she had been ruthless and unapologetic in her desire to become a star and to get what she wanted. Yet still they had not even placed at Regionals. What else was she supposed to take from that experience but to re-evaluate who she was, who she wanted to be and what she was willing to do to get there.

She had spent all summer trying to answer those questions. She had spent all summer taking a long hard look at herself in the mirror… all she really knew for sure was that she still wanted to be a star, she still wanted to be on Broadway and sing in front of hundreds of people every single night, still needed that applause! It was everything else, however, that she was no longer sure about.

Rachel glanced over at the others in the choir room. She watched Brittany and Mike dancing, looking focused and intense, but with smiles and excitement radiating from them as they moved in perfect sync. She took in Quinn and Santana sat at the back of the room together, the blonde content with the brunette girl's arm around her as they talked softly and shared smiles and an intimacy Rachel had never had with a friend, never mind anyone else…

Her eyes stopped on Santana for the longest time. There was something different about the girl this year. She was somehow softer and more confident all at the same time and Rachel just could not work it out for the life of her. It seemed to her that Santana had figured something out, some big secret that no one else knew, and it gave her a kind of power. Their first Glee Club back she had walked in on the two ex-Cheerios making out in the choir room, Brittany straddling Santana, the pair so completely caught up in each other that they hadn't even heard her come in. Even when she had finally made her presence known Santana had only rolled her eyes and Brittany had giggled and offered to let her join them.

Rachel had known the offer was not genuine, Brittany still had not managed to tick Rachel off her entire-school-make-out list yet. And when she had met the Latina's eyes, she had seen the smirking challenge there; not wanting to give the girl the satisfaction of knowing she had unhinged Rachel even a little, the diva had hmph'd indignantly and ignored them both completely for the rest of Glee.

Since then though, she had seemed to be running into them everywhere. At first she was certain it was just a coincidence and she had been embarrassed. But now? Now it seemed a little fated and she was intrigued. Not just about the sudden openness surrounding their relationship, but also the new side of Santana the Glee Club was privy to. The girl was more relaxed, kinder even. She was still snarky, badass Santana who could cut anyone down with just a few words… she just laughed so much more now and flirted with almost every girl in Glee quite openly.

Rachel scowled and shook the thought from her head, along with the strange aching that seemed to accompany it. She had better things to focus on than the fact that Santana had just pulled Quinn onto her lap and wrapped her up in her arms as the girls laughed together. And she definitely had better things to focus on than Brittany galloping across the choir room to engulf the now kissing girls in a massive hug, her infectious laughter even drawing a grin from Mike as he packed up to leave.

They were a distraction. And staring at them was not going to help her improve her vocal range any more than it would help her figure out how to be the person she needed to be to make her dreams happen! So she focused on the sheet music in front of her and continued her exercises with a renewed vigour.

Rachel was interrupted a few minutes later by a tap on her shoulder. "What?" She whirled, snapping at whomever dared to disturb her.

A wide-eyed Brittany stood there, smile slipping slowly from her face. The blonde looked over at Santana and Quinn stood by the choir room door. Rachel immediately stood, apologies flying from her mouth.

"I am so sorry, Brittany! I was focused and I didn't hear you come over. I-I never meant to shout!"

Brittany's smile reappeared. "That's okay, Rach, I shouldn't have snuck up on you. San says I should be a cat burglar 'cuz she never hears me coming either."

Rachel's eyes flickered to the brunette watching them carefully by the door before she focused in on what the blonde dancer was saying.

"…then I fell off the roof and San had to catch me, I mean, it was only once but Quinn said it probably wasn't a good career for me, and Quinn's always right so I'm going to keep looking."

"Umm… I'm sorry, Brittany, what exactly was it that you wanted?"

Brittany frowned in thought, a smile lighting her face not a moment later. "Oh, do you want to come to Breadstix with us?"

Rachel's eyebrows shot up and her eyes immediately went to the two girls stood behind Brittany - Quinn could barely mask her smirk and Santana only raised an eyebrow questioningly. The diva found her heart was suddenly beating rather fast and words seemed to escape her. She managed to focus in on Brittany, who had started talking at her again.

"…it looks like worms, right? But San says it's not made from them so it's okay to eat. Quinn usually has pizza, or something with bacon on, it's her favourite. I'll eat anything with lots of melted cheese-"

"Uh Brittany?" Rachel waved her hand in front of the girl to get her attention.

"Sorry, Rach, forgot you were here for a second! What's up?"

"Um… thank you for the offer. It's very thoughtful of you, but I can't tonight. I have to… work on my harmonies," Rachel just about managed to stop herself from glancing at Santana again. "Sorry." She turned to the piano and sat back down.

"Sure thing, Rach. See you later!" Brittany skipped over to Santana, eagerly taking her hand as they headed out.

Rachel listened to their footsteps retreat before shaking herself out of it and going back to a very tricky run she had been working on all summer.

"Hey."

Rachel whipped round to find Santana leaning against the doorframe, staring right at her. "S-Santana?"

"It's an open invitation, okay? We go every Friday after Glee."

Rachel frowned.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Breadstix?"

"O-Oh! Oh, okay, well… thank you. That's…" Rachel trailed off, averting her eyes. She cleared her throat nervously.

Santana didn't move. She just stared at the diva who refused to look at her. She sighed. "I guess I'll leave you to it. But, Rachel?"

Rachel met her eyes now.

"If you're going to lie, at least make it convincing."

Rachel's face burned as she stared at the piano until the door shut and the other girl was gone.

* * *

"We staying at yours or Britt's tonight?" Quinn asked through a mouthful of pizza.

Santana smirked, leaning forward to swipe some sauce off of the blonde's face with a finger. She licked her finger clean with a wink at Quinn. "Well… Dad's working a double at the hospital and Mom's out of town so we got the place to ourselves. That okay with you, Britt-Britt?"

Brittany nodded enthusiastically. She finished tying her spaghetti strands together into one long rope and finally started eating it. Santana watched her girlfriend with a smile before pressing a kiss to her cheek, the hand that rested on the blonde's knee gave an affectionate squeeze, before Quinn commanded her attention again.

"So what happened with Rachel?" Quinn watched the brunette carefully.

Santana shrugged, skewering a meatball with her fork.

"Come on, you didn't go back for nothing, S."

"Well we didn't fuck on the piano if that's what you're asking!"

Brittany giggled beside her, making Santana smile.

"Dumbass," Quinn flicked a stray bacon bit at the girl opposite her.

"If you must know, Q, I told her Britt's invite was open ended and that she's welcome to join us any time. Oh and that she kinda sucks at lying."

Quinn brandished a finger at Santana. "Ha! I knew you were worried about her too. You're a fucking softie, Santana Lopez, don't try and deny it!"

"How fucking dare you. Take that shit back right this second, or-"

"Or what, S?" Quinn quirked an eyebrow at her. "What are you going to do? You talk a big game but you love me so you won't do a damn thing."

Santana's face softened as she held Quinn's gaze. "I do love you, Q."

The cockiness vanished from the blonde's expression and was replaced with a blush and a shy smile. "Oh yeah?"

Santana gave a nod, her hand edging across the table until she could slide her fingers in between Quinn's. "Yeah."

Quinn could only smile as Santana brought the blonde's hand to her mouth for a kiss. "I love you too, dumbass."

Santana let out a quiet laugh and pressed a kiss to each of Quinn's knuckles before finally sitting back again, their fingers still linked.

"You know that, right?"

The Latina's brow furrowed at the tinge of uncertainty and desperation in the blonde girl's voice. "Of course I do, Q. Why-"

Quinn shook her head, averting her eyes to her half eaten pizza. "Because I… because we haven't…"

Santana leant across the table again, stilling the blonde's hands as they picked at a napkin. "Quinn… Q, look at me, please."

Quinn met the brunette's intense, serious gaze. "Santana-"

"You are incredible, Quinn. You are so fucking badass and so fucking beautiful some days it's all I can do not to kiss you every time you look at me. And I have known I loved you since the moment the three of us met, since Kindergarten when you called Puck a buttface for kicking Britt's sandcastle over."

Quinn couldn't help mirror Santana's smile.

"So I don't mind that you want to take it slow. I don't mind that we haven't had sex. I don't mind that you keep everyone at a distance because you don't trust people not to hurt you again. I know how badly last year fucked you up, Q. But all I care about is you. And I will do whatever you need me to do to support you – both as friends and as whatever else you want. Okay?"

Quinn dashed the tears from her eyes and leant across the table until she could press a kiss to the corner of Santana's mouth. Santana held her close, their foreheads pressed together, for a long moment. When they pulled back, Brittany slipped out from beside Santana and joined Quinn so she could hug the other blonde tight and press a kiss to her cheek.

"I think you're really hot too, Quinn and I love that I can fit both you and Santana perfectly in my arms. It makes me happy." Brittany nodded with such seriousness that the other two could not help but laugh.

"We love you too, Britt," Quinn squeezed the dancer's hand tight, Santana nodding her agreement.

Santana watched, her heart aching with happiness, as the two people she loved most in the world sat arm in arm, chatting happily as they ate. She had watched Quinn get hurt over and over and over again last year and it had killed her not knowing how to fix it. She had tried to be there for the girl as much as she possibly could but Quinn had pushed everybody away so all she could do was be there when she did reach out.

The summer just gone had been one of the best of Santana's life, but it had also been one of the hardest. Not only had she needed to work on herself, there had been things to work out with Brittany as well as finding the wreckage that had once been Quinn Fabray on her doorstep late one night. Quinn had asked if she could stay with her for a little while, she could not stand the constant re-appearance of her father and the arguments between him and her mom that were an everyday occurrence.

For the first few days Quinn was over they had barely spoken. Santana had kept her distance, knowing the blonde well enough that she knew Quinn needed to make the first move. Control was important to the girl – she'd never had much of it before except being head Cheerio at school, so when even that was taken from her… For almost a year she had had no control over anything, not even her own body. So Santana would be damned if she was going to push and risk hurting the blonde further.

It had been on their third night together that Quinn had rolled over in bed and asked, so quietly that Santana had almost not heard her, if she would hold her for a while until she could fall asleep. Santana hadn't even hesitated; opening her arms to the blonde and wrapping her up tight until there was no longer any space between them. Quinn had cried herself to sleep that night but at least she had finally slept through the night.

Quinn had awoken the next morning to the sound of someone singing softly. She was still in Santana's arms and the soft vibrations of the girl's voice chased away the sudden panicky feeling of being trapped she got whenever she was this close to someone. Santana had sensed the blonde's sudden tension and had moved to let her go, not wanting to cross any lines – Quinn had only held onto her tighter, burying her face in the crook of the brunette's neck. That's how they had fallen asleep together ever since. More often than not with Brittany pressed to Santana's back, her long arms encircling the two girls keeping them both safe.

It had taken a few weeks but the first night Quinn had fallen asleep with a smile instead of tears, Santana knew she was exactly where she was supposed to be, doing exactly what she was supposed to be doing. And all those doubts that had been eating away at her for years – doubts about her sexuality, about if she even could, or should, be in a relationship, doubts about who she was and if that person was worthy of love – suddenly didn't seem so important nor did they have as loud a voice in her head as they used to. Because if these two incredible, brilliant, loving girls trusted her and loved her that much when she was just being herself? Maybe, just maybe, she was enough.

* * *

"San?" Brittany's quiet voice broke the silence of the night.

Santana shifted a little, careful not to disturb the sleeping girl in her arms, until she could see the taller blonde. "Yeah, Britt?"

"I really like Rachel."

"I know you do."

There was silence for a moment. Santana waited patiently for her girlfriend to continue.

"She was bossy and kinda mean last year, but so were we. I think she's sad now and I want to help make it better," Brittany rested her chin on Santana's shoulder. "You're awesome at knowing what to do to help me and Quinn, maybe you can figure out how to help Rachel too?"

Santana pressed a kiss to the girl's forehead. "I love how big your heart is, Britt."

"Is that a yes?"

Santana chuckled. "You know I can never say no to you."

"I know, but I don't want you to do it just because I asked you to," Brittany trailed her hand down the brunette's arm until she could link their fingers together. "I think Rachel really needs a friend, and I want it to be us. But…"

"But she's probably still a little wary of me," Santana finished for the girl.

Brittany shrugged, pressing a trail of kisses along the Latina's shoulder. "You can be scary when you want to be, and I know Rachel seems to have a way of getting under your skin a lot-"

"It is one of her many talents, yes."

"So!" The blonde pressed a finger to Santana's lips to shush her. "So I think it would be good if you made the first move."

Santana opened her mouth, but Brittany beat her to it.

"I know you already tried today! And I am so proud of you for that. But will you keep trying? Like you did with Quinn?"

Santana sighed. "I will think about it, okay, Britt?"

Brittany grinned and kissed her firmly on the lips before snuggling back down behind her again, arms pulling Santana, sleeping Quinn and all, tight into her chest. They both knew Santana was going to do exactly what Brittany had asked, not just because she really couldn't say no to her girlfriend, but also because Quinn had been right – she was genuinely worried about the tiny diva.

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**AN: I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I have been enjoying writing this story! Please be kind when you review, I'm still getting back into the swing of things and have no beta so there will be mistakes =S**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I have sorta decided my posting schedule now, I think. I'm gonna try and keep at least three chapters ahead of myself so if my mental health is particularly bad for a few weeks and I can't write then I'll still have something to share with you lovely people =) but I will post a new chapter once I'm half way through chapter six (as I'm currently halfway through chapter five now)!**

**I'm also currently house hunting, y'know, trying to avoid homelessness! So I'm stressed as fuck. This story is kinda my escape atm so it's nice to see so many people have read it. I always love hearing from people too, especially those folks in the fandom! So please let me know what you think, it will totally make my day =)  
**

**Much love, **

**Maxx**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not even the house I'm currently living in *sigh* **

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Chapter Two

Rachel Berry sat at the back of Mr. Schuester's Spanish class, her textbook and notebook both open, scribbling notes as the teacher gave his last lesson of the week before Friday's Glee Club. The clock on the wall informed her that there was still half of the lesson to get through but already Rachel's mind had begun to wander, and her eyes began to stray to the girl sitting three chairs to her right.

Rachel watched Santana with an intense gaze, as if she were trying to read the thoughts in the girl's head. Very quickly her eyes shifted, drifting down the ex-Cheerio. She took in the look of concentration on her face as the girl took meticulous notes – a fact that had always confused Rachel as she knew Santana spoke fluent Spanish so why would she even bother listening in class? She took in the girl's dark eyes that seemed to pierce Rachel whenever she looked into them. She took in the girl's clothes – a black form-fitting t-shirt with scrawling red writing on the front, tight blue jeans and black doc martin boots – admiring them even, as they were much more Santana, Rachel thought, than the Cheerios uniform she had worn all last year.

Each time Rachel tried to go back to focusing on her note taking, she could not stop her eyes from sliding back across to Santana. Nor could she stop this overwhelming need to have the girl turn and look at her right that moment… She needed to understand the girl, needed to know what had happened to her to have brought about this new side… Could it be the same thing that had happened to Rachel?

Rachel shook the thought from her head, deeming it unhelpful and implausible, and returned to her work. When the bell rang to signal the end of Spanish and the start of Glee for her and the rest of the Glee kids, Rachel packed her books away in her bag and watched Santana out of the corner of her eye.

"Britt? Come on, it's time for Glee," Santana shook the sleeping blonde beside her awake.

"Spanish makes me sleepy, San." Brittany yawned, stretching her arms above her head. "It's only sexy when you use it."

Santana laughed and held out her pinkie for the blonde to hook hers onto. "If you want I'll give you a private lesson when we get home?"

A huge smile lit Brittany's face and she nodded eagerly, bouncing happily as Santana led them out of the Spanish classroom and to the choir room.

Rachel found herself rather warm all of a sudden. The image of Santana giving Brittany that 'private lesson' burned itself into her mind and was making her blush furiously. She slung her bag on her back and strode out of the room, fighting through the crush in the hallways to get to the choir room.

She reached it just in time to see Brittany drag Santana in by the hand and slam the door shut behind them. Rachel could just about see them through the door: the girls, with their arms wrapped around each other, stumbled towards the chairs as they kissed, eyes closed and smiles on their faces. It made Rachel ache and she couldn't quite figure out why.

Yes, she knew about queer relationships through her fathers and through the internet, she understood a fair bit about sexuality and gender, but she just did not know how it related to her yet. She had spent all last year watching the girls in their Cheerio uniforms – their short, short skirts and sleeveless, form-fitting tops, with their toned arms and miles of legs – yet still she was trying to sort out whether it was only that she was jealous she did not look like them and wished to, or if it was also the fact that she longed to kiss her way up those legs, be held tight in those arms, feel those bodies move against her, have those dark eyes look at her with lust…

Rachel's eyes widened at that last thought. Perhaps she already did know how it related to her… perhaps she just did not know how to deal with it all yet… She shook her head free of the clamouring thoughts and strode to the choir room door. She stopped, one hand on the handle, but instead of just walking straight in this time, she knocked. She waited a few seconds and walked in, eyes averted.

"Oh, hi, Rach!"

Rachel looked up as Brittany waved at her, smiling brightly from Santana's lap.

"Hello, Brittany," Her eyes flickered to the Latina. "Hello, Santana." Shutting the door behind her, Rachel walked to take her usual chair centre stage in the front row. Without another word she set her bag down and started unpacking her sheet music.

A few minutes passed in silence. Rachel busily trying to make her un-co-operative brain take in the words she was reading instead of picturing herself on Santana's lap…

"Hey," Santana dropped into the seat to Rachel's left then, Brittany landing in the Latina's lap a second later. "What you working on?"

"Just feeling out some songs for Sectionals, I guess. We are going to need to be ready, like Mr. Schue said, we cannot afford to slack off this year, not if we want to make it to Nationals in New York!" Rachel nodded firmly, flicking through the book with practiced ease, until she landed on the page she was looking for. "I was listening to some potential songs on my playlists the other day and I thought that this one would be perfect for-for you."

Santana held the girl's suddenly shy gaze for a long moment before taking the offered music book. Rachel had picked out Valerie by Amy Winehouse. Santana couldn't help the smile that curled her lips as she shared a look with Brittany. The blonde in her lap hugged her excitedly.

"San sings that in the car all the time! It's perfect for her! Oh, my God… are you psychic?" Brittany peered at the diva, open mouthed.

Rachel shook her head with a smile. "I am quite certain I do not have any psychic abilities, Brittany. Believe me, I've tried…" The last words were mumbled but Santana's chuckle informed her that she'd heard it anyway.

"Britt's right. It would be perfect. But… don't you wanna sing it?" Santana handed the book back.

"It's uh- It's not really in my wheelhouse. Your voice is a lot smokier than mine, I think you're the only one who could do Miss. Winehouse justice."

Santana watched the smaller girl carefully. This wasn't the Rachel Berry she was used to – where was the cut-throat, solo-driven, loud-mouthed brat from last year? Not that she minded the change all that much; it was much easier now to resist punching the girl every time she opened her mouth. Even so, Santana was more concerned than ever that something was wrong with the diva.

"We're going to Breadstix again after Glee tonight. Britt's probably gonna do her awesome trick of eating all her pasta in one long string, and Quinn always ends up wearing her pizza one way or another," Santana sat back in her chair, one arm around Brittany, the other draped across the back of Rachel's own chair. "It's chill. There's good food and interesting company, y'know, if you're into that." She met Rachel's eyes and smiled gently, desperate not to spook the girl. "But no pressure, okay?"

Rachel felt her face getting hot so dragged her gaze away from Santana's and busied herself organising her bag, in a futile attempt at looking nonchalant. "I will have to check my schedule and get back to you."

Santana sighed quietly to herself. She knew an excuse when she heard one. "Sure thing, Rachel."

The rest of the Glee kids started arriving then, thankfully distracting Santana and giving Rachel a moment to regain her composure. Finn plonked himself down to the right of Rachel, puppy dog eyes already in full effect and aimed right at the diva. Quinn and Sam arrived together, the boy talking her ear off, not realising the tight smile fixed on the girl's face was one of forced politeness not of enjoyment or enthusiasm.

When she spotted Santana and Brittany, Quinn quickly said goodbye to Sam and slid into the space between the girls and Kurt. She buried her face into Brittany's back, who swivelled and engulfed the girl in a hug.

Santana smirked. "I think someone has a crush on you, Q."

Quinn shot her a dirty look. "Don't. I am not in the mood. I had to listen to him all through Social Studies, he would not leave me alone." She massaged her forehead and drew in a deep breath, letting it out a good ten seconds later in a whoosh. "My head is fucking killing me."

"You're far too polite for your own good, Q," Santana brushed the blonde's cheek with her finger tips to get the girl to look at her. "Can I help?"

Quinn hesitated but nodded anyway.

"Swap with Q, Britt?"

Brittany did as asked, pressing a very soft kiss to Quinn's forehead not wanting to make her headache worse.

Rachel, her interest piqued, watched from beside them as Quinn sat in Santana's lap and leant completely into the brunette as Santana started gently massaging the blonde's temples with her fingers.

"Tell me where it hurts?" Santana's voice was barely a whisper.

"Here," Quinn moved the Latina's fingertips just a little to where she needed them and sighed as Santana set to work again.

"Better?"

"Mmhm," Quinn's eyes closed and she seemed to visibly relax before Rachel's eyes.

She felt like she was seeing something she was not supposed to and it gave her a little thrill. It also made her ache at how soft Santana was, how vulnerable Quinn was and how sweet Brittany had been. She finally managed to rip her eyes away from the intimate scene next to her and went searching in her bag.

"Umm…"

A voice beside her made Quinn stir and open her eyes. Rachel Berry was sat there, looking sheepish and a little red in the face. She held out a small white pill bottle and some water to her.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help overhearing…" Rachel swallowed hard and pushed herself on. "I always carry some with me, just in case."

Quinn took in the girl for a moment, eying the pill bottle up carefully until she had decided on a course of action. She smiled a small smile at Rachel and took the offering, something that Rachel seemed thoroughly surprised about. The girl awkwardly watched Quinn open the bottle, swallow two aspirin with a mouthful of water and pass them back.

"Thank you."

Rachel blushed further before turning away and fussing over her bag again.

Quinn felt Santana's quiet laughter more than heard it. She nudged the brunette with an elbow before settling back into her as Santana went back to massaging her forehead with expert fingers.

Santana caught Rachel's eye and nodded her own thanks at the girl, which earned her a beaming smile in return.

By the time Mr. Schuester finally turned up, ushering in Lauren and Puck and shutting the door behind them, Quinn was feeling a little better and had swapped back with Brittany. Even so, Santana kept her arm around her shoulders as Sam had decided to sit directly behind the blonde. Now that Quinn had voiced that she was not interested in the boy, Santana endeavoured to ensure he knew she was unavailable and thus might leave her alone.

"Sorry I'm late, guys, I was getting the transport organised for Sectionals. Which is only two weeks away!" Will rubbed his hands together enthusiastically. "So… who's got ideas for me? Come on, don't be shy!"

"How about something from Broadway?" Kurt called out from beside Quinn.

"I'm feelin' the classic rock, Mr. Schue," Puck piped up, earning a nod from Lauren sat next to him.

"How about Bieber? I mean, I've been told I kinda look like him so-"

"I think we really need to work on our dancing, I have the perfect routine-"

"Why not try for a wheelchair number again? Seeing as how we didn't get to actually perform our last one-"

"We need something with some soul, Mr. Schue-"

"I think Rachel and I should do a duet!" Finn grinned hopefully at the diva beside him.

Rachel did not respond but Santana was sure she saw her stiffen and curl her lip.

"Why don't we let someone else have a duet this time?" Santana spoke up. "We have a fuckton of awesome voices in here who would be fucking badass together."

Finn scowled at her but Mr. Schuester beat him to the punch.

"That is a very nice idea, Santana, although it would have been nicer without the cursing!" Will raised his eyebrows at her pointedly, Santana only shrugged. "So how about it? Everyone do some mixing and matching this next week and we will see who sounds best together and use their song idea at Sectionals?"

The murmur of agreement from the room seemed to satisfy Will. He turned to pull out some sheet music from his bag and held it up to the kids.

"That means we have one more number to decide on. I brought some samples of songs I thought would be well within our wheelhouse so you guys can tell me what you think," He spread them out on the piano and gestured for everyone to come over.

Most of the club popped to their feet and shot over, only Santana and Rachel remained seated.

"Not going to look?" Santana nudged Rachel with her elbow.

"I don't need to. No offense to Mr. Schue, but his selection is not nearly as extensive as my own," The diva pulled another stack of music books from her bag making Santana chuckle.

"Fair play."

"Hey Rach!" Finn waved at her over the piano. "There's some songs here I think you'd be great for! I'll grab a couple for you."

Rachel smiled weakly and gave the boy a half-hearted wave in return. Santana frowned.

"You not a fan of his anymore? I thought after everything last year you'd be-"

"No." Rachel shook her head firmly, interrupting Santana. "We're not… anything. Last year was a mistake…"

Santana waited for Rachel to go on but she remained silent.

"Rachel?"

"I don't really want to talk about it, if that's okay?" Rachel couldn't bring herself to meet the other girl's questioning gaze.

"Sure thing."

The softness in Santana's voice made Rachel's heart ache even more and she longed to look into the girl's eyes where she knew it was mirrored. But by the time she got up the nerve to do just that, Santana was stood with her arm round Quinn's waist at the piano.

* * *

"It's Breadstix time!" Brittany shot up from her chair the moment the final bell rung.

"That was right in my ear, Britt!" Quinn rubbed a hand over her forehead with a scowl.

Brittany had not heard her however and continued spinning about the choir room as everyone packed up. She darted back and forth, dragging some of the kids into impromptu dance routines as they tried to escape. Santana only laughed and shook her head. She reached over to chuck a still scowling Quinn under the chin. Quinn pursed her lips and batted her away.

"You know what she's like, Q. But I am sorry that you're still feeling shit. Why don't we get our Breadstix to go tonight?" Santana dipped her head to meet Quinn's eyes. "We can curl up at Britt's and chill, maybe watch a movie? I'll even let you pick this time!"

Quinn rolled her eyes and gave a nod, reaching out to squeeze Santana's hand. "Deal. But no bitching through the entire film again!"

"I would never!"

"Uh huh. You haven't heard what I'm choosing yet," Quinn shot the brunette a mischievous smile, blowing her a kiss as she scooped up her bag, caught Brittany as she spun past her and dragged her out of the choir room by the hand. "We'll wait in the parking lot for you."

Santana watched them go, a huge grin on her face as her heart swelled. She turned to Rachel only to find the girl staring at her with a strange look on her face. The diva blushed and looked away.

"You okay, Rachel?"

"Of course."

Santana nodded slowly as she watched the girl meticulously pack her sheet music away and zip her bag up before slipping it onto her shoulder. As Rachel moved to leave, Santana grabbed her and Britt's bags and fell into step beside her.

"So did you check if you were free this evening?"

Rachel stared at her as they reached the door. "I-I thought you weren't going tonight, I mean, I overheard about… Quinn…" She trailed off when Santana raised an eyebrow at her. "My apologies, I didn't mean to listen in. It's just…"

Santana cocked her head. "Just what?"

Rachel shook her head, a slight frown on her face as she seemed to be examining Santana, searching for something...

Before either of them could say another word the other door to the choir room burst open and Finn appeared in the doorway. His eyes landed on Rachel and his face lit up.

"There you are, Rach, I was waiting for you in the hallway. I figured we could talk duets while I walk you to your car?" He asked hopefully.

Santana couldn't help her smirk as Rachel barely managed to contain her annoyance. The diva glanced at her, almost pleadingly, spurring the Latina into action. She slung an arm around Rachel's shoulders as nonchalantly as she could; despite the girl stiffening under her she pushed on.

"Sorry, Hudson, I called first dibs. Rachel already promised me, Britt and Q a duet each so she's fully booked."

Finn frowned, his eyes darting between the pair by the other door. "That true, Rach?"

Santana held her breath as she waited for the diva's answer.

"It is indeed, Finn. I am going to be very busy next week!" Rachel gave the boy an apologetic smile before turning to address Santana. "Would you mind walking me to my car so we can start brainstorming? We don't have much time before Sectionals!"

Santana took her arm back and moved to open the door. "Lead on!"

Rachel beamed at her and barely even glanced at the tall boy watching them. "Goodbye, Finn."

The diva strode down the hallway, Santana at her side, neither saying a word until they were out of the school and in the parking lot. They wound their way through the last couple of cars until Rachel came to her own – Quinn and Brittany stood the other side of the parking lot by Santana's own car. The two brunette's stood in an awkward silence.

"I- Uh- I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable before. I didn't mean to but it won't happen again, I promise," Santana shuffled her feet, kicking the gravel about as she waited for Rachel to say… something, anything!

"You have nothing to apologise for, Santana. You got me out of an incredibly awkward situation with Finn that most likely would have resulted in him and I doing a duet, which is the last thing I want to do right now! So I am very grateful," Rachel gave the Latina one of her winning smiles.

Santana blinked dopily at the girl for a few seconds. The smile had caught her off guard. She hadn't seen it since before Regionals last year and she had been starting to think she never would see it again!

"Santana? Are you okay?" Rachel peered at her with concern.

"Yeah… I'm good, I just… I hadn't realised how much I've missed your smile…"

Rachel blushed. "That is very kind of you to say, Santana."

"Look, I gotta go," the ex-Cheerio glanced over her shoulder at the two blondes waiting for her. "Are you sure you don't wanna hit Breadstix with us? I know Britt wouldn't mind you coming back to hers, she really likes you."

"That is very kind of you, Santana, but I think Quinn needs you more than I do tonight," Rachel unlocked her car and placed her bag carefully on the back seat. She turned back to the Latina, realisation of what she had said hitting her. "Not-Not that I need you! That was just a-a saying… I should go." She scurried around to the driver's side and got in, almost trapping her foot in the door in her hurry.

A second later her car revved to life, her seatbelt was on and Rachel Berry was away out of the parking lot without another word or glance at the bemused girl stood watching her go.

* * *

"How was school today, Rach?" LeRoy watched his daughter carefully from across the dinner table.

"Fine, thank you, daddy." Rachel did not look up from her plate as she pushed her food about.

LeRoy sighed and shared a worried look with his husband next to him. This had been going on for months now. They had been hoping that it was just a sort of post-competition funk, and that once Rachel was back at school, back in Glee Club and working towards something again she would snap out of it… that had not happened and the men were at a loss how to fix it.

They had tried everything they could think of: sending her to a musical summer camp, getting her those extra vocal lessons she had wanted last year, spending more time with her doing family activities together, giving her space, being tough, being understanding, being more involved than ever in her life… still nothing seemed to be working!

For the first time ever, their daughter would not, or perhaps could not, tell them what was going on in her life. And it scared them. All they had ever wanted, from the moment they had laid eyes on her in the hospital, was to make her happy and feel loved and like she could do absolutely anything she ever dreamed of doing. Now… it was like a stranger was sat across from them and they just did not know how to get to know her again without stepping on any landmines.

"Sectionals is in two weeks, is that right? Mr. Schuester called earlier to ensure we had gotten the permission slip and to let us know that tickets are available." Hiram smiled hopefully from LeRoy to Rachel. When the girl didn't respond he pushed on. "Do you have your set list all picked out yet? I know there is a lot of talent in your club so I'm betting everyone is fighting you for the solo!"

"I don't think I'm going to do a solo this time."

"Wh-What?" LeRoy's mouth fell open. "How come?"

Rachel shrugged, laying her knife and fork carefully on her plate and folding her napkin back up. "Like dad said, we have a lot of really talented kids in Glee. They deserve a turn to shine too, don't they?" She finally met LeRoy's eyes.

"Well… yes, of course. But…" He looked to Hiram for help.

"I think what your father is trying to say is that… we're worried about you, Rach. You've-You've been acting so different lately and now, you're not even fighting for your solos?"

"They don't belong to me, dad, everyone deserves to enjoy them as much as I have." Rachel got to her feet, stacked their plates together and took them into the kitchen leaving the men very bewildered.

"Why did you bring that up?" LeRoy snapped at his husband.

"Well it was about time someone did! We need to know what's going on with her, how else are we going to figure out how to help?" Hiram squeezed LeRoy's hand and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Just trust me, love."

LeRoy gave a reluctant nod as Rachel reappeared.

"May I be excused? I have homework to get done." Without waiting for an answer, the diva turned on her heels and started towards the stairs.

"Rachel, wait!"

The girl froze before turning back to face her fathers and their worried expressions.

"Let us help you, Rach. Please."

"We just want to know what's going on with you so we can try and advise you correctly," LeRoy moved to rest his hands on his daughter's shoulders, gentle smile on his lips.

Rachel looked up into her father's eyes and felt her bottom lip quiver. Suddenly the image of Santana holding Quinn to her, massaging her temples with such care and love flashed before her eyes… "I don't… I don't think I'm a very good person, daddy."

LeRoy frowned but Rachel pushed on.

"I mean, I know I'm not a very nice person or particularly easy to get on with, but-but I'm trying to change that. I just… don't quite know how yet. Or even who I want to be now…" She trailed off, dashing a tear from her cheek.

"Oh, my beautiful girl!" LeRoy wrapped his strong arms around his daughter and held her close as she cried. He heard Hiram sniff loudly behind him and knew his husband would not be far behind with his own tears. "We love you no matter what, okay? You are perfect to us. But it's normal to not know who you are at your age, and it's normal to want to explore yourself too. So please don't ever think you have to hide anything from us. Your dad and I have been through all of that ourselves when we were teenagers." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "You should have seen the bell bottoms and cowboy hat ensemble he wore all through senior year, it was horrifying!"

Rachel laughed weakly into his chest making LeRoy smile.

"You are still so young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't be so hard on yourself all the time. But!" He pulled away a little to look Rachel in the tear-stained face. "If you want to do some work on yourself and take some time to figure out what you want then we will support you a hundred percent. Just so long you are doing this for you, because you want to, and not because anyone else says you should, okay?"

Rachel nodded and buried her face back in his chest.

"We love you for exactly who you are, even if you don't know who that is yet."

Hiram appeared, wrapping his own arms around Rachel from behind and hugging them both to him. "You just tell us what you need from us and we will endeavour to do everything we can on our end to make things a little easier." His voice cracked as a sob escaped him. "We just love you so much and we want you to be happy."

The Berry family stayed stood at the bottom of the stairs for a little while longer, not quite ready to part yet. For the first time in months Rachel felt a sliver of hope at her fathers' words. She had been struggling alone, thinking that was how it was supposed to be, but she had been wrong – something that was still very difficult for Rachel Berry to admit, even to herself. She was not alone and she did not need to go through this alone.

Her mind strayed to the three girls sat next to her in Glee today and suddenly a piece of the puzzle fell into place.

* * *

**AN: I adore the Berry men so I wanted them in the fic and I know it's quite early to have Rachel work her shit out but I promise you, it's far from worked out.**

**Keep on keeping on, guys! You're all awesome 3**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: It has been a hell of a day today. Finally heard that I will have a house to move into next month, so yay! Also I broke down on the motorway as I was going to see a friend, so I had to be towed back to my garage and no doubt it will cost me an arm and a leg to get my car fixed. Because when doesn't it?! So the universe is continuing its lifelong hobby of kicking me in the teeth whenever something good happens to me. At least it's ****consistent, I guess. **

**So I'm in a horrific mood today and have probably gotten sun burnt and sun stroke from standing on the side of the road in the midday sun for over an hour! Plus I'm covering in dust from packing, and have probably inhaled an entire cat's worth of cat hair. I wanna go get in bed and never leave but I have to adult. And if I don't do some more packing my anxiety is gonna eat me alive.**

**All of that aside, I am still thoroughly enjoying writing this story, I'm halfway through chapter six, hence me posting this one, and it's rather therapeutic to be honest. **

**Thank you so much to all the incredible and lovely people who have read and favourited and are following this story, and so much love is being sent to the people who have reviewed. You guys rock and they make me so happy!  
**

**Much love, **

**Maxx**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except the ford fiesta currently in the garage that's gonna bankrupt me to fix but I need the damn car so what'cha gonna do?**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Quinn pulled Santana into the choir room and shut the door behind them. It was almost the end of the day, the period before Glee Club, and the girls had ducked out of Home Ec. early, leaving Brittany to her cake decorating – they hadn't actually been making cakes in the class but Brittany had wanted to so that's what the three of them had done, baffling Rachel who had been partnered with the dancer.

Quinn leant against the door to the choir room, her eyes glued to the knowing smile on Santana's face. She both hated and loved that the girl knew her so well. Santana stepped closer until she had a hand planted either side of Quinn's shoulders. Neither girl moved.

"Tell me what you want, Q."

Quinn jutted her chin out at the challenge in Santana's voice. "What do you think?"

Santana grinned, brushing her lips along the blonde's cheek, stopping at the corner of her mouth before pulling away again. "You know I need to hear you say it, Q."

"You won't do it unless I ask?"

Santana shook her head, eyes locked to Quinn's own.

"Hmm…" Quinn couldn't help herself as she revelled in the power – she knew it was only the tiniest bit, just like she knew that Santana could take it away whenever she wanted… She also knew that Santana would never do that; she trusted the girl with her life. "I think…"

"Uh huh?" Santana had not moved, would not move until she had explicit consent from the blonde.

"…you should…" Quinn licked her lips, eyes flickering to Santana's mouth.

"Mm?"

"…kiss me." The last two words came out as a whisper but the smile that lit Santana's eyes told Quinn she had heard her.

A second later, Santana lent in and brushed her lips against Quinn's in the softest kiss. Quinn's eyes slid closed as Santana cupped her face and kissed her again and again just as gentle. Before the blonde could stop herself she had buried her fingers in the Latina's hair and crushed their lips together, not letting up until she felt a little faint. Only then did she pull back.

"Oh that kind of kiss. You really should be more specific next time, Q-"

"Shut up and fucking kiss me, Santana!"

Santana could not help the laugh that escaped her – it was cut short though by Quinn wrapping her arms round her neck and pulling them back together. Quinn couldn't help herself with the brunette; it was the way Santana looked at her with those dark eyes, the teasing, the smirks, and the softness too. She did not treat Quinn like she thought she might break, nor did she dismiss her or see her as nothing more than the blonde cheerleader stereotype she had spent so long perpetuating. Santana saw her and refused to look away even when her raw, angry, damaged core was exposed. Santana loved her and wanted her for her, and not what she could do for her as so many other people did.

At first she had not understood that. Why would anyone just want her and not her status or her body? Relationships had really only been an exchange of power and goods and services for Quinn. Then came Santana - a girl who only last year had been notorious at school for using people to get what she needed and then dumping them – telling her all she wanted was Quinn's love and trust again. Not that Quinn had ever stopped loving the girl, not really, she just could not trust anyone last year.

Her heart still ached from all the scars on it; from Puck, from Finn, from being kicked off the Cheerios, from going from HBIC to nobody in a matter of minutes, from her parents abandoning her when she needed them the most… from Beth… Some days it was all she could do to get out of bed. And she still couldn't bear to look at herself in the mirror for too long. But when she was with Brittany and Santana? When Santana was looking at her with those piercing eyes of her, kissing her, holding her at night, smiling at her… in those moments, she felt like things could be okay again. And maybe one day she could see herself as something more than just a jumble of mistakes, wrong turns and pain.

Quinn opened her mouth to Santana and felt herself ache between her legs when the girl deepened the kiss immediately. She felt safe in Santana's hands and knew the girl would not push when she said no… that's what made her ache even more. She had complete control and nothing would happen that she did not want to happen. Something Quinn had never experienced before, not just in a relationship but throughout her entire life. That last thought made her angry all of a sudden.

Santana felt Quinn tense and pulled away instantly. "Quinn?" Concern coloured her voice as she stepped back, scared she had gone too far.

"I told you to fucking kiss me, didn't I?" Quinn snapped, grabbing a handful of Santana's hoodie to pull her back to her.

Santana refused to move. "I will, as soon as you tell me what happened just then."

Quinn growled in frustration. Her anger quickly turning on herself when she realised she had ruined the moment between them. "I'm a fucking pathetic idiot, that's what's happened!"

"No. No, you are not, Quinn." Santana spoke softly with a shake of her head. "But why do you think that?"

"Why wouldn't I think that?" The blonde exploded, throwing her hands in the air, anger spilling from her. "My entire life is fucked up because of me! Because I trusted the wrong people, because I valued status and popularity over my actual friends and my future! Because this is the first time in ages I felt okay enough about myself to want to be like this with you and I just fucking ruined it." She shook her head in disgust, hands balled into fists at her sides.

"Hey!" Santana closed the gap between them in two steps and wrapped the girl up in her arms. "I promise you haven't ruined anything!"

Quinn grumbled wordlessly into Santana's shoulder making the brunette chuckle.

"And as for the other stuff? You said it yourself, you trusted the wrong people and that's not your fault. They let you down because they are shitty people, not you. And you are a fucking human being, Quinn, just like the rest of us. We make mistakes. How else are we supposed to learn, to grow and become better people?"

Quinn shrugged half-heartedly but did not respond further.

"I know how hard you are on yourself, Q. How much you take on and struggle with alone. But you don't have to – that's the beauty of having Britt and I. We love you and we wanna help however we can. I know we can't fix everything, and I know we don't have all the answers, or any of them really!" She felt Quinn laugh quietly against her. "You are not alone, Quinn. And you are valid. Okay?"

The blonde finally wrapped her arms around Santana's waist and nodded.

Santana smiled, letting out a shaky breath as she pressed a kiss to the girl's cheek. "Now, we have five minutes left until the bell. Do you wanna make out some more?"

Quinn hesitated but shook her head.

"Do you wanna go back to class?"

Another shake of the head.

"Do you wanna… stay here?"

Quinn nodded.

"Cool. Next question, would you like me to give you some space?"

"No!" Quinn held on tighter, grabbing handfuls of Santana's hoodie. "Please don't let go."

Santana sighed in relief, and buried her own face in Quinn's shoulder. "Good. Not gonna lie, kinda didn't wanna let go either."

Quinn smiled into the Latina's neck as she pressed a kiss to her skin. "But you would have if I'd asked you to."

It wasn't a question. They both knew the answer, both knew that Quinn held the power and Santana was more than happy with the arrangement.

"I'd do anything for you, Q."

* * *

When the bell finally rung and Brittany skipped into the choir room, Rachel right behind her, Quinn and Santana were still stood in each other's arms.

The moment Brittany spotted them she dropped everything she was holding and engulfed them both in her arms. Rachel skidded to a halt in the doorway and looked round to chastise the girl; her eyes landed on the three in the middle of the choir room and her annoyance vanished, replaced with an ache in her heart. The diva picked up Brittany's things and edged round the three to drop her armful on the chairs.

"Are you okay?" Concern coloured Rachel's voice.

The question seemed to break the spell and Quinn sighed, loosening her grip around Santana. She pulled away until she could lock eyes with the brunette. "Thank you." She pressed a kiss to both of Santana's cheeks and then a final soft kiss to her lips.

"Any time at all," Santana grinned at her and returned the kiss before nudging Brittany. "Time to let go, Britt."

"Aww! I just got here!" The tall blonde pouted.

The girls in her arms couldn't help but exchange a smile as they shifted and gave Brittany a hug all of her own. The pout instantly disappeared and Brittany released them once she was satisfied.

"I'll be right back," Quinn grabbed her bag and disappeared out of the choir room.

Santana let Brittany tug her onto her lap, happily kissing the girl until she felt the blonde sigh contentedly. Santana's eyes landed on the diva sat beside them then, concern still evident on her face.

"Quinn's tough, she'll be okay," Santana nudged the girl's leg with the toe of her boot. "But thank you for caring."

Rachel met the other brunette's eyes and saw the certainty and kindness there. She dipped her head in an attempt to hide the growing blush but Santana saw anyway.

"Hey, sorry we bailed on you in Home Ec., but thanks for putting up with our random and for helping Britt."

"Yeah, we had so much fun, didn't we, Rach?" Brittany reached across and gave the diva an awkward hug with Santana steadying herself on the blonde's lap. "We decorated the cake with ducks and stars, the stars were Rachel's idea. We didn't have gold so we used yellow and I made my ducks pink! Can we go get it after Glee? I wanna show Quinn."

"Sure we can, Britt. I'm sure Quinn will love it," Santana smiled at her girlfriend, pressing a kiss to her temple as she pulled Santana in for a hug. "You wanna take half home with you, Rach? You did do most of the work after all."

"Are-Are you sure?"

"You can eat it, right? We used the last of the vegan ingredients in the school, I think. Britt wanted to make sure you could have some too."

Brittany nodded earnestly at the diva. "It was fun decorating but the best part is always eating it! So will you come have some with us after Glee?"

Rachel stared open-mouthed back and forth between the girls, lost for words all of a sudden.

Brittany looked concerned and reached over to poke the diva. "Rach? Did your batteries die?"

"N-No, I'm just… No one has ever done something so thoughtful for me before. No one that wasn't my dads anyway," Rachel felt the tears prick at her eyes.

Santana shrugged, watching the diva carefully to see if they had over stepped yet or not. "You don't have to. We can wrap you some up, and some for your dads too, to just take home with you. I don't wanna make you uncomfortable or anythi-"

"You could never make me uncomfortable."

Santana froze, mid-sentence. Rachel was looking at her with such sincerity, her body turned completely towards Santana, her tone as serious as it had ever been. They stayed frozen, eyes locked, searching, for what seemed an age. The Glee kids had started to trickle in around them, oblivious to the uncertain tension between the two girls. When Finn dropped down to sit on the other side of Rachel, Santana caught the movement out of the corner of her eye and broke the intense eye contact.

"That's- uh- that's good to know." Santana nodded slowly, rubbing the back of her neck in a strangely awkward gesture for the usually confident girl.

Rachel swallowed hard and turned away from the Latina. She could not think what had possessed herself to blurt that out except maybe the fact that Santana had been looking at her with those dark eyes Rachel loved so much- uh liked so- umm couldn't stop thinking about- fuck! After mentally kicking herself, Rachel shook the thoughts from her head and, with the brightest smile she could manage, turned back to the two girls beside her.

"I would love to join you for some cake after Glee, thank you so much, Brittany."

Brittany beamed at her and bounced excitedly, much to Santana's annoyance. The Latina slid off the blonde into the empty seat beside her; she kissed the sad look from Brittany's face and patted her own lap. Quinn reappeared just as Brittany settled onto Santana so she took the now empty chair beside Rachel. The two exchanged a slightly awkward smile but no more was said as Mr. Schuester strode into the choir room looking chipper and clasping a handful of sheet music.

"In my hands I hold the set list for Sectionals and the results of this week's duet assignment!"

The room fell silent as everyone waited with baited breath. Will grinned. He tapped his fingers on the piano in a drumroll.

"The duet number we are doing at Sectionals is… I've Had The Time of My Life featuring the phenomenal Mercedes Jones and the fabulous Kurt Hummel!"

Mercedes and Kurt hugged each other with a squeal - the rest of the club congratulated them, some more begrudgingly than others.

"And our solo song is going to be Valerie by Amy Winehouse featuring the smoky tones of Santana Lopez and a dance duet by Mike Chang and Brittany Pierce." Will beamed at the kids, starting a round of applause. "You guys were all incredible this week, it took Miss. Pillsbury and I forever to choose a winner of the duets. It was so, so close. But I think this is going to sound fantastic at Sectionals-"

Santana had stopped listening to the teacher as soon as she had heard the word 'Valerie' leave his mouth and she had whipped round to stare at the tiny diva sat the other side of Quinn. Rachel would not meet her gaze however. The Glee kids congratulated Santana, patting her on the shoulder and shouting encouragement and affirmations at her. Brittany hugged the brunette tight until she had to be pried off by Quinn when Santana started to go a little bug-eyed.

As Glee got underway, Kurt and Mercedes taking centre stage as Mr. Schuester started walking them through the choreography he had envisioned for the performance, Santana made a beeline for Rachel.

"So it's just a coincidence that Mr. Schue picks the exact same song for me to sing that you were talking to Britt and I about last week, right?" Santana lent casually beside the diva on the piano, her arms folded as she watched Mr. Schue and Mercedes argue over the routine.

Rachel stiffen. "That is correct. Although…" She glanced sideways at the girl. "I may have mentioned the song to him in passing once… or twice."

"Uh huh. And me getting the solo? That's, what, another huge coincidence?" The teasing note in Santana's voice had not yet registered with the diva.

"Um… yes?"

Santana shifted until she was close enough to whisper in Rachel's ear. "You're a really bad liar, Rachel."

Rachel turned to her, panic flooding her system at the thought of having upset the girl when all she really wanted was to be part of her life. "I'm really sorry, Santana. I just thought… I mean, I was trying to do a nice thing! You have such a unique voice and so much talent, I wanted to make sure you got a chance to shine, that's all-"

"You like my voice?" Santana interrupted Rachel's quickly spiraling-out-of-control panic and stopped her in her tracks.

The look in Santana's eyes – shock mixed with happiness, and just a hint of pride – made Rachel's brain halt it's rambling for a few seconds.

"I-I could listen to you sing all day. Q-Quinn and Brittany too. You're all so talented and you sound lovely together," she covered quickly, realising she was once again on the verge of straying into uncharted waters that she just wasn't quite ready to explore yet…

Santana's answering smile took her breath away. "You're very sweet, Rachel. And coming from our star soloist, that's very high praise. So thank you." She nudged the girl with her shoulder, making the diva laugh shakily. "Can I give you a hug?"

Rachel stuttered something that Santana didn't quite catch.

"I'm sorry, my bad. Don't feel obligated at all to say yes, okay? I'm not about that-"

"Yes!"

Santana raised an eyebrow uncertainly at the diva. "You sure?"

Rachel nodded quickly. "I'm sure. I would- I would very much like a hug."

Santana wrapped her arms about the shorter girl's shoulders and held her close; their bodies flush against each other. Rachel's chin rested on the Latina's shoulder and her arms snaked about her waist until her fingers could lock together. The diva let out a shaky breath – her heart sounded deafening in her ears and she was quite worried the other girl would hear it and figure out why…

Before she knew it, and much too soon for her liking, Santana was pulling away again. Rachel managed to stifle her whimper at the loss of contact but she could not stop her body from missing the feel of Santana against it. Nor could she stop the blush that coloured her cheeks as she fought to regain some semblance of decorum within herself.

"Britt, don't-"

Rachel turned just in time to see the blonde dancer come hurtling at her and scoop her up in a bone-crushing hug.

"-hurt her..." Santana sighed, grimacing as the poor diva patted Brittany's back awkwardly as her arms were pinned to her sides. "Let her down now, Britt. She needs to breathe!"

Brittany, for her part, looked a little guilty as she gently placed Rachel back on her feet and set about straightening her appearance as best she could. "Sorry, Rach, I keep forgetting how tiny and breakable you are! San just looked like she was enjoying hugging you so I wanted to hug you properly too."

Rachel glanced over at Santana; the ex-Cheerio refused to meet her gaze and awkwardly shuffled some sheet music on the piano. The diva could not help the chuckle that escaped her. It was nice to know that Santana had liked the hug too, and to see that the girl wasn't as smooth as she liked to pretend.

* * *

Rachel and Quinn wandered down the school hallway towards the Home Ec. room together. Santana and Brittany had hung back at the end of Glee to speak to Mr. Schuester about their parts in the Sectionals numbers and would catch up with them in a few. They walked in silence but it was not a particularly uncomfortable one, just a little wary as neither wanted to overstep given the last year's history between them.

Quinn made to go into the Home Ec. room.

"I-I think we should wait for Brittany. She said she wanted to do a big reveal when we were all together," Rachel interjected.

Quinn paused, thought for a second, before nodding and letting go of the door handle. "Britt does enjoy her big reveals. And she definitely prefers it when we're together," She mused.

Rachel smiled. "So I've noticed."

Quinn turned to look at the diva. Her keen eyes examining the girl almost critically; not missing a thing as she took note of the wary distance between them, the girl's fingers drumming out an anxious rhythm on her leg, the way she wouldn't look at Quinn for more than a few seconds before glancing back down the hallway. The blonde sighed. It seemed it might not be Santana that made Rachel wary after all.

"It was nice of you to put Santana forward for the solo," Quinn took a half step towards Rachel to get the girl's attention. "She does so much for Britt and I, she deserves something good and for people to start seeing her as more than just who she was last year."

Rachel frowned. "Santana is very talented. She earned that solo, I just gave Mr. Schue a nudge, that's all."

Quinn watched Rachel carefully as the girl took a step closer to her.

"And I know what it's like to be judged on who I was last year too. Especially when you just cannot seem to figure out how not to be that person anymore…" The diva trailed off, her eyes falling to the floor.

"I get that."

Rachel's head shot back up to look at Quinn. "You-You do?"

"I don't know if you noticed at all but last year was kind of a shitshow for me, Rachel." Quinn turned from the girl with a sigh and lent against the classroom door. "I had a decision to make when school started again. I could fall back into the Head-Bitch-in-Charge role, re-join the Cheerios and start dating a football player again… or I could figure out who the hell I actually am." She glanced at the diva. "It's not as easy as the movies make it look. You can't just get a new haircut and a makeover and suddenly know who the fuck you are."

Rachel grimaced. "So I'm discovering."

"It's fucking hard work and the only reason I haven't given up yet is because I have Santana and Brittany, and the Glee Club, I suppose. They're my family. They get what I'm struggling with, especially Santana." Quinn met Rachel's eyes again. "I know we've hurt you a lot in the past, I know I've hurt you and I judged you before I got to know you last year but… but if you give me, give us a second chance you won't regret it."

Rachel, wide-eyed, swallowed the lump in her throat and gave a small nod not trusting herself to speak in that moment.

Quinn let out the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. She had seen the way the diva had been watching them lately, watching Santana especially. Like she was an orphan looking in on a happy family enjoying their Christmas dinner. Quinn knew that look far too well, had lived that most of last year, and it had hurt more than she could even put into words. She had had her suspicions that Rachel was struggling and had gotten a little lost. Even though Quinn very much felt like she was still in that place, and still could not see the forest for the trees, she knew having someone by her side made things just a little bit easier.

"Cake time!" Brittany came skipping down the hallway ahead of Santana and skidded to a halt by the Home Ec. room. The dancer wrapped an arm round Rachel and one round Quinn and squeezed them tight until Santana managed to pry them apart.

"Come on, Britt, if you strangle them then no one will be able to see your awesome cake!"

Brittany threw the classroom door open and dragged Quinn in by the hand. "Okay, close your eyes! Don't open until I say. You too, San!"

Quinn and Santana shared a smile and shut their eyes. Brittany beckoned Rachel over and the two of them carefully brought the cake and placed it on the table in front of the waiting girls.

"Okay, okay, now… open!"

The cake was completely covered in red frosting with perfectly shaped little yellow stars and cute little smiley-faced pink ducks dotted about on top in icing. Brittany, hands clasped together under her chin, watched the girls' reactions with excitement.

"Britt, that looks awesome!" Santana bent to swipe her finger through the frosting on the side of the cake for a taste. "And it tastes fucking awesome too!"

"It looks delicious," Quinn smiled warmly at Brittany and Rachel. "I love the stars and the ducks, I almost don't want to eat it."

"Nooo! You have to, that's the best part, remember?" Brittany whipped round to look for a knife but Santana beat her to it.

"How about, Britt-Britt, we let Rachel do the honours?" Santana held the knife handle out to the diva as Brittany nodded enthusiastically.

Rachel took the knife with a brilliant smile and carefully cut them all a slice each. Brittany's slice was gone in a heartbeat and she spent the next few minutes nibbling at one of her ducks. Quinn managed to get covered in frosting and scowled only half-heartedly at Santana as the girl almost choked to death on her own cake laughing at her. Rachel cut her slice into smaller pieces and ate them one by one, chewing them slowly, enjoying the flavours and the fact that these three girls she barely knew had gone out of their way to include her.

Once they had finished, Quinn got to her feet and went hunting for something to store the cake in. She came back with two similar sized cake tins and cut the cake in half; she handed one tin to Brittany and one to Rachel.

"There, half each. But no more until tomorrow please, Britt, I don't need you on the ceiling all night again!"

Brittany stuck her tongue out at Quinn and let Santana put the tin in her bag so it wouldn't get knocked about too much. Rachel hugged her tin to her chest. The warm glow that had been filling her heart suddenly spread everywhere and she had to battle the urge to burst into tears.

"Right, we had dessert, now it's time for actual food so onwards to Breadstix!" Santana slung her bag onto her back and steered Brittany towards the door. "You coming, Rach?"

Rachel looked round to find all three girls watching her expectantly. She blushed. "I can't tonight, my dads and I have tickets to an amateur production of Rent this evening. They've been looking forward to it for months," The diva saw Santana nod disappointedly.

"Sure thing, Rach. Have fun with your dads, okay?" The Latina let Brittany tug her out the classroom by the hand.

Rachel felt her heart clench.

Quinn nudged the diva with her shoulder. "Don't mind Santana, she'll get it over as soon as she starts inhaling Breadstix."

Rachel gave the blonde a sad smile. "I really wish I could come this time."

Quinn held her gaze. "I know."

* * *

Quinn lay awake staring at the ceiling. The glow of Santana's alarm clock on the bedside table told her it was midnight. She sighed and untangled herself from Brittany and Santana's arms to sit on the edge of the bed, her feet just touching the cold, laminated floor below. It was one of those nights again where she just could not get her brain to shut off.

No matter what she tried, she could not stop her mind coming back to Rachel Berry and it was starting to piss her off. The girl was horribly stubborn and annoyingly kind all at the same time and Quinn just wanted to scream at the girl to just tell them what she needed so that they could all get on with their lives together.

Quinn froze. She quirked an eyebrow. Together? Was that what she wanted? Did she really want anyone else to be a part of their little family of three? Could she handle that? She was not as fluid or as accepting as Brittany. The dancer just wanted everybody to be happy, so she hadn't even blinked when she had wandered into Santana's room to find her girlfriend on top of Quinn, their lips locked. Brittany had just thrown herself on the bed next to them, kissed them both on the cheek and watched cartoons like it was the most normal thing in the world. Quinn had later found out that Brittany had long ago told Santana she thought her and Quinn would be hot together so when Santana had raised the idea of polyamory, after explaining what it meant to the tall blonde, Brittany had happily agreed.

Quinn wasn't even as empathetic and open-minded as Santana. The Latina had explained to Quinn that yes, Brittany was her girlfriend and she loved her, but no, that did not mean there wasn't room in her heart for other people too. Love is not a finite resource, you cannot run out of it. So if Quinn wanted to be a part of hers and Brittany's relationship, as something more than she already was, then there was plenty of room and love for her too.

But Rachel Berry was a whole different kettle of fish. And Quinn did not quite know where the diva would fit in… or if she even would fit in at all. Maybe the girl would come crashing into their little bubble and ruin everything. Maybe she wouldn't understand their relationship, their love and would want nothing to do with them after that.

Quinn wasn't quite sure which possibility worried her more. Rachel ruining what they had or Rachel not wanting to be a part of it… She sighed again. She had to admit, the diva had changed since last year. She no longer knew what to expect from the girl and that threw her off. Quinn was very good at reading people and understanding their motives. But currently Rachel didn't seem to know her own reasons for doing things and it made figuring the diva out that much harder.

"Hey," Santana's soft voice pulled her back to earth. "I can hear you worrying from over here, Q. What's up?"

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

"I don't think so. You're real grouchy if you don't get enough sleep, Q, and I don't think I'm up for practicing my lion taming on you tomorrow." Santana reached over and tugged on the blonde's t-shirt until the girl turned and sat cross legged facing her. "Talk to me."

Quinn was silent for a moment, fiddling with a loose thread on her shorts. Santana propped herself up on her elbow and waited.

"I can't figure out how I feel about Rachel."

Santana nodded slowly. "Okay…"

"I mean, putting everything from last year aside, I just can't quite figure her out and it's pissing me off." She heard Santana chuckle and gave her a prod with her foot. "I think she might be in the same boat as us, you know? I think she's lost and trying to fight her way out of the past."

"That makes sense. So what's tripping you up about her then?"

Quinn could just about make out the curiosity in Santana's eyes in the darkness. She knew that the girl would never judge her nor make her feel shitty about feeling the way she felt. Even so, she hesitated a moment.

"I don't want to lose what we have, S. But even more, I don't want to get hurt again, and I don't want to see you and Britt get hurt either."

Santana smiled softly at her and slipped her hand into Quinn's, lacing their fingers together. "You will never lose us. Okay?"

Quinn nodded, not able to meet the brunette's eyes but squeezed her hand, bringing it to her mouth for a kiss.

"And as for Rachel? I don't know what's going to happen with her. I don't think she even knows what she wants yet, or if she does she's too afraid to admit it!" Santana shifted closer to the blonde until she could rest her chin in her knee. "But we will cross that bridge together or not at all, okay? You and Britt come first."

Quinn's head shot up. "Don't… don't close yourself off to that possibility though, okay? With Rachel?"

Santana cocked her head. "You already like her, don't you?"

Quinn frowned. "I like that she likes you. And that she's kind and considerate with Brittany."

"Maybe I should rephrase. You already care about her… don't you?"

Quinn rolled her eyes but didn't deny it. Santana nudged her with her head until Quinn bent and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Smartass."

"Smartass, badass, hot piece of ass, what can't I do?!" Santana rolled onto her back, hand pressed dramatically to her forehead making Quinn snort with laughter.

Santana grinned and watched the blonde with soft eyes.

"What?" Quinn wiped a tear from her eye, still fighting to control her amusement.

"You have every reason in the world to not give a fuck anymore, yet you still do. You're incredible-"

Quinn cut Santana off with a kiss, straddling the girl. Santana did not hesitate to kiss her back and wrapped her arms tight around the blonde's waist. They stayed locked in their embrace for a while, eyes closed, breathing each other in. Their kisses turned soft; Quinn covering every inch of Santana she could reach with kisses until the blonde no longer felt overwhelmed by her love for the girl. Finally, Quinn settled with her head on Santana's chest, safe in the girl's arms, and let her eyes close.

* * *

**AN: Let me know what you think of the Quinn-centric chapter, I'm enjoying getting to know her better - I hope you are too =)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Urgh adulting is hard! I miss my Uni days of going to the odd class and then just watching copious amounts of queer TV shows/films while eating pizza in my underwear. I mean, I still do that most of the time, it's just fraught with anxiety and responsibilities now =/ anywho, the writing is starting to slow down cos I have packing to do, responsibilities to deal with, organising to... organise... you get the drift. Plus I'm back at work and moving in August, starting my Masters in September, gotta get the friggin' assigned reading done for Uni too *sigh* **

**Before we begin, thank you so much to all you awesome people for reading and especially to the folks who have reviewed! I'd be writing this anyway but you guys make me want to keep posting for sure =)**

**To Beatriz:** **Thank you for your kind words. If I can push through my bullshit and mental health stuff to write this after six years then you can get back to doing what you love too. I believe in you. Keep on keeping on, lovely person!**

**Much love,**

**Maxx**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, if I did Glee would have been even gayer!**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

Everybody at William McKinley High School knew Brittany S. Pierce. Mostly because she'd made out with about 99% of the student body! But also because she always seemed to be dancing to her own tune, literally and figuratively. The teachers had given up trying to tutor her or even make her stay awake in class, they left that seemingly unenviable task to the blonde's ever-present guard dogs, Santana and Quinn. The students barely noticed the girl's antics anymore; more out of sheer necessity and fear of their own wellbeing than anything. Because God help the kid who thought it was a clever idea to pick on her or thought it was any business of theirs what Brittany got up to. Santana and Quinn had only had to publicly deal with one or two such incidents before people got the message.

So when Brittany wandered down the empty hallway well before the bell was set to ring to end her current class, no one batted an eyelid. She pirouetted past the hall monitor, popped-and-locked past a couple of classrooms and moonwalked the rest of the way to the choir room – only pausing to slip notes into a few of the lockers as she went past.

The choir room door shut behind her and Brittany dropped her backpack onto Rachel's usual chair in the front row. She set about stretching for a few minutes. Once she felt warmed up enough, she pulled out her iPod and ear buds and searched through her music until she found the perfect song. With a smile she put her earbuds in and pocketed her iPod before starting her routine. There were very few times and places in the world that Brittany felt truly at home and truly in control. One such time was when she was dancing. She felt connected, not only to her body, but to everything in those moments – like she finally understood the world. And she felt like the world finally understood her too.

Today wasn't about that though. This private dance-a-thon was about losing herself for a little while. She had so many things in her head, so many worries and what-ifs jumbled up in there that she felt like she might explode from it all. So Brittany dealt with it the best way she knew how: she just danced until she figured things out.

At that same moment, Rachel Berry stepped out of class clutching a hall pass and headed towards the girl's bathroom. She darted past the choir room without a second glance. It wasn't until her return journey that she noticed a flash of movement through the glass in the choir room door. She backtracked and peered inside to see the tall blonde, complete focus and concentration on her face, dancing like she had never seen her dance before.

Rachel couldn't help herself – she slowly opened the choir room door and stepped inside. Brittany had her eyes closed and her music blaring so did not notice a thing. Rachel, her back against the closed door, slid down until she was sat on the floor, her legs stretched out in front of her, and watched the blonde. She was transfixed, in awe of the way the girl could move her body, the way she made it look so effortless and so fluid. Rachel had taken a number of different forms of dance in her life so thought herself well above average in the art but Brittany? Brittany was something else and the diva could not take her eyes off her.

With sweat dripping from her and her breath coming fast, Brittany finally wrapped her routine up - she timed it perfectly with the end of one of the songs. She took a moment to let her heart rate slow and pulled out her earbuds, stowing her iPod back in her bag as she grabbed her towel and buried her face in it to dry off. The sound of applause behind her made her turn and her eyes fell on her unexpected audience.

"Rachel?"

"That was phenomenal, Brittany. I have never seen anyone move the way you can! You are quite a sight to behold when you're dancing," Rachel climbed to her feet and smoothed out her clothing.

Brittany grinned. "Thanks, Rach, you're so nice!"

"Seriously, Brittany, I have been taking dance classes all my life and I still can't make my body do half of the things you seem to do so effortlessly. You're going to kill it at Sectionals tomorrow!"

"Dancing isn't about being perfect, and you should never compare yourself to anyone else. It's about feelings and freedom and connection," Brittany moved to Rachel and took the girl's hand, twirling her on the spot and making her smile. "See?"

Rachel blushed as the girl returned her smile and pulled her into her arms so they could dance together. Brittany wrapped an arm around Rachel's waist and took the lead as they two-stepped around the choir room, spinning gracefully together. After a while Rachel couldn't quite work out where she ended and Brittany started and she found she did not mind. The blonde was solid and strong, yet gentle and giving; Rachel felt safe in her arms and even though they were moving quite quickly now, somehow she knew Brittany would not let her fall.

Their pace slowed little by little until Brittany pulled away, Rachel's hand still in her own, and bowed. Rachel curtsied in return with a laugh.

"That was so much fun, thank you, Brittany."

"Dancing is always best when it's for fun. That's why I do it whenever I can. Plus it helps me think too," Brittany let go of Rachel's hand and bent to pick up her towel where it had fallen during their spinning.

"It does?" Rachel sounded shocked.

"Uh huh. And I think I've figured something out finally."

"Figured what out?"

Brittany turned back to Rachel, her gaze intense all of a sudden. "I want to kiss you. But I can't yet."

Rachel blinked at her. "Umm… what?"

"I can't kiss you yet, Rachel. Because I think you want someone else to be your first sweet lady kiss." Brittany dabbed the back of her neck with her towel and sat in the front row facing the diva.

Rachel frowned now. "…I do?"

"Yes. You just… aren't ready yet. Or you don't know how to ask her, I'm not quite sure which. But that's okay. You need to take your time and sort it out in your own head too." The blonde took a swig from her water bottle. "But I would like to kiss you at some point and not because of my make-out list. Because you're cute and I think you'd taste like cherries and sheet music."

Rachel did not quite know how to respond. She stared at the blonde for a long minute, the girl staring right on back at her expectantly. Brittany's eyes flickered to the clock behind Rachel and she sprang to her feet.

"Class is almost over, Rach, you should probably get back before you get in trouble!" Brittany ushered the still floundering diva out of the choir room. "If your teacher says anything just tell them you were helping me. They should be nice to you then. See you in Glee!"

With that, Brittany shut the choir room door leaving Rachel to wander back to her class in a daze.

* * *

"Hey, Britt-Britt, what'cha doing?" Santana, closely followed by Quinn, entered the choir room to find the dancer sat thoughtfully on top of the piano.

"We're a triad, 'cuz there's three of us, what would four people make?" Brittany mused.

Santana exchanged a knowing glance with Quinn before hopping up on the piano beside her girlfriend. "Still worrying about Rachel, huh?"

Brittany turned to wrap herself around Santana and lay her head on the brunette's shoulder. "She's so small. I don't want her to get hurt."

"It seems you and Q agree on something for once."

Quinn slapped Santana's knee with a glare and pulled herself up to sit the other side of Brittany on the piano. "She's tougher than she looks, B." Quinn rested a hand on the dancer's shoulder and squeezed gently.

Brittany leant back into Quinn, letting the other blonde wrap an arm around her and place a kiss into her hair. "That's true. And she's an awesome dance partner! I bet I could lift her real high in the air…"

Santana narrowed her eyes at the blonde. "Something you wanna tell us, Britt?"

Brittany just shrugged. "We danced." The tall blonde slid off the piano, leaving Santana and Quinn with very uncertain looks on their faces.

"Oh-kay…" Santana looked at her girlfriend suspiciously. "Britt… what did you do?"

"I told you, San, we danced. It was fun, she's very light on her feet. Then we talked about kissing and about you, but it wasn't, like, saying your name or anything, but I think Rachel knew it was about you. And then she had to go back to class," Brittany saw the two girls watching her with wide-eyes and laughed. "Yeah, she looked exactly like that when she left! How did you guys know?"

Santana glanced over at Quinn for some support, but the girl had her head in her hands. The brunette got down from the piano and approached Brittany. She crouched down in front of her and clasped her hands tight.

"Britt-"

"I know what I'm doing," Brittany nodded earnestly. "Just trust me, San. I danced on it!"

Santana couldn't help the grin that appeared on her face, or the wistful chuckle that slipped out. Brittany had her own way of looking at things and her own way of dealing with them too, but the girl had never let them down, and she was yet to be wrong about something she had danced on.

"I do trust you, Britt. And I trust your dancing!" Santana pressed her lips to Brittany's hands before turning to Quinn, who still sat shaking her head on the piano. "Out of the three of us, who is less likely to spook Rachel? Huh?"

Quinn rolled her eyes but hmm'd in agreement.

"And out of the three of us, who has never been wrong about stuff like this?"

Quinn did open her mouth to protest at that but a glare from Santana stopped her short. "Brittany," she grumbled.

"That's right." Santana turned back to her girlfriend who was practically vibrating with happiness. "If you say you know what you're doing then we trust you, don't we?" She called over her shoulder.

"Of course we do," Quinn slid off the piano and came to sit next to Brittany, linking her arm through the dancer's. "No one else has a mind quite like yours, Britt, that's for damn sure."

Brittany beamed at them, swelling with pride and happiness at their words. All she wanted was to keep their little family safe and happy. And she had a feeling that Rachel could help with that too. Maybe her motives were a little selfish, but she genuinely thought they could help Rachel as well. A problem shared was a problem halved, that's what her mom always said. Brittany was a firm believer in it and made sure her, Quinn and Santana had an evening every week where they could unwind and talk. Sure, the tastiness of Breadstix was definitely an added bonus, but it was one of their few safe spaces and the nice atmosphere and unlimited breadsticks always managed to shift Santana and Quinn's worst moods.

"I want Rachel to come with us to Breadstix tonight!" Brittany told the two, a hint of desperation in her voice.

Santana sighed, straightening. "I know you do, Britt, but you can't force Rachel Berry to do anything. Believe me, Glee Club has tried many times-"

Someone cleared their throat behind Santana. She turned to find Rachel Berry herself stood in the doorway with a shy smile on her face.

"I'd love to come to Breadstix with you tonight," She watched Santana uncertainly. "If-If that's okay with you?"

Santana glanced behind her at a smirking Quinn and a bouncing Brittany before turning back to Rachel. "It's more than okay with us. We just don't wanna get in the way of any harmonising plans you had!"

The mischievous smile that reached all the way to Santana's eyes told Rachel she was poking fun at her. The diva's heart beat a little quicker.

"Nope, my schedule is free and clear this evening," Rachel strode past Santana without even acknowledging the cheeky note in the girl's voice and sat herself in her usual seat once Brittany had scrambled out of it and plonked herself on Quinn.

"Okay then, I guess it's Breadstix for four tonight!" Santana rubbed her hands together with a wink at Rachel.

"Who's going to Breadstix?" Finn had entered the choir room and smiled dopily at Rachel.

Santana caught the slight deflating the boy caused in Rachel and managed to claim the chair the other side of the diva before Finn could. She offered the boy a smirk as he scowled at her and chose a seat directly behind Rachel instead. Rachel peered sideways at Santana and, when she caught the girl's eye, mouthed 'thank you' at her. The Latina shot her a wink and mouthed back 'anytime' before stretching and casually putting her arm along the back of Rachel's chair.

* * *

Once the final Glee Club rehearsal before Sectionals was over and done with, and Mr. Schuester had given them all their schedules for tomorrow's competition, Santana leant over to the diva next to her and whispered in her ear.

"You sure you're up for Breadstix tonight?"

Rachel gave her an uncertain look but didn't pull away. "Umm yes?"

Santana held her gaze, their faces centimetres apart, until she heard Finn huff in annoyance and finally get up to leave. She grinned and sat back again. "Awesome. Glad to hear it, Rach." She looked past the girl to the blondes. "Shall we?"

Brittany shot out of the choir room at breakneck speed dragging poor Rachel by the hand. Quinn linked arms with Santana and the two of them followed at a more reasonable pace.

"You really shouldn't wind Finn up like that, S," Quinn murmured as they passed the pouting boy in the hallway. "You know what he gets like and he always seems to get his way in the end."

Santana rolled her eyes. "He's a giant toddler who, you're right, is used to getting his own way. I'm just teaching him a valuable life lesson that he'll have to learn sooner or later anyway!"

"He's straight, white and male, Santana. If he doesn't want to learn that lesson he's not going to!" Quinn held Santana's gaze, fear creeping into her voice. "You or Rachel will be the ones who get hurt. And I couldn't bear that."

Santana stopped them and pulled Quinn to face her. "Whether or not Rachel is a part of our family, I won't let anyone make her feel uncomfortable or hurt her. So yeah, I'm probably gonna have to piss Hudson off a little until he gets the message!"

Quinn scowled and opened her mouth but Santana pressed a finger to her lips before she could get a word out.

"I won't let anything bad happen, Q, to any of my girls. I'd rather die than let anyone hurt any of you ever again." Santana pressed a kiss to the blonde's knuckles and grinned as they heard Brittany yelling 'Breadstix' from outside.

Quinn watched as Santana backed down the hallway, beckoning her with a finger before finally spinning on her heels and disappearing outside. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest and she couldn't keep the worry from seeping onto her face.

"Yeah, S, that's what I'm afraid of."

* * *

"Table for four tonight, huh?" Sandy stopped to take the group's order, her usual customer-service smile softening into genuine happiness at seeing the girls.

The older blonde woman had been a server at Breadstix for many years now and had practically watched the Unholy Trinity grow up. She had seen many a birthday, many fights and tears, and laughter too! She had been witness to Brittany and Santana's first date years ago, although she was quite certain neither girl had realised that was what it actually was until much later. She had seen each of them on dates with a number of the boys from their school too, but not once had she ever seen them look so happy and relaxed than when they were here together.

And now, she noted with some curiosity, they seemed to have a fourth. Sandy gave the smaller girl a once over. The girl looked a little out of place and a touch anxious, and Sandy was sure she had never seen her in Breadstix before! Oh, that was why - she had just ordered one of the few vegan items on their menu with a few probing questions about if they were made on site and if the ingredients were fresh. The older woman watched Santana roll her eyes but quickly follow it up with a smile and a gentle bit of teasing.

Sandy read their order back to them before leaving them to it. She chanced a glance back over her shoulder, just before she headed into the kitchen, and caught the smaller girl smile a beaming smile. Something told her that it wouldn't be long before their little table for three became a regular table for four.

* * *

"…So she stands there, hands on her hips, murder in her eyes and tells Coach Sylvester that she's 'not finished', right, Q?" Santana eyes sparkled as she glanced over to Quinn for confirmation.

The blonde uh-huh'd, her own eyes drinking in Santana as the girl turned back to the captivated diva beside her.

"Quinn demands that the Cheerios give up one of their six pages in the yearbook and give it to the Glee Club, free of charge! And then she even has the fucking badass-ness to tell Coach Sylvester she doesn't even wanna be on the Cheerios anymore," Santana sits back in the booth and meets Quinn's eyes, sliding her hand across the table to link her fingers with the blonde's own. "She'd rather be a part of a club that's proud to have her. Like Glee Club."

Rachel managed to wrench her eyes away from Santana to take in the blush and sweet smile on Quinn's face. "You really did that? That's… so selfless and lovely, Quinn. But why wouldn't you want to be back on the Cheerios? I know how much easier the uniform and the status would have made your life back then."

Quinn gave Santana's fingers a gentle squeeze before turning her focus on Rachel. "You're right, it would have made things easier. For a little while anyway. But it would have just been one more charade to keep up, one more person I was at the mercy of and I just couldn't do it." Quinn shrugged; the sadness in her voice made Brittany loop her arms around her and rest her head on Quinn's shoulder. "And anyway, it was Coach Sylvester that got our amateur status revoked and almost got us kicked out of the competition, did you know that? Not Mr. Schue, and definitely not you, Rachel. I know you thought it was your fault but you were just trying to do what you thought was right for us. Coach Sylvester was pretty awful to Glee Club, and she made the three of us do some pretty awful things too. I just couldn't be a part of it any longer."

Rachel returned the blonde's wistful smile and found herself subconsciously reaching across the table to her, stopping just short of Quinn's hand. "Santana's right. You are a badass."

Santana snorted, making Quinn roll her eyes, but Rachel ignored her and pushed on, determined to make the blonde hear her words.

"I had no idea what you did for us, for Glee Club… for me… even when I didn't, or maybe wouldn't, see it you were there looking out for us. You are intelligent, and loyal, and fiercely protective over the people you care about. And those are things I understand and respect, Quinn." Rachel smiled gently and started to pull her hand back.

Quinn caught it and held on tight. She held Rachel's shocked gaze and, with all the sincerity she could manage in her eyes, she nodded. Rachel felt her heart clench painfully in her chest. It was only a touch and a nod but she knew things had changed between them in that moment. They understood each other a little better, understood that they weren't quite as different as they had first thought.

"Do you wanna kiss Rach now too, Quinn?" Brittany had been peering at them curiously, watching the exchange with a smile that matched the soppy one on Santana's face.

"Brittany!" Quinn took her hand back from Rachel and elbowed the tall blonde beside her for ruining the moment.

Santana laughed and nudged her girlfriend's knee under the table with her foot, which was quite a feat as she'd had to navigate both Quinn and Rachel's legs on the way. Brittany stuck her tongue out at her, to which Santana blew a kiss in return. Rachel watched all this with curiosity and a little awkwardness, but it was her curious nature that won out in the end.

"So how long have you been together?" The diva asked as nonchalantly as she could manage.

Quinn caught Santana's eye and quirked an eyebrow, her smile turning mischievous. Santana, just managing to stifle a laugh, gave the blonde a small nod and sat back to enjoy this.

"Who are you asking about?" Quinn enquired.

A slight frown found its way onto the diva's face as she looked back and forth between the three girls, all looking at her expectantly. She swallowed hard but still no words managed to find their way out of her mouth.

"Are you asking about Santana and I? Or Brittany and Santana? Or perhaps Brittany and I?"

"Yes?" Rachel croaked out. She had so many questions to ask the three, regarding their unusual relationship especially, but she felt as if she were suddenly stood in the middle of a field full of landmines. One wrong step and… She felt a finger under her chin then, tugging her face round until she was looking into Santana's dark eyes… dark eyes full of mischief and mirth…

"Relax, Rach," The Latina stroked her thumb over the diva's cheek. "We're just messing with you."

A tingle ran down Rachel's spine at the girl's touch, it was all she could do to stop her eyes from sliding closed and stop herself from leaning into her hand. The diva let out a shaky laugh when Santana finally, sadly, took her hand back.

"How about this: for every question you answer, we'll answer one too?" Santana wiggled her eyebrows at the smaller girl. "Deal?"

Rachel thought about it. It was a reasonable request and seemed fair enough. It was just… what could they possibly want to know about her? Yes, she had been insanely curious about the three of them since the start of school but what if she got an answer she didn't like? Or couldn't handle? And what if they asked something she couldn't answer?

"I promise," Quinn leant across the table towards Rachel when she caught the sudden tension in the girl's small frame. "That you don't have to answer anything you don't want to, okay?"

Rachel found herself nodding. "Okay. Deal."

Quinn smiled and sat back. "To answer your question, we've been together since summer break. Well, romantically anyway. We've been the Unholy Trinity since kindergarten."

"Fuck yeah we have!" Santana grinned. "Your turn to answer, Rach-"

"Did you really like the vegan meatballs?" Brittany piped up, her chin resting in her hands as she awaited her answer.

"Britt!"

"Shush! I wanna know! So did you?"

Rachel laughed quietly at the waves of frustration coming off of the Latina next to her. "They were not the best I've ever had but yes, I did like them, thank you, Brittany." She turned to Santana. "What's your favourite colour?"

"Red. And black. I look hot in both," The Latina smirked when Brittany let out a wolf whistle. "What do your dads do?"

Rachel smiled at the mention of her fathers. "Daddy, LeRoy, is a doctor and Dad, Hiram, is a lawyer."

"Aww that's so cute!" Brittany bounced in her seat until Quinn put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "Can they sing as awesomely as you can too?"

"They are both able to carry a tune, yes. They have quite good ranges but lack experience. However that does not stop us from enjoying many a singalong after dinner." The diva informed them happily. "But that was two questions so I get two now! I know you all only joined Glee to spy for Coach Sylvester, but why did you stay?"

The Unholy Trinity exchanged looks before answering.

"I love dancing and singing, and I got to make new friends," Brittany poked Rachel's arm. "Like you, Rach!"

"It was the first place in my life that I felt like I fit in even a little bit," Quinn admitted. "And truthfully, I actually joined Glee to keep an eye on Finn, you know, back when I was shallow and pathetic and didn't think I had options other than him."

Santana raised an eyebrow and tutted at the blonde but Quinn just threw her napkin at her.

"What about you, Santana?" Rachel turned to her hesitantly.

"Yeah, S, what about you?"

Santana threw the napkin back at Quinn and turned to Rachel. "Like I told you last year, it's the best part of my day. I wasn't lying about that! And anyway," the Latina jerked a thumb at the two blondes. "Where they go, I go."

"What's your second question, Rach?"

Rachel hesitated a moment. She knew that once she started this there was no going back… "When did you first know you liked girls?"

Santana held Rachel's gaze. The Latina cocked her head to one side. "When did you?"

Rachel's mouth ran dry and she could hear blood rushing in her ears. "I… I don't know. I suppose I've-I've always been interested in the female form, I just never really found someone who made me want to act on those feelings…" the diva drew in a stuttery breath. "Until now."

Santana subconsciously licked her lips as she felt herself drawn to Rachel. The act made Rachel ache; she needed to taste Santana and she needed to taste her now or she was going to lose her mind.

"Can I kiss you?" Rachel heard the hitch in Santana's throat and watched the girl's eyes dilate.

"Yes."

Santana let Rachel come to her, let her dictate the kiss – a kiss that was tentative, a brush of their lips, a momentary mingling of their breath… it was barely a taste but already Rachel was hooked. She pushed herself into Santana then, with a little more force than she had meant to but the Latina didn't seem to mind as she cupped the diva's cheeks and returned the kiss. She felt Santana's lips curl into a smile against her own and before she knew it she had her fingers tangled in the girl's hair. Rachel had been dreaming about this moment for months and months. She had envisioned so many different scenarios for her first kiss with Santana – strangely none of them had involved Breadstix or the two blondes watching them with rapt attention from across the table. But it was finally happening and she found she didn't care about anything else.

Santana was warm and real and kissing her, something she never thought would actually happen! The girl's mouth opened to her a little, yielding under her, as Rachel trapped her bottom lip between her own. The sensations of the kiss started to overwhelm her; not all at once, just little by little it crept up on her. First, when Santana cupped the back of her neck, fingers stroking so lightly making a shiver run all the way down her spine. Then again when Santana's tongue touched her own, just briefly and so very gently, but it was enough to make Rachel crave more.

Her head felt fuzzy and her body was on fire and suddenly Rachel couldn't take it anymore. This was nothing like it had been with any boy she'd ever kissed. They had been hard and unrelenting – Santana was soft and confident. She needed to process all this, she needed to understand what it meant, but mostly, the sudden intensity of which the feelings had hit her all at once was overwhelming and it scared her.

Rachel pulled away, lips a little swollen, her hand going to her mouth as she stared at Santana. The Latina chuckled when she saw Rachel Berry had been rendered speechless. "I mean, I knew I was a good kisser and all but…" She trailed off when she clocked the fear and uncertainty there in the girl's eyes. "Hey, it's okay, Rach, this doesn't have to mean anything more than you want it to, okay? I promise-"

"I-I have to go. It's late, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here, I shouldn't have done that." The words falling out of Rachel's mouth in a rush as she frantically grabbed her bag, pulled some bills out of her purse and put them under her glass before bolting out of Breadstix without looking back.

* * *

Santana slipped into Brittany's bedroom, her teeth brushed and night time routine complete. She expected the two blondes to already be on their way to sleep; instead she found both of them sat cross legged on the bed waiting for her.

"Uh hey?" Santana approached them cautiously before sitting cross legged opposite them. "You okay?"

"Are you?" Quinn asked pointedly.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you kissed Rach and she ran away," Brittany chipped in sadly.

Santana rolled her eyes and got back up to pull the covers open so she could go to sleep. Brittany launched herself across the bed and landed in front of Santana, trapping the blanket under her.

"Nope. No bed until we've talked about this! Please, San?"

"Britt's right, S, we have to talk this through!"

"Why? There's nothing to talk about is there? We kissed, she said it was a mistake and she fucking ran off. Are we all on the same page now? Good. Now let me go to fucking sleep!" Santana yanked at the cover under Brittany but the girl didn't move. A growl slipped from the brunette's mouth and she threw her arms up in defeat. "Fine, I'll fucking sleep on the floor then!"

A hand wrapped around her wrist as she turned, stopping her and gently but firmly turning her back round to face the shorter blonde stood in front of her.

"It's okay, S. You're allowed to be angry, and you're allowed to be hurt. Just don't shut us out. We love you."

"Yeah," Brittany's quiet voice tugged at her heart strings. So did the unshakeable trust and love she saw in both girl's eyes.

The anger drained out of Santana and she deflated. "I just need to think." She gave them a half-hearted smile before walking out of Brittany's room and down the stairs to the Pierce's living room.

Santana threw herself on the couch with a sigh and lay there for a few minutes just staring up at the dark ceiling. How had she let this happen? How had she let Rachel Berry, of all people, get in her head and fuck her up this much? Over one fucking kiss, might I add! A month ago the girl had barely been on her radar, and then Brittany had to go and say something and be her kind, sweet self and push Santana to want to get to know the girl.

For a minute there, Santana had started picturing what it would be like to have Rachel as part of their family. She had pictured them waking up beside the diva, sharing breakfast with her, holding her hand as they all walked to Glee together, a regular table for four at Breadstix… she had pictured so much love and happiness that she was sure her heart would burst from it all!

But it seemed Quinn had been right to worry and remain a little cautious… gay panic, or whatever it was, or not, Rachel running out on them like that had hurt and felt like a middle finger to everything they had been trying to build between them. She should never have put herself, her family, in that position. After everything they had been through, all the work she had done on herself, is this really all it took to fuck her head up again? One confused diva with big brown eyes and soft lips? Really?

"Fuck."

Yes, that's all it took apparently.

"San?" Brittany had crept down the stairs and was stood wringing her hands together at the foot of the couch, her big blue eyes full of tears.

Santana immediately sat up, crawled to the end of the couch and pulled Brittany into a tight hug. "Oh Britt, please don't cry. I'm sorry for walking off like that, I never meant-"

"I just wanted Rachel to be happy again, San. I didn't want you to get hurt!" The blonde sobbed into her arms.

"No, no, no, Britt, no! This is not your fault, I promise you!" Santana pressed kisses into her girlfriend's hair. "You have such a big heart and always see the good in people, it is never the wrong thing to try and help someone. It's just… sometimes they can't be helped. Or maybe they're just scared to let someone in…"

"Like you and Quinn?"

Santana let out a soft chuckle. "Yeah, Britt, like Quinn and I. We're stubborn and bad tempered sometimes, and we don't always know what's good for us either! But that's why you're our heart, that's why you're so fucking important to this family…" She pulled away a little to look the blonde in the eye and wipe away her tears with the pad of her thumb. "You never give up on anyone, even when they've given up on themselves. And you remind us every day of all the good and beauty in the world just by being your awesome, loveable, brilliant self."

Brittany sniffed and gave a small nod. "But you're still hurting, San."

"Yeah," Santana pressed a kiss to the girl's lips, tasting her tears. "But I will get past it, I promise. Do you know why?"

"Because you have us. And we have you." Brittany recited with a firm nod.

"Exactly."

The blonde's fingers gripped Santana's tank top and pulled their mouths back together for a long slow kiss; refusing to pull away until she felt the brunette finally relax into her with a sigh. Quinn watched the two from the stairs with a full heart and a fierce determination in her eyes.

* * *

**AN: Let me know what you thought of the Britt insight and Rachel finally joining them at Breadstix! Told you there'd be aaaaaangst XD**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Hello all, my apologies for taking a while to post this! My writing came to a screeching halt while dealing with everything moving house-wise and my mental health/dissociating has been real bad of late so I'm stuck like half way through chapter seven and it's driving me nuts!**

**Also apologies for not thanking everyone personally for their wonderful and kind reviews but you guys are awesome and your words mean so much to me! I hope everyone is doing well and just keep on keeping on! You're valid and I love you all.**

**Enjoy!**

**Maxx**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing, except the brain in my skull but if anyone wants to swap sometime please just ask, mine is pissing me off!**

* * *

**Content Warning: This chapter contains scenes of assault/violence, mentions of homophobia based on religious beliefs, depictions of mental health issues and panic attacks, blood and vomit.**

**Please be safe.**

* * *

Chapter Five

Sectionals was awkward, to say the least. Rachel barely said two words and wouldn't even look at the Unholy Trinity the entire competition. Once they had been announced as winners and everyone was heading backstage to get changed, the diva all but ran to grab her things before immediately heading out to her fathers, just mumbling something about getting a ride back with them to Mr. Schuester before she vanished.

Santana had been kind of thankful that Rachel kept her distance for the rest of the week too, she was still trying to get her emotions back under control. It was true that Santana had done a great deal of work on herself over the summer, she'd not really had a choice because it was figure her shit out or drive away the people she loved most. She was angry, short tempered, judgemental and a self-proclaimed bitch, her defense mechanism was sarcasm and threats, but at her core? Santana Lopez was a ball of confusion, pain and insecurities.

She had spent so goddamn long hating herself and being angry at the world because she didn't understand her feelings for girls, more specifically Brittany. She had her abuela in one ear telling her it was unnatural and against God, she had society telling her it made her different and different was bad and a punishable offense, she had her head telling her to just blend in and make it until college then she would be free… and then there was her heart. Her heart just wanted her to love and be loved, it just wanted her to be happy and stop hiding all the time!

Her heart just wanted Brittany. So Santana had a choice to make, and make it she did. But she wasn't dumb enough to think that that was all it would take. She knew it would be hard work, she knew it would take time and a conscious effort on her part, she knew she was going to get things wrong along the way and have to learn to adapt. So that's what she did. She made her own little family and it was them against the world.

I mean, what choice did she really have? Her abuela wanted nothing to do with her after Santana told her she was in love with Brittany, which hurt way more than she thought it would and brought everything crashing down. So she wallowed and tried to work past the fact that the woman who had loved her unconditionally all her life suddenly wanted nothing more to do with her shameful, sinful granddaughter. Her parents didn't really understand. They just sort of pretended it wasn't happening which was fine with Santana because nothing really changed in her home life; she was still allowed Quinn and Brittany over to stay in her room, they just had to be a little discrete when her parents were home as Santana wasn't quite certain what the lines were she shouldn't cross with them.

The biggest thing she had to work on though was herself. Her communication skills, her insecurities, her expectations – not only of herself but of other people too – and her need to keep people at arm's length. That is a lot for anyone, never mind a sixteen year old girl coming out in a small, backwater town in America! There were thousands of times when Santana didn't want to keep going, when she just wanted to curl up in bed and never go outside again, or when she thought how much easier it would all be to just go back to being bitchy, angry cheerleader Santana that everyone expected her to be.

If it hadn't been for the two beautiful, badass blondes sat either side of her in Glee Club right then, Santana knew she would have given up. They needed her to be better- no, they needed her to be herself, and she needed them in her life. In the end, there was no choice. She would do anything for her family.

Speaking of, Brittany and Quinn had been arguing all week long about what to do about Rachel. They thought Santana didn't know but as sneaky as Quinn could be, Brittany did not have a deceptive bone in her body. Brittany wanted them to keep trying with Rachel, extend an 'oily branch' and try and get to the heart of what was going on with the diva. The dancer was adamant that the girl just needed someone who understood what she was going through and would be there for her. Santana's heart had swelled when she had heard Brittany yelling it at Quinn while they thought she was in the shower.

However Quinn's rebuttal also struck a chord. Quinn's defences were on high alert now, especially where Rachel was concerned. She wanted them to keep their distance and close rank. She had been hurt enough, so had Santana, and they couldn't trust that the diva wouldn't do it again. To which Brittany had reminded Quinn of words Santana had said to them both many times: Rachel is a human being, and human beings make mistakes.

Santana had been very proud of her family, I mean, she always was, but in that moment she knew they would be okay no matter what happened.

"Santana?"

"Hmm? What?"

Will huffed and shook his head. "I don't know where your head has been lately but will you please pay attention!" The teacher stood in front of the Glee Club with his arms folded and a look of exasperation on his face. "I know we won at Sectionals last week and it was a well-deserved victory. But now we have Regionals to prepare for, and then Nationals after that! And we need to be ready for anything this year. God knows what Sue is going to throw at us this time around…" he trailed off with a shudder.

"Well I think we should get some direction from our team captains, Mr. Schue. They should be doing their jobs, keeping us motivated and on track," Quinn threw a pointed look Rachel's way.

"Actually that's a good point, Quinn. Rachel, Finn, I'm tasking you guys with finding the perfect song to get us all motivated next week!" Will jumped up and down on the spot and went into some mild pop and lock to the horror of the kids. "Something bouncy, something full of energy! I want to feel how excited you guys are for Regionals by the end of the song, okay?" He looked to the two captains expectantly.

"Sure thing, Mr. Schue, Rach and I can do that no problem. Right, Rach?" Finn grinned at the diva sat beside him.

Rachel managed to plaster a smile on her face and nodded. "Right. You can count on us, Mr. Schue."

"Excellent!" The teacher turned back to the piano, his mind back on their set list for Regionals already.

Santana could see how uncomfortable Rachel was with this, her small frame tense as Finn started talking at her about duets they could do and how much time they'd need to spend together working on this…

"What the fuck was that, Q?" The Latina hissed at the blonde to her right.

Quinn raised an eyebrow at her.

"I know you're pissed at her but you didn't have to do that. No one deserves having Hudson set on them!"

"If Rachel's so confused about things then she can use Finn as her test subject now, instead of you." The blonde softened, her fingers tracing Santana's jaw making the brunette's breath hitch. "When she's worked it out and done her experimenting then we can try again with her. But not before. For all our sakes, Santana, not just yours."

Santana leant towards Quinn just a little, her eyes darkening. Quinn tugged the girl the rest of the way into a kiss. It was tender and sweet, Quinn's scent made Santana's head swim a little, and left both girls tingling. When Santana finally opened her eyes again, she couldn't help but see Rachel watching them out of the corner of her eye. Something flashed across the diva's face, something Santana knew well: longing. When their eyes met Rachel didn't immediately turn away and it made Santana's heart jump. But then Finn touched Rachel's shoulder to get her attention and the connection was broken. Santana felt a growl crawl up her throat at the sight of Rachel flinching at Finn's touch. If it hadn't been for Quinn's firm grip on her arm, she knew she would have lunged at the boy.

* * *

The final bell had rung ten minutes ago but Santana refused to leave Rachel alone with Finn. The boy was leaning cockily against the locker beside Rachel's where the diva stood organising her books for the weekend's homework. Finn was talking to the girl but Rachel did not seem to be particularly in the mood to join in the conversation. Santana leant against the wall by the choir room, Brittany chattering happily in one ear and Quinn grumbling in her other. She hadn't taken her eyes off the diva since they had left Glee.

"So I'm free tonight, and all weekend, if you want to start on the assignment for Glee?"

"I have homework, Finn." Rachel could feel the eyes on her; not only Finn's but Santana's dark, intense ones down the hallway. It sent a tingle down her spine. "As do you, I'm sure. We will find an afternoon next week, perhaps one lunch time?" She didn't have to see Finn's face to know he was disappointed and had been hoping for some enthusiasm but she couldn't bring herself to care.

"I was sorta hoping we could get together after school, talk about it over dinner one night?" Finn hinted hopefully.

Rachel closed her locker with a sigh. "I don't think so, Finn. I told you I'm not interested in you like that."

The boy frowned. He pushed himself away from the lockers and fell in step beside the diva. "But… after what I said at Sectionals last year, I thought-"

"Exactly. What _you _said, Finn. I did not return the sentiment, did I?"

"Well… no, not exactly, I guess. But what about everything between us last year? You were pretty much all over me!" Finn sped up to keep up with Rachel as she tried to pull away from him.

"That was then, this is now. A lot has changed, Finn," Rachel could not stop herself from glancing at the three girls by the choir room as she passed them.

Finn followed her gaze and clocked the Latina's intense stare. Santana barely even noticed him though, her eyes so firmly locked on Rachel as the diva finally escaped Finn.

"Hey, what's your problem?" Finn called over to Santana.

All eyes went to the tall boy as he moved to square up to the Latina.

"What do you want, Hudson?" Santana turned her now stony glare on Finn. She felt Quinn bristle beside her. She encircled the girl's waist casually with an arm, her other hand finding Brittany's own as she sensed the anxiety spike in her girlfriend at Finn's sudden confrontation.

"Why have you been staring at Rachel like that?"

"Why is it any concern of yours who I stare at?"

Finn scowled at her, his hands flexing at his sides. "Because Rachel is my business. I love her."

The sharp laugh escaped Santana before she could stop it. Finn's scowl only deepened.

"Is that right?"

"Yes. It is. So I won't have you hurting her or playing any of your fucked up games with her, Santana!"

A smirk settled on Santana's face. "Whatever you say."

Finn took a step towards Santana then, her tone riling him up; suddenly Rachel was there, stood between them and staring up at the tall boy.

"Finn." The warning in her voice was clear.

Finn glanced down at the diva, who shook her head at him, before fixing his eyes back on Santana.

The Latina hadn't moved, hadn't flinched, didn't even seem fazed as the boy loomed over her with anger in his eyes.

"You're right, Rach. She's not worth it." Finn stepped back, his arm around Rachel as she steered him away from the girls and down the hallway.

Santana took off before Quinn or Brittany could stop her. She caught Rachel's hand and tugged the diva round to face her. "You don't have to do this, Rach. You don't have to be scared-"

Finn whipped round and shoved her away. "Get your filthy hands off her!"

Santana staggered backwards into the blondes who had hurried after her.

"Finn!" Rachel chastised the boy as he advanced on the Latina.

"That's enough, Finn!" Quinn, one arm protectively around Santana's waist, put herself in Finn's path. The fire in the blonde's eyes was enough to give him pause.

"Really, Quinn? Of all the people you could be with, why her?" He shook his head at her. "What happened to you? You used to be someone and now look at you-"

"Shut your fucking mouth!" Santana surged forward breaking free of Brittany and Quinn and shoved the boy as hard as she could in the chest. "You don't even deserve to fucking breathe the same air as her, don't you fucking dare speak to her like you know a goddamn thing that she went through, you waste of space!"

The Latina had caught Finn by surprise and had him staggering a step or two back. When the initial shock had passed the boy saw red. He barged past Rachel, the smaller girl desperately trying to drag him away, and slammed both hands square into Santana's chest as hard as he could. Santana went flying into the lockers behind her, barely missing Quinn and Brittany. Her head whipped back on impact cracking against the metal, she caught a glancing blow with her elbows and one of the handles, lock and all, caught her right on the shoulder blade. The noise of the impact echoed all around the hallway, as did the girl's cry of pain as she crumpled to the floor.

Panic ripped through the watching girls. All three rushed to Santana's side.

"Fuck! S!"

"San!"

"Santana!"

Finn frowned and moved to stop Rachel. "Rach, what are you-"

"I think you need to leave, Finn." The diva snapped at him as she placed herself between him and Santana.

"But-"

"Now!" The diva glared at him with anger in her eyes, shocking the boy into silence. He backed away, his hands up as if she were about to go for his throat.

When he had finally vanished down the hallway Rachel turned and crouched beside Santana, her hands shaking as she tried to remember the first aid her fathers had taught her about possible head injuries. Suddenly she was being dragged to her feet, a hand wrapped painfully tight around her wrist, and pulled away from Santana.

"You need to go too," Quinn snarled at her. "You've caused nothing but pain and heartache for us. And now this?"

"Quinn, please, I never meant for any of this to happen!" Rachel winced as the blonde finally let go of her. "I just want to help-"

"I don't give a fuck what you want, Rachel!"

"Quinn!" Brittany called over, fear lacing her voice.

"Just stay away from us," Quinn whirled and shot back over to where Brittany was knelt by the Latina. "Britt? What is it?"

Brittany had gone very pale. She had been trying to get Santana to show her what hurt, but all the brunette could do was clutch her head. When Brittany finally managed to examine her girlfriend's head a little, probing gently with her fingers, they came away bloody. Quinn's eyes widened.

"We need to get her to hospital, Britt. Where's your phone?"

"At home."

"Fuck. Mine's dead…"

"I'm sorry, I forgot it, I'm so stupid!" Brittany's voice shook, her face lined with panic.

"No, you're not, Britt. But I need you to take a breath please-"

"Find something to keep pressure on the wound," Rachel stood where Quinn had left her, phone in hand. "The paramedics are on the way, but you have to get Santana talking and keep her conscious."

Quinn dug in her bag for her spare clothes. She folded up a t-shirt and, after prying Santana's hands away, she pressed it firmly to the back of the girl's head and held it there.

Brittany shifted to sit in front of Santana, her legs crossed, and took both of her girlfriend's hands in her own. "San? San, please talk to me." She squeezed her hands, massaging the girl's palms with her thumbs until Santana looked up at her. A brilliant smile lit Brittany's face. "Hey, San, I need your help. Do you remember when you, me and Quinn went to Breadstix for the first time together when it first opened?"

Santana nodded, but winced and quickly stopped. "Yeah, course I do, Britt-Britt."

"I wanted to try everything all at once, but you told me that would be too much food even for the three of us. Right?"

"You'd have thrown up everywhere, Britt. And then your mom wouldn't have let us take you out to eat again," Santana spoke slowly, her voice quiet as the throbbing in her head got worse. "And Q's mom woulda killed her if she'd had that many carbs."

"I know, you always look out for us. But can you remember what I had? I wanted to have it tonight so I've been trying to remember all day."

"I dunno, Britt, was it pasta?"

Brittany nodded earnestly. "Yes, with cheese!"

The corners of Santana's mouth curled a little. "Of course. What type of pasta was it? Noodles?"

"I don't think so, I would have remembered tying them all together. What are the pretty ones called? The ones that look little bows?" Brittany tugged on Santana's hands when the girl's head started to drop.

"Umm… bows… Farfalle, I think," Santana let out a quiet chuckle. "You tried to put them in Q's hair and she got mad 'cuz they had sauce on them."

"Oh yeah!"

"Then she stormed off to the bathroom when you tried it again."

"I don't know why, I cleaned them that time!" Brittany shrugged.

"She was pissed 'cuz your idea of cleaning them was licking the sauce off with your tongue, Britt."

Quinn couldn't help but join in with Santana's laughter.

Brittany looked perplexed. "She was mad I got sauce in her hair so I got rid of the sauce!"

Rachel stood a few feet away watching the scene, cell phone still clutched in her hand in a death grip. Her heart beat so hard and so fast in her chest. She wanted so badly to go over there and hold Santana's hand, laugh with them, do whatever she could to ensure the Latina was okay… but she knew she would only make things worse. If it hadn't been for her, Finn would never have hurt the girl. If she had just kept herself to herself then none of this would have happened! Suddenly Rachel couldn't seem to catch her breath; it came out in short, sharp gasps and she started to feel light headed.

The girls huddled by the lockers couldn't help but notice the diva as she paced, hands balled into fists, struggling to get any air into her lungs. Santana started to stand, her eyes on Rachel. Quinn managed to catch the Latina as she wobbled and her legs gave out on her and nausea hit.

"You need to stay still, S. You can't be worrying about anyone else but yourself right now!" Quinn put a firm hand on the girl's shoulder until she stopped trying to stand up.

"She needs us, Q."

"You are the only person I give a fuck about at the moment, S-"

"Please?" Santana caught hold of Quinn's hand and held it to her cheek, pressing a gentle kiss into her palm.

Quinn's eyebrows knit together and her heart clenched at the desperation in Santana's eyes. She pressed a kiss to the Latina's forehead. "Okay. But do not move and keep talking to Brittany or I will come right back over!"

Santana watched thankfully as the blonde straightened and strode over to the diva. Quinn grabbed Rachel's shoulders and spun her until they were face to face. She snapped her fingers in the girl's line of sight to get her attention.

"I need you to listen to me, Rachel. I need you to focus on my voice." Quinn didn't wait for a response from the diva. "You're having a panic attack right now. It's fucking terrifying, I know, but you can get through it. I just need you to do what I say."

Rachel managed to nod, still struggling to take more than gasps of air.

"I'm going to put your hand on my chest, and I'm going to put mine on yours."

Rachel's eyes widened a little when Quinn did just that.

"I want you to focus on my chest moving up and down under your hand as I breathe. I want you to focus on the feel of my hand - let it ground you."

For a long time there was no sound save Rachel's stuttery breathing and Quinn's deep and slow breaths as the girl's stared into each other's eyes. Santana and Brittany watched them cautiously, Brittany still holding the now bloody t-shirt firmly to the back of Santana's head. Finally, Rachel felt her heart rate slowing. Her lungs didn't feel like they were being squeezed by unseen hands anymore and she found she could match her breathing to Quinn's soon after.

"Better?"

Rachel nodded. She brought her free hand up to cover Quinn's that rested on her chest. "Thank you, Quinn."

Quinn swallowed thickly, her eyes flickering to their hands, Rachel's fingers curled around her own.

The sound of a siren getting closer broke the spell and Quinn pulled away. She turned without another word and headed down the hallway and outside to meet the ambulance. Rachel let out a long, deep breath. Her hand instinctively going to where she could still feel the warmth of the blonde's on her chest. She met Santana's questioning gaze and nodded gratefully.

* * *

"I don't give a flying fuck about hospital policy! She's my fucking girlfriend, my fucking family and I deserve to know what's going on!" Quinn lent over the nurses' station at the unfortunate soul currently manning it. "At the very least just let me know if she's fucking okay!"

Nurse Jack, a short man with a shock of red hair, was glancing desperately about him for help but all the other nurses had wisely decided to make themselves scarce. "M-Miss. Fabray, I know you're upset and you're worried but I don't actually know anything yet. She was sent down to X-Ray to-"

"A fucking hour ago!"

"I-I know, but these things can take time! We are a busy hospital so we-"

Quinn slammed her hands on the desk, fighting back the tears that threatened to overflow. She couldn't let that happen. Because once it started she didn't think she would be able to stop it and she needed to be strong. For Brittany, and for Santana. "Just-Just please page Doctor Lopez again. He should be here."

"Y-Yes, of course. I-I really am sorry," the nurse, for his part, did look as if he felt bad about the whole thing. He could see how scared the poor girl was underneath her anger and cursing.

Quinn turned away from the desk and stalked back over to where Brittany and Rachel sat at the far corner of the waiting room. "Fucking useless. Fucking bullshit rules. I'm as much her family as her useless father is, fucking more so!"

Brittany reached for Quinn and pulled her onto her lap. The dancer wrapped the seething girl up tight, one hand rubbing Quinn's back gently, soothingly until the girl let her head fall onto Brittany's shoulder. "It's okay, Quinn, you did your best. But San's where she needs to be, right?"

Quinn grumbled but nodded anyway.

"So we just have to trust that they know how to make her better, okay?"

"I know, Britt, but not knowing what's happening, not knowing if she's okay or not is fucking killing me. I feel like I'm going insane…" Quinn buried her face in Brittany's neck.

Brittany could only nod and make sure Quinn was safe and comfortable in her arms. That was especially important now more than ever because… because Santana wasn't safe in her arms anymore and there was nothing any of them could do about that. What Brittany could do was take care of the girls with her now. And yes, that included the silent diva sat opposite them.

"How you doing, Rach?" Brittany cocked her head at the diva.

"Don't worry about me right now, Brittany," Rachel's voice was a little hoarse and her smile strained. "Just look after Quinn." She stood and headed out of the waiting room, past the nurse's station and out of the doors towards the pick-up/drop-off zone.

She hadn't gotten more than a few feet from the hospital before she felt the bile rising in her throat; she ran to the nearest garbage can and threw up. Once her stomach was empty and the nausea had mostly passed, Rachel straightened up. She felt a hand on her back, rubbing circles, while another came into her field of vision and offered her a tissue to wipe her mouth. Her eyes followed the arm up until she met the familiar warm brown eyes of her father.

LeRoy had gotten wind of the situation when Dr. Lopez was paged. When the man didn't answer the second page, a nurse had come to find him and had run into LeRoy instead. He hadn't even known Rachel was involved until he had seen her rushing out of the waiting room on his way to speak to the Lopez girl's friends.

"D-Daddy…" Rachel sniffed, gulping heavily she hid her face away, safe in her father's arms. "It was all my fault. I messed everything up and now S-Santana's hurt and no one will tell us what's going on and Quinn's furious and Brittany's trying to be strong, but they're both so scared, daddy! So am I. I just want to know that she's okay, please?"

LeRoy's heart broke as he listened to his daughter tearfully and haltingly recount the awful incident at school. He couldn't bear to see her like this, and he didn't for one second believe any of this was her fault. She didn't shove Santana into that locker, Finn Hudson did. That giant of a boy did not know his own strength and now he had hurt someone. But as LeRoy stood there, letting the words tumble from Rachel as he held her, he started to suspect Rachel's feelings for the Lopez girl were something rather complex and possibly of the romantic variety. It finally dawned on him that his daughter's terrible mood after her Breadstix date last week could have something to do with Santana, and not some boy as he had initially suspected. He had no idea why it hadn't occurred to him that his own daughter might not be heterosexual. It seemed he was just as guilty of heteronormativity as the rest of the world. He was going to have to have a conversation with Hiram when he got home!

"Okay, sweetie, listen to me," LeRoy bent so he could look his daughter in the eye, dabbing at her tears with a tissue. "I'm going to head back inside and I'm going to find out what's happening in regards to Santana and then I will come back and find you and…"

"Brittany and Quinn."

"And Brittany and Quinn, and I will give you all an update. How does that sound?"

Rachel nodded, still sniffing a little, and proceeded to throw her arms around her father's shoulders and squeeze him tight. She pulled away a minute later with a mumbled 'thank you' and watched as LeRoy strode back into the hospital with purpose. She remained outside for a little while longer, putting herself back together and taking some deep calming breaths so she didn't freak out the girls waiting for her inside.

When she returned it was to the sight of Brittany singing softly to the girl in her arms, Quinn drifting off slowly; her breathing slow and even, her head tucked under Brittany's chin. Brittany smiled at her as Rachel sat back down opposite. The diva's heart ached at how soft the girls were, how much love she saw in Brittany, how much trust she saw in Quinn… these girls loved each other completely and unconditionally. Their relationship was more than just what the rest of the Glee Club had assumed. Most of the Glee kids had thought that Santana was just a player, that Quinn was just rebelling and that Brittany was just dumbly following them both. But they couldn't have been more wrong.

There was nothing dumb about Brittany, no rebelling from Quinn, and Santana was the furthest thing from some fuckboy player. All she could see was love, trust, respect, kindness… all the things Rachel knew made up a family, or should anyway. Their birth families had failed them, their peers at school did not understand them, most of the world still thought their love and their relationship unnatural – so these three girls had decided to make and define their own family instead.

Then in came Rachel, blindly stumbling about, stick her nose into things and getting herself involved where she did not belong. She had seen how protective the Latina was of Brittany and Quinn, and it had not escaped her notice that Santana had been looking out for her too. She should never have let it happen, should never have asked for Santana's help or gotten her involved – especially when she knew Finn was still so stuck in love with her and would not take no for an answer!

The diva sighed and slumped back in her seat, eyes closed. Brittany's voice was lovely and soothing; she could not make out the words to the song but it sounded familiar and made Rachel smile. It wasn't long before she too felt herself drifting off to sleep. She only wished it was in Santana's arms, or Brittany's, or even Quinn's…

* * *

**AN: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know there's a lotta angst and drama but needs must! Can't be any comfort without the hurt first =S**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Hello all, it's been a very long weekend for me, spent it dissociating and reading fanfiction cos I literally couldn't do anything else. I went back to work yesterday after three or so months off on sick leave so I was anxious as fuck! It didn't go too badly but I've been there three years now and I know not to trust management too much. Looks can be deceiving for sure. But I'm moving on next monday, and I dunno when I'll have internet once I move so I'll try and post the next chapter before then but no promises, I gotta work Saturday afternoon/evening and finish packing/wait in for my washing machine and fridge to be delivered at my new place on Sunday. **

**Thank you so much to everyone who has left a review, you guys are rocking my world and I appreciate you so much! I hope you're all still enjoying this story, I'm still writing, slowly but surely. And it's gone a little differently than I expected it to but I'll roll with it! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Content Warning: Medical talk happening in this chapter so if you need to skip or avoid altogether it's in the 3rd section of this chapter, also depictions of parental neglect.**

**Stay safe =)**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

LeRoy strode down the hospital hallways, his eyes darting from person to person as he went, searching for Doctor Lopez. He had already been to check on the man's daughter and got an update on her situation, which was that they were still running tests, but still no one had even seen nor heard a thing from him. When LeRoy had announced he was going to go and find her father, Santana had only sighed and wished him luck. It seemed she had not been expecting Doctor Lopez to make an appearance, and although she did not look upset LeRoy knew that if it had been Rachel in her position, he would want to know immediately.

"Have you seen Doctor Lopez recently?" LeRoy stopped at a Nurse's station in the Emergency room, where he knew the man had been working that morning.

"He's on rounds right now, Doctor Berry. Up on the fourth floor. Do you want me to page him for you?" the young nurse went to reach for the phone on the wall but LeRoy stopped her with a shake of his head.

"Thank you, Nurse Karn, but I don't think he's going to respond to a page. I mean, he hasn't been the last few hours," the last part LeRoy said under his breath as he turned and headed for the nearest elevator.

He scoured the fourth floor, going from ward to ward until he finally found Doctor Lopez sat at a patient's bedside as he talked them through their treatment options. Doctor Lopez spotted LeRoy stood in the doorway and raised one finger at him before going back to the patient. By the time he finally stood, shaking the patient's hand and gathering up his charts to leave, LeRoy was pacing impatiently – he was supposed to report to Rachel ages ago, the girls must be worried sick!

"Good evening, LeRoy, what can I do for you?"

LeRoy fell into step beside the other doctor. "Your daughter is in the hospital, Gabriel. Did you not get any of the pages?"

"Of course I got them and I called the doctor assigned to her to get an update an hour ago." Gabriel dropped his charts off at the nurse's station and made a beeline for the coffee machine.

"If you want to go and spend some time with her I am more than happy to cover the rest of your shift for you!" LeRoy insisted. "I'm off in half an hour, it's no bother!"

"Why would I need to see her? She is not in any imminent danger of death, and she already has a very capable doctor assigned to her case. There's nothing more I can do." Gabriel took a few measured sips of his coffee before picking up another handful of charts and heading back to his rounds.

LeRoy watched him go with a look of despair. He knew Gabriel Lopez had a reputation for being matter-of-fact and by-the-book but this was his daughter they were talking about! Surely he wasn't going to treat her like just another patient… when Gabriel did not look back, LeRoy spun on his heels and marched all the way down to the waiting room where his daughter and her friends were waiting, seething as he went. How could someone be so unfazed about their child being brought into the Emergency room by ambulance? He respected Doctor Lopez but he would never, and could never, understand the man.

He rounded the corner to the waiting room, nodding a greeting at the nurse on duty, and stopped dead as his eyes fell on the scene before him. The two blonde girls were sat at the far end of the room, one cradled in the other's arms, their heads resting on each other, fast asleep with Rachel curled up and tucked securely into their side. LeRoy's hand went to his heart and he couldn't help the soft gasp that fell from his lips. He approached them quietly, took off his white doctor's coat and carefully laid it across the three girls. It was getting late and Santana was still in the process of getting checked out properly so there would be no further news until later. LeRoy had instructed the doctor in charge to come and find him as soon as they knew more.

LeRoy fished his cell phone from his trouser pocket and dialled his husband, wandering out of earshot of the girls as it rang.

Hiram picked up, sounding chipper. "Hi darling, are you on your way home? And have you heard from Rachel yet? I know it's Friday so she probably stayed late after Glee-"

"Hiram, when I tell you what I'm about to tell you I need you to not freak out and let me finish, okay?"

"What's happened? Are you okay? Is it Rachel? Oh God, LeRoy, answer me!"

LeRoy chuckled quietly. "I am fine and so is Rachel. Okay?"

Hiram let out a shaky laugh. "Oh, thank God. Don't do that to me!"

"I mean, I did tell you not to freak out, love!"

"Yes, and you should know by now that those exact words will always make me freak out! Now are you going to tell me what's going on or did you just call to give me a heart attack?"

LeRoy smiled and turned back to look at the three sleeping girls in the waiting room. "I'm still at the hospital, Rachel's here with me. She came in with three of her friends from Glee Club, one of them was injured in a confrontation at school so she's being assessed at the moment. I'm going to wait with them. Because none of them are her blood relations or spouse, the hospital won't tell them anything so I'm going to be breaking a few rules and I wanted to get your thoughts."

Hiram uh-huh'd, processing quietly. "Rachel isn't hurt?"

"She's in perfect physical condition, I promise."

"Good. So who is the girl who got hurt?"

"Santana Lopez. She's Gabriel Lopez's daughter and although he's here working he doesn't seem particularly interested in being a father to her." LeRoy shook his head, frown lining his face.

"Are you serious?"

"I wish I wasn't, Hiram. But you should see these girls waiting for her. They are so scared and exhausted. I found Rachel throwing up outside and she just sobbed and sobbed, she feels so awful about the whole thing. I know she won't come home until she hears that Santana is going to be okay, and I just… I can't leave them either."

"Then you do whatever you need to, I will support you a hundred percent! Just tell me what I can do," Hiram was clattering about on the other end of the phone. "I know! I'll-I'll whip up some food and grab drinks and I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?"

LeRoy couldn't help the smile that slid onto his face. Hiram might be a tough, no-nonsense lawyer in the courtroom but he had the biggest heart of anyone LeRoy had ever met. "Okay. I'll see you when you get here. Drive safe."

* * *

When Rachel managed to finally pull herself free from an awful dream – Santana bleeding to death while she watched on helplessly - the first thing she saw was blonde hair. She blinked groggily and pulled back a little. Brittany sat cross legged beside her, munching happily on what looked like one of her dad's famous vegan croque monsieurs…

"Hi, Sweetheart, how are you feeling?" Someone sat down the other side of her and put an arm around her.

She shuffled until she could see LeRoy sat there, smiling kindly down at her. "Hi, daddy, is-is there any news? Is she okay?"

LeRoy shook his head. "No news yet I'm afraid. Are you hungry? Your dad brought food for everyone."

Rachel followed his eye line to see Hiram sat opposite them, magazine open on his lap, Quinn beside him, her eyes moving as she read an article. They both looked up at her. Hiram immediately stood and pulled Rachel into a hug, peppering her face and hair with kisses.

"Oh, my little girl, I was so worried when your father said you were here! But I'm so glad you're not hurt," He examined her carefully with sharp eyes and probing fingers until he was satisfied that she was, in fact, okay. Not that he didn't believe his husband, he just needed to be sure himself. "Right, I bet you're starving and dehydrated, so here," Hiram took a sealed plastic container and a bottle of water from his bag and handed them to the diva.

"Thank you, dad, but I just want to know how Santana is!"

"I know you do, Rach, we all do, but first you need to take care of yourself," LeRoy nudged the container in her hand until Rachel sighed and gave in.

"Is your dad a chef, Rach?" Brittany whispered, mouth full of food. "Because this is the best sandwich I've ever had and I spent most of seventh grade perfecting the PB&J with my dad!"

Rachel heard her fathers' chuckle.

"No, I am not a trained chef, Brittany, but I do enjoy cooking. And I appreciate the kind words," Hiram smiled, dipping his head a little at the blonde.

Brittany beamed back at him and took another huge bite out of the sandwich and continued chomping away contentedly. Rachel picked at her own food, her eyes fixed on Quinn. They hadn't spoken since Rachel's panic attack in school and although the girl had helped her then, she was certain it was only because Santana had asked her to. So what did that mean for them? Quinn's face, twisted into a snarl, anger burning white hot in her eyes, was imprinted in Rachel's mind. She had seen, what Glee Club had dubbed, Lion Quinn before. It had even been aimed at her once or twice, but never like that.

Rachel had never been so scared for her own life before. The look in Quinn's eyes had sent a shiver through her entire body and near enough froze her to the spot. She was yet to figure out if Quinn was capable of murder or not but, if it hadn't been for Brittany drawing the girl's attention back to Santana, she was almost certain she wouldn't have gotten out of that encounter with all her body parts intact. Quinn glanced over at her then as if she had heard Rachel's thoughts. Their eyes met, Quinn cocked an eyebrow at her, then stood mumbling something about taking a walk before heading for the exit. When she got to the end of the waiting room Quinn paused and glanced back at Rachel before disappearing. Rachel waited a few moments before excusing herself to the bathroom and followed Quinn on shaking legs.

It was late now and the sky had grown rather darker since their arrival at the hospital. Rachel wrapped her arms around herself as she spotted Quinn waiting for her on a stone bench opposite. She approached slowly, cautiously, stopping a few feet out of the blonde's reach.

Quinn laughed humourlessly. "I'm not going to hurt you, Rachel. You can sit down if you want."

Rachel hesitated, deciding for a moment, before finally sitting down a foot from the other girl. Silence stretched between them; their breath was just visible in the cool night air, the constant drone of activity in the hospital surrounding them like a comfort blanket.

Eventually Quinn sighed and turned to look at Rachel. "I was scared, Rachel. I'm still fucking terrified. And I'm angry. And I just want Santana to be okay. But none of that is an excuse for the way I treated you."

Rachel's mouth dropped open.

"I shouldn't have screamed at you like that and I definitely shouldn't have grabbed you." The sincerity in Quinn's voice was clear. "I'm sorry if I hurt you. Or if I caused your panic attack."

"You-You didn't cause it," Rachel managed to choke out once she had gotten over her shock of Quinn Fabray apologising to her.

Quinn nodded. "I'm glad." She watched Rachel with an even stare. "I appreciate you calling the ambulance, and I will be eternally grateful that you stayed calm enough to tell us what to do back at school. I also appreciate your fathers being here and doing what they can to help. I knew Santana's dad wouldn't."

Rachel frowned and went to ask her to explain the statement but Quinn wasn't finished.

"But if Santana isn't okay," Quinn's voice was low and dangerous, her eyes suddenly burning with that white hot rage again. "Or if you ever put her in harm's way again, I will make sure you finish high school with so many psychological scars no amount of therapy will ever fix you. Are we clear?"

Rachel swallowed, nodding quickly.

"That goes for Brittany too. You hurt any of my family again, unintentionally or not, and I will make you regret it."

The diva shuffled towards the blonde in spite of her instincts yelling at her to run. She met Quinn's eyes. "I don't know how to even begin to ask for your forgiveness, or explain how sorry I am that I hurt you, all of you. I… I care about you. And my feelings that night at Breadstix, when I realised I felt so strongly, they scared me. I thought if I just kept out of your way and tried to figure things out on my own then you wouldn't get hurt." Rachel shook her head angrily at herself, a frown marring her face as her eyes fell. "I was selfish. And now Santana's… all because of me."

"No."

The diva felt warm hands on her face. Quinn was looking at her with such conflict in her eyes, only a hint of anger remained now.

"Finn did this, not you. And even if you hadn't kissed Santana, she still would have done what she did, she still would have tried to help you. And not just because Britt asked her to either." Quinn smiled sadly. "Santana would rather die than watch someone she cares about be unhappy or get hurt. That's just one of the reasons I fell so hard for her."

Rachel covered Quinn's hands with her own. "She's going to be okay, Quinn. It's Santana. Of course she's going to be okay!" She wasn't quite sure who she was trying to reassure: Quinn or herself.

The blonde sat back then, her eyes falling to her lap and her shoulders slumping. "You don't know that. They're my world, Rachel. I-I can't do this without either one of them." Her sob ripped through the night air.

Before she knew what she was doing, Rachel had Quinn in her arms and held the girl as she cried. The blonde's fingers clawed at her, gripping her sweater so tight as she screamed a silent scream of pain. It was all Rachel could do not to break down herself; she felt Quinn's sobs wrack her entire body and heard the girl gasping the words 'please don't leave me' over and over again.

"I won't," Rachel mumbled into her hair, but she knew the girl wasn't talking to her.

* * *

"Doctor Berry?" An older lady in a white doctor's coat appeared through the door marked 'hospital staff only' and looked expectantly at LeRoy. She held a patient file in her hands.

"Yes, hi, sorry, I was dozing off," LeRoy stretched as he got to his feet, offering the woman his hand.

"I'm Doctor Carter. I took over Miss. Lopez's case when Doctor Taki finished his shift. He instructed me to come and find you here once we had news?" She shook the offered hand, peering at him uncertainly.

"Yes, yes. So what's the verdict?"

Doctor Carter hesitated. "This is highly irregular, Doctor Berry. You are not the girl's father, correct?"

LeRoy sighed and exchanged a glance with Hiram. "No. I am not. But her father isn't here. And it was my daughter and her friends who brought Santana- Miss. Lopez in. They have been waiting here all night to find out if she's okay. Please, you don't even have to hand me the file, you can just drop it and walk away!"

"I will do no such thing, Doctor Berry!" She humphed indignantly, tightening her grip on the file.

Brittany wandered up to the women and tugged gently on her sleeve, her big blue eyes gazing at her pleadingly. "Can you just tell me that San's okay? She's my girlfriend. I just need to know that she's alive." The blonde sniffed quietly, swiping at a tear that wound its way down her cheek. "They took her through those doors and I haven't seen her since. She's my family, please-"

"And we're her family! We should be with her!" Quinn reappeared and shot over to Brittany, Rachel at her heels.

They all started clamouring at her then and Doctor Carter could not stand the noise. She held up her hands for silence.

"Fine. Fine! I will pass on the information to my colleague, Doctor Berry, then he can do what so ever he sees fit with it. Is that satisfactory to you all?" She looked from the three girls to the two men stood behind them.

Everyone nodded frantically. The doctor pursed her lips and beckoned LeRoy with her until they stood just out of earshot. They spoke for a number of minutes while the others waited with baited breath, ears straining to try and hear what was being said. When the doctors finally parted, Carter vanishing back through the door she had come through without a word, LeRoy returned to them looking serious.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck…" Quinn's fingers dug into Brittany's forearm making the dancer wince and link their fingers together instead.

"Okay," LeRoy held his hands up to silence them. "The good news is that Santana is in no immediate danger, she should recover fully from the physical injuries she sustained and you'll be able to see her soon."

The three girls gave a collective exhale.

"Now, the bad news…" LeRoy saw the fear return in a flash, bodies tense again. "Santana has a rather bad cut on her right shoulder blade, it's been cleaned and stitched up but it's badly bruised too so she will require lots of rest to ensure it heals. She has bruising on her back and arms so she's going to be very sore. And the cut on her head wasn't too bad or all that deep. I know you said it bled a lot but that's unfortunately what head wounds do, no matter how bad they are. However," His eyes flickered uncertainly to his husband who nodded, knowing the bad news tone in LeRoy's voice all too well. "They are concerned about a concussion due to the force and speed of the impact, and the fact that Santana couldn't remember how it had happened and has thrown up a few times since being admitted. Now, before we all freak out," LeRoy looked pointedly at his daughter. "The doctors have done a CT scan of her head and found no bleeding in or swelling of the brain so have concluded that it is not serious and there is no need for surgery. So that is more good news."

LeRoy fell silent and observed the girls. Brittany frowned, a look of deep concentration on her pale face. Quinn had her eyes closed, trying to keep her breathing under control as she gripped Brittany's hand tight, murmuring under her breath. Rachel seemed to suddenly deflate and staggered to sit down, her face hidden in her hands.

"If you have any questions, or need anything don't hesitate to ask LeRoy or myself, okay?" Hiram sat by his daughter, rubbing her back.

"Can we see her now? Please?" Quinn turned to LeRoy.

"Of course. Follow me."

* * *

Santana was exhausted, in a lot of pain and irritable. She been poked and prodded and x-rayed and asked questions for hours, by various different people, and it had worn thin. She just wanted to see her girls and to go home with them. She didn't have much love for hospitals and avoided them whenever possible – especially the one she knew her father was currently working at.

The two of them did not have the greatest of relationships – he was a very stern and serious man, who did not have time for anything other than his work and saw Santana as an inconvenience more often than not. Santana was used to it by now, they had their little unspoken arrangement of staying out of each other's way and just getting on with their lives. Even so, it didn't stop her from feeling disappointed when he didn't even come down to check on her…

Santana sat back in her bed and crossed her legs, wincing when she shifted too quickly and jostled her shoulder. She had her right arm in a sling temporarily to give her some support, her head bandaged loosely and all sorts of wires and things sticking in and on her. They wouldn't give her too many drugs for the pain because of the concussion they said she had, so she was having to just deal. Last year's Santana would have torn a strip off every single nurse and doctor in the place and probably punched a wall by now, but current Santana didn't want to hurt anyone, or make things worse, so she was trying to find another way. She was not having any luck so far though.

Fortunately a knock at the door focused her attention elsewhere for a few precious moments. Doctor Berry stuck his head round the door and gave her a kind smile when their eyes met. She had never met the man before today; he had turned up at her bedside not long after she'd arrived in the hospital, and already he had shown her more affection and kindness than her own father ever had. A thought that made her lip curl.

"I have some visitors here for you, if you're up for it?"

Santana's face lit up. "Fuck yeah, I am!"

The man smiled and opened the door wide to reveal three very anxious girls stood beside him. Santana's heart soared at the sight of them. Quinn and Brittany shot in, Quinn restraining the taller blonde who had been about to throw herself at her injured girlfriend. The Latina didn't care, she wrapped her good arm around Brittany, her hand finding and gripping Quinn's shoulder and held them both tight against her. Finally Santana felt like she could breathe again and tears started to spill down her cheeks. She could feel the blondes shaking with their own sobs so she held them even tighter, murmuring soft reassurances to them that she was okay and they were together again now.

Rachel still stood in the doorway by her father, her eyes glued to Santana taking in the girl's injuries. Her heart near enough broke when she heard the three girls crying, talking so quietly to each other. She turned to leave.

"Hey, where d'ya think you're going?"

She turned back to find Santana's dark eyes on her. Rachel could only shake her head at the girl.

"Come here? Please?" Santana's voice was strained and tired but there was a tinge of desperation to it that made Rachel's feet carry her over to the girl's bedside.

Quinn and Brittany stepped out of the way, Brittany going round to sit on the other side of Santana and Quinn perching on the bed by her feet. Rachel stood, anxiously fidgeting with the hem of her sweater, her eyes on her feet.

"Rach?"

A gentle hand stilled her nervous fingers and pulled her nearer until she had no choice but to look at the girl. She found no malice or anger in Santana's eyes – only warmth and, understandably, pain.

"I'm really glad you're here, Rachel."

"You-You are?"

"Of course I am," Santana squeezed the diva's hand reassuringly. Her face darkened then. "You're okay, right?"

Rachel frowned.

"Finn- He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"N-No, he didn't touch me. I promise." Rachel shuffled closer, wrapping her other hand around Santana's.

Santana let out a breath and nodded. "Good. I-I can't really remember much but I just had a horrible feeling that he'd hurt you."

Rachel felt the tears pricking at her eyes. She lifted Santana's hand to her mouth and pressed a kiss to it. "He did… when he hurt you."

"Rach-"

"I'm so sorry, Santana! This is all my fault…" Rachel's voice cracked and she turned, running from the room.

"No, Rachel, please don't-" Santana tried to follow, half way out of bed before the dizziness and nausea hit her and she fell forward into Quinn's waiting arms.

* * *

Doctor Carter had deemed it necessary for Santana to stay in hospital for the night for observation. She had tried to declare visiting hours were over and that everyone else had to go home, but that did not happen. LeRoy managed to convince the woman to at least let the girls stay, stating that they would remain in Santana's room and would be no bother at all. Doctor Carter had been skeptical but had given in almost instantly when they had all started talking at her again.

Quinn and Brittany had passed out almost immediately; the taller blonde tucked into Santana's bed beside her while the shorter blonde curled up between her feet, one hand on the brunette's leg at all times. Santana had resisted sleep in hopes that Rachel would come back but it had been over an hour and her pain meds were kicking it, so sleep was imminent.

The door to the room opened just as Santana was starting to slip into unconsciousness. She managed to blink the exhaustion back and focus in on the blurry figure that had slipped in and closed the door silently behind them.

"Rach?"

The figure froze.

"Come sit, please?" Santana reached out to tap the large comfy chair beside her bed.

After a moment of thought and an expectant silence, Rachel sighed and went to sit by Santana. "Look, I only came to drop Quinn and Brittany's bags off, they left them in the waiting room."

"You're not staying?"

"I-I don't think that's a good idea, Santana." The diva could not bear to look at the Latina – every time she saw the bandages, the sling, the pain in the girls face she wanted to cry and her self-loathing doubled.

"Why not?"

Rachel frowned and met Santana's eyes finally. She found only curiosity in them. "Because… Because I'm the reason you're in hospital right now."

"So? I mean," Santana shrugged. "Technically Finn and his gorilla strength is. And to be honest, I'm more to blame in all this than you are."

"What?"

"Quinn warned me what would happen if I pissed Finn of, and I know how petty he can be. But I didn't listen. I couldn't stand to see him treating you like you were his property or something. Always assuming you'd just come running back to him 'cuz he thinks he's hot shit and you're nothing," Santana leant towards Rachel, fire in her eyes. "You deserve so much more, Rachel. You deserve someone who gives a damn about you, who sees how fucking talented and beautiful you are, who doesn't want to just own you and expects you to just be waiting around until he has time for you again."

Rachel dashed away her tears. "And you deserve someone who isn't going to get you hurt by her jealous ex-boyfriend. You deserve someone who isn't going to kiss you then run away and hide, someone who can make your life brighter and better and happier… and right now, Santana? I'm not that someone."

Santana laughed, but quickly stopped, wincing as a shard of pain ricocheted through her body. "You think I give a fuck about any of that, Rachel? Do you think I would have gone after Finn if I wasn't willing to take a few hits? Do you think I wasn't terrified the first time Brittany and I kissed? I actually fell out of her bedroom window I was trying to get out of there so fast!"

Rachel smiled weakly.

"Do you think I don't struggle every fucking day, and fuck up, and hurt the people I love sometimes? Did you see me last year? I was a fucking mess and so angry all the time! All I did was hurt people and be a bitch because it was easier than facing the truth, it was easier than actually trying to understand why." Santana sighed. She sat back in bed, her body aching and feeling completely exhausted all of a sudden.

"Santana?" Worry coloured the diva's voice.

The Latina was quieter now, slumped in bed, her eyes barely open. "I'm not saying it's gonna be simple or quick. 'Cuz it's not. But it is a little easier when you have people in your corner, when you have people who get what you're going through." Santana fought to stay awake. "You don't ever have to do anythin' you don't want, an' I swear we will always look out for you. But I think we have somethin', Rach, an' I think you feel it too…" Santana trailed off, unconsciousness taking her finally after resisting it for so long.

Rachel watched Santana sleep; taking note of the girl's even breathing and the disappearance of the pain that had been etched on her face. The girl's words had been like a punch to her gut and a wake up slap to the face at the same time. Rachel had been so focused on not being who she had become last year, so focused on looking behind her that she had just been stumbling around blindly and hadn't seen any of this coming. That's why her feelings had taken her by surprise, that's why she had been so set on doing everything on her own…

The diva stood and tucked the covers around Santana and Brittany. She found the spare blankets a nurse had brought earlier and draped one carefully across Quinn's sleeping form. Rachel stood by the bed for a long while, debating. She longed to go home and hide and never leave her house again. But that was her fear and her selfishness talking. What she really wanted, what she was still kind of afraid to admit to herself, was to be curled up on that bed with them - in between Brittany's feet, Quinn warm at her side, her hand on Santana's leg too. She wanted that so much it hurt.

Rachel shook her head angrily. She felt like a fool. Instead of actually trying to figure out who she was, the diva had just been running away from who she didn't want to be… running blindly and aimlessly, and now she had tripped someone else up too. Someone who had worked so damn hard to come as far as she had… someone who cared and had been trying to look out for Rachel, even when Rachel hadn't felt worthy of kindness and love… Her insecurities ate at her insides, twisting the good into bad and making her afraid to go for the things she wanted most. She hadn't been afraid last year. She had been a bull in a china shop and gone about it all wrong.

Brittany mumbled Santana's name in her sleep then. It made Rachel's heart ache. What was she so afraid of? Or was it that she just didn't understand yet? If that was the case the only way for her to get past it was to actually spend time with these girls, get to know them and let herself be open with them in return! She wouldn't figure anything out on the run. With that thought in mind, Rachel dragged the chair she had been sat in as close to the bed as she could. She grabbed the other blanket and, getting as comfortable as possible in the chair, she threw it over herself, tucking it in tight. She hesitated a moment but pushed through her doubt and slipped her hand in Santana's good one.

Sleep came swiftly. So by the time LeRoy and Hiram came looking, wondering where their desperate-to-get-home daughter had vanished to, Rachel was dead to the world and the men did not have the heart to wake her. Especially when she looked so peaceful and so happy there with the girls, hand in hand with Santana.

* * *

**AN: Let me know what you guys thought, I always love to hear from you =)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: As promised, here is the next chapter before my internet goes off tomorrow and the last chapter until my internet is turned on in my new house on Friday *sigh * I am stressed to fuck right now, I'm almost certain my car is gonna crap out on me before I manage to move/get it to the garage next week, and work is just the same shit on a different day. Nothing gets better there and it's depressing as fuck. **

**But anywho, I'm working very hard on this story for all you lovely people, about half way done with chapter ten already! Thank you so very much to the incredibly awesome folks who have reviewed and shared their thoughts and feelings with me, it means a lot and I appreciate you all!**

**Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except a great deal of student loan debt *sigh ***

* * *

**Content Warning: brief medical talk happening in the last section of this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

Santana had not been this exhausted or in this much pain since her first month of Cheerios practices. Well, actually, not since Coach Sylvester discovered she could have the Cheerios airdropped into a jungle to survive for a week and get away with it by telling Figgins it was a field trip. Thankfully she had been partnered with Brittany otherwise she would have gone completely insane and would not have thought twice about tying a teammate to a tree as bait.

The doctor had discharged her Saturday afternoon after spending the day poking and prodding her again. They had given her an armful of pamphlets and so many instructions and dos and don'ts that her head hurt even worse by the end of it and she had to lie down until everything stopped spinning. Fortunately Quinn and Rachel were there to take extensive notes and Doctor Berry translated the medical speak for her. Although her father was a doctor too she had never particularly been allowed within his work life and he cared not if she followed in his footsteps so hadn't made any effort to even speak to her on the subject.

Santana had been instructed to rest for the next week, give her body time to start to heal. She consented for the first few days, too exhausted to even argue. But by Friday, she was bored out of her mind and practically climbing the walls she was so restless. Yes, her body still hurt and the only reason she had slept at all was because of the powerful painkillers the doctors had prescribed that knocked her out. But, to be honest, she missed her girls when they were at school, and her anxiety was through the roof letting them go back there without her. Especially knowing that Finn still probably hadn't gotten the message about staying away from Rachel!

Santana had woken up Friday morning feeling a little better and was determined to go back to school. It had taken a great deal of persuading and bargaining for the three girls to convince Santana to stay at home and rest, at least for the first few days. But here they were, having the same fight once again, only this time Santana was up for the fight and even Brittany's offers of all the sweet lady kisses she wanted wasn't enough to convince her to stay home. Quinn had unleashed Lion Quinn and refused to even hear the Latina's excuses and reasons, but then the blonde played dirty and set Rachel on her.

"If you don't take the time to heal properly then it will take that much longer and there's a chance you could not only end up missing Regionals, but you could land yourself back in hospital too," Rachel perched on the side of her bed as Santana sulked.

Quinn had called the diva when they had run out of options and were about to turn to brute force. Rachel had turned up only minutes later, having already been on her way to school with her fathers, and had immediately calmed the Latina down.

"I fucking know, okay? Believe me! I just…" Santana's frown deepened and her entire body tensed. "I should be there with you. I should be looking out for you, all of you. I know you said he hasn't shown his face at school but we won't be that lucky forever! What if something happens? What if the douchebag tries something today? What if-"

Rachel clamped her hand over Santana's mouth. The Latina's eyes widened and her eyebrows shot up at the boldness of the diva, who was sat there looking at her with a soft smirk.

"I never thought I'd be the one saying this but… you talk too much, Santana."

Quinn choked back a laugh and Brittany giggled at Santana's expression.

"Now, I'm going to take my hand back and then I want you to listen, yes?"

Santana rolled her eyes but gave a small nod. Rachel did as she said she would and took Santana's hand instead.

"I know you're anxious, I know you feel helpless and I know you feel like you are letting the people you care about down by not being there every day. You're used to being the person with all the answers, the protector, but what they need most from you," Rachel glanced over her shoulder at the two blondes stood watching; Brittany fidgeting with her school bag unable to keep still, and Quinn stood to attention, her arms folded, her hazel eyes flitting between the two girls on the bed. "Is for you to look after yourself and heal properly so they don't lose you."

Santana glanced at the blondes and guilt ate at her as she noted their own anxiety and worry. She had been so focused on trying to keep them safe that she hadn't realised she'd been doing even more damage.

Santana sighed. "Fuck. You're right, I know you are." She addressed Quinn and Brittany then. "I'm sorry. I haven't been thinking straight and I haven't been considering you guys the way I should have. Everything just… hurts and I wanna be out of this shitty house already. But I love you and I will never stop worrying or caring about you, or trying to look after you. You're my family."

Quinn crouched beside Rachel, her hand finding Santana's too and holding tight so Rachel could not remove her own hand. "Family look after each other, isn't that what you always say? So it's about time you started taking your own words to heart and letting us look after you too, dumbass!"

Santana chuckled but before she could respond, Brittany leapt onto the bed and added her own hand to the pile.

"You do everything for us, San. You take notes for me when I fall asleep in class, you calm Quinn down when she gets mad at everything, you fought a giant for Rachel and you always try and make our world a fun and kind place when we're together. I know you do it because you love us so let us do this because we love you. Okay?" Brittany knew Santana couldn't say no to her, especially when she combined her pout with her big blue eyes.

"Urgh Britt, you know that's not fair! Logic and my own damn words being thrown back at me was one thing, but when you look at me like that too? That's just cruel. But fine!" Santana sat back in her bed and kicked off her boots. "I'll stay in bed and rest, but I want you all to text me when you're at school safely and stay as far away from King Kong as possible if he does show his face today, okay?"

The three girls gave a chorus of 'yes, Santana' as they got to their feet and made to leave.

"No, I mean it, Q." Santana grabbed Quinn's arm and dragged her back. "You stay the fuck away from him. And you keep Rachel far away from him too. Hurting me is one thing, I don't give a fuck about me, but if he so much as lays a finger on any of you I will kill him with my bare hands."

Quinn met the girl's deadly serious gaze with one of own, cupping Santana's face with her hands. "I know, S. And as much as I want to make him hurt for what he's done to you, I need you to stay out of prison and in my life even more." She pressed their foreheads together gently, breathing in Santana and letting out a long shaky breath.

Santana's eyes slid closed as Quinn kissed her; her lips barely a whisper at first and then needy, desperate. Santana's hands wrapped around the back of her neck and held them together, as desperate for the embrace as the blonde was. They poured their pain, their worry, their anger into the kiss until it turned gentle again and they parted with soft smiles and lingering fingers, hands not wanting to let go of each other. Quinn was quite certain that if Santana had not been so badly injured she would have climbed into bed with her and given herself entirely to the girl then and there.

A thought that no longer scared the shit out of her as it had done before. There were always going to be things in this world, in her life that she had no control over. That still terrified her but she knew that she could handle it with her family by her side. The thought of losing Santana had put a great deal into perspective for Quinn and she didn't want to keep her or Brittany at arm's length any more. She was done cowering, and being angry, and screaming into the void - it was time she stepped up to be the person her family needed her to be: herself.

Brittany bounded over to press a kiss to Santana's lips next, smiling into it as she tasted Quinn's chapstick mixed with Santana's familiar taste. "Can I stay home with you, San? My teachers wouldn't mind. I don't want you to be alone and worrying all day again."

"I know, Britt, and I appreciate that. But I need you to do something for me, okay?"

Brittany nodded eagerly, edging closer to Santana.

Santana had a bad feeling about today, she couldn't quite put her finger on it but… she needed the girls to be on their guard today just in case. "I need you to look after Q and Rach today. You gotta keep them outta trouble and be their back-up," She glanced conspiratorially over at the two girl's by the door, which made Brittany glance over too. "You gotta be my eyes and my ears today. You're the only person I can trust with this, so you gotta go to class and focus and eat lunch with them and look after them in Glee. Can you do that?"

Brittany put one hand over her heart and stuck the pinkie of her other hand out for Santana to link her own with. "I swear on Lord and Lady Tubbington that I will not let you down!"

Santana squeezed her girlfriend's pinkie, smiling at how beautiful the girl looked right then with such a serious expression on her face. "I love you, Britt. You make my world better just by being you, you know that?"

"Of course I know that, San. 'Cuz you do the same for me," Brittany cupped Santana's chin and gazed into her eyes. "I love you too." The blonde whispered against her lips.

Brittany somehow always managed to light Santana's whole body and soul on fire with just a few words, with a look, with a touch… She was magical, unpredictable, an unstoppable force and Santana couldn't fathom how she had gotten so lucky to have Brittany in her life. The dancer saw her, all of her, and never stopped reminding her of all the good and love she saw inside Santana. Even when Santana could see nothing but darkness and anger.

"Come on, Britt, if we don't leave now we're gonna be late," Quinn grabbed their bags and tugged Brittany off the bed and out the bedroom door before they really got their mack on. She'd never have been able to drag Brittany away then!

"Rach?"

Rachel had one foot out the door when Santana had called her back. She hesitated but moved to sit by Santana again. She had been trying to give the family of three a little space the last few days, to look after themselves and heal. But she had missed them something fierce, Santana especially since Brittany and Quinn stuck to her like glue at school so she had no choice but to see them. It wasn't the same though. It felt like an obligation, on Santana's orders or something. They had invited her over a few times, well, Brittany had. Quinn was still a little withdrawn and cautious around her. Not that Rachel blamed the girl. Quinn was doing what she thought was best and protecting not only her family, but herself too. Rachel had declined but made sure to call the Latina every day to check up on her progress and… and just to hear her voice, really.

Now here she was, alone and face to face with the girl she had been thinking about non-stop for weeks… She so badly wanted to reach out and touch her again. Wanted to kiss her, feel Santana move under her, feel her breath on her skin… God, what was she doing?! Rachel mentally shook herself and finally met the Latina's eyes.

"Thank you."

"I… didn't do anything."

"Yes," Santana found her hand and squeezed. "You did. I'm stubborn and I don't always see the things that are right in front of me. Sometimes I need someone to throw logic at me and take the time to lay the harsh truth out there. I think Britt and Q are too scared to even think about it, not that I blame them. I should probably be more scared for myself, but all I care about is them… and you, Rachel. I need you all to be okay. Now more than ever because I can't be there."

Rachel blushed, dipping her head to try and hide it.

"I know we're not… anything, but can you do me a favour, Rach?" Santana chucked the diva under the chin, sharing a smile when their eyes met again. "I'm sure you already have been but… can you look after my family?"

Rachel's mouth fell open and she just about managed to nod.

"I need that determined, stubborn, ruthless diva back, for a little while at least. She might not be who you want to be anymore, but she was pretty badass and could give as good as she got. Which is what we need right now. I know it's selfish of me to ask, Rachel," Santana's brow furrowed. "I know you're struggling to figure your own shit out. I just… I need you."

Rachel's heart skipped a beat. She had never thought she would hear those words from anyone, let alone Santana. The Latina's dark eyes mesmerised her, holding her captive in her power while she waited for an answer. But Rachel could barely thinking of anything other than how badly she wanted to kiss the lips those words had come from. So she did.

Santana's eyebrows shot up as Rachel closed the gap between them and pressed their lips together. She expected the diva to pull away almost immediately but the girl kissed her again, and again, until she felt a tingle run down her spine. It was gentle and slow, Rachel was scared of hurting Santana, yet she could not help herself and pushed herself closer. Santana, lost in the moment, grabbed a fistful of Rachel's shirt and pulled her on top of her until Rachel was sitting in her lap.

"Fuck, I've missed you, Rach," Santana mumbled against the diva's lips, her hands landing on the smaller girl's hips and pulling her as close as she could. It still wasn't close enough for either of them - the Latina groaned softly when she felt Rachel move to straddle her, a knee either side of her, and wrap her arms around Santana's neck.

There was a loud honking from outside then. Rachel whimpered against Santana's lips, tensing up.

"I think you gotta go, Rach." Santana made no move to break the kiss though, burying her fingers in Rachel's hair and swiping her tongue along the diva's bottom lip.

"Yes, I probably should…" Rachel muttered into the Latina's mouth. Her fingers snuck under the collar of Santana's t-shirt to trail up the back of her neck and tangle in her hair. She enjoyed the shiver that went through the girl and the soft moan that slipped from her mouth.

The honking came again. Rachel sighed and broke the kiss to glance out the window. She turned back to Santana, the girl's eyes darker than ever, her lips a little swollen and her chest rising and falling noticeably, catching Rachel's wandering eyes. If there was ever a time she wanted to be a rebel and skip school, it was definitely then. But she saw the bandages on the girl again and remember why she had to go. Rachel untangled herself carefully from Santana and got off the bed.

"I'll look after them. You have my word, Santana." With that, Rachel turned and left, hurrying downstairs and out to her impatient fathers and the two blondes in the car.

* * *

Santana was dozing in bed, her TV on low, an episode of Friends playing. It was lunch time and she had worked herself up so much that morning that she barely had the energy to worry anymore. Didn't stop anxiety clammering at her though and keeping her from actual restful sleep. A car door slammed outside her window making her eyelids flicker. There came a knock and murmured conversation then footsteps approached Santana's bedroom.

The soft knock at her door did nothing to rouse her so it came again, louder now. Maribel Lopez stuck her head around the door.

"There's a Doctor Berry here to see you, Santana! Come on, wake up!" She threw the door open, jerking Santana awake.

The girl's eyes went wide and panic gripped her chest. The sudden tension had jarred her shoulder and pain flooded her senses again, telling her she was well overdue her next dose of painkillers. She growled at her mother's usual placidity and lack of concern for her.

LeRoy stood in the doorway behind Maribel, a look of horror on his face as Santana's mother, seeing her daughter awake now, turned to him with a smile and informed him she was going out and to lock up behind him. He watched the woman go before turning back to find the girl stretching for her meds on her night stand.

"Here." LeRory placed his bag by her bed and handed Santana her medication. He stayed silent as she rummaged through it all for a moment before getting frustrated and upending it in her lap so she could see what she was looking for.

"Fuck's sake…" Santana muttered. Her eyes lit up as she found the correct pills, popped the right dose out and swallowed them with a mouthful of water. "I need to set alarms or some shit. Usually Britt or Q reminds me but, well, they ain't here and I always fucking forget." She sat back against her pillows, dark, tired eyes on LeRoy now. "What's up, Doc?"

LeRoy couldn't help his chuckle. He moved to fetch the chair in the corner of the room piled high with Quinn's clothes – he carefully set the clothes on the floor before bring the chair to Santana's bedside and sitting himself in it. "How are you, Santana? I'm sorry I haven't been able to come by sooner, I had assumed your father would be looking after you…" He trailed off awkwardly.

"Yeah, no. That'd never happen. But I'm y'know, pissed off, anxious, irritable, fucking exhausted… the usual." She shrugged. "I didn't know house calls were in your job description, Doctor Berry." Santana scrutinized him.

LeRoy smiled gently and opened his bag to bring out his stethoscope and a box of sterilized, one-use gloves. "They usually aren't, but I always go where I am needed. So… may I?"

Santana rolled her eyes but sat up so he could reach her easier. "Sure, knock yourself out, Doc."

LeRoy, clad in gloves and stethoscope in place, stood and started his examination. He removed the bandage on her head, checked to see how it was healing before redressing it. He did the same for the wound on her shoulder, pressing firmly but carefully with his fingers along her shoulder blade to ensure nothing was out of place. He listened to her heart and lungs, took her temperature, blood pressure, heart rate, checked her reflexes and finally her eyes – nodding to himself as her pupil dilation and response seemed normal now.

"What's the verdict, Doc? Will I ever play the piano again?" Santana smirked at him as LeRoy put his things away and sat back down.

"There does not appear to be any infection in the wounds, which is excellent! Ensure you keep everything clean and dry, and get the dressing changed every day or so, okay?" LeRoy crossed his legs and folded his hands on his knee. "You seem coherent and bright, any more vomiting or memory loss this week?"

Santana shook her head.

"Nausea? Dizziness? Mood swings? Headaches?"

"No. A little still, when I move too fast. I'm a hormonal teenage girl, what do you think? And fucking duh!" Santana gestured to the bandage on her head.

LeRoy nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, you make a good point. Well if anything does get worse or the headaches don't start lessening after the weekend, please let myself or another doctor know because you may need further scans to check from something more serious, okay?" He took a card from his shirt pocket and placed it on her nightstand. "Just in case." He tapped the card and sat back.

They stared at each other for a few moments. LeRoy scrutinizing Santana, and Santana scrutinizing LeRoy right on back

"Whatever you wanna say, just go for it. I won't lie to you, Doctor Berry. You've been kind and you're still looking out for me. And Quinn told me what you and your husband did for her and Britt that night. I can't thank you enough for that. But I can have an honest conversation with you…" Santana held the man's serious gaze. "If that's what you want?"

LeRoy remained silent for a second more before he nodded and sat up straighter. "Have you thought about what you wish to do about Mr. Hudson yet? He assaulted you. There need to be consequences, so he understands what he did was wrong and dangerous. I know," the man held up a hand, his eyes softening. "You cannot remember much of it and that getting the police involved will be a long, difficult process that will most likely not work out in your favour. You are young, Latina, female and queer. The world will not be kind to you. But I suspect you already know that. So if you do wish to press charges then myself and Hiram will do whatever we can to support you. We have already spoken about it and Hiram has a lot of experience in this field."

Santana's eyebrows shot up. This was not what she had expected when the man had walked into her room. She had expected to get grilled about Rachel…

"However, if that is not something you wish, then we would be more than happy to help you speak to your Principal, the school board, Mr. Hudson and his family, whoever you wish to speak to and however you wish to deal with this. My opinion is that he needs to understand that his actions have consequences." LeRoy lent towards Santana, his hand finding hers and squeezing for just a moment. "But the choice is entirely yours. We will not push and we will not question your decision. We only wish to support you."

Santana's heart clenched so painfully as the man sat back, his kind smile reaching all the way to his eyes. She was lost for words. Santana trusted very few people in her life, five people in fact. And only two of those were adults: Brittany's mom and dad. Not even Mr. Schue made her list, the man had a bad habit of letting them down and treating them like children, being dismissive of the Glee kids whenever it suited him not to listen to them. So to have this man, the father of a girl she still barely knew, turn up at her bedside twice now and go out of his way to look after her and treat her like a human being instead of just a whiney child with a boo-boo was… it blew her mind.

"My apologies, Santana, I know that was a lot to ask of you and a great deal of information when you are still recovering!" LeRoy started to get to his feet, reaching for his bag. "I will take my leave and give you time to-"

"Wait!" Santana moved to stop him, her hand catching his bag before he could grab it and leave. "I mean… thank you. For all that… touchy-feely crap." She cleared her throat awkwardly, trying to shift the lump that had settled there.

"Well you are very welcome for all the… crap," LeRoy's eyes twinkled as he sat back down. "But to tell you the truth, Santana, this isn't purely out of the kindness of my heart."

There it is. Santana sighed, scowling, and sat back in her bed, arms crossed defensively, protectively. It's never fucking simple or easy. Everyone wants something.

"I know you got hurt trying to keep my little girl safe. Rachel told me Finn hadn't been taking 'no' for an answer and you tried to step in." LeRoy glanced down at his hands, a deep frown lining his face. "I cannot bear to think what could have happened if…" The man shook the black and terrible thoughts from his head and looked back at Santana with certainty in his eyes. "I- we want to help you because you were there for Rachel when Hiram and I couldn't be."

Santana could barely comprehend what she was hearing. LeRoy Berry had proved her assumptions wrong and kept on proving her wrong. He was genuine and generous and kind. Much like his daughter, so she really should have seen this coming. Then again she hoped she was nothing like her parents so she decided to see the Berry family as three anomalies that had found each other, fated to be together because of their innate ability to love. She smiled. The similarity between her family and Rachel's started to dawn on her and it made her heart happy. The diva had love and protection and support at home. The Unholy Trinity could handle the rest if only Rachel would let them in…

The girl cleared her throat a little awkwardly, trying not to sound as choked up as she was. "Rachel's pretty badass, she coulda handled it, Doctor Berry. We were just there as back up."

LeRoy beamed. "She really rather is, isn't she? Even so," he held Santana's gaze. "I am glad she has you and Brittany and Quinn on her side. You are all very strong, very loving people. So if any of you ever need anything, you have my number. Use it." The man stood, put the chair back where it came from, placed the pile of clothes carefully back too, and grabbed his bag. "If it is acceptable to you, I will return tomorrow about the same time?"

Santana shrugged. "You don't gotta, Doc, but I appreciate it. If Q knows I've got my very own Doctor on-call she might finally take that stick out of her ass and stop worrying so much!"

LeRoy laughed. "In that case, let her know that I will be back every day until you are at 100% again!"

"Sure thing, Doc. Uh…" Santana hesitated. She wasn't used to anyone but her girls giving a damn about her. And she especially wasn't used to having a parental type person care! Never mind that the Doctor was going out of his way for her when he surely had better things to be doing, she knew how busy the hospital kept her own father so this was… Doctor Berry was…

"Santana?" LeRoy moved to sit on the edge of her bed, concern colouring his voice when he saw the girl's eyes glaze over with tears.

The girl dashed the wetness away and affixed a smile to her face. "I just wanted to say thank you. And that you don't have to do any of this. Rachel's our friend. We look after our friends so I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

LeRoy nodded slowly, his eyes taking in the girl and, not for the first time, wondering how Santana was even related to Gabriel because the pair were nothing alike. They had the same nose and same dark, intense eyes but where Gabriel was hardened and all business, unwavering in his matter-of-fact attitude towards everything (which made him a phenomenal doctor but left much to be desired socially and parentally), his daughter was full of so much love and she was so willing to share it but the world had already hurt her and made her wary so she hid it. She hid herself and threw herself at danger recklessly to protect other people. Even people she barely knew, like his own daughter.

"You are a hell of a person, Santana Lopez. I shall see you tomorrow." With that, LeRoy stood and strode out of the room, leaving a bemused Santana sat listening to the front door shut and the man's car start before she caught sight of it out of her window disappearing down the road.

Santana's cell phone chimed with an incoming text. She stretched carefully to grab it and opened the message. It was from Quinn and contained only four words but that was more than enough to stop her heart.

_I fucked up, S._

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the cliffhanger DX I promise to post next weekend once my internet is on, you have my word! I hope you are still enjoying the story, please feel free to let me know what you thought =)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: I HAVE INTERNET AGAIN! I've been going a little stir crazy without it, but on the bright side it gave me time to write without too many distractions so I'm half way through chapter eleven for you all now =) **

**I'm all moved into my new place, done about 90% of the cleaning at my old place so gonna finish it next week, and my living room is fulla boxes so my next few weeks are gonna be me glaring at them as I trip over them but just not having the energy or will power to unpack yet. Plus I fucked up my knees again, thanks to the move, to going back to work and to all the cleaning *sigh* but both my fur babies seem to be settling in well! There was some growling and hissing the first few days but now they are just roaming and exploring and cos it's a new place still they both come snuggle me at night XD**

**Thank you to all of you lovely and awesome people who have left me reviews this last week! They made me want to work extra hard on the story so I have lots to post! Plus they just make me happy and I need that cos it's been a long, tiring and shitty few weeks. You're all the best.**

**Much love, **

**Maxx**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the moronic brain in my head that thought it was smart to go driving the day after I moved when my entire body hurt and accidentally scraped and dinted one side of my car cos I took the corner down to my new house a little too sharply *sigh***

* * *

**Content Warning: this chapter (in the third scene) contains scenes of assault, specifically of a sexual/physical nature. And brief depiction of mental health issues. Please look after yourselves and be safe.**

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**Chapter Eight**

Quinn, Rachel and Brittany stood in the parking lot. None of them had moved or said a word since Rachel's fathers had dropped them off ten minutes ago. They had seen Finn's mom's car leaving as they had arrived so they knew he was here today… The parking lot had filled up around them, cars and buses and people everywhere. No one really paid them any attention; everyone far too busy with their own lives and doing what they had to do before the bell went. Brittany fidgeted with her shirt, fingers never stilling until Quinn slipped her own hand into the dancer's. Rachel was trying to focus on her breathing – Santana had put her trust in her and she would be damned if she was going to let her down!

A few minutes later the bell did finally ring and seemed to snap the three out of it. Quinn let out a loud sigh and gently tugged Brittany with her up the steps towards the door. The taller blonde caught Rachel by the arm and pulled her with them. The hallway was packed as everyone did the usual last minute dash to and from lockers and classrooms, calling out to friends as they parted until next period.

"What do you have first, Rach?" Brittany tried her best to be cheery and nonchalant, but her eyes darted about the hallway and her grip tightened on the girls either side of her.

"English Lit. How about you?" Rachel let the blondes pull her along to their lockers.

"Quinn and I have World History. But we'll walk you to English first, okay?" Brittany asked almost hesitantly.

Rachel smiled up at the dancer and squeezed her arm. "I would really appreciate that, Brittany, thank you." She hadn't expected anything else, as the girls had been doing it all week. But today… she wasn't sure she would willingly go to class if they weren't walking her.

As they walked through the almost deserted hallways towards Rachel's first class, Quinn tensed and pulled them to a halt. She looked at Rachel with hard eyes, making the brunette do her impression of a deer in headlights.

"Isn't he in your English Lit. class?" Quinn's rage was barely contained as she spat out the pronoun.

Rachel swallowed hard and nodded, but quickly plastered a smile onto her face as she set them off walking again. "He is, yes, but seeing as we are already late for the start of class there will be no time for any conversation. And anyway, I would rather it be me than you. I don't wish to see you get into any trouble on my account, Quinn." She knew her smile was a little too bright and her voice an octave higher than normal but she didn't wish to give the blondes any more reason to be anxious.

Quinn exchanged a look with Brittany as they reached Rachel's classroom.

"Thank you for escorting me, I will see you later." The diva moved to enter the room but a hand on her arm stopped her. Now that was unusual…

For a moment, Quinn and Rachel just stared at each other. Rachel's eyes flickered to the blonde's hand and back to her conflicted gaze. Quinn so badly wanted to tell Rachel to not go in there, to just come to World History with her and Brittany, or skip class altogether and go hide in the auditorium with them… but she knew the girl would not do that. She also knew the thought of Finn being anywhere near Rachel made her feel sick. Yes, Quinn still had incredibly mixed feelings about the diva and she was still angry at her for getting Santana hurt… deep down though, the blonde knew it was not Rachel's fault. And even deeper down, Quinn felt affection for and protectiveness over the diva that if she allowed to develop… it would soon be as strong as her feelings for Santana and Brittany… she just wasn't ready for that yet. Their wounds were still too fresh.

"We will be here as soon as class lets out. You and Britt have Calc and I have Art class so we'll walk together," Quinn let her hand fall from Rachel's arm, and cleared her throat. "If that's okay with you?"

Rachel couldn't help her beaming smile. "I would like that very much, thank you, Quinn."

Quinn nodded and stepped back to Brittany's side as Rachel finally went into class. The diva got a disapproving look from her teacher but when Brittany sent the man a wave through the little glass window in the door, the teacher said nothing further to Rachel and continued with the class.

"C'mon, Britt," Quinn grumbled as she set off down the hallway with Brittany at her heels. "Before my restraint fails and I burst into that class and rip his fucking head off…"

* * *

Rachel point blank refused to even look around the room to see if Finn was there. But she didn't have to, she spent the entire class with chills running down her spine and goose bumps at the feeling of eyes drilling into the back of her head. She did her absolute best to focus on the class and tune him out but the longer it went on, the harder she had to fight the overwhelming urge to turn in her chair and snap at the boy. Santana's words echoed in her head. She took some deep, measured breaths and remembered she had a job to do today.

She could tell Brittany was incredibly anxious and Quinn was on the verge of ripping the school apart brick by brick with her bare hands so it was up to Rachel to keep them together, safe and as calm as possible. They just had to make it through the day then they would be home and in Santana's arms again… Rachel stiffened and shook the thought out of her head. If the irresistible need to kiss Santana this morning had proved anything to her it's that she wanted the girl. Badly. But she still had not figured out exactly what it was that she wanted. Or if she would even be willing or able to fit into their… situation… and now was really not the time to be trying to figure all that out! But… when things had quietened down and Santana was up to it, Rachel very much wanted to have that conversation with the girl. With all three of the girls!

The bell rung not a moment too soon. Rachel surged to her feet, shoved her books in her bag and fought her way through the crush of students heading out of the classroom. She heard him calling her name but refused to stop moving until she all but fell into the blondes waiting for her, as promised, in the hallway. Brittany encircled her with her arms the moment she appeared and Rachel held on tight, her breath coming out in a stuttery rush. She hadn't realised the boy's staring had affected her so badly but it felt like she hadn't been able to take a proper breath since she'd sat down at her desk.

"Rach, I was calling you-" Finn stepped out of the door and came face to face with Quinn, murder in her eyes as she squared up to the boy.

"I don't think she wants to talk to you. And I don't think you should EVER talk to her again," Quinn was scarily calm, her hands on her hips as she glared Finn down.

Finn found himself taking a step back subconsciously. His eyes went to Rachel and Quinn stepped into his line of sight, blocking the diva from view.

"For once in your life, Finn, do the fucking smart thing and stay the hell away from us."

"I'm here to talk to Rachel, not you. Why don't you let her decide for herself?" Finn straightened, finding his voice finally. He glared at Quinn.

Quinn smirked. She called back to Rachel without taking her eyes off the tall boy trying to loom over her menacingly. "Rach? Do you want to stay here and talk to him or do you want to walk to class with Britt and I?"

Rachel detached herself from Brittany, still keeping hold of the dancer's hand though, and turned to slip her free hand into one of Quinn's that still rested on her hips. "Class please."

Quinn could not stop the shit-eating grin taking over her face as she was pulled away from Finn by Rachel and Brittany. She flipped the boy off before spinning, wrapping Rachel's arm around her waist and slinging her arm around the diva's shoulders in full view of Finn. An action that started Rachel's heart racing and had her blushing all the way through her next class.

* * *

The three girls ate lunch together in the auditorium. Brittany and Quinn hanging around as Rachel practiced some vocal exercises centre stage. The girl's voice strong and incredible as ever as she belted out a verse of 'Defying Gravity' – it bounced about them and reached from wall to wall without it looking like it took any effort on Rachel's part. The diva looked so completely at home stood up there. The blondes watched her with a sense of awe – Brittany clapping enthusiastically after Rachel had finished, and Quinn sending her an approving smile.

"You need to sing at Regionals, Rachel. You belong on that stage," Quinn nudged the diva with her elbow when she re-joined them in the front row.

Rachel smiled a little bashfully. "That's very kind of you to say, Quinn. I just-"

"I know, I know, you want to give everyone else a chance, you're trying not to steal the lime light all the time!" Quinn rolled her eyes. "But some of that lime light is rightfully yours. Don't be afraid to take it. You have an incredible voice, people need to hear it." She shrugged and sat back, finishing her diet coke in one long pull.

Rachel watched the girl with wide eyes. Had Quinn Fabray just… complimented her? That… couldn't have happened… Rachel shook herself out of her negative spiral and assumptions and remembered herself. Quinn had come so far since last year. The girl was still in pain but her edges were a little softer now, and even after everything that had happened Friday evening between herself and the blonde, Rachel could see the changes. And the fact that Quinn had called Rachel this morning for help? Perhaps there was hope for them yet - a thought that made Rachel's heart flutter.

Brittany hopped to her feet. "Can we find Kurt before next period? He said he had something cute to show me! I hope he finally got that bird he's been talking about for like, two weeks now." She dragged Quinn and Rachel to their feet and bounced her way out of the auditorium.

Quinn shared an exasperated look with the diva but Rachel could see how much she adored Brittany, watching her skip up the aisles with soft eyes and an even softer smile.

"You and Brittany," Rachel couldn't stop herself from voicing her thoughts. "Are you…" she frowned, searching for the best way to phrase her question. "Girlfriends too?"

Quinn smirked at Rachel's awkwardness, the diva not quite able to meet her eyes at that moment. "That's a very simplistic way to describe our relationship but yes, essentially we are girlfriends. It's just a little different than my relationship with Santana. No better or worse, and definitely no lesser," the blonde clarified quickly. "Just different. Britt is light, whereas Santana and I are dark, thus we require a different, and perhaps more delicate, approach. That's not to say Britt doesn't have layers or issues like anyone, because she does. We just…"

"Want to protect that light in her for as long as you can." Rachel finished for her, her own eyes on the dancer waiting for them by the doors, grinning excitedly.

Quinn turned to Rachel, looking her up and down for a second. "Yes. Exactly." She didn't say anything further, instead she just held Rachel's gaze trying to decide something…

"Quinn!" Brittany whined from the doorway, snapping Quinn out of her thoughts and freeing Rachel from the rather hypnotising intensity of Quinn's stare.

"Come on then, let's go find Kurt," Quinn sighed, slipping her hand into Rachel's and then Brittany's when they caught up to her.

They had gotten almost to Kurt's locker when it dawned on Rachel that she did not have her backpack on her anymore. She turned, dropping Quinn's hand, to head back to the auditorium.

"Hey!" Quinn's fingers locked around the diva's forearm before she could even take two steps. "What's wrong?"

"I forgot my backpack." Rachel noted the blonde's hesitation, her reluctance to let her out of her sight. She knew she shouldn't feel special or smile, given the reason why, but she couldn't help it. The girl was worried about her, protective over her even. She was quite certain that it was only on Santana's orders but even so… her heart beat a little quicker. "I promise I won't even be gone two minutes, Quinn. So please don't look so worried." Rachel couldn't help bringing Quinn's hand, where it was on her arm, up to her lips and pressing a kiss to it. God, her skin's soft… Rachel shook the thought from her head and carefully pried Quinn's fingers off her before darting away back to the auditorium.

True to her word, Rachel had made it to the auditorium, grabbed her backpack and was already on her way back to the blondes with a whole minute left to go.

"Rachel?" The voice came from the back of the auditorium, exactly where she was heading, and it made her blood run cold.

Taking a deep breath and steeling herself, Rachel turned a little and watched Finn walk towards her. She couldn't help herself as she backed up more and more the closer he got to her until her back hit the stage and she had nowhere left to go.

"I just want to talk, Rach. That's all. And," he hesitated, looking down at his feet. "I wanted to apologize."

A frown found its way onto Rachel's face but her guard was up, even when the boy stopped a few feet away from her and came no closer.

"I don't have time to talk right now, Finn. Lunch is almost over, we-"

"It will only take a minute, Rach. I just need you to know how sorry I am, that I never meant to hurt you or upset you," Finn spoke quietly, as if he were afraid someone would hear him. "I just wanted you to know that I still love you and I still want to be with you. So when they hurt you and they're done with you, I'll still be here, okay?"

Rachel scowled at him. "And what is that supposed to mean, Finn?"

"I know you don't see it yet, but you will. They aren't good for you, Rachel! But I'll always be here to look after you, okay?" Finn jabbed a thumb at himself, taking a step towards her.

Rachel held her ground, straightening and folding her arms across her chest as she looked up at him with anger. "How do you know what they are for me? You have no idea who they even are any more, Finn. And you really have no clue as to who I am!"

"I… I know who you are, Rachel," He shook his head in confusion. "And I definitely know who those lying, backstabbing bitches are!"

Rachel couldn't even begin to voice her feelings right then. How much it hurt her to hear Finn use such awful and untrue words to describe the girls she lov- uh… to describe her friends. He was being cruel and petty and once again he was certainly not listening to her! She did not take her eyes off him as she drew in a calming breath and chose her words meticulously.

"Finn," Rachel dropped her arms to her sides and spoke as clearly and as calmly as she could manage. "I am not interested in you. Not as a boyfriend, not as a lover, not as anything more than a friend. I apologise if this hurts your feelings, I never meant to. But I do not wish to be with you. So I would appreciate it if you would grant me my personal space and understand that my life is my own to do with as I choose. I will be friends with whomsoever I choose to be friends with, and neither you nor anyone else has a say in that. Do I make myself clear?" She raised her eyebrows at him, waiting for a response.

After a few seconds, Finn nodded, not able to look at the diva.

"Good. Now if you will excuse me, Finn, I have to get back," She swung her backpack onto her shoulders and stepped around the tall boy, giving him a wide berth.

"You're going back to them, right?" He called after her.

Rachel rolled her eyes but neither stopped nor answered him. She was almost out of the auditorium, her fingers gripped the door handle and she- Finn grabbed her and pulled her back. He spun her and a split second later, he was kissing her. His tongue forced its way into her mouth and his arms trapped her, one hand on the back of her neck and one creeping down her back towards her-

She struggled against him, hands balling into fists as she tried to push him off her, squirming and flailing to free herself from his hold. But it was no use. Finn was too strong for her and he was not taking no for an answer this time. Rachel did not stop though, she punched at every bit of him she could reach, kicked at his legs- Finn pushed her up against the door, holding her prisoner even more, while he caught her flailing hands in one of his giant ones and renewed the vigour with which he kissed her.

Fear froze Rachel's brain then. She knew she could not fight him off, if he wanted to do anything more than just kiss her there was no way she could stop him… He was too strong, too big, too heavy, too… tears blurred her vision and her lungs felt like they were being crushed inside her chest. She knew a panic attack would soon be on her… she knew Finn would not stop unless she made him…

Rachel bit down as hard as she could on Finn's tongue. The boy's shriek of pain almost deafened her as he jerked away, blood dripping from his mouth, eyes wide in shock.

"What the fuck? Why would you-"

Before he could finish, the auditorium door next to where Rachel was huddled, spitting blood from her own mouth, flew open with a bang. Quinn, wild eyed and in full Lion Quinn mode, stood there. Brittany and Kurt appearing behind her to take in the scene. Rachel had never been so relieved in all her life to see anyone.

"What. The fuck. Did you do to her?" Quinn could barely speak, her voice shook with anger, her eyes ablaze and locked in on Finn.

The boy stood a few feet away, trying to stop the bleeding, wiping blood on his sleeve, but more kept coming. He looked a little pale but went even paler when he saw Quinn stalk towards him.

"Quinn…" Rachel's voice was so quiet she thought the girl wouldn't hear her as she slid to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest tight.

But Quinn heard her. She whipped around and saw the diva in a ball on the floor, blood staining her mouth, tears falling steadily from her wide brown eyes. The blonde's heart almost stopped. Rachel was in her arms before she knew what was happening. She wrapped her up, the diva clawing to get hold of her, holding on so tight, as sobs fell from her lips, face buried in Quinn's chest. She was going to kill him. But not yet. Rachel needed her first.

They vaguely heard a strangled cry before Brittany's arms were around them both and the tall blonde was pressing kisses into their hair, their faces, wherever she could reach. Quinn murmured reassurances in her soft voice, rocking them gently until Rachel could get a grip on her breathing again.

Kurt stood in the doorway, his face a mask of horror as he stared from the three girls on the floor to his step-brother, bleeding profusely from the mouth, clutching his crotch. "What did you do, Finn?" He couldn't quite bring himself to meet Finn's eyes, his brain already piecing together what had happened.

"Kurt-"

"No. Do not say a word. You are not the person I thought you were and I am horrified at having to call you my family," Kurt turned from his step-brother and knelt by the girls. "I'm going to get the Nurse. I will be right back, look after her."

"You better take him with you," Quinn met Kurt's eyes, and the boy almost recoiled at the pure hatred and fury he saw. "Or there won't be anything left of him by the time you get back."

Kurt nodded stiffly. He turned, grabbed Finn's arm in a vice grip and dragged him forcefully up the stairs and out of the auditorium without another word - Finn waddling awkwardly, one hand covering his mouth, one hand holding the front of his jeans.

Rachel jumped at the sound of the door swinging shut, making Quinn press a kiss to her temple and rub a hand up and down her back soothingly.

"You're safe now, Rach. We got you. I am so sorry. We should have been here. I should never have let you go alone," Quinn beat herself up. "This never would have happened if Santana was here, she would have made sure-"

Rachel pressed a hand gently to Quinn's mouth and shook her head. "Don't. Please."

Quinn, eyes wide, nodded. Before Rachel could take her hand back, Quinn covered it with one of her own and pressed a kiss to the diva's palm. "We got you."

Rachel nodded tearfully and buried her face back in Quinn's chest.

* * *

It probably hadn't been her best idea to text Santana but she couldn't not. She knew the girl needed to rest and heal and she'd been through so much this last week. Quinn needed her though, she needed to be safe in her and Brittany's arms more than she needed anything else right then. Rachel was in with the School Nurse and Brittany and Quinn had been made to wait outside. So there they waited, pacing impatiently, jumpy and anxious as hell.

Quinn knew she should have been able to handle this, it was school, for God's sake! She should have been able to keep Rachel safe for a week without Santana! God, she hated how she couldn't even do that right. She was so pathetic, so weak, so fucking useless… The black thoughts kept pouring in and swirling around and around in Quinn's head until she could think of nothing else. Until they were a black hole sucking her in, crushing her until there was nothing left but darkness in her world. She needed someone… something… Quinn reached out for Brittany blindly.

"Q? Britt?"

Quinn's heart ached in her chest at Santana's voice. It kicked a hole in the blackness just big enough for Quinn to get an arm through. She spun and was back in her girlfriend's arms again, Brittany only a split second behind her. Santana grunted in pain as they slammed into her but refused to let go of either of them. She let out a stuttery breath and kissed them both wherever she could reach. None of them spoke for the longest time. They just held onto each other desperately.

"Q?" Santana tried rousing the blonde clinging to her chest but got no response. "Quinn?" Still nothing. Santana's heart was in her throat now, panic setting in again. "Baby, please, look at me, tell me you're okay, tell me… just tell me what happened. Please?" She begged, voice cracking. Quinn had not been in any state to explain on the phone and Santana had just wanted to get to the school as fast as she could so she hadn't pushed.

But Quinn didn't move, couldn't move. She was so exhausted and so angry; her heart hurt so much and her head was full of so much darkness that she couldn't do it. She just needed Santana to hold her. Just for a little while longer. Please. She needed her strength right then because it had taken all of hers just to keep herself together to support Rachel.

Santana pressed a kiss to her forehead and held her tighter. She had seen that blank look in Quinn's eye, the tightness in her jaw, the tension in her body, and had known the girl was lost in her darkness. "It's okay, mi feroz león, I'm here. I've got you. Just keep breathing for me, okay?" She whispered into the blonde's ear, placing a soft kiss there. She knew exactly how awful Quinn's mind could get, it was her own worst enemy some days. Santana knew from her own experiences that you couldn't just not listen, it was your own fucking mind! So she had promised both the blondes long ago that it didn't matter what bullshit their brains told them, what lies it slipped in and tried to convince them of, she would always be there to help them fight it and she would never lie to them.

Brittany tightened her grip on them both, resting her head on Quinn's carefully, nuzzling into her hair so that she knew Brittany was there and sending her all the love she could. The action always made Quinn and Santana smile, now was no different. Quinn nudged Brittany back with her own head affectionately before burying her face back into Santana's neck.

"Britt? Mi Corazon, I need you to be strong and tell me what happened. Are you hurt? Is Quinn?" Santana felt Quinn shake her head against her, Brittany following suit – the dancer pulled away a little to meet Santana's gaze but kept her arms locked around her and Quinn.

"Finn managed to get Rachel alone. He… He used Kurt as a distraction and… and I fell for it, San, I'm so stupid!" Brittany's big blue eyes filled with tears as she choked out the last word.

"Hey, no! No, you are not!" Santana untangled an arm from around Quinn – the shorter blonde still clinging to her desperately – and tugged Brittany to her gently by the back of her neck, pressing their foreheads together. "This is not your fault, Britt. It's not either of your faults, okay?" She brought their lips together, Brittany's hand cupping her face as they kissed slow and deep until she felt Brittany's trembling lessen. Pulling away, Santana smiled softly, that always did the trick with the dancer – Quinn however was a little bit more complicated. "What happened, Britt? I need to know the rest."

Brittany swallowed back the lump in her throat and pushed herself on. "He-He cornered her in the auditorium and-and he wouldn't listen to her, she told him 'no', she said she told him 'no' but he just… He wouldn't let her go so she bit him and I kicked him just like you showed me to do on a boy, San! We-We should have got there sooner, I'm so sorry, San, I'm so-" The dancer's words were cut short by a strangled sob.

Santana tugged the girl back into the embrace and held her close. The Latina's face darkened, her jaw clenched tight, eyes set and stormy, mouth a sharp, thin line as she tried to control her anger. "Where's Rachel?" Her voice was hard and low. It made Quinn shiver and she finally looked up at the Latina.

"The Nurse is checking her over. She's shaken more than physically hurt," Quinn managed to murmur, her head back on Santana's shoulder. "We aren't allowed in."

"Like fuck we aren't! Come on, we need to be there for her." Santana gave her girls' one last squeeze before turning on her heels and marching right into the Nurse's office.

When the Nurse heard her door open she whipped round. "This is a private office and a private meeting with another student, you need to-"

Santana ignored the woman as her eyes landed on Rachel, sat huddled on a chair in the corner, eyes downcast. Her breath caught in her throat. The diva was holding a bloody tissue, red still stained her mouth a little, her face streaked with tears and her clothes and hair were out of place, very un-Rachel-like. Anger flowed through her like her blood was gasoline and someone had set it alight. It almost consumed her until… Rachel looked up at her. The look of pure relief and happiness at seeing her standing there immediately turned Santana's anger to such an all-consuming need to have the girl in her arms that nothing else mattered in that moment.

All she had to do was open her arms and Rachel was in them, holding her like Santana was the only dry bit of land in a world of water. She couldn't even bring herself to care that Rachel was crushing her injured shoulder and it was starting to throb like hell. She just needed to feel the girl against her, feel her arms around her, feel her chest rise and fall, feel her breath on her neck… she just needed to know that Rachel was okay.

"I-I'm so sorry, Santana, I f-failed you. Y-You believed in m-me and I let you d-down," Rachel sobbed, her face pushed hard into Santana's chest muffling her a little.

Santana just about managed to keep herself together. "You did no such thing, Rach. You have nothing to apologise for, I promise you!"

Rachel could only shake her head, making the Latina hold her tighter. After a few minutes of the Nurse glaring at them, Santana finally moved to let Rachel go so the woman could finish whatever it was she had been doing. But Rachel tensed and refused to let go, fingers locking together behind Santana's back as she shoved her face even harder into the Latina.

"Please don't leave me, Santana, please," the diva choked out.

Santana pressed her own face into Rachel's hair and inhaled deeply, before leaving a firm kiss there. "I'm not going anywhere, mi Estrella. We're all here with you and we aren't going anywhere."

The blondes wrapped their arms around Rachel too, taking turns to pass her between them before Rachel landed back in Santana's arms and nuzzled into her neck. Santana's heart jumped at the contact and she smiled into the embrace. Her brain had been screaming curse words and playing every horrible, awful scenario to her from the moment she had gotten Quinn's text. It finally quietened down now so she could just about think above the profanity and terror.

"Now, you gotta finish up with the nurse, okay? For my sanity, if nothing else!" The Latina held up a hand when Rachel tried to argue.

The diva nodded, releasing her hold on Santana reluctantly and went back to sit down opposite the incredibly pissed off looking Nurse glaring at the girls by the door. Santana returned her glare. The Nurse sighed and sat down, finally resuming her conversation with Rachel. While they were talking, Santana slipped her hand into Quinn's and tugged her into the far corner by the door, Brittany moving to sit by Rachel, entwining their fingers together without a word.

"I have to report this," Santana gestured at her injuries, keeping her voice a whisper. "To Figgins."

Quinn raised an eyebrow at her. "I thought you didn't want to?"

"I thought if I did I'd paint a target on you all, I thought I'd make the situation worse but clearly," the Latina glanced over at the diva, her anxious gaze flitting back and forth between the Nurse and the girls in the corner, checking they were still there. "He's not gotten the message and this cannot happen again. Not to her, not to you two, not to any other girl he sets his sights on." She just about managed to get her words out through gritted teeth. Her anger palpable – the pain in her shoulder only spurring it on.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

Quinn nodded, folding her arms across her chest, a determined glint in her eye. "I was pissed that you didn't report the motherfucker to the police after what he did to you, but I didn't want to push." The blonde softened a little, her hand cupping Santana's face, the Latina leaning into the touch. "You scared the fuck out of me, S. I thought I'd- I thought we'd lost you. Seeing you crumpled on the floor like that?" A deep frown set on her face as she shook the images from her head as if it would magically get rid of them completely and stop the nightmares she had been having since the incident. "And now, seeing Rachel like… like that?" Quinn could barely bring herself to look over at the diva.

"I know," Santana pulled the blonde to her, letting the girl bury her face in her neck.

"We can't just do nothing, S," Quinn grabbed handfuls of the Latina's flannel shirt, hands balling into fists.

Santana pressed a kiss to her temple. "I know. We won't. Not this time." She rubbed gentle circles into Quinn's back with one hand, her other lost in the blonde's hair. She felt the girl relax into her with a deep sigh and Santana finally felt her own heart leave her throat and return to its normal place in her chest. This was far from over – she would not let Finn get away with this – but her girls were all in one piece and still alive.

All three of them.

* * *

**AN: I love hearing your thoughts so don't hesitate to review! I'm writing this story for the love of the characters and for my own mental health and love of writing, all I ask is that's respected =)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: I thought I'd celebrate my first full week in my new house by posting a chapter for all you lovely people =) plus I just finished chapter eleven and started chapter twelve so there's that too! My landlord had the cleaners in to sort the upstairs carpets out as they are filthy and dog-scented, so I'm currently hiding in my lounge with my furbabies doing some unpacking. **

**Anywho, thank you to the awesome people who reviewed, and for all new favourites and follows I've gotten this week! It makes me so damn happy! I know I write for myself and to deal with my stuff, but it's really nice to know that people are enjoying my work and appreciate it too.**

**Much love, **

**Maxx**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except the every growing collection of Pop! and Assassin's Creed figures in my lounge XD**

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**Trigger/Content Warning: This chapter contains a scene of self-harm and blood (first scene), mentions of assault (third scene) and mentions of mental health issues and self-harm throughout - please stay safe!**

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

Santana's hands shook as she gripped the sink. Her breath came out in loud hisses between her clenched teeth. She glanced at herself in the bathroom mirror and curled her lip in disgust – this was all her fault. No, not all her fault. But if she went to jail for killing Finn then she would never get to hold her girls again and her life would not be worth living. No. She could blame herself, punish herself and it wouldn't matter. And she needed someone to hurt for this. She needed to get this anger, this disgust, this pain, this heartache out some way, somehow before she fucking exploded and took the entire state with her.

_Crack._

Her first punch sent a jarring pain up her arm and put a little crack in the mirror.

_Crack._

Her second, with more force behind it this time, was no longer out of reflex and it sent jagged lines running through the mirror from the point of impact. Santana's eyes locked on her own reflection; seeing only the person who failed to protect her family. She wanted to hurt. Him, mostly, but she would do too.

_Crack!_

Her third punch shattered the mirror completely and bust her knuckles open. Blood stained shards rained down to the ground and into the sink. Santana did not flinch. Her breath came hard and fast now, her eyes closed and fists balled at her sides. She channeled everything, all her emotions – good and bad - into her hand and-

_Thud._

Her fist connected with where the mirror used to be, leaving a bloody mark on the wall. Her hand throbbed, she had jarred her wrist and she could feel the blood running between her fingers now. The pain was good. It cleared her head, focused her mind.

_Thud._

A grunt slipped from her mouth. That one really fucking hurt. She drew in a deep breath and held it.

_Thud._

She let out the breath in a loud gasp as her fist connected with the wall. Good. That was good. She could think again. Her hand fucking hurt, throbbed, bled… it blocked out the shit going on in her head, focused her attention away from the darkness attempting to take her over.

Santana inspected her wounds with rough fingers. She moved to another sink and turned the cold water on. It stung like a fucking bitch when she put her hand under the running water, making her wince and grit her teeth. But she couldn't help the pained smile that slipped onto her face. She was under no assumptions that what she had done was incredibly dangerous and had the potential to scar her for life. But she hadn't seen any other way. Not in that moment.

She knew she should have stayed with Quinn. She knew she should have told the girl what was going on in her head, talked it out with her, cried it out if she had to… that would have been the healthy, well-adjusted, sensible thing to do. The smart thing to do, even. But Santana never claimed to be any of those things. It had taken everything in her not to find out where Finn was and beat him until he was black and blue, until he was bloody, until he was no longer recognisable as Finn… until he no longer breathed. She had _wanted_ to do that. No one hurts her family. _No one_.

The part of her that still had rational thought and logic had managed to talk her out of it and guided her footsteps to the bathroom instead. It knew that she was going to punch something so had tried to minimise the damage to just herself. Yeah, still not great, she agreed, but her mind had been so full of dark thoughts and pain and anguish that she couldn't see past it, couldn't think of the 'healthy' thing to do in that moment. So she had done what she needed to so her mind was her own again and she could think logically.

Now that she could, Santana knew she had fucked up. She knew Quinn was going to be fucking livid, especially after all their conversations and all the support she had given to the blonde to try and help her get past her self-destructive habits. She knew Brittany was going to be so fucking sad, so fucking guilty and confused and hurt… they talked about everything, why couldn't Santana have talked to them about this?

"Fuck!" Santana clenched her fist hard, sending pain shooting through her whole arm. The pain and the release of cursing focused her mind again and she pushed those thoughts back for now. She would deal with them after…

After she had dealt with Finn.

* * *

When Rachel glanced over at the Nurse's office door again, Santana was gone and Quinn was stood there, flexing her fingers, looking like she couldn't decide what to do. The blonde's eyes were glued to the door like she was waiting for Santana to come back, but after a few moments Quinn shook her head and turned towards Rachel and Brittany. Rachel met the blonde's gaze – it was conflicted and hard but softened almost instantly. Quinn made her way over to the girls and sat beside Rachel.

"Where's Santana?" The words left Rachel's mouth before she could stop them, a tinge of fear in her voice.

"She…" Quinn swallowed hard. She had been about to make up some excuse, but she just couldn't do it, not with the way the diva was looking at her with such wide, desperate eyes. "She needed some space to think."

Rachel frowned at her, moving to get up. Quinn caught her hand and guided her back into her chair as gently as she could.

"She'll be back, I promise. Just… give her a little time." The blonde nodded firmly, taking Rachel's hand and linking their fingers together. "Britt and I have got you, okay?"

The diva chewed on her bottom lip, knees jerking up and down as her feet were unable to stay still. Quinn caught Brittany's eye and knew the dancer was thinking the same – they needed to get Rachel away from this Goddamn place and back home. The girl was anxious as fuck and they both knew she wouldn't be able to relax until she was far, far away from here.

"Mrs. Nurse?" Brittany piped up, fixing the woman with her best puppy dog eyes. "We have to take Rachel home now."

It wasn't a question but the Nurse answered anyway, a frown on her face. "I haven't finished Miss. Berry's paperwork yet and I still need to let Principal Figgins know, so you'll have to-"

Brittany stood and took the two steps from their chairs to the Nurse's desk and lent against it until she was eye to eye with the woman. "We… have… to… take… Rachel… home. Now."

The Nurse's eyes widened a little at the sudden change in the girl. A moment ago it had been all sweetness and light and now Brittany hadn't blinked in about a minute. "Uhh… Figgins…" she let out weakly.

"Don't worry about the Principal, San is gonna take care of that. So while she's saving you a job, I think you should let all our teachers know that we won't be in for the rest of the day," Brittany's tone had an edge to it but her smile was still in place, bright as ever.

"Britt?"

Brittany turned her head just a little towards Quinn but did not break eye contact with the Nurse.

"The report?"

Brittany nodded and turned her full attention back to the woman shrinking before her. "I know you haven't finished it yet but we'd like to have a look at your paperwork concerning Rachel."

The Nurse opened her mouth to argue, to tell the unblinking blonde that it was private and confidential, but no words came out. She just nudged the papers towards the girl with her pen. Brittany's smile widened and she finally blinked as she took the report and turned, handing it to Quinn.

Quinn scanned it quickly, murmuring as she read. Once she reached the end her head whipped up and her eyes narrowed at the Nurse. "Pen." She held out her hand.

When the woman didn't move, Quinn raised an eyebrow and snapped her fingers until she handed over the pen. Quinn leant on the Nurse's desk and crossed out a few things, added something here and there then scribbled something at the end before handing it back.

The Nurse read over her report again, mouth falling open. "You can't just… I'll have to do the whole report again now!"

Quinn stared her down as she carefully tugged Rachel to her feet. "So do it again. And do it properly this time. This was not an accident or some teenage hormones gone wrong. This was assault. By Finn Hudson. Don't you dare try and fucking sugar coat this to protect him. Just do your fucking job!"

The girls filed out of her office leaving the Nurse to stare after them, paperwork clutched in her hands, mouth hanging open.

* * *

Figgins' office was already pretty crowded by the time Santana got there. She counted six people, including Principal Figgins and… Finn… She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, counting to ten in her head. She did it twice more until she got a handle on her murderous rage again. Something else stopped her then. Something she hadn't told Quinn or Brittany when she had initially declared she wasn't going to report the assault.

Her pride. It was dumb, and egotistical of her, she knew that. But the galumphing boy had gotten the best of her, he had overpowered her and beaten her. He had seen her weak and bleeding, defeated at his feet and it had hurt almost as much as her head had. He had made her feel weak and helpless. It still unsettled her as she thought about it then. She was supposed to be Santana fucking Lopez, badass bitch from the wrong side of the tracks! She didn't cower, she didn't back down and she damn well didn't lose to no knuckle-dragging, chromosomally-challenged douchebag like Finn. So going in there and telling everyone that he'd hurt her, that he'd gotten the better of her…

Santana shook the thoughts from her head viciously. No. That was the old her. The person who gave a fuck what people thought about her, who cowed down to social pressure and societal norms. That wasn't her anymore. She had come too far to let her pride get in the way again, as it had for so many years and made her so unhappy. She needed to do this. She needed to be brave for her girls and go in there and do whatever it took to ensure Finn never hurt them again.

With that thought blazing through her mind, Santana set her jaw, squared her shoulders and marched into Figgins' office.

"…I don't understand what you're saying, Kurt, that just doesn't sound like Finn!"

"Do you really think I would lie about something like this, dad? Seriously?" Kurt, hand splayed on his chest, snapped at Burt.

Burt sighed. "No, I'm not saying that at all. I'm just trying to get to the bottom of things because-"

"Because you can't possibly imagine golden boy Finn would do anything like that!" Sarcasm dripped from Kurt and made Santana like the boy a little again. But since he was part of Finn's ploy to get Rachel alone she had lost a great deal of trust in him.

"Kurt, Mr. Hummel, please!" Figgins stood, his hands up to quieten them. He spotted Santana then and frowned. "Santana? I thought you weren't returning to school until next week? Are you feeling better?"

Everyone turned to look at Santana then. Everyone except Finn who went rigid in his seat and kept his eyes firmly glued to his shoes, one hand holding an ice pack to his junk. Santana smirked, Brittany had really gotten him good – she was proud. She turned her eyes on Figgins.

"No. I'm not. I'm still recovering from a concussion, a head injury and having a number of stitches in my back and head." She kept her voice low but calm, ensuring every single one of them was listening to her.

"What kinda school are you running here, Figgins? How are all your students getting hurt so badly? Huh?" Burt rounded on Figgins.

Figgins could only open and close his mouth helplessly. He had no idea. So Santana would have to enlighten him.

"Do you really want to know, Mr. Hummel?"

Burt looked back at Santana. He didn't know the girl well, Kurt wasn't particularly close with her so he didn't mention her much. But he knew they were in Glee Club together and he remembered Kurt telling him how happy he was that she'd finally come out of the closet because she was much less abrasive and much easier to get along with afterwards. But the hard look in her eyes told him she wasn't going to be that easy to get along with now…

"Well," Burt cleared his throat, glancing sideways at his silent wife and his fuming son. "We were kinda in the middle of something right now-"

"Oh, I know. Finn sexually assaulting Rachel. I've been informed and I've seen Rachel. She's a fucking mess, by the way, if anyone gives a fuck?" She looked around the room, meeting everyone's eyes pointedly. Except Finn. He just shrank into his seat.

Figgins opened his mouth to chastise her for her language but the look she gave him was so full of fury that he snapped his mouth shut again.

"But no. I'm here to report an assault of my own."

Burt frowned, Figgins' eyes widened and Kurt jerked his head around to look at his step-brother.

"You didn't…" Kurt trailed off, still staring at Finn.

"He did." Santana met Kurt's eyes unwaveringly. She took a breath to steady herself before turning to Figgins and saying what she should have said days ago. She told Figgins everything that had happened after Glee Club last Friday. Half way through she heard Kurt mumble 'oh sweet Streisand' and saw Burt sit down, his head in his hands, out of the corner of her eye. "…then I went after Rachel to tell her… something, I can't remember what exactly, but the next thing I knew Finn had his hands on me and I was slammed against the lockers, bleeding and barely able to stay conscious." She frowned, annoyed at her own memories, or lack thereof. "I spent the night in the Emergency room getting CT'd, X-Rayed, poked, prodded and stitched up. Oh and throwing up… a lot! Head injuries, they're a bitch!" She rolled her eyes before folding her arms across her chest and staring at Figgins to let the man know she was done now.

The silence was deafening. Figgins could only stare at her, which infuriated her no end. A sob broke the silence then, it came from the left of her where Finn's mom was sitting. The woman had her face buried in her husband's chest, his arm around her and a pained look on his face. Santana sighed.

"If you want proof I'll get my medical records and you can talk to Britt and Quinn, and even Rachel if you really have to. But not before next week!" She hissed, brandishing a finger at Figgins. "She's been through enough so leave her the fuck alone for now."

"Language, please, Santana. But…" The Principal glanced about the room. "I think that's probably for the best. I need to deal with this situation first."

Santana nodded and stepped back to lean against the wall. Figgins looked at her expectantly.

"I'm not going anywhere until I know you've actually dealt with this instead of just sweeping it under the rug or downplaying it because he's a straight, white boy. That Zero-Tolerance policy you like to pull outta your ass when it suits you better be the next thing I hear outta your mouth, or we're gonna have a problem." Santana folded her arms across her chest, only just managing to contain her hiss of pain as she jostled her damaged left hand in the process.

Figgins kept his composure and turned to Burt and Carole. "We do have a Zero-Tolerance Policy here about violence in all its forms, Mr. Hummel, Mrs. Hudson-Hummel." He addressed the still silent couple in a no-nonsense tone. "We will be investigating these matters as fully as we are able," he glanced pointedly at Santana. "But until that time, until we have gotten to the bottom of this, Finn is suspended indefinitely. Effective immediately. And he is not allowed back on school grounds until either the suspension is lifted or he is invited on personally by myself or the School Board to attend any meetings or to attend his hearing." He nodded firmly, slapping his desk with one hand and sitting back in his chair.

Santana grit her teeth but gave the man a nod. That would have to do for now. But that did not mean she was done with Finn in any way shape or form. She was going to make the boy bleed, make him beg, scream for his mommy until he was hoarse. She was going to make him regret ever laying a finger on Rachel if it was the last thing she ever did. She turned abruptly on her heels and left.

A second later she heard hurried footsteps behind her but she did not slow down. Kurt appeared beside her and kept pace, his face paler than usual, bag clutched tightly to his shoulder.

"I had no idea what he was planning-"

Santana rounded on the boy, fire in her eyes as she backed him into the lockers. "I don't give a fuck if you had any idea or not, Kurt. You got my girls hurt."

The boy squeaked in surprise but did not cower. He held her angry gaze and spoke with as much sincerity as he could muster. "I know. And I will never forgive myself for that. But I swear to you, Santana, I just thought he wanted to apologise to her. He said that was all, because he had upset her last week and hadn't had a chance to explain his side. I thought…" Kurt swallowed hard. "I thought I was helping my brother make up with the girl he loved. I had no idea he was capable of… of…" He shook his head, disgust plain on his face.

Santana narrowed her eyes at him.

"If I could take it all back, I would. But I can't. So tell me what I can do to help. Anything at all and I'll do it."

"Anything?"

Kurt had never been Santana's biggest fan but he had seen the changes in the girl this year and he admired her for coming out and finally trying to be herself, for loving exactly who she loved without apology – even if the rest of the morons in Glee, in this school, in this backwater town didn't seem to understand. He had been where she had been, he had struggled, he had imagined all the ways his dad might disown him, imagined him screaming at him or kicking him out a thousand times when he came out. He had faced years of bullying and slushies and dumpsters. The difference between them though? Kurt had never been anyone but himself, he had been free and safe enough to just be without worrying about the consequences or that it could be wrong - all thanks to his loving mother and his supportive father. But Santana obviously had not had that and so society had shamed her and shaped her for the worse. For that's what she was, a product of a society that had a very narrow world view and raised up those who stayed in line and fit in, while demonising and punishing those who dared to dream and be their authentic selves.

So when Santana had walked through the choir room door that first day back, fingers linked with Brittany and Quinn, Kurt had felt his heart soar and tears well up. He had so badly wanted to run and hug them all fiercely and proudly. But, and he was ashamed to admit this, he was still wary of the girl and wanted proof that she really had changed. As the weeks went by Kurt had seen it with his own eyes: the way Santana cared so much for her girlfriends, how she was so open with her affection, how she was a little softer, smiled more, seemed to genuinely enjoy her time in Glee… He felt even guiltier now that he had not gone and spoken to her before. He should have supported them. He should have educated the Glee kids; he heard the way they gossiped about The Unholy Trinity, how they thought their relationship weird and that it 'wouldn't last'.

He should have been a Goddamn ally to them all, he should have been better! But now was his chance. Even though the way Santana was glaring at him - fire dancing in her eyes, jaw clenched, stance threatening – was just about the most terrifying thing he had ever seen and he genuinely thought she might kill him on the spot… Kurt wanted a chance to make up for his error in judgement, both in Finn and in The Unholy Trinity. Because he had truly been wrong about both.

"I will do anything to earn your trust back, Santana. Rachel, Brittany and Quinn's too." He waited with bated breath while she scrutinized him, her eyes scanning his face not missing a thing.

After a very long few seconds had passed, Santana nodded stiffly. "You can start by keeping your prick of a step-brother far, far away from Rachel. And away from Quinn and Britt too. If I so much as catch a whiff of him anywhere near them I am holding you personally responsible. Is that clear?"

Kurt nodded quickly, letting out the breath he had been holding as the girl finally stepped away from him. Sweet Streisand, she could still be terrifying when she wanted to be!

"Good. You will also personally apologise to all three of them for your part in all this and find ways to make it up to each one of them individually. Once you've done all that, and I've beaten your step-brother to within an inch of his worthless life, we might just be able to move past this."

Kurt waited for Santana to crack a smile or chuckle or say… something to let him know that she hadn't actually been serious about doing that to Finn but the Latina did nothing. She just continued to stare at him with that same hard glare. She raised an eyebrow at him impatiently.

"Kurt?" She snapped.

Kurt flinched and stuttered out his agreement to her terms before watching Santana turn without another word, hair flipping wildly as she did, and disappear down the hallway just as the bell rung and she was obscured by the crowd of students.

* * *

Quinn drummed her fingers on the hood of Santana's car, her eyes darting, head jerking about at every sound. Brittany and Rachel were stashed safely in the backseat of the Latina's car already, Rachel tucked tightly into Brittany's side as the dancer hummed softly rocking them both. The rocking was mostly for Brittany's benefit, Quinn knew, but it seemed to be just as effective in calming Rachel down as it was at calming Brittany.

The main doors to the school opened and Quinn's head whipped around. Her eyes landed on Santana, making her way quickly down the steps towards them. The blonde let out a sigh of relief but it was cut short when she noticed something wrapped around the Latina's left hand. No… she wouldn't have… she didn't…

Santana had reached the car and had her keys in hand. "Come on, we need to go."

"What the hell happened to your hand?" Quinn reached for the girl but Santana snatched herself away.

"Get in the fucking car. Now."

Quinn's eyes widened and her eyebrows almost vanished into her hairline. Santana was already in the car, starting the engine and did not notice. After a moment, Quinn followed suit and before she could blink they were out of the school parking lot and speeding away. No one spoke for a few minutes but the tension was palpable. Before Quinn could break the silence, Rachel spoke up from the backseat.

"Where are we going?"

Santana glanced at her in her rear-view mirror and softened a little. "I'm taking you home, Rach. We need to get you cleaned up and… and tell your dads what happened."

Rachel's eyes widened at her words.

"You don't have to say a word about anything, if you don't want to, okay? We can tell them, or we can stay with you while you tell them. It's totally your call."

Rachel knew Santana was right. Her fathers needed to hear it from her before they got a call from the school and freaked out. Thankfully they were both finishing early today and would be home by five, that gave her… about three hours to prep what she was going to say she just… she didn't think she could face saying it out loud again. She had already had to tell the Nurse three times, and had just about managed to choke it out to Quinn and Brittany when she had calmed down enough. She just wanted to forget it ever happened and fall asleep in her girls'- uh someone's arms, safe and secure.

"I… I don't think I can tell them. I don't think I'll even be able to look at them… Can-Can you please-"

"Of course. Don't worry about it, we got you." Santana sent the diva a smile that melted her heart. It was soft and sincere and made her feel like she was the only person in the world.

A blush coloured Rachel's cheeks as she dragged her eyes away from Santana's. Even after… after everything that today had thrown at her, all it took was a few words and a smile from Santana to make her heart flip flop in her chest and her mind stop racing for a few precious moments. She snuggled back into Brittany's side, content in the dancer's arms for the rest of the drive.

They pulled into Rachel's driveway and the diva let them all in. Brittany had not let go of Rachel's hand yet, the dancer rubbing soothing circles into her palm with her thumb. It made Rachel feel funny – tingly and goose bump-y and warm all over. Brittany tugged Rachel through the house towards the stairs as if she had been in the Berry house countless times already.

"Come on, Rach, let's go get you cleaned up," the dancer started up the stairs before Rachel could stop her.

"But… what about-"

"It's best if we leave them to it for a little while. They need to… talk," Brittany shrugged, an earnest smile on her face.

Rachel saw the dancer's eyes go to Santana and Quinn where they stood by the door and something flashed across Brittany's face. It was only for a split second but Rachel could have sworn she saw such a heart-breaking look of sadness. But then Brittany was smiling at her brightly again and tugging her up the stairs. Somehow, the girl found her room on the first try and led Rachel to her bed, pushing her gently to sit on it. She pressed play on Rachel's stereo and turned it up.

Rachel watched silently as Brittany spun and busied herself rooting in the diva's closet and chest of drawers, pulling out a few items of clothing and slinging them over her shoulder. The blonde hummed happily to herself as she did so, making Rachel smile. Brittany was infectious – her smile, her laugh, her attitude, her easy-going, fun loving nature, her sweetness – Rachel liked everything about the girl and she could see very clearly why Santana and Quinn had fallen for her. Yet there was something a little mysterious about Brittany too and it intrigued Rachel. The dancer was incredibly dedicated and talented, she was resilient and observant, and had a way with words that seemed both nonsensical and genius at the same time.

Brittany was back in front of Rachel now, hand outstretched for the diva to take. She led her into her ensuite bathroom and motioned for Rachel to sit on the edge of the bathtub nearest the sink while Brittany filled the sink. The dancer carefully laid the clothes she had picked out on the lid of the toilet before turning back to the diva.

"Can I?" Brittany gestured to Rachel's sweater.

The diva froze, her throat threatening to close up. But Brittany didn't move, just held Rachel's gaze with her own and waited. It took her a minute to remember that it was Brittany, not… not someone else. That Brittany had protected her, had held her through everything and had been so gentle and attentive the entire time. She had nothing to fear from the girl, she knew that with an absolute certainty and the thought calmed her down.

"Yes, you may."

Brittany gave her a small, grateful smile and carefully helped Rachel out of her blood stained sweater before throwing it into the hamper behind her. The blonde reached across to the sink and dipped Rachel's washcloth into the water then squeezed it out a little. She met Rachel's eyes again and waited for confirmation. The diva nodded hesitantly and Brittany set to work. The washcloth was warm and the blonde's hands were gentle but sure as they oh-so carefully and meticulously wiped the blood from Rachel's face and removed any trace of spilt tears. She couldn't help but smile when Brittany took her hands and cleaned them too before placing a kiss on them when she was done.

Rachel watched the blonde work; concentration clear on Brittany's face as she focused her complete attention on the diva. There was that tingly, warm feeling again! Rachel swallowed thickly as the blonde leant across her to drop the washcloth back in the sink. Brittany had been so close but yet so far, touching Rachel only when given permission, but now the girl was pressed against her, hair tickling her face, scent filling Rachel's head and making it swim. She so badly wanted to lean up until she could lick at the hollow of Brittany's throat, until she could kiss along her jaw, until she could taste the blonde the way she had wanted to since their private dance class weeks ago now.

But before she could, Brittany had moved away to pick up the clothes and was speaking to her again.

"Umm sorry, I didn't catch that."

Brittany took in Rachel's flushed cheeks and darkened eyes and smiled brilliantly. "That's okay, Rach. I just asked if you wanted me to leave while you got changed."

Rachel, a little dazed thanks to Brittany, shook her head. Brittany smiled again and Rachel found her breath caught in her throat as the blonde passed her the clothes and turned her back so Rachel could change. It took the diva a minute or two of staring at the blonde's back before she remembered what she was supposed to be doing. She quickly pulled off her shoes and socks, wriggled out of her skirt and underwear, tugged her shirt over her head and unhooked her bra. Strangely she felt no awkwardness or uncomfortableness about being naked with Brittany in the room, because she knew the girl would not move until Rachel gave her the all clear.

Brittany had picked out some comfy sweats and her favourite t-shirt – it had a giant gold star on the chest and always made her feel like she could do anything when she was wearing it. She pulled them on and tapped Brittany on the shoulder so she could turn back around. The blonde gave her an appraising once-over and nodded happily.

"You look lovely as ever, Rach. Do you… do you feel a little better?" Brittany asked hopefully.

Rachel couldn't help but smile at how earnest the girl sounded. "I feel much better already, Brittany. Thank you for being so sweet and helping me."

"You're welcome, Rach. Can I give you a hug?"

The diva frowned slightly, since when did Brittany ever ask for a hug? "Of course you can, you don't need to ask."

Brittany wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck immediately and pulled her close. "I just didn't want to overstep or make you uncomfortable. You're important to me and I want you to know that I'd never do anything to hurt you or upset you. Or… or without your permission, okay?"

Rachel felt tears prick at her eyes and she hugged the blonde even tighter to her. "I know you wouldn't." She felt the girl smile into her neck – tingly and warm! Dammit, what was Brittany doing to her?!

Brittany pulled away so she could look at the diva, her arms still loosely around the brunette's neck. "So what do you wanna do now? We could… watch a film and snuggle in bed until those two have cooled down?"

Raised voices could still faintly be heard from below and it made that sadness flash across Brittany's face again. Rachel frowned.

"What's going on with them? Why are they fighting?" The diva let Brittany lead her out of the bathroom into her bedroom. She had a horrible feeling she was somehow involved and couldn't bear the thought that any of the girls were hurting or upset because of her!

"Quinn's mad." Brittany plonked herself down in front of Rachel's DVD collection and started sifting through it.

"Why?" Her fear must have been evident in her tone because Brittany responded to her very thoughts.

"Not at you, I promise. It's because… because Santana forgets how to talk sometimes."

Rachel was glad for the clarification but it didn't make her feel any better to know Quinn and Santana were arguing. "How do you mean?"

Brittany shrugged. "Her head gets full of bad things and she can't think or talk or ask for help when she needs it, so she does whatever she can to get the bad things out of her again."

Rachel watched the girl closely as Brittany looked between two DVDs. "Okay… and what is it that she does?" She moved to sit beside the blonde.

Brittany glanced over at her, holding the diva's gaze for a moment or two before going back to the DVDs. Santana would probably be mad if she told Rachel the truth. It was a private thing, a thing that Santana wasn't proud of because she knew it hurt Quinn and Brittany too when she did it. But it was also something she couldn't control and it scared all of them. Especially because Quinn had similar tendencies and Santana had worked so hard to help her deal with them in a healthier way. It was just… sometimes, when things got really out of control and really bad, Brittany knew Santana couldn't see another way around it and it just happened.

If… if Rachel was going to be a part of their family then she was going to learn these things sooner or later. And it would probably be better for the girl if she didn't learn about it by accidentally walking in on one such moment because Brittany knew she would probably freak out and accidentally make things worse. Even if it didn't work out the way they wanted with Rachel, at least this way they would have one more person who understood and could look after Santana if her and Quinn weren't there… right? At least she hoped that's what Rachel would do, not just think Santana was crazy or dangerous and run away from her.

Brittany let out a sigh before turning her whole body to sit facing Rachel. The diva's eyes widened and she tensed up.

"I'm gonna tell you this because I trust that you care enough about Santana to want to keep her safe. Am I right?"

Rachel swallowed loudly but nodded. What the fuck could be so bad to get Quinn pissed off and Brittany so serious all of a sudden?

"Sometimes, when really bad stuff happens or when San has no control over her life, her head gets full of darkness and feelings pain. She's always had a hard time dealing with feelings, but it's not her fault, the world is broken and her parents aren't parents to her like yours are to you and mine are to me," Brittany sighed sadly. "San finds it easier to deal with physical pain so she uses it to distract her brain long enough to put the feelings pain in little boxes for later and to beat the darkness back again."

The frown on Rachel's brow was very prominent but Brittany gave her time to digest. She knew the second understanding hit the diva because her eyes went wide and she clutched at Brittany's arm, anguish plain on her face at the mere thought of the girl she lov- liked hurting herself.

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**AN: Feel free to let me know what you thought of the chapter, I know there's so much angst and hurtin' but I promise there's some fluff and more cuteness between the girls coming soon!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Apologies for the delay, meant to post it yesterday but it's been a very long weekend at work and I'm exhausted all the time right now. Man, do I miss doing nothing all day every day when I was off on sick leave *sigh * well work is shit as ever but I am very fond of one of my colleagues, she's lovely and we have awesome conversations so that made the weekend bearable. Plus we had a water gun fight with some of our customers so we were all soaked but it was hot AF all weekend so was kinda greatly appreciated XD had an awesome few days with a very lovely lady staying at my place with me last week, she was very distracting so I've done no writing in like a week (blame her!) but I'm getting back to it, I promise!**

**Anywho, as usual thank you so much to all the lovely people who reviewed and favourited and followed this story, you're all awesome and you make me wanna get writing and post even more =)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the TV in my house that my petty aunt is asking for back even though she gave it to me and hasn't used it in years. All because I'm keeping my distance from her cos she's not a nice person. Example? She's incredibly rude to servers and wait staff whenever we go out to eat so I can't deal with her anymore. I don't need that shit in my life.**

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**Trigger/Content warning: mentions of s*x and violence from previous chapters, as well as talk/scenes of mental health issues, self-harm, panic attacks and blood/wounds.**

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**Chapter Ten**

Quinn waited until she heard Rachel's bedroom door close and music start before she turned her hard stare on Santana.

"What the fuck, S?"

Santana scowled but didn't respond. She knew there was no point, Quinn was going to yell until she got it out of her system so she just had to let her do her thing. And anyway, she was just too fucking tired, and her head hurt something awful; going toe-to-toe with Quinn was a fucking marathon, that girl could argue forever if she wanted to.

"What the fuck did you do? Did you fucking hit him? Did you hit someone else? Or did you do your fucking dumbass trick of hitting inanimate objects again? Huh?" Quinn's eyes blazed as she yelled at her silent girlfriend. "You're a fucking idiot, Santana, why the fuck would you do that? Why the fuck would you hurt yourself when you still haven't fucking healed from the last bullshit you got yourself in the middle of?"

Quinn threw her hands in the air and started pacing, unable to stand still or even look at Santana anymore. Her anger was spilling over, forcing the words from her mouth, not giving her even a second to think because she just needed the Latina to see, to understand what she was doing.

"Why the fuck couldn't you talk to me? Talk to Britt? We were right fucking there and you just fucking walked away! All you had to do was just open your Goddamn mouth and say… say something! Anything! I would have done whatever I could to help you, you know that. But no, you're too fucking stubborn and prideful and selfish and you clearly don't give a fuck about us-" Quinn clamped her mouth shut, her wide eyes going to Santana.

The Latina wasn't looking at her anymore. She was staring straight ahead at the wall. A tear escaped from the corner of her eye when she blinked and wound its way down her cheek. Quinn knew she had fucked up immediately.

"I-I didn't mean that, S. You're not-not selfish, and Britt and I, we both know how much you care-" Quinn stammered out.

"Aren't I?" Santana asked, turning her blank eyes towards Quinn. "How can you know when all I do is hurt you and make you both worry?"

Quinn's heart clenched painfully, her face a mess of conflicting emotions. She took a few steps towards the Latina and stopped, gauging her reaction before moving again to stand in front of the girl.

"We know, Santana. Okay? You show us every day. It's just sometimes… you don't think before you do dumb shit. I know you can't help it, believe me, I understand better than anyone! But that's why you have us. And why I have you guys. We're supposed to be there for each other, dealing with things together, as a family. That's what you always tell us and you're right."

Santana shook her head, a frown on her face. "Maybe I'm not. You'd be better off without me, Q. All I do is make shit harder for you."

Anger surged through Quinn again. "How the fuck could you possibly ever think that? That's fucking bullshit and you know it, S. So stop fucking saying it, no, stop fucking thinking it altogether!" The blonde whirled and stalked away from Santana, fuming, hands clenched into fists at her sides as she fought to regain her composure. But it wasn't happening. "God, you fucking infuriate me sometimes, do you know that? You do all this shit for me, for Britt, even for Rachel, yet you won't ever fucking let us look after you. Why? Why is it so damn hard for you to just let us love you?"

Quinn rounded on Santana, eyebrows raised expectantly. Santana could only stare. The blonde growled in frustration, yanking a hand through her hair.

"You'd really rather fucking hurt yourself over and over than let your own girlfriends take care of you? You'd rather suffer in silence than ask for help from the people who love you most? Really? You talk the talk to us every day about being a family, trusting each other, relying on each other, but you can't walk the walk, can you?"

Quinn knew Santana would not answer her but she fell silent anyway, needing a second to get her anger in check again. She loved the girl more than she thought she could ever love another human being. She hated seeing Santana in pain, any kind of pain! Because it felt like she had failed as a girlfriend, like she wasn't good enough. Yeah, those were her own insecurities, she knew that. Santana had never once said anything to make her feel like that, nor had Brittany, yet still that niggling thought stayed lodged in the back of her mind, just waiting to drip poison into her thoughts, just waiting to force itself back to the front to make Quinn feel worthless and pathetic all over again. Often the thoughts sounded exactly like her father and when that happened it made her feel sick, it made her hate herself for still giving a fuck what he thought of her, it made her want to do anything she could to block it out…

So yeah, Quinn understood Santana. She knew that state of mind, the need to cause physical pain because at least that would heal and stop hurting again eventually. The emotional and psychological wounds stayed forever and took years of work and healing and love and therapy just to get the damn things to stop bleeding and finally scar over. She understood the reasoning behind it. She understood that it wasn't done to hurt her and Britt, nor was it done on purpose. She did not blame Santana for dealing with her feelings and trauma the way she did, just as she knew the girls would never blame or think less of her for doing the same.

What she didn't understand was why Santana did not seem to trust them enough to let them help her the way she helped them… That's all she wanted to do. Quinn just wanted to keep her family safe and together and happy. Because they deserved that, they deserved to be happy… didn't they?

Quinn sighed heavily, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her palms. She was so fucking exhausted all of a sudden. She just wanted to curl up in bed with her girls and sleep the weekend away safe in their arms. But first… first she needed to take care of the stubborn Latina.

"Let me see the damage. We need to get it cleaned up before it gets infected." She reached for the brunette's hand.

Santana jerked it away from her, folding her arms firmly and wincing when it throbbed. Quinn gave her a pointed look, eyebrow raised, which only made Santana scowl and clench her fists. A growl slipped out at the pain and Santana grit her teeth hard. Quinn's eyes widened and she held up her hands, a silent promise she wouldn't try it again.

They stared at each other for a long while. Quinn closed the distance between them slowly, coming to a halt only a few inches away from Santana. She dipped her head a little to press the softest kiss to the crook of the Latina's neck.

"I'm sorry, baby," Quinn murmured against her girlfriend's skin. "I won't yell anymore, I promise." She kissed her again and again, her lips sending shivers down Santana's spine as they moved up her neck. "I just want to take care of you." Her teeth tugged gently at Santana's earlobe earning her a stuttered sigh from the girl. "Please?"

Santana, uninjured hand moving to lose itself in Quinn's hair, groaned when the blonde pulled back and caught her wrist. "Tease."

Quinn shook her head. "Hand first, kisses after."

"That's what she said."

Quinn pursed her lips, unamused.

"Fine! Hand first," Santana rolled her eyes but a smile managed to find its way onto her face as the blonde linked their fingers together and tugged her into the kitchen.

Quinn opened cupboards and drawers until she found the first aid box. She ordered Santana over to the sink and ran the water until it was lukewarm. First aid at the ready, Quinn looked to the Latina for the go-ahead. Santana nodded, guilt darkening her face as Quinn finally got a look at the damage she had done to her hand. The blonde sucked in a sharp breath but said nothing. It wasn't bleeding any longer, the now-red towel had done its job there. But her knuckles were a mess, dried blood stained them, crusting around the cuts and grazes, bruising already starting to form.

"This is probably going to hurt," Quinn told the girl as she moved her hand towards the running water.

The hiss that escaped Santana made the blonde wince and curl her lip in sympathy. She very carefully cleaned the blood off, turning the water gradually back to cold in hopes that it would help with the swelling and bruising.

"Stay." Quinn commanded as she moved to get the paper towels from the furthest kitchen counter.

Santana allowed Quinn to meticulously dry her hand, trying her best not to flinch too hard or pull away. Her eyes stayed locked on the blonde as she worked. The concentration and concern on her face made Santana's heart swell. With gentle hands, Quinn used antiseptic wipes to clean any dirt or fibres from the cuts. It stung but Santana didn't quite mind so much when she noticed the way the blonde would grimace with her at the pain... They were connected. She understood now - her pain was Quinn's pain. Her anxiety was Quinn's anxiety. Her happiness was Quinn's happiness…

Everything she did affected her family. Everything she did had repercussions for them. The girls loved her unconditionally and completely, they trusted her and understood her… She could have kicked herself for being such a fucking moron for not realising sooner. But it wasn't entirely her fault, it's not like her birth family gave a damn about her or even spent enough time with her for her actions to have ever effected them in any way. Sure her father got pissed off at her when she caused trouble for him, but that was because she inconvenienced him, not because he gave a fuck about her.

These girls gave a fuck. They saw her and loved her anyway and, as confusing as that still was for Santana to comprehend, that meant the world to her. So why was she so damn set on keeping that last little bit of distance between them? She had come so fucking far, broken down so many walls. She had seen them prove how much they loved and trusted her every single day, so why could she not just let them in?

As she watched Quinn apply the Neosporin and carefully bandage her hand, it hit her. She did not trust herself not to hurt them. It wasn't about them hurting her, because she couldn't care less about that. No. Santana knew exactly what she was capable of, what she had done in the past, how much she had hurt people and how willing she still was to cause pain – Finn's face flashed in her mind then as if to prove her point. She knew she was capable of hurting the people she loved, never on purposed, but the thought still scared the ever-loving fuck out of her because she would rather die than let that happen. And yet… here they were. Quinn pissed and upset, Brittany and Rachel hiding upstairs from her… This wasn't right. She needed to do everything in her power to ensure this never happened again because of her. So that left her with a decision to make.

"There," Quinn smiled up at her, bandaged hand held very gently in her own. "All done." She bent her head and placed a kiss atop the bandage.

Santana couldn't help the grin that slipped onto her face. Quinn could go from screaming bloody murder and seething rage to soft and thoughtful in the space of a few minutes. Santana loved both, and everything in between. The girl kept her on her toes, kept her striving to be better, and for sure kept her in check! Her and Quinn were more similar than they would ever admit – both competitive, sharp-tongued, quick-tempered but sensitive, big-hearted and passionate too. But where Quinn had had to be rebuilt from the ground up, Santana needed to be dismantled piece by piece. And it was slower going than she had thought.

Santana sighed and took her hand back. "I don't want to keep hurting you. You deserve better-"

"No, S. What we deserve, and what we want, is for you to keep being yourself. You are the person we fell in love with, you are the person we trust, you are the person who always makes us feel safe and loved and cared for," Quinn stepped even closer to the Latina and wrapped her arms around her neck, dipping her head a little to meet Santana's troubled gaze. "All we need from you, my beautiful, stubborn girlfriend, is for you to just talk to us and let us in. We will never judge you or think any less of you, Santana, I promise." The blonde kissed the Latina softly on the lips. "Trust us. Please."

Santana melted into the kiss, pulling Quinn as close as she possibly could, hands curling around her waist. She expected the blonde to pull away… instead she opened her mouth to Santana, deepening their kiss and losing her hands in her dark hair. A moan slipped from Santana, spurring Quinn on. She loved the way Santana tasted, loved the feel of her tongue in her mouth, loved the way Santana would touch her - hands turning from soft and respectful to desperate and firm, but never pushing... The blonde broke the kiss and latched onto the sensitive skin of the brunette's neck, having thoroughly enjoyed the little noise she had earned earlier and seeking to replicate it. She kissed her way from ear to shoulder, tugging the girl's shirt out of her way so she could access even more skin. She had been so fucking scared and anxious about almost losing the girl that she had been tiptoeing around her all week, barely touching her in fear she might hurt her further. But fuck, had she missed her! She needed to taste every inch of her girlfriend, needed to hear her name slip from her lips at the height of her orgasm, needed to feel her tighten around her fingers, she needed it all so badly…

Santana gripped Quinn tight as the girl's tongue licked patterns across her shoulder and her teeth nipped at her. She was driving Santana slowly insane; moans and gasps leaked from her mouth at will. She vaguely felt Quinn start to unbutton her shirt, mouth following close behind her fingers as kisses covered every newly revealed inch of her. Next thing she knew her shirt was on the floor and Quinn was appraising her with hungry eyes.

"Fuck, S…"

The pure desire in Quinn's voice had Santana wet and a split second later she was tugging Quinn's shirt over her head and their mouths crashed back together. Santana knew they should stop, knew they were in the middle of the Berry's kitchen, knew this was not how her first time with Quinn should go… but when the blonde wrapped herself around her - skin warm and unbelievably soft against her own - and her mouth found its way back to Santana's neck, all teeth and tongue and sucking… fuck, what was she saying?

Santana held Quinn's head firmly in place, eyes closed, mouth open as she panted. She wanted the girl to mark her, she wanted to be claimed by Quinn, by Brittany, by… by Rachel. She hurt inside and out, but this was a good pain and she didn't want it to stop. Quinn had never let their make-out sessions get this far, had never even tried to give her a hickey before, never allowed Santana's hands to roam so freely across her body. It felt so fucking good and not just physically. It felt good to know the blonde trusted her so completely to let her guard down like this.

"Q-Quinn?"

Santana felt Quinn grinding against her then, hips jerking, searching for friction. A groan of relief quickly followed when Santana slid her own thigh between the girl's legs and, her hands firmly on the blonde's ass, rocked them together. She watched the pleasure flood Quinn's face with such reverence – Quinn's eyes were squeezed shut, her mouth open, lips swollen, hair a mess. She had never looked more beautiful, Santana thought as she captured the blonde's bottom lip and sucked it into her mouth, before nipping at it gently.

"Q… Quinn, baby, look at me," Santana begged the girl.

It took a minute but when she finally managed to pry her eyes open, Quinn saw her girlfriend's lust darkened eyes drinking her in. "I want you so fucking much, S. I don't care anymore, just please fuck me."

That's when Santana knew she had to be the clear-headed one and shut this down before they both did something they regretted. Not that she would ever regret anything she did with Quinn, not for a second. But she wanted to prove to the blonde that she wasn't just some fuckboy trying to get into her pants, like all the other pricks at their school. She wasn't going to let their first time together be anything less than perfect. She didn't just want to fuck Quinn, she wanted to prove how much she loved and cared for and respected her. She wanted to make love to her.

Santana smiled as Quinn kissed her hard and wet. She pulled back after a moment and cupped the girl's face in her hands. "I want you too, Q. So fucking badly for so fucking long now. But this is not the time, nor the place. You're upset, I'm injured still and Rachel and Britt are hiding from us upstairs. And knowing our luck Rachel's dads will probably walk in on us," she chuckled.

Quinn whined and ground down on Santana even harder. "S… please…"

It took every ounce of self-control Santana possessed to plant her hands on Quinn's shoulders and gently but firmly separate their bodies. Quinn tried to bring them back together but the Latina shook her head - this time she had to be in control.

"Come on, think with your head, mi amor," Santana held the blonde's lustful gaze, refusing to let them near each other again until she saw Quinn snap out of it.

Quinn closed her eyes and took deep, measured breaths until she was back in control and her horniness had abated a little. She still wanted Santana, still wished she would have fucked her then and there but the girl was right. Quinn's first time hadn't been special at all so she damn well wanted to make sure her second time was – although just the fact that it would be with Santana, someone she loved with all her being and who loved her, would make it perfect no matter the where, the when or the why. When she opened her eyes again, she found Santana watching her with a smile that made her heart ache with love.

"You good?"

Quinn nodded and a split second later she was being crushed in such a fierce hug.

"I love you so fucking much," Santana murmured. "I can't even bear to imagine my life without you in it."

Quinn frowned, something in the girl's voice didn't sit right with her. "Me either." She tried to pull away to look at her girlfriend but Santana just held on even tighter. "S?"

Santana shook her head and buried her face into Quinn's neck. "Just hold me for a minute, okay? I just need you to hold me."

So Quinn did, happily. Concern and a twinge of fear gnawed at her mind, she knew Santana better than she knew herself and she could tell there was something wrong. But all she could do was hope the Latina would come to them this time.

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When Santana and Quinn finally found their way up to Rachel's room, both fully clothed again, they found Brittany and Rachel curled up together on the bed, a movie playing on low in the background as they slept. The girls stood in the doorway for a moment, observing the sleeping two.

"What are we going to do, S?" Quinn lent into the Latina, who wrapped her arms around her from behind.

"I think we should join them. I'm fucking exhausted."

"That's not what I-"

"I know," Santana dropped a kiss onto the blonde's shoulder. "But I just need a few hours where shit doesn't hurt and I know everyone is safe because you're all in my arms, okay?" She sounded so tired and defeated.

Quinn turned in Santana's grip and put her own arms around the girl's neck. She gave her an understanding smile, kissing her once, twice on the lips. "I want that too." Quinn pulled away, hands trailing down Santana's arms until she could link their fingers and led the girl over to the bed.

They both kicked off their shoes and climbed carefully onto the bed. The tall blonde had Rachel flush against her, their legs tangled together and Rachel's face hidden in Brittany's chest. Quinn settled behind the dancer, Santana joining her a moment later and opening her arms for the blonde once she was comfortable.

"San? Quinn?" Brittany mumbled, craning her neck to see the girls behind her.

"We're here, Britt."

"Did you get all your shouting out?"

Quinn laughed quietly, shifting until she could see the dancer and plant a kiss on her cheek. "Yeah, it's all done now. I promise."

"I don't like it when you guys fight," Brittany sounded so sad.

Santana and Quinn shared a look – they both felt their hearts cracking and guilt eat at them. This wasn't news to them, they knew how anxious and upset it made Brittany when they fought. They always tried their best to minimise the damage – waiting until Brittany wasn't there or ensuring she couldn't hear them – but the dancer always knew and always took it to heart.

"We're sorry, Britt," Quinn found the dancer's thigh and gave it a comforting squeeze.

Santana watched her girlfriends guiltily. "We'll… I'll do better, I swear. I never want to hurt either of you but that's all I seem to do lately. You deserve the world so I'm gonna try my best to make sure you get it." Her face set in determination, mind made up. It wasn't a decision at all because Santana had no choice. She couldn't, and didn't want to, live without the girls by her side so she was going to do whatever the fuck it took to break down those last few walls that stood in their way. "I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

The blondes' eyes widened.

"What?" Panic coloured Quinn's voice as she exchanged a desperate glance with Brittany.

"What do you mean, San? Why would you go somewhere? You belong with us."

"Exactly! You fucking belong with us so don't you fucking dare-"

Santana quickly pressed her lips to Quinn's, stopping her before her voice got any louder and woke Rachel. "I said I'm not going anywhere. So take a chill pill."

Quinn scowled at her. "But you were fucking thinking about it… right?"

Santana couldn't meet either of the blondes' questioning gazes as she shrugged.

Quinn punched her in the arm. "Fucking asshole! This is exactly what I was talking about, you stubborn dumbass! That is a thing you need to be talking to us about."

"Ow!" Santana rubbed her arm. "And I know, why the fuck do you think I brought it up now, dipshit?"

Quinn opened her mouth to argue more but snapped it shut again. She narrowed her eyes at the Latina.

"You really wanna talk about it with us?" Brittany shifted carefully so she could see Santana better, a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"Well…" Santana chewed her lip as she chose her words. "Not talk exactly, because it's not a thing, I'm not going anywhere. But I wanted to try being a little more open about what's going on in my head – good and bad. The old me was a mouthy bitch, I had no problem telling people what I thought back then but now…" she trailed off with a deep frown marring her face.

"Now you're actually trying to be honest and not only is it terrifying, it can also leave you vulnerable if it's to the wrong person," Rachel shuffled up the bed a little so she could prop herself up on her elbow and see the Latina. She gave the girl an apologetic smile when Santana cocked her head at her. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to be nosy-"

"No, you're right, Rach," Santana shot her an appreciative smile at the realisation that the diva understood on a personal level. "It's fucking scary and I don't want to fuck it up because… because I could lose the most important people in my life. I learnt real quick that if you didn't want to get hurt it was better to be the one doing the hurting, because then people stayed away and didn't want you to be honest. But that's lonely and I'm done being lonely." She nodded firmly, meeting each girl's gaze in turn. "I want you in my life and I'll do whatever it takes."

* * *

"We're home!" Hiram called as he shut the front door behind them.

The Berry men found a strange car in their drive on their arrival and it took a moment before LeRoy recognised it as Santana's.

"Hi, Rach, is Santana here? Is she okay?" LeRoy shouted up the stairs as he took his jacket off and dropped his briefcase on the bottom step.

There came no reply so LeRoy took the stairs two at a time and stopped outside Rachel's room, listening carefully. Hearing nothing from inside, he slowly turned the handle and opened the door a crack. The sight that greeted him had him clutching his chest and grinning widely, his heart full. His little girl was fast asleep, sandwiched between Santana and Quinn, Brittany's arms almost encompassing them all, holding them together. They all looked so peaceful that he didn't have the heart to wake them. Especially Santana, he knew she hadn't been sleeping much as it was so she needed all the rest she could get.

LeRoy shut the door again silently and crept back downstairs to find his husband starting to cook.

"Is Santana staying for dinner?" Hiram asked over his shoulder as he rooted through the refrigerator.

"You might want to make enough for six of us, dear," LeRoy took Hiram's apron out of the drawer and put it on the man with a kiss to his cheek.

Hiram frowned and stopped to look at his husband. "Six? Oh! Brittany and Quinn are here too?"

LeRoy nodded, smiling.

"Excellent! I finally have an excuse to break out the good china!" Hiram bounced excitedly, pulling out the things he needed from the refrigerator and cracking on with a gleam in his eye and a grin on his face.

LeRoy couldn't help but swell with pride. His husband had been very untrusting and cold towards every potential love interest Rachel had ever brought home or introduced to them. When LeRoy had commented on this, Hiram had voiced that he had yet to be introduced to someone who was worthy of their daughter and whom he believed would treat her the way she deserved to be treated, not only as a woman but as the star she is and the star she was destined to be.

So the fact that Hiram was so open to these three girls said a lot. Although they had only met them a week ago and seen them only briefly on the way to and from school since then, Hiram was an incredibly good judge of character and could always tell when someone was lying to him. He had taken to Quinn immediately, finding the girl intelligent and polite. And he loved conversing with Brittany, enjoying her unusual way of looking at the world and her immeasurable kindness. However he had not had much of a chance to interact with Santana yet so he was hoping tonight he would get a read on the girl and get to know her a little. Especially since she seemed to have won over his little girl and his husband so quickly.

* * *

Rachel awoke with a start, her heart in her throat as the remnants of a nightmare still held her hostage. She sat bolt upright struggling to draw in air and panic started to set in. A moment later she felt Santana's arms around her, pulling her into her lap, Rachel's back flush against Santana's chest.

"You're okay, Rach. Just breathe with me." The Latina placed her right palm firmly against the diva's chest and held her tight to her so the girl could feel her own chest rise and fall.

Rachel's fingers dug into Santana's legs painfully but she didn't flinch.

"In… Out… In… Out… you got it, Rach. Keep going, I'm right here, okay?" Santana pressed a soft kiss to Rachel's ear.

The diva's heart fluttered and her stomach squirmed. Even with her lungs out of her control - for the second time in a week now - Rachel's body reacted to Santana's touch how it always did and that helped ground her. It was familiar and she needed it right now.

"Again. Please." Rachel managed to gasp out between sharp breaths.

Santana thankfully understood and a second later she was leaving a trail of kisses on the diva's ear, down her neck and along her shoulder, before working her way back up again. Rachel's eyes slid closed as she concentrated on the way Santana's mouth felt on her skin, how each kiss was like a little spark of electricity jump starting her heart back into normal rhythm. She arched back into the Latina, resting her head on her shoulder and grasping the hand of Santana's that was still stationed on her chest. Slowly her breathing returned to normal.

"Better?" Santana's voice came quiet and husky at her ear and made her clench her thighs together.

"If I say no will you keep kissing me like that?"

Santana's chuckle sent another shot of heat between her legs and made her squirm.

"All you gotta do is ask, mi Estrella, I'm happy to kiss you whenever you want," The Latina wrapped both arms securely around the diva and dropped her chin onto her shoulder.

Rachel reached back and lost her fingers in Santana's hair, turning her head enough to be able to place a kiss of her own on the girl's cheek. "That is certainly useful information to possess, thank you."

Santana grinned, relief flooding her body. It definitely sounded as if Rachel was okay now and that's all that counted. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"About…?"

"The nightmare."

"Oh." Rachel took her head off Santana's shoulder and sighed, rubbing her eyes.

"Hey, no pressure, okay?" Santana released the girl and sat back on her hands, afraid she had pushed too hard too fast. "But we're here if you need us."

Before Rachel could respond there came the distinct sound of laughter and the clank of pots and pans below them. Rachel's eyes went wide as she scrambled to find her cell phone. She blinked in the sudden brightness of it, Santana grumbling behind her, and saw the time. Her fathers had already been home for a good hour or so, it was twilight outside her windows.

"Oh God, what am I going to tell them? How am I going to explain what happened?" The words tumbled from Rachel before she could stop them, fear gripping her. "What will they think of me? I can't go down there, I just can't-"

"Hey, no, no, Rach, come on! Take a breath please," Santana turned the girl around to face her and saw the look of sheer panic in her eyes. Her heart ached for the diva. She wished she could take that panic, take the nightmares and the pain and the memories as her own so that Rachel didn't have to go through it. But she couldn't. All she could do was support the girl unconditionally and be by her side every step of the way.

"What's going on? What's happened?" Quinn was awake and in fight mode as she instantly clocked Rachel's anxiety.

"Rachel's dads are home."

"Oh… Oh!" Understanding hit the blonde and she slipped her hand into Rachel's, the diva holding on tightly as soon as she did.

"I can't do it. I can't go down there and look them in the eyes and tell them… tell them… I just can't!" Rachel's breathing started getting laboured again, coming fast and sharp.

"Rachel, look at me," Santana took the girl's face in her hands and waited until their eyes met. She spoke softly but firmly. "You are not alone. You don't have to do or say anything, we can explain for you if you need us to. Yeah, your dads are gonna be upset and angry, but not at you. That much I know for sure. They love you and they want only the best for you. Okay? Trust me."

Rachel gripped Santana's arm and leant forward until she could press their foreheads together. She took a deep breath and let it out very slowly. "I do trust you."

Santana felt her heart swell. A beaming smile lit her face. "We'll be by your side for as long as you need us to be."

"We got you, Rachel," Quinn gave the diva's hand a squeeze.

Rachel turned a little, forehead still pressed to Santana's, and gave the blonde a weak but appreciative smile. Quinn returned it and brought the diva's hand up to her lips for a kiss. All her guilt and anger of earlier came screaming back to Quinn when Rachel's sad eyes had met her own then. She shouldn't have let her go off alone, she should have stayed with her, she should have killed Finn after he had hurt Santana then this wouldn't have happened… she spiraled into darkness before she could stop herself.

"Quinn?" Rachel frowned at the sudden strange look she saw in the blonde's eyes.

"Q? Fuck. No, come on, come back to me, mi feroz león," Santana took up Quinn's free hand and massaged circles into it with her thumb, her other hand cupping the girl's face, thumb stroking her cheek softly.

"What's going on?" A sleepy Brittany sat up behind Quinn, rubbing her eyes. She took in the scene before her and realised immediately what was happening. She scooted up behind Quinn, a leg either side of her, and slipped both hands under her shirt to rub her back, fingernails lightly grazing her skin.

Slowly Quinn managed to shake off the awful, painful thoughts, shoving them to the back of her mind, focusing instead on the three beautiful girls grounding her, watching her with concern. "Sorry," she murmured.

Santana wrapped Quinn and Brittany in one big hug. She needed the blonde, both blondes, with her to get through this. "I know you blame yourself, Q, I blame myself too. But the blame is not ours. You did everything you could to keep her safe and you've been so goddamn strong this week. We're gonna talk about this and work through it, okay, mi amor? I promise. First we got another battle to fight though."

Rachel watched the girls hold each other desperately and felt her still pounding heart break for them. In that moment she understood how damaged yet big-hearted they really were, and why they had spent so many years crafting that perfect armour of indifference, bitchiness and anger. If they hadn't, she was quite certain that the world would have swallowed them whole years ago. But they had survived and found their safe place in each other so that finally they had a chance to breathe and be vulnerable. She wondered if they might have room in their hearts for one more… because every moment she spent with the little family she was becoming more and more certain that her own heart had more than enough space for all of them.

* * *

**AN: I really hope you guys are all still enjoying this! I'm gonna write as much as I can before I start my Masters at the end of September but if you guys want more let me know and I'll do my absolute best to keep this going. I love this story and these characters so I'ma keep writing as much as I can but everyone's support and kind words always give me that little bit of motivation I need too =)**

**Peace Out.**

**Maxx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Since I just finished chapter twelve and I'ma be busy as fuck all next week, I wanted to get this one posted for you guys =) finally had some time to myself this weekend, I'm fucking shattered so two days in bed, with only my furbabies and my laptop was sorely needed. People, and life in general, exhaust me. **

**Thank you so much to everyone who has left me reviews, you guys don't know how much your lovely words mean to me! I still doubt myself and my writing, especially after reading copious amounts of brilliantly written fanfic on here these last few weeks! But your reviews give me that little bit of confidence I need to keep striving to get better =) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Wish I did. I woulda treated the characters SO much better than the actual writers *sigh ***

* * *

**Content Warning: Talk/mentions of assault, mental health issues, injuries, **

**Chapter Eleven**

"Ahh here they are!" Hiram threw his arms wide in welcome as the four girls appeared at the kitchen doorway. "Perfect timing, dinner is almost ready. Rach, do you want to help your father with the table? We're using the good china for this very special occasion!" He grinned giddily.

Rachel glanced nervously at the girls stood beside her. "Can… Can I talk to you and daddy first?"

Hiram stiffened at the edge he noted in his daughter's voice. He immediately switched the stove off and turned to face the four girls stood staring at him. "LeRoy! Get in here now." He couldn't keep the slightly panic-y tone from his voice.

LeRoy appeared a second later, eyes wild. "What? What?" He spotted the girls and visibly relaxed, a smile slipping onto his face. "Well good evening everyone, how are we?" When no one answered, or made eye contact with him, his smile slowly faded. "What's going on? Rachel?"

Rachel flinched as he turned his gaze on her. Santana slipped her hand into the diva's and gave a gentle squeeze, Quinn followed suit while Brittany's hands rested comfortingly on her shoulders.

"Um… something-something happened at school today that I-I wanted to speak to you both about…"

When she didn't continue LeRoy cleared his throat and stepped closer to his husband. "Okay… we are your captive audience, Rach."

The diva nodded a few times absent mindedly as she got up the courage to keep talking. "I would also appreciate it greatly if you would hold all questions until the end."

The Berry men exchanged a confused look but both agreed readily.

"Well…" Rachel took a deep breath. "While we were at school today there was an incident involving… involving Finn."

LeRoy frowned, his eyes expertly assessing the four girls for any wounds or injuries but found nothing... his gaze landed on Santana's bandaged hand and his heart sunk. The girl did not need any more injuries than she already had, as if her week wasn't shitty enough as it was! "What sort of incident? Involving whom?" He asked pointedly looking at Santana.

"LeRoy! No questions until the end!" Hiram hissed at his husband, anxiously motioning for his daughter to go on. He was freaked out and just needed her to tell them what happened because it couldn't be worse than what he was picturing in his head.

"Sorry, sorry!" LeRoy held up his hands and fell silent.

Rachel gave her dad a small smile and pushed on, her voice getting quieter and quieter as she went. "The incident involved Finn and… and myself. He-He found me in the Auditorium at lunch, he had orchestrated a plan to remove Brittany and Quinn from my side so that he could get me alone. Then he… then he…" Her voice failed her and she looked pleadingly at Santana.

The Latina nodded and steeled herself to be as matter-of-fact as she could because if the thought of what happened made her feel sick and want to punch the fuck outta Finn then she could only imagine how much worse it would be for Rachel's fathers. She straightened and spoke clearly, reciting the story exactly how it had been told to her by Brittany. As she spoke she saw the men's faces darken, flitting between horrified and angry every few seconds. Hiram had a hand covering his agape mouth, eyes filling with tears, as his husband's hands balled into fists at his sides.

"…So I told Principal Figgins about Finn assaulting me last week and he suspended him indefinitely and banned him from school grounds while they investigate all this. I… I'm so sorry I didn't speak up sooner." Santana suddenly couldn't bring herself to look at the men, her own guilt eating at her. "You were right, Doctor Berry. I should have done something about him, he needed to be held responsible for his actions but my-my dumbass pride got in the way and now this…" She glanced sideways at the diva next to her. Rachel was looking up at her with such trust, such appreciation, when all this could have been avoided if the Latina had just swallowed her fucking pride sooner. Santana's voice was strained. "I could've stopped this… but I will do whatever I can to make this right. I know it's too little too late but-"

LeRoy held up a hand and Santana instantly snapped her mouth shut, swallowing hard as silence fell. Rachel's grip on the girls' beside her was getting tighter and tighter until she was all but crushing their hands. Neither Quinn nor Santana could look at the Berry men. Brittany rocked anxiously on the balls of her feet, her eyes going back and forth between everyone in the room so quickly that anyone else would have been dizzy.

The room felt more and more claustrophobic the longer the silence stretched on – the walls seemed to warp and crush in on them, the atmosphere was thick and heavy, like gasoline had been poured everywhere and any moment now someone was going to light a match and the whole house would go up in flames... The only sound was their breathing and pounding hearts – Rachel willed her fathers to say something, even to shout at her because that would be better than this awful, uncertain silence!

LeRoy, eyes closed, pinched the bridge of his nose so hard his fingers started to go white. He was trying to keep his breathing under control as Santana's words went around and around in his head, images of the giant brute of a boy forcing himself onto his little girl burned into his mind forever. His anger almost ate him alive and, if it hadn't been for the barely contained sobs he could hear from his husband beside him, he knew he would have gotten into his car, driven over to the boy's house, ripped his disgusting, disrespectful tongue from his mouth and throttled the life out of him. And he would have happily gone to prison for it. He wanted the boy to suffer ten, no, a hundred, no, a billion times what he put Rachel through!

Hiram found LeRoy's hand and entwined their fingers together as tight as he could. His other hand still covered his mouth as he fought to hold in his tears. He knew how hard this must have been on the girls, on Rachel especially, telling them and having to go through it. He needed them both to be strong for the moment because their daughter was looking at them with her huge watery brown eyes, pale as a ghost, as if somehow it were all her fault, as if somehow this would make them not love her anymore… they needed to keep it together for her. Later, when they were in bed together, then they could process and feel all that they needed to. But for now…

Hiram cleared his throat and took a step towards the girls, pulling LeRoy with him. "I know how… how difficult that must have been to tell us, so thank you, all of you." Four pairs of eyes homed in on him. "Rachel, our darling daughter, you are so precious to us and we would do anything at all to keep you safe, to keep you happy and ensure you know how much you are loved every single day. I need you to hear me when I say this," Hiram held his daughter's gaze and poured as much love as he could into his own. "None of this is your fault. None. Your body is yours and yours alone. No one should ever try and take that from you and if they do, it is not because of anything you have done. It is because they are a selfish, worthless pile of human-shaped trash not worth your time-"

Rachel was in Hiram's arms before he could even finish his sentence. She clung to him and he to her, neither able to hold back their tears then. LeRoy wrapped them both up in his strong arms and held them close, his anger momentarily forgotten at the sound of his family's pain. He could plot Finn's death later. Right now his family needed him more than they ever had before.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement as the three girls disappeared from the kitchen to give them some privacy.

* * *

Santana flopped onto the couch in the Berry's living room but immediately got up again with a hiss of pain as she knocked her throbbing shoulder. She clenched her teeth together and squeezed her eyes shut as she rode out the waves of pain radiating from it, her head and hand joining the party too because of fucking course. She felt hands cupping her face tenderly.

"San?" Brittany's worried voice came from in front of Santana. "Tell me what you need me to do to make it better."

Santana's lips curved a little at the love she heard and how earnest the tall blonde was to help, but this was her own fault for not bringing her damn meds with her and for being so fucking reckless. She shook her head and finally managed to pry her eyes open. Brittany was watching her, blue eyes so wide and so deep that Santana could happily fall into them forever. She curled her good hand around the back of the dancer's neck and tugged until their mouths met. Santana felt Brittany smile against her lips and wrap both arms so carefully around her neck. Their bodies melded perfectly together, flush against one another, as they breathed each other in so deeply and savoured the moment.

Kissing Brittany always felt like home, safety, peace... like magic to Santana. She had loved the tall blonde for as long as she could remember, and had somehow just known instinctively that she would be safe, like really, truly, be-yourself-without-repercussions safe with her. She knew that if it hadn't been for Brittany, her life would have gone a very different way, a much darker way. Brittany grounded her and made her feel light as a feather at the same time. She made her feel like she could do anything and that she wanted to strive to learn and grow and be better every day for her. When Brittany loved it was with every part of her heart, soul, body and mind.

At first it had scared the fuck outta Santana, that sort of intense love and trust was foreign to her. She didn't exactly get that shit from her family so she didn't know how to deal with it. But even when Santana had tried to push Brittany away, when she had tried to convince herself it was nothing, the tall blonde's love and trust had never wavered once. Slowly, so slowly, Brittany's unending patience and belief in Santana had proved to the Latina that the tall blonde was someone incredibly special and if she lost her or let her go, she would never find someone like her ever again. So she had made her mind up to do anything she could to hold onto the beautiful, incredible, loving person that was Brittany S. Pierce.

Santana knew all she had to do was reach out and Brittany would be there without question, with love in her eyes and a safe space in her arms. The Latina felt the dancer tug at her bottom lip as she pulled away to rest their foreheads together. Brittany dropped another few soft kisses on Santana's lips as the Latina hazily opened her eyes, fighting the tingling and the buzz at the base of her skull that Brittany always caused when they kissed like that.

"Better?" The dancer asked hopefully.

"A little, how about you do it again?" Santana couldn't help returning Brittany's beaming smile.

"How about I actually just go get your meds so you can take them?" Quinn arched an eyebrow at her girlfriends from where she sat on the couch.

"Where's the fun in that, Q?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe in the fact that you won't end up back in hospital with an infection or in screaming agony again and give me my fucking second heart attack today?" Quinn shrugged nonchalantly but her voice was laced with sarcasm and barely suppressed anger.

She couldn't help glaring up at the girls locked in their embrace. Still her stubborn girlfriend wasn't taking her recovery seriously and it made her want to fucking scream. Why did she still not seem to give a fuck about herself? Quinn let out an angry huff and folded her arms across her chest as she sat back with a scowl. Santana exchanged a glance with Brittany, who just gave her a nudge towards Quinn.

"Hey."

Quinn didn't answer.

Santana crouched down in front of her, hands bracing herself on the couch either side of Quinn's legs. "I didn't mean to make it seem like I don't give a fuck about all this, or that I'm not taking things seriously, because I am. I know I need to get better so you both stop worrying so much."

"Is that it?" Quinn's head snapped up to look at Santana. "Is that the only reason?"

Santana blinked at her. "Well… I wanna be back at school with you guys, I wanna perform at Regionals with everyone, I wanna be there for Rachel, I wanna-"

"Don't you want to get better for yourself? Don't you want to not be in pain? Don't you want to be okay again?" Quinn insisted. "Don't you give a fuck about yourself?"

"I mean… well…"

"I want the truth, S."

Santana swallowed hard and averted her eyes. "No. Outside of being able to protect and be there for you guys, no. I don't give a fuck about myself."

Quinn and Brittany's faces fell as they processed Santana's words; they finally understood so much about the girl.

"But why?" Brittany crouched down beside Santana, her hand gripping the Latina's shoulder so tightly. "You're so awesome, San. You're so full of love, and so kind and sweet to us. You should be like that to yourself too!"

"You spent so fucking long helping me find my self-worth again this summer, S. You've done so fucking much for all of us, you're our fucking world and you don't even realise it, do you?" Quinn gripped Santana's chin and made her look up at her. What Quinn saw in the Latina's eyes broke her heart – Santana truly meant what she had said. "You are allowed to be selfish sometimes, it's not always a bad thing. Isn't that what you told me?"

"If you don't look after you then you're not gonna be around to look after us, San," Brittany rested her chin on Santana's shoulder, watching her intensely. "And maybe that's selfish of us to want you around, but…"

"But we wouldn't be the Unholy Trinity without you," Quinn finished. "We wouldn't be a family without you." The blonde mumbled against Santana's lips as they kissed soft and slow.

Santana pulled away abruptly with a shake of her head, a frown marring her face. "Selfish is the exact thing I'm trying not to be! My father is fucking selfish and I hate his Goddamn guts for it! I can't be like him, Q. I can't. And if I start to put myself first then I might-"

"No you won't, S. You are nothing like that prick, I promise you!" Quinn tried to pull them back together but Santana stood and stepped away, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. "S…"

"Not today, Q. Please." Santana begged, voice strained and quiet, exhaustion hitting her like a freight train. "I can't… I can't deal with any more today, my head fucking hurts so much from everything. I can't deal with this right now too. So please-"

"Okay," Quinn held her hands up in surrender as she stood and approached the Latina hesitantly. "I know, baby. I just want this fucking day, this fucking week to be over already."

"Me too." Brittany murmured, rolling her stiff shoulders, a yawn prying her mouth open without permission.

Quinn stretched her hand out to Santana. The Latina considered it, tired eyes flickering up to the blonde's face to hold her apologetic gaze. After what seemed like an eternity, Santana slipped her own hand into Quinn's and let her lead them all back to the couch. Santana flopped down again, not even caring about her shoulder, it couldn't hurt worse than it already did. She pulled Brittany down into her lap and circled an arm around her waist, holding her as close as she possibly could; the dancer leaned heavily into her, head on Santana's shoulder as her eyes slid shut. Quinn settled beside her girlfriends, back against them and Santana's arm draped over a shoulder, across her chest and down to link her finger's with the blonde's own where her hands rested in her lap.

Their earlier nap had barely taken the edge off, and now that the adrenaline had worn off from the confrontation with the Berry clan, all three were crashing hard. Brittany already breathing deep and even, fast asleep as soon as her head his Santana's shoulder. Quinn could barely keep her eyes open; she brought Santana's hand to her lips for few sweet kisses and allowed the reassuring weight of the Latina's arm around her make her feel safe enough to drift off too. Santana sat there, head falling back on the couch, eyes staring blankly at the wall. She listened to her family breathe for a long time, matched her own rhythm to theirs and used it to try and block out the pain.

Sleep would not come though. All she could think was that she needed all her family with her, she needed all of them safe in her arms, and… and Rachel wasn't there. Now that she knew how it felt to fall asleep with the diva, with all three of them at her side, she just knew she would not be able to sleep properly any other way. But Rachel needed time with her dads, and this was just Santana being selfish, wanting what she couldn't have. And she did want that, wanted Rachel to be a part of their family, so fucking badly it hurt.

It also scared her a little that she wanted it so much, because she had no idea if Rachel would even accept them completely, never mind consent to be a part of their complex, dysfunctional, little family. And she was too afraid to ask that question because if the answer was no… she thought that might hurt more than never knowing at all. But after everything that had happened today – the way her heart had fucking shattered into a million pieces at seeing Rachel hurt and upset – Santana knew she couldn't deny the way she felt about the diva anymore.

* * *

The Berry family stayed stood in the middle of their kitchen, arms around each other protectively, comfortingly, for a long time. Eventually their tears ran dry and the men stopped feeling like their entire world was collapsing around them. When they felt Rachel's breathing even out they pulled away just a touch so they could see her.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Hiram dropped a kiss onto his daughter's head, his voice gentle.

Rachel took a deep breath and let it out slowly, counting to ten before she looked up at her fathers, the brightest smile she could manage on her face. "A little better now, thank you, dad."

Hiram returned the smile fondly, his eyes softening at the girl's attempt to be brave for them. "Good. I… I know everything is still fresh and very painful right now so we do not have to talk about anything until you are ready but your father and I need you to know that we are here. For anything. No matter what."

"And we will always love you, Rachel. No matter what." LeRoy bent to kiss his daughter's head too, earning him a smile from her. "I won't lie to you, I am beyond angry about the situation and I- we will do everything in our power to make this right for you. But the choices are entirely yours to make, okay?"

Rachel gulped back the lump in her throat. "I-I'm not ready, I don't…" She shook her head hard as if she were an etch-a-sketch and it could dissolve the awful images in her mind.

"It's okay, Rach. You do not have to do anything you don't want to, but we just want you to know you have options." Hiram peered cautiously at his daughter, anguish oh-so obvious on her face. "I know Santana has already started something going with your Principal but you do not have to speak to anyone or be involved in any way. As your father, and your lawyer, I will do everything I possibly can to keep you safe."

Rachel's eyes lit up at the mention of Santana and her head whipped around to try and spot the girls. She frowned, panic seeping in when she could not see them. LeRoy noticed and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I didn't hear the front door open so they're probably still here." LeRoy reassured her. "Go on, go find them."

Rachel turned but hesitated, glancing back at her fathers. "Are… Are you sure?"

LeRoy chuckled, putting his arm around his husband's shoulders and nudging his daughter with his other. "We'll be okay, and we aren't going anywhere. So go on."

"They are lovely girls, Rach," Hiram called after her causing Rachel to pause in the doorway. "I hope they stick around."

Rachel beamed back at him. That was pretty much her dad's seal of approval - none of her boyfriends or other love interests had ever managed to get so much as a smile out of him! And yet these three girls he'd only met a week ago had already managed to acquire such high praise… they really were special and Rachel was so glad her father could see that too.

Rachel dashed upstairs and into her bedroom, expecting them to be there but when they weren't a pang of loss stabbed at her. She trudged back downstairs and into the living room hoping… relief washed over her when she spotted them fast asleep together on the couch. Her heart swelled in her chest and she had to take a few moments to fight off the overwhelming urge to join them. Instead, she crept over and bent to press a kiss to Brittany's cheek, one to Quinn's forehead and one to Santana's too.

When she pulled back, she found Santana watching her with such an intense look in her dark eyes. It took Rachel's breath away and sent a bolt of arousal straight between her legs. God, why could the Latina affect her so much with just a look? She swallowed hard and tried, unsuccessfully, to tear her eyes away from Santana's.

"My apologies, I didn't mean to disturb you, Santana." Rachel kept her voice quiet, conscious of the sleeping blondes.

"You didn't. I couldn't fall asleep without…" Santana's mouth made shapes for a few seconds but no further words came out.

Rachel cocked her head, curious, wanting to get the girl, with the dark circles under her eyes, anything she needed to get some rest. Then it dawned on her. "Did you bring your medication with you?"

Santana hesitated before shaking her head, averting her eyes from Rachel.

"Oh, Santana, you must be in so much pain, I'm so sorry, I didn't even think! I can ask my dad if he has anything to help?" The diva felt awful, she had been so caught up in her own drama and need to have Santana with her that she hadn't even realised how much pain she must have been causing every time she hugged the girl, or when she had fallen asleep on top of her… Her body suddenly remembered how that had felt and ached to have Santana under her again, halting her train of anxious and guilt-ridden thoughts.

Santana's eyes zeroed back in on the diva when she stopped talking all of a sudden and she couldn't help but note the way Rachel was looking at her – longingly, desperately… Fuck, she was wet all of a sudden… No. She did her best to shut those thoughts down immediately. That was the fucking last thing the diva needed after having a lumbering giant trying to force himself on her! Jesus, what the fuck was wrong with her? She tore her gaze from Rachel's and shut her eyes tight, trying to pull her shit together.

Rachel frowned. "Santana?" She could have sworn that she saw her own need mirrored in the Latina's eyes for a second but… was that not what Santana wanted? "Hey," She moved to kneel by the arm of the couch next to Santana, Brittany's back to her, eyes glued to the girl willing her to turn and look at her.

Santana shook her head slowly, muttering something to herself under her breath so Rachel couldn't quite catch it.

The diva's heart hammered in her chest. "I'm really glad you're still here," she breathed, longing to have Santana's eyes on her again even for just a few seconds. She loved those eyes so much and she always felt safe and seen when they were watching her. "Thank you for everything today. I do not think I could have gotten through it without you, all of you."

Santana's eyes snapped open and focused in on the girl beside her. Rachel felt her breath catch in her throat.

"If it weren't for us you probably wouldn't have been in this fucked up situation in the first place," Santana spoke with such conviction and it confused Rachel. "If I hadn't stuck my fucking nose in where it didn't belong and hadn't riled Hudson up then he probably woulda just gone on moping and giving you puppy dog eyes instead of…" Santana's face darkened and she looked away.

Rachel surged forward and cupped the Latina's cheek, turning her back to face her. "That's not how I see it, Santana. Not at all."

"But how can you not see it like that, Rach? So much bad shit has happened to you since we barged into your life!"

Rachel let out a soft laugh. "Bad shit was happening long before you three wonderful people became such a big part of my life. It's just now you're noticing it because you're caught up in it too. If anyone is apologising here it should be me."

Santana raised an eyebrow at her skeptically. "And what the fuck do you have to apologise for?"

"Finn's my ex-boyfriend. It's me he's been after this whole time. Then you came into my life and got in his way. You cared about me and looked out for me, you made me feel safe and happy… all the things he never did. So he made you pay for it," Rachel's fingers lightly grazed Santana's scalp until she found the very edge of the stitches still in the girl's hair. "And you're still paying for it, Santana. You should be home, taking your meds, recovering in bed with your family. Instead you're here, on my uncomfortable couch, in a great deal of pain, feeling guilty for something that is not your fault."

Rachel's fingers were massaging gentle little circles into Santana's scalp making it near impossible to string any coherent thought together. Her eyes fluttered closed on their own accord as a shiver of pleasure ran down her spine at the touch. She fought to control herself, she really did, but when Santana finally managed to pry her eyes open again it was to see Rachel only inches from her, hooded eyes trained on Santana's face.

"Fuck, Rach. You're not making this fucking easy for me," Santana murmured, shifting a little under Brittany as she felt herself clench.

Rachel shook her head, not understanding, as her eyes flitted to Santana's, then down to her lips. The diva dragged her tongue so slowly across her bottom lip, wetting it and forcing a whimper from Santana. Those dark eyes, those full lips, that low, husky voice, all of it drove Rachel to distraction.

"Can I kiss you?"

Santana's eyes widened. "Are you… sure?"

"Please…" Rachel inched forward, closing the gap to almost nothing.

Santana swallowed thickly and nodded. Rachel did not waste another moment, she pressed her mouth to Santana's, taking the girl's plump bottom lip between her own two. Santana reacted immediately, enthusiastically kissing her back, bandaged left hand freeing itself from around Brittany to curl around the back of Rachel's neck. The diva bit down gently at Santana's lip before swiping her tongue along it and earning herself a little moan from the girl. It only served to egg Rachel on to deepen the kiss, needing to taste the Latina, needing to imprint everything about her into her mind so that maybe it could erase her earlier unwanted kiss… that thought made her flinch and she felt Santana stiffen and start to pull away.

"No, please, don't…" Rachel fought to keep their mouths together but Santana was just that bit stronger than her and separated them with a firm hand on Rachel's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Rach, I shouldn't have-"

"It wasn't you! You did nothing wrong, I swear! Please just kiss me…" The diva tried to bring them back together desperately.

"Rach, mi estrella, I am so sorry-"

"Please don't be sorry, Santana, you are so incredible, and soft and sweet. You're perfect," The last words came out as a whisper as Rachel pleaded with the girl. "I just…"

Santana cocked her head a little, appraising the conflicted, anguished girl still struggling against her grip to get closer. "Talk to me, Rach. Tell me what's going on in your head, maybe I can help."

The Latina's earnest gaze stopped Rachel's movements suddenly. She blinked at her, considering her words. Her mouth opened and closed soundlessly. Try as she might she just couldn't make the words come out, she was afraid she would hurt Santana, or make her angry, or that she would think less of Rachel after… after she voiced her thoughts.

Santana waited patiently.

"I…" Rachel sucked in a breath and just blurted it out. "I need to get the taste of Finn out of my mouth and the memory of him touching me out of my head before it permanently engraves itself in my memory and ruins all future romantic relationships for me." She peered guiltily at Santana through her eyelashes to see the girl looking at her with raised eyebrows. "And… and you make me feel safe, you are the person I think about almost every second of the day. I just want you to kiss me until I can't think any more and hold me until I forget that he ever touched me."

Rachel waited with baited breath, hardly daring to look up at Santana, afraid to see her reaction to her garbled confession. She heard Santana laugh quietly and remove her hand from the diva's shoulder.

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" Santana smiled gently at her when Rachel finally looked up, the Latina's eyes twinkling. "And it's definitely something I can help with." Santana patted her lap.

Rachel looked confused, the girl's lap was already claimed. "But-"

"Britt won't mind, I promise. She's dead to the world anyway, I'm pretty sure she could sleep through the apocalypse!" Santana chuckled, brushing the tall blonde's hair out of her eyes and tucking it behind her ear tenderly.

"N-No, I meant won't I hurt you? You have two people on you already and you're still injured."

"Oh." Santana considered it before shrugging. "I can deal."

Rachel didn't need telling twice! She straightened up and moved to stand in front of the couch, her eyes assessing the best route she could take that would cause the least disturbance… After some calculations and an eye roll from Santana as she shifted Brittany's legs off her and slid her over so she was half on the arm of the couch and half on Santana now, Rachel carefully slotted herself in between the two blondes. Rachel's back against Santana's shoulder and chest as she half turned towards the Latina, Quinn's head now resting on the diva instead. She wriggled in the girl's lap to get comfortable but stopped as soon as she heard her grunt behind her.

"My apologies, Santana, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Oh, you didn't, Rach. But you really should stop that unless you plan on finishing the job!"

Rachel blushed furiously, feeling herself throb at the thought of finishing Santana…

Santana nuzzled into Rachel's neck, bringing the diva out of her lustful daydreaming. "So… I'm sorta at your mercy here, huh?" The Latina looked pointedly at her arms wrapped around and trapped by either blonde. "But you have my full consent to kiss me until you can't think any more, okay?"

Rachel couldn't help but mirror the other girl's grin. She marvelled at the stark difference between Finn and Santana. Even with all their turbulent history from the previous year, and the amount of grief she had caused the Unholy Trinity so far this year, Rachel trusted the girl, trusted all of them completely. And even though Finn was physically bigger and stronger than Santana, she felt safer with the girl than she ever had with him. She knew Santana would go to the mat for her, she knew all of them would, because they already had time and time again. Finn had never and would never, too concerned with his precious reputation.

She knew Santana had her demons, knew sometimes she couldn't control her mind or the way she responded to things, she knew there were a lot of walls to break through and a lot to learn… but Rachel wasn't afraid any more. She would happily whack away with a sledgehammer for as long as it took. She would happily read volume after volume until she had finished them all. She just wanted to feel the way she felt right then – in Santana's lap, her fingers lost in the girl's hair, mouth savouring every single kiss they shared, the two blondes warm and solid against her – for the rest of her life.

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**AN: I hope you guys are enjoying getting to know the girls! I've just realised how many chapters are dedicated to this one, very long Friday! There are at least two more chapters to come XD but I want to give the events of the day some closure so they can start moving forward.**

**Next chapter you'll get to learn a little more about Quinn and Britt's relationship as well as maybe see something more develop between Rach and one of the Trinity ;) just a little spoiler to keep y'all interested until I can post again in a week or perhaps two =S**

**Peace Out.**

**Maxx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Believe it or not, I actually managed to finish chapter thirteen today and have planned out most of the major plot points for the rest of the story so I'm in a generous mood and thought I'd share =) I've done far too much adulting these past few days and there is more to come but I've also had some awesome ideas for more fanfics! I want your guys' thoughts on them so I'ma put a poll up on my profile and you can have a look and vote which I should work on next!**

**Thank you so much to all the lovely people who reviewed and favourited this story! They all mean so much to me and make me so happy. I wanted to give a special shout out to AngstyCanadianGleek for their awesome, kind, inspiring words and support. You always make my day, my friend. So thank you and I really hope you continue to enjoy the story.**

**Oh and there will be smut in later chapters, just fyi. In case anyone was wondering about all the teasing! There will most definitely be some pleasin' too ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing, except two very lazy kitty cats who have done nothing but sleep today while I've been busy doing shit. They could at least help, earn their damn keep, y'know?**

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**Content Warning: Mention of murder, parental neglect/abuse, injuries/wounds and depictions of mental health.**

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**Chapter Twelve**

LeRoy stood in the living room door way, arms folded and a small smile on his face. His eyes were on the four sleeping girls who had laid claim to his couch. His own daughter sandwiched between the two blonde girls, with her face buried in the crook of Santana's neck. He had intended on speaking to the other three girls, he needed to know… more, everything… he wanted answers and to understand. But he did not want to put Rachel through any more than she already had been by making her re-live it all again. So once he had felt that his husband was stable enough and they had both cried out all they could, he had gone looking for the girls. He knew he was being selfish and putting a great deal on them, especially as they had all had an equally shitty week, but his only thought was to keep his daughter safe and away from all this now.

The moment LeRoy's eyes had landed on the couch though, he knew there was nothing more anyone could do tonight so it could wait. His little girl looked so goddamn content and at ease in amongst the Unholy Trinity that he would have genuinely considered not waking them up even if the end of the world was coming. The man disappeared from the room for a few moments returning with blankets which he carefully laid over the four girls. He placed a loving kiss to Rachel's cheek before stepping back. He noticed Hiram leant against the doorway watching him with a hand over his heart and a soppy smile on his face.

"Come on, dear, let's leave them to sleep, it's been a long day," Hiram held out his hand to his husband. "I think it's time we went to bed ourselves."

LeRoy accepted the hand and allowed his husband to lead him upstairs to their bedroom. They both did their usual night time routines but tonight they were quieter than usual, lost in their own thoughts. When Hiram finally slid into bed beside LeRoy, the taller man did not have his usual bedtime book out but was instead just staring up at the ceiling, hands clasped on his chest. Hiram propped himself up on his elbow and observed his husband silently. LeRoy sighed quietly and shook his head at himself.

Hiram's lips curled a little at the corner as he all but read LeRoy's thoughts. "I think between us we could probably get away with it. With your medical knowledge and my understanding of the law and judicial system we have perhaps a ninety percent chance."

LeRoy couldn't help the chuckle that came, his husband knew him ridiculously well. He couldn't get away with anything, not even his own twisted thoughts of revenge.

"But there's still a ten percent chance we will get caught and I won't gamble with our daughter's future, with her life like that," Hiram laid a hand over LeRoy's making the man look at him. "I know how angry you are, my love. I am too. Angry at that boy, at the school, at society, even at myself for not being there to protect her. I'm her father, I should have been there, it's my job."

LeRoy nodded thoughtfully but stayed silent, letting Hiram say what he needed to.

"And although that anger can be useful in getting shit done and keeping us motivated to change things… if we let it consume us and control us then we will lose everything that we care about in this world. I won't let either of us do anything to put our home, our lives, or our daughter in jeopardy." Hiram leant across and dropped a kiss onto LeRoy's lips. "Our family is strong. We are strong. So is our little girl. We can get through this if we just keep reminding each other every day why we're doing this…"

"For her." LeRoy cupped Hiram's face, thumb stroking the man's slightly stubbly jaw.

Hiram leant into the touch with a smile. "For our family. You are the most important people in the world to me, LeRoy. I know you're struggling but I am here for you, no matter what. As I know you're here for me. We can get through this together."

They shared a sweet kiss before Hiram settled into LeRoy's side, head resting on the taller man's shoulder. They laid in a companionable silence, listening to each other's breathing and heartbeats, letting the closeness sooth them.

"I'm going to speak to the girls tomorrow," LeRoy murmured.

Hiram moved to look up at him, words of protest on his tongue.

"Not Rachel, I promise. The other three-"

"The Unholy Trinity." Hiram interjected with a grin, making LeRoy roll his eyes but nod.

"I want to discuss Santana's plan of action visa vi the boy… as well as ask their intentions towards our daughter."

Hiram's eyebrows shot up and he sat up to look at his husband, his tone full of warning now. "LeRoy-"

LeRoy sat up too and held up a hand to silence his husband. "It is not that I don't like the girls, because I do. They have been looking out for Rachel when we couldn't, and she seems to have a great deal of affection for them. But after today's incident… I need to know. I need to be sure she is safe with them, that her heart, her mind and body alike are safe and that they know just how lucky they are to have her in their lives."

Hiram threw his arms around his husband and squeezed so tight. His heart ached with love for the man, he couldn't have asked for a better partner in marriage, in parenthood, in life… He just loved how fiercely protective and kind and generous LeRoy was in all aspects. He was such a good father and husband, Hiram trusted that LeRoy would always do what was best for their family.

"Just be gentle with them, Rachel will never forgive us if we scare them away!"

"If concerned, loving fathers are what scare them away then they were never worthy of our little girl to begin with, Hiram! And I will never apologise for wanting the best for her," LeRoy lay back in bed again, Hiram still in his arms, and settled in with a contented sigh. "But I have a feeling those three don't scare easily. Our daughter is a force to be reckoned with, if they're still here after all this I think she may have finally met her match!"

Hiram mirrored the grin on his husband's face. He snuggled into LeRoy's side again and reached up to bestow a goodnight kiss on him before stretching across to turn the lamp off.

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Quinn woke with a start, heart in her throat as the remnants of her dreams clung to her still. Her hand immediately went to Santana's where it was slung across her chest, fingers finding the girl's skin warm and her pulse steady but strong. She drew in a deep breath to calm her racing heart and shifted so she could see her girlfriends, needing to see them with her own eyes.

Rachel had joined them at some point, it seemed, and was tucked tightly into Santana. Quinn's heart fluttered a little at how content the diva looked, and how those lines of worry and anger had finally faded from Santana's face – even if it were only for a few hours. It seemed Rachel was already a part of Santana's heart, Brittany's too as she noted the tall blonde's hand linked with Rachel's. But that wasn't a surprise, Brittany had been the driving force behind them getting to know Rachel in the first place, she had seen how unhappy and in pain the diva was and her giant heart and unending kindness would not be stopped.

A soft smile curved Quinn's mouth as she traced her fingers along Brittany's cheek, down to her lips, before she leant in and gave her a chaste kiss. She pushed her face into Brittany's hair and pressed a kiss there too. Quinn turned her eyes to Santana and a quiet sigh slipped from her. She wished she could get inside the girl's head and beat her darkness into submission for ever making the Latina think she didn't matter – then she would find Santana's father and do the same to that prick because he never gave a fuck about his daughter. At least Quinn's own douchebag of a father once loved her and cared for her, even if it was only because she was lying to the world and trying to be the daughter he wanted instead of who she actually was…

Quinn braced her arms against the back of the couch as she leaned in and nuzzled into the Latina's neck, breathing in deeply; Santana's scent always made her a little dizzy, always made her heart beat out of rhythm in her chest… When Quinn was sandwiched between her girlfriends, or wrapped up in them both, they always made her feel like she was finally whole again. The safety and understanding of Santana and the peace and happiness of Brittany balanced her out and gave her the strength to keep on existing and to love them with everything she had. She pulled back a little and pressed a kiss to Santana's jaw, then to her cheek and finally her lips. A smile found its way onto her face.

Finally, the blonde's eyes landed on Rachel. She hadn't been lying earlier when she had admitted to her girlfriends about having a heart attack over finding Rachel in the auditorium like that. It was true that she did not understand or accept Rachel as readily as Brittany seemed to, nor was she as protective of or as enamoured with her as Santana seemed to be. But that didn't mean that Quinn didn't feel something for the usually loud and overbearing diva. Seeing the girl hurt had fractured something in Quinn, had activated her protect-and-kill mode that only ever came out for her girlfriends… she had wanted to kill Finn, but she had _needed_ to hold Rachel and make sure she was okay even more so. Quinn did not trust easily, and she trusted people with her family even less easily.

She was willing to get to know Rachel more, she was willing to protect her and let her get close enough to maybe start understanding her family… Quinn could see how the diva affected Santana – the way the Latina couldn't relax until all four of them were together now, how Rachel's stern, no-nonsense, yet caring way seemed to get through to the stubborn Latina when the blondes just couldn't. She had also started to notice how all of them, not just Santana, affected the diva. It seemed Rachel was not immune to Brittany's intriguing charms and overt affection. She definitely wasn't immune to Santana's smouldering intensity - especially those dark eyes of hers… Quinn felt herself clench at that thought - and vulnerable confidence (a bit of an oxymoron, yes, but it was fucking true!) Nor did it appear she was immune to Quinn.

After their conversation outside the Home Ec. room all those weeks ago now, Quinn had begun to notice Rachel start to relax a little around her; the more Rachel relaxed, the more touchy-feely she had gotten with the blonde. And the more touchy-feely she was, the more Quinn was drawn to the diva. It wasn't the touching, per say, it was more the fact that Rachel was using it as a way to show Quinn she trusted her and wanted to be around her. For Quinn, actions spoke louder than words. Even so she knew they would need to have a conversation at some point. The Unholy Trinity had a lot to apologise to Rachel for, they knew a few weeks of being nice to the girl and looking out for her wouldn't negate everything they had done but they were trying. Desperate not to hurt the girl any more, or make the same mistakes over and over, they wanted to ensure they were all on the same page.

But that could wait a little longer. There was no rush, she just wanted Santana and Rachel both to take the time to heal properly. They weren't going anywhere. Quinn hesitated for only a split second before she pressed a kiss to Rachel's cheek, letting her lips linger there while she breathed the diva in. The blonde pulled back with a smile. Yeah, she could definitely see herself getting used to the girl.

Quinn's stomach growled noisily at her and directed her feet into the kitchen and towards the refrigerator. She froze with her hand on it. For a moment she had forgotten this was not Brittany or Santana's house; Rachel was not their girlfriend, she was only just their friend, so Quinn had no right to go raiding the Berry's fridge. She sighed and got herself a glass of water instead, jumping up onto the counter beside the sink to gulp down the liquid and replenish it with more immediately after to try and satiate her hunger.

Not long later Brittany appeared in the doorway, rubbing her eyes sleepily and stretching until Quinn could hear popping and cracking. She flinched but Brittany let out a satisfied sigh.

"Hey, Britt-Britt. You okay?"

Brittany shuffled over to Quinn, took her glass and chugged until there was nothing left. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before giving the glass back to Quinn. Quinn just chuckled and shook her head. Brittany slotted herself between Quinn's legs and encircled her waist with her arms. Quinn's breath hitched as their eyes met and Brittany leant forward to claim her lips in a sweet kiss.

"I am now," The dancer mumbled against her girlfriend's mouth.

Quinn's lips curved into a smile and she wrapped her own arms around Brittany's neck, kissing her back soundly. Before Quinn had become romantically linked with either of her girlfriends, she remembered Santana describing the way it felt to kiss Brittany. It hadn't been too long after Quinn had shown up on Santana's doorstep, a broken shell of herself – they had been laid in Santana's bed together, Quinn still not having said more than a few words, so the Latina had taken to just talking to her softly as she rocked them to sleep.

Santana had said she had been kissing Brittany for years, a fact Quinn was well aware of, but the feelings it gave her had never faded. It was like magic, she had said. Like summer break, sleeping in late, eating at Breadstix, singing a solo at a competition, falling into bed at the end of a long day, making love, driving in the car on a warm day with the windows down, going on a date, taking the first bite out of your favourite candy bar all rolled into one to make pure magic. Brittany never demanded, never pushed beyond gentle encouragement, never assumed anything. She didn't need to, not when she always just seemed to magically know things! And Brittany knew people better than they knew themselves, most times. Especially her girlfriends. She always seemed to know exactly what they needed.

Quinn had always agreed with Santana that Brittany was everything that was good in this miserable, stinking world. That's why they both fought so goddamn hard to protect her from the bullshit and the awfulness of the world outside their little family. But it wasn't until Quinn had shared her first kiss with the dancer that she had really, truly understood what Santana meant about magic…

It had been on a Sunday during the summer, not long after Quinn and Santana had become something more - Brittany had walked in on the two of them making out and hadn't batted an eyelid. So when Santana had had to run an errand for her mom, leaving the two blondes alone, Brittany had not even hesitated in cuddling up to Quinn when she sensed the shorter girl's anxiety. Brittany had been so gentle and so sweet to her, she hadn't forced her to talk or do anything, they had just contentedly laid in each other's arms and watched TV.

"Quinn?" Brittany had given her a soft squeeze to get her attention.

"Yeah, Britt?"

"Sometime, when you're ready, I'd really like to kiss you." The dancer had sounded so genuine.

Quinn had almost cracked her forehead on Brittany's jaw when she whipped her head round to look at the girl, eyebrow raised. "You… You would?"

"Mmhm." Brittany nodded, such a serious look on her face. "And I'd really, really like to kiss you the way Santana was kissing you earlier."

Quinn had blanched at that. "Why?" It had come out as a whimper, Quinn's eyes now locked on Brittany's lips as they stretched into a beaming smile.

"Why wouldn't I want to? You're beautiful, inside and out. And one of my best friends. I love you and I love San, and I want us to be a family." Brittany had shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Like she hadn't just set something life changingly huge in motion for them all…

Quinn hadn't even been able to put her thoughts in order, never mind any actual out-loud words, so she had done the only thing she could think of to let Brittany know she wanted the exact same thing. She cupped Brittany's face in a shaking hand and kissed her tentatively. The moment she felt Brittany cup her own cheek and kiss her back with a smile Quinn's world became brighter, her body felt lighter, and she knew she could face anything the world had to throw at her as long as she got to kiss Brittany every day of her life. It was like kissing pure sunshine and rainbows and all the good things in the world. And Quinn never wanted it to end.

Even now, months and hundreds of kisses later, Quinn still felt her entire being start to drift away as she kissed the taller girl. So when Brittany's hands slipped under her t-shirt and she flattened her palms on her back to pull them closer, Quinn was grateful for the grounding because she didn't want to fly away somewhere that she couldn't do this anymore. Quinn wrapped her legs around the dancer's waist and moaned breathlessly into the kiss, Brittany's tongue in her mouth now.

"Thought I'd find you two here," Santana's voice came from the doorway where she was leaning, watching the blondes with a grin. "This is becoming a habit of yours, I see, Q. Should I ask the Berry's to clear out so we can live out whatever dirty fantasy you have in mind?"

Quinn flipped Santana off behind Brittany's back but did not break their kiss, holding the dancer to her even tighter. This only made Brittany giggle and kiss her harder, sucking Quinn's tongue into her own mouth, making them both moan quietly. Santana chuckled and moved next to them, placing a kiss on Brittany's shoulder and one on Quinn's neck before carefully jumping up onto the kitchen counter too. Both blondes immediately untangled a hand from each other and found Santana – Brittany's hand gripping her thigh while Quinn's found the hem of her shirt and slid under to splay out on her back. Santana hummed happily as she leant back against the cupboard, eyes closed, and lost her fingers in Quinn's hair, nails scratching lightly against the blonde's scalp in the way she knew Quinn liked. The shiver and groan she felt run through Quinn at the contact made Santana grin and glow with pride. She loved that she could elicit such a response from her girlfriend with just a touch.

When Santana opened her eyes again, the clock on the wall caught her eye and she sighed. 2am. They should really go home. And eat. And she really needed to take her meds. She kissed her girlfriends again, leaving them to it, and hopped off the counter, heading back into the living room to collect their things. Rachel was still curled up on the couch where Santana had laid her a little while ago, with a kiss to the forehead and a blanket over her. The Latina stood for a moment, just watching the diva, her face softening as the girl murmured something in her sleep and yanked the blanket up to cover half of her face.

God, she was fucking smitten. But she genuinely couldn't find it in herself to give a fuck. The diva did things to her – not only to her body but to her head and heart too. And Santana would be a fucking fool and regret it forever if she didn't see this thing they had started through. No matter the outcome, she just wanted Rachel to be happy and safe.

With a heavy sigh, Santana grabbed their things and turned to leave. Her heart tugged towards the sleeping girl, her whole body ached to climb back on that couch and go back to sleep with the diva in her arms. But she was quite certain they had already over stayed their welcome and Rachel and her fathers needed some family time together. Plus she needed to go throw a bucket of cold water on her macking girlfriends and get them home before they got Santana riled up too.

"Come on, you two. Save that for when we get home," Santana dumped their stuff on the kitchen counter by Quinn and snaked an arm around Brittany, pulling her back flush against Santana's front. "We gotta go, Britt." The Latina breathed to the dancer, tongue darting out to trace along the outside of her ear.

It managed to distract Brittany into breaking her kiss with Quinn just long enough for Santana to tug the girls apart and snap them out of their haze of lust. Well, Brittany anyway.

"B-Britt?" Quinn panted, hands reaching for the dancer again.

"Come on, mi amors. Time to go home and go to bed," Santana helped Quinn off the counter and pressed a brief kiss to her lips as the blonde shook herself out of it finally.

"About fucking time, I'm starving!" Quinn grumbled, putting her jacket on and handing Brittany's to her as Santana double checked she had her car keys in her pocket.

"You're more than welcome to help yourself to anything in the fridge, Quinn."

The soft voice made the three freeze but sigh with relief when they realised it was Rachel and they hadn't woken her dads.

"Uh thanks, Rach, but we- we should probably take off." Quinn glanced awkwardly at her girlfriends, blushing as the diva's eyes didn't leave her face immediately.

"Oh."

All three girls felt their hearts sink at the pure sadness and disappointment distilled into that single word. It was like a fucking knife slipped between their ribs and straight into their still beating hearts, killing them where they stood. Quinn found herself taking a step towards the diva sub-consciously, as if she were magnetised to her all of a sudden. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her girlfriends both had the exact same reaction and it finally hit Quinn just how fucked they all were. She wasn't going to be able to fight this, there was no debating, no argument, no discussion to be had between the Unholy Trinity – they were already in this, all of them, and whether she knew it or not, Rachel held all the power here. Something that had Quinn on the very edge of panic, she needed to be in control as much as she could… but she did not go over that edge... A part of her somehow just knew that Rachel would not abuse that power, even when she did finally realise she held it.

Rachel was just like them – she was not the girl from the year before, she was fighting her own battle and just as lost and scared as they were. And the Unholy Trinity already knew the diva had a lot of love to give. They had seen it - it had been too much for Finn, and Puck, and Jesse; it had scared the boys and they had all left or avoided her or hurt her because of it. But it didn't scare the girls. Because they all loved just as intensely and completely as Rachel did, they needed and wanted things 'too much', they held on tightly and refused to let go. So no matter whether Rachel understood their family dynamic yet, whether she was okay enough to get close to someone again, whether she was far enough along in her personal journey… they would be there for her, waiting, until the day Rachel was ready.

"Y-Yeah, of course you do," Rachel shook herself, forcing a smile onto her face and pushing the panic that had been rising up her throat back down as best she could. "I didn't realise how late it is, I'm sorry. Y-You have lives and things to do… meds to take!" She gestured to Santana but couldn't seem to bring herself to meet the girl's eyes.

Silence hung about them, suffocating them, as Rachel stood there, eyes glued to the floor, her fingers knotting themselves together. The poorly constructed mask on the diva's face flickered, cracks slowly appearing the longer the three girls watched her.

"Rach…" Santana's voice came out tight and forlorn, her heart breaking right there in her tone.

Rachel blinked rapidly against the tears threatening to fall and turned her smile up another few thousand watts in a desperate attempt not to fall to pieces in front of the three wonderful girls, who had already done so much for her and whom needed to go and take care of themselves finally. "I'll see you all on Monday. Bright and early, okay?"

When no one responded, Rachel made herself turn and start out of the kitchen towards the front door so she could let them out. Each step felt like she were trapped in quick sand, her feet being dragged under faster than she could move them. It was only by sheer force of will that she managed to make it to the door and turned back to look at the girls trailing silently behind her – each with such pained and conflicted expressions on their faces. Rachel fumbled for the front door keys where they hung on the hook, her fingers didn't seem to be working as she almost dropped them trying to fit them in the lock. She blushed at her clumsiness, aware of the three pairs of eyes watching her every move. She finally got the door unlocked and just as her hand gripped the handle, a soft voice behind her spoke up.

"Do you want us to leave, Rach?" Brittany took a step towards the diva's suddenly tense frame. "If you do, we'll go. We understand that you and your dads need some peace and privacy. But if you don't…"

Rachel turned to look at the dancer, her rich chocolate eyes watery with hopeful tears. "If I don't?"

Brittany smiled gently and closed the gap between them, her hands moving to cup the diva's face. "If you don't, just say the word and we'll stay. You just have to be honest and tell us what you want, Rach. That's all you ever need to do with us. Just be honest."

Rachel's hands wrapped themselves around the tall blonde's biceps, holding tight as if she thought Brittany might vanish. Her blue eyes were so sincere, so open and full of genuine affection that Rachel couldn't help herself as she raised herself up on her tiptoes and finally got her kiss. It was the sweetest kiss the diva had ever had. It barely lasted two seconds but she felt as if she had just eaten an entire bar of her favourite vegan chocolate. When she went to pull away, Brittany went with her and kissed her back, brushing her mouth so lightly against Rachel's own, once, twice, three times, that goose bumps appeared on both of them.

The diva pushed up into Brittany and claimed her lips properly, kissing her harder as the dancer held her close. "Stay," Rachel mumbled. "Please stay. I couldn't bear to lose you just yet."

Brittany pulled away, a little breathless. "You won't lose us, Rach. We're here for you." She wrapped the tearful girl up in her arms and dropped a kiss into her hair. She felt Rachel nod as she buried her face in Brittany's chest.

With a full heart and a stuttery sigh of relief, Brittany reached behind Rachel and locked the front door again.

* * *

"Well, well, well!" Hiram stood in the doorway to the kitchen, his arms folded across his chest as he observed the scene before him. "What's going on here then?"

The four girls were sat on the kitchen island - Santana and Quinn cross legged facing each other, a plastic tupperware container balanced between them as they ate from it, Brittany and Rachel sat beside them, mirroring them, as they ate from their own container. They had been chatting quietly as they dug in, the food still hot from the microwave. But upon the man's appearance everyone froze, forks midway to mouths or mid-chew.

"Umm hi, dad." Rachel gave an awkward wave of her fork, covering her mouth with her free hand as she finished swallowing her mouthful. "I'm sorry if we woke you, we were just-"

"Starving!" Quinn finished, shoving another forkful into her mouth before it could be taken from her.

"I thought I raised you better than this, Rachel." Hiram shook his head with a disappointed sigh.

The four girls stiffened as the man approached them to lean on the island beside them, his eyes focused in on his daughter.

"This is not how we treat our guests, is it? Eating leftovers out of Tupperware? With a fork? Sat in the kitchen? No, no, no!" Hiram slapped his hands on the counter. "It will never do! Rachel, the good china! LeRoy!" The smaller man spun as if he had known his grinning husband had been there the whole time. "Set the table! You three, go wash up for dinner please." Hiram shoo'd the Unholy Trinity off of the kitchen island and ushered them towards the stairs. "Dinner shall be served soon! This is our first meal together so we are going to do it right."

Hiram bustled about the kitchen, apron in place, as he reheated their earlier dinner and served it up on six plates. The Berry clan had the table set, drinks poured and plates set out before the girls returned. The Unholy Trinity, still speechless and a little apprehensive, allowed themselves to be seated around the table; Quinn and Brittany on one side, Santana next to Rachel on the other, and the Berry men headed up either end of the table. There was an awkward pause as everyone looked at each other.

"I apologise for how late this is, I can assure you we are usually much better hosts!" Hiram smiled, earning a nod of agreement from LeRoy. "But you all looked far too comfortable and content earlier so we did not want to wake you."

Santana and Quinn blushed heavily, averting their eyes from the men, at having been caught in such an intimate position, especially with their daughter in amongst it. Brittany just giggled and shared a beaming smile with Rachel, who was only mildly blushing. The men laughed.

"What my husband is trying to say is… dig in and enjoy!"

They did not have to be told twice so for a long while the room was filled with the sound of cutlery clinking, chewing and light conversation. Compliments were immediately given about Hiram's cooking, especially from Brittany, but that was solely because Quinn had yet to take a breath in between bites otherwise she would have voiced her appreciation too. Hiram glowed with pride as the plates were cleaned and sighs of contentment permeated the air. He immediately got up and retrieved the rest of the leftovers from the kitchen and implored everyone to help themselves.

Santana looked about the table, a soft smile on her face, happiness radiating from her as she took it all in. Her girlfriends, well fed and smiling, chatting easily with the Berry men either side of them. Rachel more relaxed than the Latina had ever seen her, thousand watt smile lighting up the entire room as she joined in Quinn and LeRoy's conversation.

"So, Santana…" Hiram drew the Latina's attention to him, the kind smile on his face quietening her sudden fight-or-flight response at the man's tone. He had sounded horribly like her father for a moment, those words always being a pre-curser to an argument or him being disappointed in her once again.

Santana swallowed hard, sitting up a little straighter and forcing a tight smile onto her face. "What's up, Mr. Berry?"

A shadow of a frown flickered onto Hiram's face as he noted the sudden tension in the girl but he pushed it back. "Well I've had the good fortune to get to know the very lovely Quinn and Brittany here this last week but I feel like we've hardly had a chance to speak. I just wanted to get to know you a little, if that's alright?" The man watched her carefully, trying to get the right balance of fatherly concern and genuine interest about the girl.

Santana coughed awkwardly, her eyes flickering to Quinn across the table – who hadn't noticed anything – before nodding her consent to Hiram.

Hiram grinned. "I know you're in Glee Club with Rachel too, we heard you bring down the house with Valerie at Sectionals! Do you have a favourite song right now?"

Santana's chest puffed a little at the compliment. "Less of a favourite song but I'm still really into Paramore's Brand New Eyes album from last year. It's so different from their other stuff and I'm loving seeing them evolve and grow. Gives me hope, y'know?"

Hiram's mouth opened and closed for a few moments as Brittany beamed at her girlfriend. The dancer knew how much Santana despised talking about herself, especially with parental type people. She had also seen the panic in her eyes at Hiram's initial words and had known exactly what had gone through the Latina's mind but she had been so proud when Santana pushed through and opened up, even if it were only a little bit.

"I don't think I know Paramore," Hiram finally replied thoughtfully. "Perhaps you could introduce me to them sometime?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Berry. How about you? What's your favourite right now?" Santana asked, sitting back in her chair, a little more relaxed now.

"Ah now that is the question! I'm not quite as knowledgeable as my darling daughter, nor am I as musically forward as my fantastic husband, but I do have a soft spot for the classic rock!" Hiram grinned from ear to ear and set off listing his favourite rockers.

Santana couldn't help but mirror his smile and get a little infected by his enthusiasm, even divulging some of her own personal favourites in the category. To which Hiram got even more excited and their conversation spiralled from there. It wasn't until they somehow ended up on the subject of her family that Santana came crashing down and remembered who she was – pain, anger, selfishness, shitty family and all.

"Your family must be very proud of your incredible talent! Not to mention your big heart and ability to deal with dramatic divas!" Hiram winked at Santana as Rachel caught the tail end of the comment and turned to shoot him a good natured glare.

"Uh…" Santana cleared her throat. "I- uh- need some water. I'll be right back." She stood quickly, grabbing her glass and disappearing into the kitchen without another word.

The Berrys' watched her go with confusion, but did not miss the sad look of understanding that passed between Quinn and Brittany. Quinn made to stand but LeRoy was way ahead of her.

"We have dessert too, I'll go grab it."

Quinn hesitated, still half way out of her chair. But LeRoy was already gone so she just sank back down, hoping that the Latina was okay and could hold herself together just a little longer. If there was one thing that set Santana off, it was her parents. They had fucked her up no end and still continued to, and it didn't even seem like they gave a fuck, or really even knew they were doing it. Quinn sighed. At least her father was consciously an asshole and Quinn knew what his damage was. Santana's father was just cold and uncaring, her mother flighty and self-centred, for no obvious reason other than the fact that that's who they were.

Brittany's hand slipped onto Quinn's thigh and squeezed. The blondes exchanged a look, Brittany leaning over to give her girlfriend a chaste kiss. "Breathe, baby. She knows where we are if she needs us," the dancer muttered as she pressed another kiss to Quinn's cheek.

Quinn nodded stiffly, flashing Brittany a grateful smile, before going back to her food. Even so her anxiety rose and rose with every minute Santana and LeRoy did not return…

* * *

Santana stood at the Berry's kitchen sink, chugging a glass of water. When she was done, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and immediately refilled her glass. Downing the contents of the glass again, she went back for more. She had been hoping against hope that it would neutralize and push down the bile that had been steadily rising up her throat since the mention of her parents but it didn't seem to be doing anything.

A strangled sob ripped from her lips as she breathed in at the wrong time and choked on the water. She spat it out quickly, coughing as quietly as she could until she could breathe again. A soothing hand appeared on her back, patting gently whenever she coughed. After a time she managed to regain control over herself and turned to find it was not Quinn or Brittany as she had thought, but LeRoy stood behind her. He gave her a smile but it did nothing to negate the sadness in his eyes.

"Please forgive Hiram, he never meant to upset you with his comment."

Santana opened her mouth to deny everything but she just couldn't bring herself to lie to kind doctor. Instead she nodded and moved away from LeRoy to put her glass in the dishwasher, unable to meet his eyes again. She did not want to talk about her parents. Why could she not just have one day where they weren't fucking things up for her? Was that too much to ask for?

Thankfully LeRoy did not push. "May I take a look at your hand?"

Santana glanced down at her bandaged hand. She had almost forgotten about it amongst all the other pain going on in her body right then. She shrugged and crossed to him, holding it out. With a practiced ease LeRoy unwrapped the bandage and surveyed the damage. He tutted quietly to himself, the sound making Santana flinch – she knew disappointment when she heard it. Without a word, the doctor set about cleaning it again and re-dressing it.

"Whoever looked after you the first time did a good job."

"Quinn." Santana shrugged, a flutter of pride going through her at LeRoy complimenting her girlfriend.

LeRoy nodded. "Just keep it clean and dry, and change the dressing every day for the first week or so. I'll have a look at it again next weekend, okay? Just to ensure it's healing properly."

"Thank you, Doctor Berry," Santana mumbled. She took her hand back and turned to go. A firm hand on her arm stopped her.

"Santana, I…" LeRoy trailed off, swallowing hard as the Latina's conflicted gaze finally met his own. He did not know the girl well and he knew it had been an incredibly long week for her – evident from the deep tiredness etched into her face and the pain clouding her eyes. He also knew that she owed him nothing, that she had done more than enough already for the Berry family but still… he needed to know. And he knew Santana would be truthful with him, even if it hurt, even if it would make him angry or upset. She had promised only that morning, after all.

"You okay, Doc?"

The tall man had been staring at her like a deer in headlights for the past minute without saying a word, his hand still holding her in place. She had to resist the urge to pull away from him, fighting back the sickening déjà vu of all the times her father had grabbed her like this. LeRoy was nothing like that man.

Finally LeRoy seemed to snap out of it, clearing his throat awkwardly. He let go of her arm, muttering an apology as he did, before standing a little straighter, squaring his shoulders and holding her gaze with determination. "Santana, before anything goes any further and in light of everything that has happened today, I need to know what your intentions are towards my daughter."

* * *

**AN: Sorry about the cliffhanger as per XD I'm starting work on chapter fourteen soon, so once that's done I'll post chapter thirteen for all you lovely folks! But maybe some awesome reviews would speed up the process? ;) or at the very least remind me to write instead of staring mindlessly at Netflix/Youtube! **

**Hopefully see you guys soon! Be kind to yourselves and keep on keeping on!**

**Peace out.**

**Maxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Been a while since I updated so I wanted to give you guys something for being so patient and awesome! I'm working on Chapter Fourteen in my notebook, so I'll have to type it up soon, which I'm not looking forward to. But I've been away from my laptop so much that hand writing it has been my only option. Although that does also mean I don't currently know how much I have written for the chapter, it looks like a lot in my A5 notebook but it's probably only like 4 bloody pages on Word DX**

**Feel like I haven't stopped for ages. When I'm not working, I'm recovering from work, or I'm dealing with adult stuff or Uni stuff or car stuff or family shit. I'm so fucking glad I've got this weekend off. I need a fucking four day nap! Also my car fucked up again last thursday and it's taking them forever to figure out what's wrong with it so I still don't know or have it back and I live fifteen miles from where I work now with no easy/direct bus route so I'm relying on £20 taxis and the kindness of lovely people to get me to and from. I'm so fucking skint right now DX**

**Urgh. Life. **

**Also. I uh may be taking it out on the poor Unholy Trinity and poor Rachel soooo... just be warned for the next chapter =S it ain't pretty!**

**Thank you so, so much for all the badass and supportive reviews and to everyone who has favourited the story! You guys are brilliant and I love each and every one of you! Shout out to malexfaith for all your kind words and encouragement! You make my day with your reviews and you're so polite XD I love it! You're awesome. I hope you continue to enjoy the story =)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, except the awesome decorative skulls I bought in the Halloween section in TK Maxx the other day! One is made to look like it's made of playing cards and another has roses on it, and I got a black cat dressed like a skeleton XD it's so awesome! My aesthetic really is nerd crossed with serial killer =D**

* * *

**Content Warning: Brief mentions of murder and violence, a scene of the work up to s*x but not the act itself, depictions of mental health issues.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

Santana's eyes widened, eyebrows shooting up. "Errrrr..." She had not even had this conversation with her family, never mind with Rachel, so what the fuck was she supposed to tell the suddenly loomingly tall man before her?

Before she could form coherent thought or come up with an answer of any kind for LeRoy, Rachel's voice rang out through the kitchen.

"Daddy!"

LeRoy visibly stiffened, his face paling at having been caught by his daughter. Even so, he shook himself and doubled down, determined to get an answer. "I am sorry, Rachel but I need to know you are going to be safe with these girls. I would not be doing my fatherly duty if I did not ask these questions!"

Rachel crossed to them and planted herself in front of Santana, glaring up at her father. "You do not have to answer anything, Santana. My father is being incredibly inappropriate and rude right now."

LeRoy's mouth fell open and he spluttered. Santana couldn't help the smirk that tugged at her mouth – she had missed this firecracker of a diva very much, especially now it wasn't being aimed at her.

"But, sweetheart!" LeRoy flailed helplessly, sounding more like the scolded child now. "I was only trying to-"

"I don't care what you were trying to do, daddy, you cannot ambush my friends like this. Especially not when they are guests in our house and have been so incredibly kind and patient today." Rachel shook her head in disappointment at her father. "And you should know better than anyone how much pain and discomfort Santana is in right now, how much she has been through this week! She does not deserve to be cornered and interrogated in our kitchen."

By now the rest of the household had arrived in the kitchen, having been drawn by the raised voices. Hiram sighed quietly, a little upset with his husband even though he knew he had meant well. Brittany and Quinn watched tensely – they expected Santana to bolt at any moment, just 'nope' the fuck out and shut herself down. To their surprise, and genuine pride, Santana did not do that.

The Latina put a gentle hand on the diva's shoulder. "Rach, it's okay-"

"No it is not, Santana. You have been so supportive and so lovely all day, even when you have been in such awful pain and would have been well within your rights to tell everyone to leave you alone." Rachel still stood glaring up at her shrinking father, arms crossed defiantly over her chest. "You have put yourself, your health and your own family at risk just to be here for me. And not just today either." The diva finally looked over her shoulder at Santana, her face softening. "I know daddy means well, he's trying to look after me, but this is inappropriate. Especially considering we have not even had that conversation ourselves yet."

Santana chuckled. "I know. I wish we would've had it before this happened too but you can't always get what you want, huh? Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches." She saw Rachel stiffen. "Metaphorically speaking, Rach." Santana pressed a kiss to the diva's cheek, her hand lingering on Rachel's waist as she straightened and looked LeRoy dead in the eye.

The man blinked in surprise, apologies about to spill from him but Santana beat him to it.

"I'm sorry, Doctor Berry, I don't have a perfect answer for you. Maybe not even one you want to hear, but it's going to be the truth."

LeRoy gulped but nodded for Santana to go on.

The Latina smiled faintly, drew in a breath and exhaled around the sudden lump in her throat. "I can only speak for myself but… I like your daughter. Very much. I'm still getting to know her but I enjoy being with her; I love listening to her sing and talk so passionately about music. I want to keep her safe," Santana shrugged, eyes lingering on the tiny diva in front of her for a moment. "I want her to know she has someone to lean on when she needs it, I want to prove that I'm not the same person I was last year and I will try my fucking hardest not to hurt her. I also want her to know I'm not scared, and I'm not like any of those douchebags who couldn't handle her star-power or her big heart."

Rachel turned to stare at Santana, her eyes wide and mouth curving slowly into a smile – such a look of pure happiness on her face that the Latina couldn't help but take her hands and speak directly to her then.

"I'm not perfect, Rach. Nowhere near it, actually. But I'm trying, and I'm gonna keep trying so that I don't hurt my family… so I don't hurt you anymore. And I know we aren't exactly the standard operating system," Santana glanced over at her little family with a fond smile as they stood watching her cautiously. "I know our relationship, our family might not make sense to you, or might not be what you want in the future, and that's totally cool! There's no pressure, no strings, nothing. What I'm trying to say, Rach, is… I just want-"

Brittany cleared her throat pointedly, gesturing at herself and Quinn when Santana looked over at her. Santana raised an eyebrow at the shorter blonde, who hesitated for a split second before giving her a firm nod.

The Latina's face split into a smile as she turned back to Rachel. "_We_ just want you in our lives. In whatever way you will have us-"

Rachel's excited squeal cut Santana off as the diva threw her arms around the Latina's neck and kissed her hard on the lips. Santana wrapped her own arms around the girl, lifting her off her feet as she grinned into the embrace. LeRoy coughed awkwardly but Rachel did not care. She pressed kiss after kiss to Santana's mouth, cheeks, forehead, jaw, before finally releasing her and diving at the two blondes. They caught her and held her close, one of her arms around each of their necks, as she peppered their cheeks with kisses too.

The Unholy Trinity all looked a little dazed when Rachel finally ended her onslaught and turned back to her blushing, smiling fathers. Rachel's eyes bulged and her face reddened too as she suddenly realised what she had done in front of the men.

"Well…" She swallowed hard, smoothing out her clothing before purposefully meeting LeRoy's eyes. "I hope that answers your question and alleviates whatever concerns you both may have about my- these wonderful girls." Rachel blushed even harder at her slip but powered on. "For future reference, fathers, please direct all questions about my relationships to yours truly instead of ambushing people in our kitchen at 3am. If you could do that, I would greatly appreciate it."

Both men nodded in unison, identical looks of wonder and disbelief on their faces. If these three girls could elicit such a passionate and animated response from the girl who had been so lost and withdrawn for the past half a year then the Berry men were more than happy to have them in their daughter's life.

The tension in the kitchen was rather awkward and no one quite knew what to say after all that. Santana stood rubbing the back of her neck, a little uncomfortable about having Rachel's dads watch them mackin'. Rachel was still blushing furiously, her sudden rush of confidence all but spent now.

"So…" Brittany looked back and forth between everyone, a hopeful gleam in her eyes as she bounced giddily, tugging on Quinn and Rachel's hands. "Someone said there was dessert?"

* * *

The sky was just starting to turn from black to a dark grey outside when LeRoy returned. He closed the front door silently behind himself and locked it before creeping upstairs. He stopped outside Rachel's room and slowly opened the door. His eyes fell on the sleeping girls in his daughter's bed and his heart swelled – they looked so goddamn cute and content laid there together. Santana on the far side, sprawled out, with Quinn on her chest, and Rachel sandwiched between the two blondes, Brittany's arm thrown across all three of them.

LeRoy edged around the room, stepping carefully over the shoes and jackets spread across the floor haphazardly – a sight he had never seen before in his ridiculously organised and neat daughter's bedroom – until he reached the other side of the bed. He put the paper bag he had been carrying on the nightstand, along with the keys he took from his pocket. He paused as he turned to leave, his gaze on Santana. A deep sadness threatened to overwhelm him, just as it had done when he had gotten to the Latina's house and found neither of her parents at home nor any sign that they had even realised she was not there. He could not fathom how anyone with the incredible fortune and privilege to have the title of 'parent' bestowed on them could be so unconcerned and cold when it came to their child! His eyes flickered to Quinn. Or how a father could be so cruel and unyielding when it came to his daughter's mistakes and her future happiness…

LeRoy's lip curled and he shook his head. Those parents did not deserve to have such kind, loving, brave daughters. He was just thankful he had never heard anything bad about the Pierce family. At least they had one loving set of parents to look after them. A smile slipped onto the man's face then. Now they had two sets and LeRoy would be damned if he was going to let anything else happen to these girls on his watch! He turned, with a determined glint in his eye and a lightness to his heart, and left the room, pulling the door shut gently behind him.

LeRoy finished up in the bathroom and was headed back to bed, more than ready to fall asleep with his husband in his arms. He opened the bathroom door and froze. Santana stood there, leant against the opposite wall, her tired eyes locked on him as if she had been waiting for him… which she must have been…

"Santana… my apologies if I woke you."

"I needed to take my meds anyway." She shrugged. "Thanks, by the way. You didn't have to." The Latina held up the paper bag, before stepping around LeRoy and emptying the contents onto the vanity in the bathroom.

LeRoy watched her sort through the medication and take the correct dose from each pill bottle. "I did have to. I have a duty of care, firstly. And secondly, Rachel was right."

"Don't let her hear you say that! You'll never hear the end of it otherwise," Santana pointed out, swallowing her medication with a few mouthfuls of water. "But I get it, Doc, she's your daughter. You were only trying to do what you thought was right to keep her safe."

LeRoy chuckled. "True. But even so, I shouldn't have done it like that."

"No… there were probably better times and places, but we live and learn," Santana mused, packing her medication back into the paper bag.

LeRoy nodded thoughtfully. Santana stared at him, waiting for him to ask the question she knew he must have been dying to ask since she told them she had reported Finn to Figgins. When he finally focused back in on the girl, LeRoy recognised the look in her eyes and the words spilled from him before he could stop them.

"What are we going to do about the boy?"

Santana smirked dangerously. There it was.

"I know you've already reported him to the school but we have to do more. I cannot have him anywhere near Rachel ever again. I will not hesitate…" He trailed off, a deep frown on his face as he tried to calm his anger.

"To kill him? Me either."

LeRoy's eyes widened at the anger and disgust he noted in the girl. Was that what he looked like right then too? God. That wasn't good - not for his family, not for the girls, not for anyone.

"But," Santana shook herself out of it, taking a few calming breaths before meeting the man's gaze again. "As much as I want him to suffer – and I want it so fucking much – I'm trying this new thing right now where I think before I act and actually consider how my actions might hurt my family so… that leaves us with the non-murdery options instead."

LeRoy found himself very proud of the girl in that moment. She was more mature than he had realised, and genuinely seemed to have the best interests of her little family at heart. His fatherly instincts seemed to relax a little towards her.

"Which are…?" Santana raised her eyebrows at the man, waiting for his input.

"Which are: reporting all this to the Police, getting a restraining order against the boy, speaking to his parents and letting them take the lead or sitting down with him and having a mediation between everyone involved-"

"Well that last one ain't happenin'!" Santana snorted, folding her arms across her chest as she lent back against the vanity. "I still haven't punched the motherfucker, let's not tempt fate by putting me in an enclosed space with him, okay? I've already pissed Quinn off enough for one lifetime." She mumbled the last part, flexing her injured hand as she did.

"Well then, while we wait for your Principal to get things moving at the school, I propose we have a conversation with the Hudson-Hummels and then see where to go from there. What do you think?" LeRoy observed Santana carefully.

The Latina pursed her lips, thinking it over carefully. "You and me?"

"Hiram too. He is the lawyer amongst us after all."

Santana nodded slowly. "Okay, the three of us. When?"

"I will call the family later today to arrange it for Sunday."

"Good. I'll let Britt and Q know so they can stay with Rach that day. I don't want any of them closer to that prick than they have to be," Santana growled, making LeRoy blink and a wistful smile appear on his face.

He enjoyed that he and Santana were on the same page about the whole thing. Perhaps, between the two of them, they could get through this and protect their families from any more pain. But Sunday would be the deciding factor on how far they would have to go to achieve that goal…

"But first… sleep," Santana mumbled, rubbing her face with both hands. The fire was gone from her eyes, exhaustion weighing her entire body down.

LeRoy couldn't agree more. He was certain if he felt half as bad as Santana looked right then he wouldn't even be vertical. He stepped out of the way, sweeping his arm towards the door.

"Night, Doc." The Latina picked up her meds and shuffled past LeRoy.

"Goodnight, Santana." He waited until he heard the door to Rachel's bedroom open and close before returning gratefully to his own room and sinking into bed beside Hiram.

"Everything okay, love?" Hiram rolled over, eyes closed and threw an arm over his husband, cuddling into his side.

"Of course. And… we have a plan," LeRoy smiled into Hiram's hair, pressing a kiss to his head.

* * *

Saturday was gone in the blink of an eye – out of the six in the Berry house only two made it downstairs before dinner. And that was only because Brittany smelled Hiram making pancakes late afternoon and could not resist. She traipsed down the stairs, following her nose, until she stood, bare foot, in the Berry kitchen. Her eyes transfixed on the man by the stove, his back to her as he cooked, humming to himself. Hiram added pancakes to the already full plate beside him.

Brittany sat herself down at the kitchen island and waited patiently. She observed him with a cocked head and bright blue eyes - eyes that never missed a thing. At first she hadn't been able to make out what it was that he had been humming, her ears straining until she finally picked out the melody and joined in with the words.

"What a shame we all became such fragile broken things, a memory remains, just a tiny spark. I give it all my oxygen so let the flames begin. So let the flames begin, oh glory!"

Hiram whipped around, hand over his heart as Brittany beamed at him, holding the last note. Relief washed over him at the sight of the girl but he brandished the spatula at her anyway. "You shouldn't sneak up on people while they're stood over a hot stove, Brittany!"

"I smelled food." The dancer shrugged.

Hiram's mouth opened and closed for a few moments before he gave up and just shook his head with a smile. "Grab a plate and help yourself." He pointed to a cupboard where the plates were kept before going back to cooking.

Brittany wasted no time in doing just that and returned to the island, plateful of pancakes in one hand and a knife and fork in the other. Hiram nudged the butter and syrup towards her and received a huge grin in return. He watched her smother the pancakes in syrup and tuck in, a fond smile finding its way onto his face.

"So…" Brittany shoved a forkful into her mouth as she scrutinized the man. "I thought you didn't know Paramore. How come you were humming it?"

Hiram blushed and went back to the stove to try and hide it. "Santana raved about them a fair bit last night, she had me intrigued so I listened to a few of their songs." He shrugged in an attempted to be nonchalant but Brittany's giggle told him he had failed. "How do you know them? They don't really seem up your alley."

"They're San's favourite band." Brittany shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I know every song by P!nk, Avril Lavigne, Halestorm, Evanescence and Skillet too. Quinn and San love them. Oh and Panic! At the Disco. Quinn says the songs make her feel a little saner because they're so lyrically insane."

Hiram stared at her. "Wow… you memorised all those songs because your girlfriends like them?"

"I wanted to understand them better. Quinn especially. Because of everything last year we… we lost her for a while and when we got her back I wanted to make it as easy as possible for her." Brittany took another huge bite of pancake and chewed in silence. Once she had swallowed she continued. "She doesn't trust easily, neither of them do. And they don't always know the right words… so to help, I listened to their playlists and learned the songs so that if they ever need to say something but can't, all they have to do is choose a song and I'll understand. No words needed." She nodded so seriously, eyes on her plate, brow furrowed.

"Brittany…"

Suddenly Brittany's face lit up and she met Hiram's concerned gaze. "I really love Ke$ha, and Katy Perry right now. But I'll listen to anything I can dance to, I mean, I haven't actually found a type of music I can't dance to yet so…" the dancer mused. She tapped her fork to her chin thoughtfully.

Hiram's eyebrows had not come down from his hairline yet as he waited for the next incredulous thing to come out of the blonde's mouth.

Brittany noticed Hiram's eyes fixed to her and mistook it for concern. "Don't worry, Mr. Berry, I've already started learning Rachel's favourite songs too!"

Hiram's mouth dropped open and his heart swelled. "You have?"

"Mmhm." Brittany replied around a mouthful of pancake. "I know Rach usually likes to talk a lot and she's pretty good at getting what she wants so even if I don't use it for that reason, I'll still get to know her better and maybe we can duet sometime. That would be so awesome!"

Before he knew what he was doing, Hiram was around the other side of the kitchen island and had Brittany in a bone crushing hug. It was the knife and fork clattering onto the plate that snapped him out of it but before he could even think to get embarrassed about his actions, Brittany was hugging him back just as hard.

"I am so happy my little girl has someone like you in her life, Brittany. It does my heart so much good to know." Hiram gave the dancer another firm squeeze before letting her go.

He met her gaze and held it. Something passed between them - an understanding… a promise... It made Brittany's already bright smile grow even wider as Hiram returned it before hurrying back to tend to his pancakes before they burned.

* * *

When Quinn had eventually awoken it had been to find Santana dozing, spread out on the bed, toned abs exposed where her shirt had ridden up in the night. She couldn't help herself as she slid her hand across the girl's stomach, fingernails grazing the muscles there. Her mouth had followed a second later, soft, exploratory kisses turning wet and hot when a soft moan reached her ears and Santana's fingers found their way into her hair. Quinn unbuttoned her girlfriend's shirt and dragged her tongue from her belly button up to the hollow of her throat.

A quiet laugh told her Santana was fully awake now; the Latina propped herself up on her elbows to look at the blonde. Before she could say a word, Quinn pushed Santana back onto the bed and crushed their mouths together. The knowing chuckle that slipped from Santana quickly turned to a moan as the blonde's tongue traced her lips but refused to go further even when the Latina opened up to her. Quinn tugged at Santana's lower lip with her teeth, nipping at it and making the other girl's fingers tighten on her waist. Santana let Quinn take charge – even though she longed to pull the girl flush against her, one hand dying to bury itself in that silky blonde hair and the other longing to slide down and palm her ass… She shook herself out of it and immersed herself in the feel of her girlfriend kissing her so slow and deep, making her whole body shiver.

"I need you to touch me, S," Quinn's voice came out husky and quiet, a little self-consciousness creeping in so she couldn't make eye contact with Santana.

A rush of heat flooded Santana at the words. She bit her lip hard and managed to pull herself together enough to take Quinn's face in her hands and bring their gazes together. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Please."

"Where?"

"I don't care, I just need your hands on me."

Santana, holding Quinn's eyes still, slipped her hand under the blonde's t-shirt and allowed her fingers to glide up her back before dragging her fingernails back down again. Quinn shuddered and pressed herself into Santana.

"More."

The Latina's hand moved around to Quinn's taut stomach, the backs of her fingers grazing the warm skin there briefly before she flattened her palm on the girl's abs and kissed her deeply.

"More, S…" Quinn growled. She broke the kiss, grabbed Santana's hesitant hand and guided it up until it cupped her breast through her bra.

When Santana's thumb ghosted over her bra-covered nipple a long, low moan crawled up Quinn's throat and the Latina felt herself throb. She had wanted to do this for so many years, long before they became romantically involved. Quinn was incredibly beautiful – with her alabaster skin, her silky hair that shone like the sun, her intelligent, intense hazel eyes and sexy fucking eyebrow/smirk combination. It all drove Santana to distraction, especially when that smirk and perfectly sculpted eyebrow were aimed at her… God, there were times when she felt like she would explode from the raw sexiness that was Quinn Fabray.

And now, here she was, in Rachel Berry's room – the diva curled up asleep on the other side of the bed – with Quinn breathless and horny on top of her, one hand on the girl's perfect breast… fuck… she hardly dare move in case she did something wrong and ruined the moment.

"Ssssss…" Quinn's hiss brought Santana back into the moment as she realised her other hand had a mind of its own and had snuck beneath the blonde's jeans, digging its fingers into the firmness of Quinn's bare ass.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Q. I shouldn't have-"

Before she could even finish her sentence or remove her hand, Quinn's own hand had found its way onto Santana's ass and groped her, pulling their bodies even closer. "Don't you dare move your hand, S," the blonde panted, her eyes fluttering closed at the feeling of her girlfriend's hand cupping, squeezing her ass. "Kiss me…"

With a grin on her face, Santana did as she was told; capturing the girl's lips, tongues finally meeting and sending sparks of electricity through them both. Carefully, slowly, Santana let her hands explore Quinn's body, giving the girl every opportunity to speak up if she needed them to stop or if something was too much. But Quinn only arched into Santana when the Latina's fingers snuck into her bra and bare skin met bare skin. Her nipple hardened quickly under Santana's skilled fingers, gentle tugs and tweaks making the blonde gasp and jerk her hips against her.

Suddenly the bed dipped beside them and Brittany's mouth latched onto Santana's neck, her hand joining the Latina's own on Quinn's ass. The loud, appreciative moan that came from Quinn told them it was more than okay so Brittany threw a leg over theirs and scooted until she was flush against both of her girlfriends. The dancer had barely managed to leave a mark on Santana's neck next to the one Quinn had left the day before, had barely started to explore the way her other girlfriend's supple ass felt in her hand before Hiram shouted 'Pancakes!' from right outside the door making Rachel jerk awake.

The diva rolled over to find the Unholy Trinity locked together, hungrily devouring each other, noises of pleasure leaking from them. Her eyes widened comically but when her brain actually took a second to process what she was seeing a wave of arousal surged through her body. A small guttural noise ripped from her throat. Santana's eyes locked onto her over Brittany's head and Rachel felt herself get wet just from the pure lust she saw. Quinn moved to claim Santana's mouth again and a profound sense of loss, and a generous dollop of jealousy, took over the diva. Her whole body was suddenly aching to be touched, to be kissed, to be ravished.

There came a knocking at the door and Hiram's voice followed it. "Come on, sleepy heads! I made enough for everyone, so come and get them!"

Rachel heard a whimper come from one of the girls but couldn't pin point who until…

"Don't stop, S, please!" Quinn ground herself down onto Santana, holding the Latina's hand in place on her breast.

"We haven't done this in forever, San, I've missed you so much." Brittany kissed her way down from Santana's shoulder, stopping at the swell of her cleavage to suck a mark into existence.

"It's only been eight days, Britt," Santana managed to gasp out as she clutched at the two beautiful blondes on top of her. They were quickly taking over her senses and making it impossible to think but they had to stop. "But we need to press pause, okay?"

Both blondes groaned loudly at the thought of stopping anything that they were doing. It felt so fucking good and they needed this so badly after all the bullshit and anxiety and pain of the week. They needed a release.

Santana chucked throatily. Which she realised quickly was a mistake when Quinn crushed their mouths back together with a lusty growl. "Q, baby, not here. We have an audience…" she trailed off, hoping the blonde would get the message.

Quinn stiffened on top of Santana. She pulled away just a fraction of an inch and turned to find Rachel, red-faced and lust-darkened eyes, staring at them from the opposite side of the bed. "Fuck." She grumbled and collapsed onto the Latina, burying her face in the girl's neck to catch her breath.

Brittany sighed sadly when she realised things weren't going to go any further – she removed her hand from Quinn's ass and threw it over the girl's waist instead, settling against her girlfriends, burying her face in the other side of Santana's neck.

"You okay, Rach?"

Rachel could only blink at Santana. She swallowed thickly a few times as she tried to regain her composure. Eventually the aching between her legs subsided enough for her to send the Latina a nod and actually meet her gaze.

"Sorry. We shouldn't have…" Santana grimaced up at the diva, seeing how the girl squirmed uncomfortably. "It won't happen again. We promise."

Disappointment punched Rachel in the gut and she had to fight heroically to keep it from showing on her face. "N-No. No need to apologise. I-I want you all to feel comfortable and at home here."

Santana raised an eyebrow at her.

"I-In fact, I should be the one apologising! I shouldn't have been staring. It was incredibly rude and disrespectful of me!"

"Disrespectful?" Santana laughed in disbelief. "Rach, you were probably like a minute away from seeing a live sex show in your own bed. It never should have gotten that far and I'm sorry that we made you uncomfortable." The Latina felt Quinn laugh and shake her head into her shoulder, muttering something that sounded like 'oblivious dumbasses'.

Rachel could only stare at the girls where they lay flush against each other, hands still laying claim to skin. A fire still burned at her core, her skin ached to be touched, her lips begged to be kissed… her heart longed to love and be loved as completely as the three girls before her loved each other. She wanted them – physically, emotionally, mentally - so badly that she thought if she couldn't have them that way, then the _very least_ they could do for her was let her see that live sex show! The thought made her blush furiously and clench her thighs together, desperate for any sort of friction.

Sure, last night Santana had said all those wonderful things to her, and the little family had extended their hands to her in friendship or… or whatever she wanted. And she wanted, God, she wanted! But there was still that grey area, those blurred lines between friendship and something so much more. Rachel had come to think of the Unholy Trinity as a unit not to be sold separately. And thus she had sub-consciously decided that if she couldn't have all of them, she couldn't have any of them. Perhaps that was wrong and selfish of her. Perhaps it would mean she would never get to have them at all. Perhaps then all she would have was her memories to keep her warm and satisfy her needs at night. But she couldn't help it.

She wanted all of them. But not all of them wanted her… her eyes flickered to Quinn and she had to bite back a sigh. It was entirely possible that the other two didn't even want her in that way anyway, so her wooing Quinn would be pointless. She had only shared a kiss or two with Brittany and Santana was… complicated. Sometimes she was sure she saw want in the Latina's eyes that rivaled her own, but then it was gone a split second later and Rachel was convinced she had imagined it in the state of constant horniness the dark-haired, dark-eyed girl always had her in.

"Rach?" Santana's gentle voice brought Rachel out of her tormented train of thoughts.

"I think I shall go and get some of those pancakes. Dad always makes the best vegan ones!" The diva smiled brightly and got off the bed. She turned her back to the girls as she put her hair up in a ponytail, using it as cover to take a few deep, calming breaths to steady herself. "I shall endeavour to save you all some but once daddy gets down there all bets are off!" She told them as she reached the door.

"That's okay, Rach, I already had a few stacks so I'm good!" Brittany rolled over briefly to flash her a satisfied grin and pat her stomach.

Rachel nodded. "Good. Then I shall save some for Quinn and Santana." Rachel hesitated with one hand on the door handle.

Santana frowned when she didn't leave right away. "Rach-"

"You didn't make me uncomfortable, Santana." The diva glanced back over her shoulder at the confused Latina. "Before, when you all were… you didn't make me uncomfortable. Okay?"

Santana swallowed, nodding quickly. A ghost of a smile appeared on Rachel's face before she had the door open and was gone.

Quinn sighed loudly and raised her head to look at Santana, annoyed. "Would you just fuck her already, S? This is getting harder and harder to watch!"

Santana scowled at her girlfriend, smacking her ass lightly with her hand. "I'm trying to prove to Rachel that I'm _not_ the same douchebag I was last year, remember? She deserves respect and romance and patience-"

"True, but she also deserves to know her feelings aren't unrequited and right now, you being all knight-in-shining-armour and gentlemanly is making her think you don't want her that way," Quinn explained. "When you obviously fucking do!"

Santana moved to argue but Quinn clamped a hand over the girl's mouth, stare serious.

"It's not up to you to decide what Rachel wants or needs right now. That's her job," the blonde softened. She took her hand from Santana's mouth and traced the girl's jaw with her finger tips. "I know you're trying to protect her, S, because you care about her. But unless you know it's what she wants, you could be doing more harm than good. So talk to her. Okay?"

Santana's scowl deepened but she couldn't keep it up and rolled her eyes as she gave the blonde an affectionate smile. "Fucking smartass."

Quinn shot her a wink and lent in for kiss. "Well think of it this way, the sooner you talk to her the sooner she figures out what she wants. The sooner she figures out what she wants the sooner _we _can figure out where to go from here!"

"Communication is important, San," Brittany chirped up, turning to look at her girlfriends, her head still on Santana's shoulder.

Santana rolled her eyes. "I know, I know! And I'm trying to get better at it, I promise. It's just harder than I thought…" she trailed off, sighing deeply.

The blondes exchanged a worried glance and tightened their holds on the frustrated Latina.

"We know you are, baby," Quinn dropped butterfly kisses along Santana's chest and up her throat to her lips.

"And we're so proud of you for it, beautiful," Brittany nuzzled into Santana's neck, placing a kiss behind her ear, making her girlfriend's lips curl up into a small smile.

"Hmm. But speaking of communication…" Santana gave both blondes a squeeze until they pulled back to look at her. "Rachel's dads are going to see the Hudson-Hummels tomorrow and… I'm going with them."

"What?" The word came out sharp, like a jab to the stomach. Quinn went rigid on top of Santana.

"This isn't up for debate, Q-"

"Like fuck it's not!" Quinn shoved herself off of Santana, anger coursing through her but it was quickly overshadowed by overwhelming fear and anxiety at the thought of Santana being anywhere near Finn. "If you're going, so am I."

Santana shifted Brittany off her gently and sat up, sliding off the bed towards the agitated blonde. "Q, no-"

"What did I just fucking say about making decisions for other people, you fucking asshole? No," Quinn shook her head defiantly, holding up a hand to keep Santana at arm's length. "No, I can't just fucking sit here again doing nothing. If you insist on this then the only way it's happening is with Britt and I stood between you and him. Do you understand me, Santana?"

Santana's heart clenched at the desperation in her girlfriend's voice, the worry in her eyes. "Mi amor, listen to me, please-"

"I will not let him hurt you again, S, I won't!" Quinn felt her throat start to close from the panic, her lungs seizing up. "I won't…" She was in Santana's arms before she could blink, sobbing into the Latina's still-unbuttoned shirt, hands balled into fists as she clutched the girl tight.

"Shh, mi amor, I'm here. I got you," Santana buried her face into the blonde's hair and whispered gentle reassurances to her.

Brittany's arms enveloped them both not a moment later. "I don't want you to go either, San," the dancer murmured sadly. "I love you too much to just stand by and let you get hurt by him again."

Santana freed an arm and looped it around Brittany's neck, holding her tight too. "Listen to me, mi amors, I will not be going anywhere near that motherfucker, I promise you that. I'll be with Rachel's dads the whole time and even Hudson isn't dumb enough to try something in front of his own mom and step-dad!"

"But what if he does?" Brittany met Santana's gaze.

Santana cupped the back of the dancer's neck until their foreheads rested together. "Then I'll turn and run as fast as I can. I won't stop until I'm back in your arms again, okay?"

Brittany brought their mouths together, nodding furiously. They only broke the kiss when Quinn shifted in Santana's arms to wrap herself completely around the Latina and bite her hard on the shoulder.

Santana let out a hiss. "Not that I don't enjoy when you're rough with me, Q, but what was that for?"

"For being a stubborn dumbass," the reply was a little muffled since Quinn still had her teeth sunk into Santana. "And 'cuz I needed to…"

The Latina chuckled and kissed the blonde's cheek, understanding the meaning behind her words – she would much rather Quinn hurt her than herself. "Okay, mi feroz león, you do whatever you gotta to feel better, I won't stop you. So long as you listen to me. Both of you!"

Brittany nudged Quinn with her head before settling her chin against the blonde's shoulder, eyes on Santana.

"I know you're both scared and anxious. I am too. But this is something I gotta do. Not just for Rach and her dads, but for you two as well," Santana gave the girls a loving squeeze. "You're my world. And if there's a chance to get through to Hudson and stop him from trying to hurt our family, then I gotta try." She felt Quinn loosen her jaw a little and hum in agreement, Brittany gave a small nod. "Everything is gonna be fine and I'll be back before you know it. I just need you both to look after Rach while we're gone. This is gonna be difficult for her, but her dads want to keep her out of it as much as they can. And I agree. So knowing you guys are here with her, that you'll all be safe, will make me feel better about the whole thing."

"What about you, S?" Quinn finally released the Latina's shoulder and looked up at her. "You matter too. You don't deserve to be dragged into all this shit any more than Rachel does."

"Maybe. But if I hadn't been such a fucking moron and hadn't let my pride get the better of me then he never woulda had the chance to hurt her in the first place," Santana revealed, her voice cracking. "I gotta do something, Q. Or else the guilt's gonna kill me."

Quinn felt her soul, her very being ache painfully for the girl in her arms as she guided Santana's head down into her own neck and breathed out a shaky sigh. She knew the sooner all this shit was over and Finn was out of their lives the better. But it didn't stop her wishing with everything she had that Santana was as far away from all of this as possible. All she wanted to do was protect her girls, her family… but that included Rachel now so if this was what they needed to do to protect her too then Quinn would do everything she could to make it happen.

Even if that meant the nightmares might come back and she might have panic attacks again anytime the girls were out of her sight… She knew Santana was paying a price too – it was carved deeply, bloodily on her body and soul - so was Brittany unfortunately, if the dancer's insane anxiety levels and frequent lone dance sessions were any indication. She just hoped Rachel would see and understand, and know just how badly they wanted her to be a part of them.

* * *

Rachel stood frozen outside her own bedroom, in the exact same position she had been in for the past few minutes - one hand raised to grasp the handle, the other hand holding a plateful of pancakes covered in syrup. A single tear wound its way down her cheek.

She should be mad that her fathers were conspiring and attempting to go behind her back. She was more pissed that they were dragging Santana back into all this. She should have been concerned how far all this was going to go, how much this was going to affect her life, her future, her mental health… but she was more concerned that once again she was causing problems and hurting the three girls she adored.

She had to put a stop to this. She had to stop being so selfish. She cared too much for the girls to let them keep taking the hits for her. First chance she got she was going to tell Santana this was over... tell all of them this couldn't continue.

Rachel heart felt like it was being torn to pieces in her chest at the thought of it going back to the way it had been before Brittany had invited her to Breadstix all those Fridays ago now. She just... wanted to have a few more hours with them first. Wanted to fall asleep in their arms one last time. Then... then she would do it.

* * *

**AN: Soooooo much angst! I do apologise for it, and for the bit of a sad ending there too =S I suck, I know, but I had to do it. We need something to get these idiots actually talking to each other and finally being honest about their feelings otherwise they're gonna drive us all nuts.**

**I hope you guys are still enjoying the story, I look forward to hearing from you and I'm hoping to have the next chapter typed up and finished next week sometime so wish me luck!**

**Much love, **

**Maxx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Sorry for the long gap between chapters, it's been a long and shitty few weeks and it ain't getting any better. I've hand written at least the next three or so chapters for you, and planned the rest of the story for the most part, I just haven't had the energy or the time to type it up. Plus I have quite bad carpal tunnel in both hands so it's hard to type when you can't feel your hands! But! I got my new laptop delivered a few days ago which has some incredible dictation software that allows me to write stuff without ever touching my keyboard, it's kinda awesome! It does make mistakes so if there are any that's why (and I didn't catch them on my read through!) and does not seem to want to write the word 'fucking' correctly at all so there's been a lot of flocking going on XD but it will allow me to type the rest of the story up for you guys much quicker =)**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews, you're all awesome and brilliant and kind people. I appreciate you all. And if I get the next chapter typed up in the next few days I'ma try and post that early next week for you! But I am starting my Masters tomorrow so wish me luck!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, except the piece of shit expensive car that I got back from the garage 3 days ago for £700 and has now stopped working again today for an entirely different reason. Thank god I'm on my Uncle's RAC membership or I'd be really fucked.**

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**Content Warning: This chapter contains scenes of threat, violence, death, homophobia and s*x. As well as mentions of suicide and depictions of mental health issues. Please be safe.**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

Finn's hand wrapped around Santana's throat, fingers squeezing, squeezing until she could no longer draw breath. She battered at him, hitting him wherever she could reach but the longer he had her trapped the weaker and slower her blows became. Finally all she was able to do was flail weakly at his arm, face tinged blue and eyes bulging as she felt her trachea start to give out under his strength.

All the while, Santana's eyes had never left the battered forms of the beautiful blondes that lay behind Finn. She willed them to move, to look at her, to say something to let her know they were okay and that her life was worth fighting for. They didn't move. Hadn't since she'd heard those awful crunching, snapping sounds – the same ones that she could now hear starting to come from her own neck…

Suddenly the pressure on her throat lessened and she managed to suck in a much needed breath. She felt hands on her back then. They slid to her waist and around to her stomach, arms wrapping around her tight.

"It's okay, Santana. Finn's only trying to help you." Rachel's voice came by her ear, smooth and seductive. "He knows how fucked up you are, we all do. We know how hard and painful life is, how little you care about anything. We know you just want it to end-"

"No…" Santana croaked out, trying to turn her head to lay eyes on the diva but Finn tightened his grip again to stop her.

"So I made it easy for you. It's the least I could do after everything you've done for me!" Rachel's arms got tighter around her – painfully so. "Brittany and Quinn were the only things standing in your way. With them still here you'd never take that last step into the darkness, would you? They've been the only things keeping you going for so long. So Finn and I did you a favour and got rid of them for you."

Finn's face twisted into a sick grin, eyes burning with hatred and satisfaction as a strangled sob slipped from Santana. Rachel squeezed hard and the sound of a rib cracking echoed around them along with a cry of pain from the Latina. Rachel was in view then, finally releasing Santana, only to fall into Finn's embrace. The boy wrapped his free arm around her and pulled her to him for a long, slow kiss.

Santana slammed her eyes closed as bile crept up her throat. "Rach, please, this isn't you. Please-"

Finn shook her so violently that Santana was sure he was going to break her neck. Somehow he didn't, but he did daze her and knock the last of the air from her lungs. So when Rachel turned to look at Santana and plunged the knife she held deep into the Latina's heart, there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop her…

Santana sat bolt upright in bed, dripping with sweat, heart in her mouth. Her hands flew to her neck and chest but found no wounds. That did nothing to calm her though as Rachel's awful laughter bounced around her head still. She whipped around, eyes landing on the three sleeping, breathing girls beside her and she felt her panic start to subside. She watched their chests rise and fall for a minute in the early morning light. She could still taste the bile in her throat, especially when she looked at Rachel but she shook those images from her dream away and slipped out of bed.

The Latina crept from the room, down the hall to the house bathroom – Rachel had an en-suite but she just… needed some space away, to clear her head for a while. Standing at the sink, Santana ran the cold water and splashed it on her face a few times. The temperature helped to almost reboot her, wash away the remnants of the dream and clear out those black feelings that it had inspired. Well, almost. She stared at herself in the mirror – dripping with water, a terrifying blankness in her eyes that just would not leave no matter how many times she told herself it hadn't been real, that Rachel would never hurt them, would never go back to that brute of a boy…

There was a soft knock at the door. Before Santana could answer, it opened and Brittany slipped in. The blonde shut the door behind her and locked it.

"San?"

The Latina met her girlfriend's eyes in the mirror and a split-second later Brittany had her arms wrapped around her. Santana didn't move, didn't react – she just stayed staring at herself. A bolt of fear shot through Brittany. She shuddered at the look in the brunette's eyes - it was one she hadn't seen since last year, one that scared the life out of her still. She had seen Santana at her worst, at her absolute lowest when the Latina thought there was no way back from the pain and the darkness and the anger. The last time Brittany had seen it was the day Santana had confided in her abuela that she liked girls and the woman had disowned her, called her disgusting, depraved, told her she was going to hell and she never wanted to see Santana again.

The dancer had not heard from Santana after the text telling her she was going to her abuela's so Brittany had gone round to the Lopez's and found Santana, fists bloody, face tearstained, staring at herself blankly in the mirror. She wouldn't say a word, or couldn't, Brittany wasn't sure. But it had terrified her to her very core because the Santana she knew and loved was just… gone. In her place was a shattered shell of a person who just simply went through the motions of living – for almost a month after that Santana just… existed. She put on a mask at school but as soon as no one was around it was like life was too much and she crumpled, collapsed into herself.

Brittany had refused to leave her side the entire month. She had told Santana that she had just wanted to be there and show her that she was loved until Santana believed it again. The truth was Brittany had this overwhelming feeling in her gut that if she left Santana's side… The girl wouldn't be alive when she got back. So she had not left the Latina for longer than the length of a class they didn't have together. And she never left her alone outside of school. Not ever.

But here they were again, that familiar gut feeling making Brittany feel weak with desperation, terror, uselessness. "What happened, San? I need you to talk to me, please." Brittany's quiet voice broke the awful silence in the bathroom.

Santana didn't respond.

"San?" Brittany shifted until she was between Santana and the mirror, breaking the girl's line of sight. "I need you to look at me, Santana. Come on, I need to know what happened so I can make it better."

Santana's eyes focused in on the dancer after a few long minutes of gentle prompting by the blonde. A stuttery sigh fell from Brittany and a relieved smile stretched her lips.

"Hey, beautiful." She hugged her girlfriend to her tight for a second. "Okay, now… talk to me? Let me hear that voice I love so much?"

Santana blinked, pulling back a little to look the blonde up and down as if she had never seen her before. "Britt?" A frown appeared on her face. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Brittany couldn't help the laugh that jumped from her mouth as relief washed over her. "Yeah, San. I'm okay." Only Santana could be in the middle of spiralling into darkness and still be more worried about Brittany than herself. "I need you to do me a favour though."

"Anything for you, Britt…" The Latina's voice was faint, strained, not at all like the usual confident, smoky, cheekiness that Brittany wished to hear.

"Can you name a song you'd like to listen to right now?"

Santana stared at Brittany for a long time until the blonde's anxiety got too much.

"San, please-"

"My immortal."

Brittany's breath caught in her throat and her heart sank. She covered quickly, forcing a smile onto her face. "Thank you for telling me, San. I really appreciate it." The dancer's eyes flitted about her girlfriend's form as she swallowed hard. "Are you hurt at all? I mean, did you get hurt this morning?"

Santana shook her head.

"That's good, San, really good." Brittany proceeded to check anyway, just in case. She took Santana's face in her hands, turning her head this way and that, eyes not missing a thing. Brittany ran her fingers through dark hair carefully, trailed them along olive skin, moving clothing out of the way until she was absolutely certain.

When she straightened up, Brittany found herself pinned with her back against the sink. Santana's eyes had darkened, were suddenly hungry, animalistic as she crashed her mouth against Brittany's, knocking the breath from them both. The blonde didn't hesitate to respond, kissing back and wrapping herself up in Santana. She wanted her girlfriend to talk to her so they could work through whatever had put her in such a black and terrible place but if this is what Santana needed then Brittany would do anything for her – anything to pull her out of that place and stop that heart stopping, gut wrenching look in her eyes.

Santana almost ripped Brittany's T-shirt in her hurry to get it off - she threw the offending item to the floor and latched onto the blonde's pulse point, hands pulling them ever closer together. Brittany lost her own hands in Santana's hair, holding her firmly in place as the girl sucked a hickey into existence. The dancer's jeans came off next, followed by Santana's shirt then Brittany's bra. Santana's mouth trailed wet kisses down to the blonde's breasts and took a nipple in her mouth. Brittany threw her head back and ground against her girlfriend but not finding any friction a groan of frustration slipped from her.

"San, please touch me… It's been too long…"

Santana growled against the blonde's skin, biting into the soft flesh of her breast with enough force to make Brittany gasp and a hiss escape. She soothed the mark with her tongue as her hands kneaded Brittany's ass. The blonde wrapped her legs around Santana's waist and let her turn and slam her back against the wall. It wasn't often Santana got rough with her – the Latina was usually passionate, thorough, gentle. If Brittany wanted it rough she had to wind Santana up enough for the girl to even consider letting loose like that and then she had to explicitly ask for it – that was the kind of lover Santana was. Usually.

When Santana's bruising kiss forced Brittany's mouth open and she plunged her tongue in, the dancer knew just how bad her girlfriend was right then. Yet she genuinely did not want Santana to stop; the way she was grinding her hips into Brittany, the way she was raking her nails down her back, the way she was leaving hickey after hickey on the blonde's skin – possessively marking her – made Brittany wetter than she'd ever been before. If Santana didn't give her what she needed soon she thought she might burn up.

"San, please, I need you," Brittany gasped in the Latina's ear, arms wrapped tight around the other girl's neck.

Without any more preamble, Santana's hand slid down and into Brittany's underwear, aimed right where the blonde needed her. Brittany's head snapped back against the wall when Santana slid two fingers into her roughly, a long, loud moan escaped both of them at the same time.

"You feel so fucking good, baby," Santana growled into her girlfriend's neck, teeth nipping, tongue swirling over skin maddeningly.

Santana drove into Brittany hard making the blonde's eyes roll back in her head and whimper for more. Her entire body burned wherever Santana's skin touched her own. She lost herself in the moment, in the feel of being in Santana's arms, fingers buried deep inside her, the coil in her lower stomach tightening…

"I'm so close, San, please, you know what I need!"

A feral grin stretched Santana's face as she propped Brittany up between her own body and the wall and pried one of the dancer's arms from round her neck to pin it above her head. Santana buried her face in her girlfriend's armpit – alternating open mouth kisses and dragging her tongue over the sensitive skin – all the while using her hips to thrust into Brittany with more force, thumb brushing over her clit.

"Fuck, yes, San!"

A deep, lustful growl crawled up Santana's throat at her usually PG-13 girlfriend swearing, another quickly followed as she felt the girl's walls tighten around her fingers and Brittany go rigid as she came hard.

Once the after-shocks had subsided, the blonde's head fell forward onto the Latina's shoulder, slumping completely against her as she panted. The feel of Brittany's entire weight on her, the amount of faith the girl showed in trusting Santana not to drop her made the brunette's chest puff. And when Brittany started peppering her exposed neck and shoulders with lazy kisses, Santana felt the darkness start to withdraw. The happy sigh that followed pushed it back even further.

"That was awesome, San." Brittany smiled into her skin. "I didn't realise just how badly I needed that."

Santana pulled back a little from the wall, arms snaking around to hold Brittany up still. "Did I hurt you?"

The concern and slight panic in the Latina's voice told Brittany she was in control again. Kissing her girlfriend softly on the lips, Brittany untangled herself and, when she was steady on her feet again, stretched enthusiastically. "That was _just_ what I needed, San."

Santana's eyes went wide as she took in all the bruises and bite marks she had littered about Brittany's body – the one on her left breast and the one on her shoulder just where it met her neck looked the worst. Brittany cupped Santana's face and made her look at her, dragging her eyes away from the marks.

"I'm okay, my sweet protector."

"But, Britt, I-"

"It's okay, Santana," Brittany said a little more forcefully. "We all need to let off steam sometimes, we all process stuff in different ways. I'm just happy that you let me help you. And! I got something out of it too. So win – win." She grinned, wrapping her arms around Santana again.

Conflict raged in Santana's eyes – she couldn't help but bring a hand up to trace the marks on Brittany – flinching and grimacing when the blonde had to bite back a noise of discomfort at the gentle probing fingers. "I'm sorry, Britt," Santana murmured as she dropped featherlight kisses over every bruise and bite. "I lost control and I… It won't ever happen again, not around you, not around Quinn, not around Rachel. I won't hurt you."

Brittany covered the Latina's mouth with her hand, sighing loudly. "You did not do anything that I didn't want and didn't enjoy. I could have left any time if I didn't want it, but I wanted it so badly. Because I always want you. How ever I can have you." The dancer's piercing blue eyes held Santana captive. "I know you would never and could never hurt me. I trust you, Santana. I trust you with me, with Quinn, with Rachel. The only person I do not trust you with is you. So I made a promise long ago that I would always do everything I could to keep you safe. Even from yourself."

A tear, blinked free, wound its way down Santana's face to Brittany's hand.

"All I need you to do is just let me be here for you. Just let me in. I can handle the rest. You just have to trust me, beautiful."

Santana tugged on the blonde's wrist until she removed her hand. "I do trust you, Britt. Completely. It's like you said, I just don't trust myself. I can't be trusted-"

"Yes, you can! You have people in your life who trust you – trust you have earned and proven worthy of over and over again!" Brittany suddenly snapped her mouth shut, eyes too and took a few deep breaths - letting herself get wound up would get them nowhere right then. "How about we make a deal, my love?"

A smile pulled at Santana's mouth and she encircled her arms around her almost naked girlfriend's waist. "What kinda deal?"

"A deal where you look after our family exactly the way you always have – with fierce devotion, unending love and by just being yourself. And you let your family look after you. All you have to do is trust that we love you and we will never hurt you either."

The Latina leant her forehead against the blonde's and breathed in all that was Brittany. It made her a little dizzy and tingle all over. "Deal. From now on, I'm in your hands."

Brittany couldn't help the huge grin that split her face in two as she captured Santana's lips and kissed her soundly – happiness radiating from the dancer. "Thank you. So… Will you tell me what happened?"

* * *

"Tell me again why we're going along with this bullshit and letting her go over there?" Quinn paced about Rachel's bedroom.

Brittany and Rachel sat cross-legged on the bed following her with their eyes.

"Especially after that fucking nightmare!"

"I know-"

"All of this has clearly got her fucked up if that prick has got a starring role in her unconscious mind!"

"I know but-"

"And My Immortal? Fuck, B, that's… That's fucking bad…" Quinn's voice had dropped to a terrified whisper. The blonde shook her head violently. "No, she should be here with her family. Safe. Where we can take care of her! She shouldn't be running off to fucking poke Gorilla Grod with a stick!" Quinn's eyes widened in horror and her hand came up to her mouth. She spoke through her fingers. "What if he pulls some sneaky bullshit and manages to corner her? What if he hurts her? What if he… What if he…"

Brittany leapt off the bed and engulfed her hyperventilating girlfriend in a hug. "You're spiralling, baby. Come on, take a breath. I got you."

Quinn clutched at the dancer as she fought to control her ragged, laboured breathing.

"I need you to listen to me, sweetheart. Okay?" Brittany waited until she felt Quinn nod and her chest stop heaving so much before she continued. She kept her tone gentle yet sure as she spoke. "We both know there's no stopping San once her mind is made up. We both know why she's doing this, why she has to do this. And we both know why we stayed behind. It doesn't make it any easier, I know. And we are all going to be anxious and worrying until she's safe in our arms again. There's nothing we can do about any of that."

Quinn sighed quietly but hummed her agreement.

"What we can do and what we can do brilliantly, is the thing San asked us to do while she was gone. Right?" Brittany kissed Quinn's forehead, both girl's eyes landing on the fidgeting diva on the bed watching them guiltily… as if she had caused this…

"Right." Quinn chuckled and dropped a kiss onto the dancer's collarbone – the hickeys littering Brittany's exposed skin did not escape her notice. But Brittany spoke before Quinn could.

"And anyway, Rachel's dad's would never let anything happen to Santana. They both already love her so they will look out for her, right, Rach?"

Rachel blinked at them. She hadn't heard much the last minute or so. She had been reliving the previous night for the millionth time – her, frozen outside her door, guilt ridden and in anguish as she realised she was still causing the little family pain and heartache. She knew she should have tried harder to stop Santana, knew she should have put her foot down and insisted she fight her own battles… When she had tried, the words almost out of her mouth, Santana had pulled her tight against her, kissed her so softly, smelled so intoxicating that Rachel's brain had been a mess. Then when the Latina had left, she had held the diva's face in her hands, such reverence in the touch, and – in between the softest, skin tingling kisses peppered over her lips and every inch of her skin she had access to – murmured at her to stay safe, that she would always come back to Rachel.

When the door had closed behind the girl, Rachel had lunged after her and had to be scooped up by Quinn to stop her following Santana out of the house. Her heart had pounded, her skin sung from the Latina's touch, from her kisses… And she still hadn't been able to say what she needed to- what she should have said-

"I think you should stay away from me."

"…what?" Quinn's head snapped up off Brittany's shoulder and her eyes trained in on the diva like a hawk.

Rachel swallowed hard but nodded jerkily. "I-I would like to-to formally request that y-you all stay as far away from me as you c-can. I've dragged you into enough o-of my problems. This – Santana going off to put herself in Finn's path again – it's wrong and it's dangerous and all for what? Me?" A harsh laugh came from the diva making the blondes' eyebrows shoot up. "It's not worth it. Putting herself, your family, in danger… causing more problems between you. It's not worth it… I'm not worth it."

As Brittany and Quinn watched Rachel seemed to fold into herself, her knees pulled into her chest, arms wrapped around them, defeated look in her eyes.

"What the fuck are you talking about, Rachel?"

"Quinn." Brittany warned, trying to soothe the onslaught of words she knew were about to be unleashed from her girlfriend. But Quinn never got the chance, Rachel's next words shut her up entirely.

"I heard yesterday. You were fighting again, because of all this with Finn, because… Because of me…" Rachel's voice was so quiet and sad that both blondes felt their hearts tugging them towards the girl, fingers flexing, dying to reach out and hold her. "All I do is fuck things up for you. And yet you keep saving me, keep looking after me. It's not right of me to be taking advantage of your kindness or your guilt anymore. I'm sorry." A strangled sob tore from Rachel's lips. "I know I should have said this earlier, I tried to but Santana… She wouldn't listen, she just… And then I was in her arms and I couldn't do it – but I-I should have! I should have stopped her…" The diva forced herself to meet the blondes' eyes. "Please don't hate me. I couldn't bear it if it went back to the way it was before…" Her words were cut off as such violent and painful sobbing racked her small frame.

It took only a split second for Brittany and Quinn to across the room, clamber onto the bed and have the diva in their embrace. Again, Quinn felt something in her fracture as Rachel's fingers clawed into her T-shirt and clung on for dear life; sob after sob choking out of her, tears soaking into Quinn's shoulder. When she heard a quiet sniff come from Brittany too, she gathered both girls into her arms and pulled them backwards to lie on the bed with her – Rachel curled up on her chest, Brittany cuddled up into her side. Quinn's own eyes were starting to blur with tears, but she blinked them away and just held her girls to her even tighter.

Words escaped her right them. She wanted to say something to comfort the diva, convince her they could never hate her, assure her she mattered to them – because she mattered so fucking much. But Quinn knew her voice would shake and give herself away, and that couldn't happen. She had to be strong and in control for them all. When Santana was back and she could draw from her strength, that's when she'd fall apart. But not now. Her girls needed her. She pressed kisses into their hair, to their foreheads, rubbed their backs, squeezed them just a little harder to get them through the tears and hopelessness, and the heartache that she knew they were feeling so deeply and so completely… Because Quinn felt it too and it shattered her.

Was that really all Rachel saw herself as? A burden and a problem to them? As nothing of importance? As someone capable of only causing pain? God, that was so far from the truth of how they saw the diva, so far away from their feelings for her. Quinn bit her lip hard. She had chastised Santana for not telling the diva that she returned the girl's feelings but in reality, none of them had been explicitly honest with her. They had been too terrified about overwhelming Rachel, scaring her away by coming on too strong but… In all this drama and bullshit they had completely forgotten who exactly it was they were dealing with. Rachel was still Rachel at her core – she was still that hopelessly romantic, big-dreaming, spotlight-loving diva.

But she was also that same girl the Unholy Trinity, and everyone else had hurt last year – she was insecure, damaged, lonely… She had been used and abused by boys and ridiculed and judged by the whole school. She had been told over and over that she was "too much". That she had to dim herself and change if she wanted to be loved and accepted. Was it any wonder she thought so little of herself now? Was it any wonder she didn't believe the Unholy Trinity actually wanted her and cared for her? Quinn knew they had fucked up big time. They had wanted to take it slow, prove their worth and their intentions to the girl… And yeah, maybe they had been scared of being hurt too, of been rejected… They had wanted this relationship so badly, yet they had managed to fuck it up themselves with barely any effort.

"Fuck." Quinn muttered, shaking her head at herself. Santana had only been gone half an hour, barely enough time to drive to the Hudson-Hummel house, and they had already fucked up the one thing she had asked them to do: look after Rachel.

When Quinn focused back in on the brunette, she could hear her repeating something over and over under her breath.

"Please don't hate me, please don't hate me, please don't hate me…"

Quinn felt bile rising up her throat. God, they had _really_ fucked up if Rachel thought that this would make them hate her. That anything would! She had to fix this, and fix it now, before it was too late and the diva shut down. They would never get back in then. Rachel would never believe a word they said again.

"Rachel…" Quinn forced a confidence and calmness into her voice that she didn't feel in that moment. "Rachel, we could never hate you. You are too… too important to us. You are too far embedded in our hearts for that to ever happen, I swear to you."

After a few more sobs and a shaky exhale of breath, the diva shifted so her ear was to Quinn's chest and she could speak clearly. "I-I am?" The girl sounded cautious and sceptical and it killed the blondes.

"You don't even know how much you mean to us, Rach. And I know, that's our fault. But I promise, as soon as Santana's back we will talk about everything."

When the diva didn't respond, Quinn chanced a glance down at her. The girl looked more conflicted than ever.

Quinn sighed. "I've been trying to get S to talk to you for a while now, but she's so fucking stubborn and so… guilt ridden."

"You have?" Genuine shock coloured Rachel's voice as she finally looked up at Quinn.

The blonde nodded earnestly. "She was trying to be sensitive and not pressure you but I'm guessing it was mostly just confusing?"

Rachel gaped at her for a second before a blush crept onto her face as Quinn arched an eyebrow at her. Rachel realised she had been waiting for an answer. Only the diva had not heard the question. Her mind had been stuck on Quinn's words. And the fact that the ex-head Cheerio had been trying to help her girlfriend and Rachel get together… Did that mean… Could it be… No. No, surely Quinn was only doing it out of support and love for her girlfriend. After all she did not know about the all-or-nothing deal Rachel had made with herself.

The hope that had made Rachel's entire body buzz faded just as quickly as it had appeared. She deflated and laid her head back on Quinn's chest. The blonde frowned, her lips pursed as the diva's whiplash emotions confused her horribly.

"Do you… not want Santana like that?"

Rachel's head shot up again, her eyes wide. "Of course I do! Uh… I mean…" The diva bit her lip so hard she almost broke the skin.

Quinn's frown only deepened. "Okay… Then what's the problem here, Rach?" The blonde heard the dancer huff out an exasperated sigh beside her.

"I…" Rachel worried her lip even more with her teeth. The words were on the tip of her tongue, all she had to do was just be brave and tell the girls what she wanted most in the world… "I want…" She was so close, just a little more. "…to stop getting you all hurt. So I really think you need to stay away from me." Her courage failed her. Her words were miserable. She was miserable as she tore herself away from the blondes and disappeared from the room without a backward glance.

"What the fuck?" Quinn, propped up on her hands, shot the dancer an exasperated, desperate look.

"Quinn." Brittany sighed with a slow, sad shake of her head. She wiped her face with her sleeves and sat up beside Quinn.

"What? What the fuck did I do?"

Brittany tucked a strand of her girlfriend's hair behind her ear with a patient smile. "You and San are so alike sometimes. You're both as oblivious as each other!"

Quinn scowled. "Are not."

Brittany laughed and tugged Quinn to her for a kiss. "Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Spell what out, Britt?" Quinn pulled away, throwing her arms wide in defeat, genuinely even more confused now.

The dancer sighed and cupped Quinn's cheek, smiling fondly. "We _all_ need to start being honest about our feelings for Rachel. Me, San… You." Brittany raised her eyebrows pointedly and waited while Quinn processed.

The blonde's eyes widened comically and her mouth fell open. "Oh… Fuck."

Brittany wrapped her girlfriend up in her arms with a chuckle. "See? Oblivious, stubborn and beautiful, both of you."

* * *

**AN: Next chapter is all about Santana and the Berry men visiting with Finn's family. Prepare for drama and yelling and even more drama XD**

**Also, question! Do you guys want more smut? I have two further s*x scenes planned for later chapters and I just wanted to test the waters here to see if it would be a yay or a nay from folks. Not sure how smutty I want to go but will probably be explicit, so let me know your thoughts on the subject.**

**Peace Out.**

**Maxx**


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: Well I've just had my first two days of Uni, well, of the Induction week anyway! Met the folks on my course, spoken to a few of them and they seem lovely and I cannot wait to get to know them and work with them on stuff =) it's been raining heavily all fucking day so not only am I soaked, I also found out there is a leak in my roof so there's water getting into my bedroom and no one can come sort it until tomorrow *sigh * apparently the world thought I hadn't been kicked enough while I was down. **

**I have nothing on tomorrow and I have a medical appointment Thursday so I mostly have the days to myself to type up and write for you guys so expect another chapter by next week! But I also need to chill and finally fucking sleep because I still haven't gotten more than four hours a night in the last 2 months and it's really starting to take its toll on me =/ so wish me luck with that!**

**Anywho, a massive thank you to the brilliant and kind folks who have reviewed and all the favourites and follows I've gotten, they make me so happy and always give me the boost I need to get working on the next chapter for you all. So really you're helping yourself too by reviewing and being lovely ;) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, not even the house with the leaky bloody roof I'm currently living in! Which does have its upsides cos it means I don't have to pay for or deal with repairs so =D**

* * *

**Content Warning: Mentions of s*x, r*pe/assault, bullying, shitty parents, suicide, violence, slut-shaming, pregnancy. Please stay safe.**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

Santana, arms folded over her chest, drummed her fingers nervously on her biceps. It had been exactly seventeen minutes and thirty-five seconds since she had been welcomed awkwardly into the Hudson-Hummel household by Burt Hummel alongside the Berry men. It had been nine minutes and six seconds since Carole Hudson Hummel has set down cups of coffee for them all and her and Burt had taken their seats opposite herself and the Berrys at the kitchen table. And it had been three minutes and fifty-two seconds since anyone had spoken.

Santana knew all this because of the clock that hung on the wall across from her that she had been staring a hole into since they arrived. The atmosphere was charged to say the least. And it had the Latina on edge, out of sorts. She had started to regret this idea the moment she had shut the Berry's front door behind her, leaving three anxious, concerned girls in her wake. All she could say so far was that she was glad Finn had not made an appearance. But she did not anticipate that lasting long once he got wind of her presence. He was nothing if not determined – his grudge against her and her family was petty but when he committed, he really went for it, she'd give him that… Now if only she could give him her fist squarely in his face she'd feel much better about the whole situation. For a few minutes anyway until Quinn heard about it then she'd never be allowed out of the blonde's sight again and she did not want to add any more burden and worry to her girlfriends' then she already had.

Another minute ticked by without anyone saying anything. Santana was so impatient, itching to get this over with that she finally snapped. "Look, we all know why we're here so can we please just get this started? I do have a life to get back to!"

All four adults stiffened, their eyes on the Latina looking between them expectantly. LeRoy cleared his throat and placed his cup carefully on the table. "Santana is right. This is not a social call."

Burt and Carole exchanged a pained look and nodded.

"We know. We just… don't even know where to start with all this…" Burt sighed.

"Or how to ever begin to apologise for the damage Finn has caused!" Carole sounded so genuine that the three opposite her relaxed a little.

They had almost expected a fight, to have to convince the woman that the girls hadn't made it up. It was a relief to know they could skip that part and get straight to figuring out where to go from there.

"We appreciate your candour, Carole, Burt. This is a difficult situation all round so we wanted to handle it as delicately and maturely as possible, so no further harm is caused to anyone." Hiram's voice was calm, he spoke clearly and confidently – in full lawyer mode.

"Thank you." Carole held Hiram's gaze making the man incline his head at her.

"So where do we go from here?" Burt straightened a little in his chair, all business now too.

LeRoy mirrored Burt's attitude. He folded his hands on the table and steeled himself. "We have been made aware by Santana that Principal Figgins is starting the process of looking into the… Situation between the girls and your son. We are also aware that that could take a long while for any outcome to be achieved so we wanted to explore other avenues while that was going on – this get-together being one such option." LeRoy glanced either side of him at his husband and the now silent Latina. "There are more extreme routes we can go down but out of concern for all those involved and the toll they could take on them, this seemed a better, safer choice for now."

"I agree," Burt clasped his wife's hand. "Carole and I have already spoken at length about this… Situation and we wish to offer whatever support we can, and we will do everything we can from our end."

"You have to believe me, LeRoy, Hiram, this is not how he was raised! I taught him to respect women and never lay a hand on anyone. But…" Carole swallowed hard, fighting back tears. "I was a single mom for most of Finn's life. I worked two jobs alongside that but I tried my hardest to raise him right, I swear to you!"

The Berry men found each other's hands and held tight, battling against their own emotions.

"We know you did, Carole." Hiram lent forward, his free hand stretching out for the woman's but stopped just short on the table. "We always want to give our children the best, all the things we never had. But we are having to work ten times as hard just to counteract the toxicity of our current society and all the rules forced onto the kids these days. Not just by us and society but by their own peers too."

Carole closed the distance to grasp Hiram's hand and squeezed it gratefully. They exchanged a small smile before sitting back again.

"Mr. Berry's right," Santana conceded. She let out a quiet sigh and sat up a little straighter in her seat. "High school is all about labels and fitting into those boxes you're put in. And if you don't, you're pretty much beaten down until you do conform. The toxic masculinity of the jocks is dangerous. Even the nicest, kindest of kids can get corrupted if they don't have the right support system, don't have an escape or even just lose the will to keep fighting it." She hesitated for a second before pushing on. "I know I've done a great deal I'm not proud of, last year especially. I've hurt people, made dumbass decisions and almost destroyed myself and the people I care about just trying to fit in and survive high school. If it wasn't for my support system now, if it wasn't for having Glee Club as my escape then I probably wouldn't be here. And I would definitely still be that angry, bitchy, Cheerio who didn't give a fuck who she hurt because… because I was hurting worse."

LeRoy felt so proud of the girl in that moment. She had so much guilt and pain about the things she had done and who she used to be – and shame was so plain on her face but she had still been honest and told them about it all in hopes that maybe it could help Carole… Perhaps even help Finn. He had such an overwhelming urge to hug the Latina to him and never let her go. To just apologise over and over for who her parents were and how awfully the world had treated her so far. Because hearing her admit to being suicidal, even though it was before he ever met her, absolutely broke his heart. And from the way Hiram was crushing his hand, he could tell his husband felt it too.

Carole dipped her head to meet Santana's eyes. "High school was bad enough when I- when we were there." She gestured to the adults around the table. "I can't even imagine how much worse it's gotten in the age of technology. I mean, you don't even have to be in the same country as someone to bully them these days! And then add on all the peer pressure and insane beauty standards put on kids, girls especially… I don't want to imagine…" Her face darkened. "And now my own son is a part of the problem too… God!"

"That's exactly why we thought this – us sitting down together – would be a good idea. So we can find a way to help Finn and stop all this happening again." LeRoy smiled kindly. "So-"

"What the fuck is she doing here?"

Santana's blood ran cold as her eyes homed in on the tall, pissed off looking boy stood in the kitchen doorway.

"Finn!" Carole hissed at the boy, whipping round.

"Santana is a guest in our home, she came with the Berrys to discuss the situation you've caused."

Finn scowled at Santana. "Why?"

"Because she is well within her rights to be involved-"

"No," Finn cut Burt off. "Why are you having anything to do with one of the bitches who spent all last year making Rachel's life a living hell?" The boy directed his question at the Berry men.

Santana gritted her teeth - her jaw clenching so painfully she tasted blood - her whole body stiffening. She glared daggers at the smirking boy, with a triumphant gleam in his eye.

"What, did she not mention how her and Quinn insulted and bullied Rachel every chance they got? How Rachel was slushied to please and impress them? How all three of them worked for Coach Sylvester to try and ruin Rachel's beloved Glee club? How they are still using her for whatever sick game they have going on-"

"Shut your fucking mouth! You know nothing about anything!" Santana stood so abruptly her chair clattered to the floor. "That might have been who I thought I had to be to survive last year but it ain't me, or Q, or Britt any more. And we would _never_ treat our relationship with Rachel like a game, like she was some toy to use and abuse whenever we got bored like _some_ people in this room!" The Latina's eyes burnt with anger. It took everything she had not to launch herself across the room and beat him into unconsciousness, until he got the message to keep her girls' names out of his mouth.

"Ha!" Finn laughed in her face. "You're the manipulative slut here, Santana. You, Brittany, Quinn – you're all liars. You're all sluts and users!" The boy jabbed a finger at Santana as he turned to address the adults again. "Between the three of them they've probably fucked most of the school, I know Santana has! And Brittany's so fucking stupid she even made out with the janitor. Let's not forget holier-than-thou Quinn Fabray herself. All she fucking did was tease and flirt when we were together, then she's spreading her legs for the first guy who buys her booze? If that's not the definition of a 'slut' then I don't know what is." He rounded on Santana again, stalking towards her with a sneer on his face. "You deserve each other. But leave Rachel the hell alone, stop corrupting her and using her. You don't deserve her."

"Finn!" Carole was on her feet now, Burt too, their mouths hanging open.

"That's enough, young man!" Burt made a move to intercept Finn before he could reach Santana, setting himself firmly between the two, hands out to physically stop the boy if need be.

"Oh, and you do, do you?" Santana snorted – her fury outweighed her fear of the boy and the consequences now. "Fine. If this is what you wanna do, let's do it." She rolled her shoulders and cracked her knuckles, taking a step towards him so she could square up to the giant boy. "You cheated on Quinn with Rachel. You outed Quinn's pregnancy to her parents when she begged you not to and got her kicked out. You belittled and called Britt 'stupid' more times than I can count, when you're the one who fucking believed you got Quinn pregnant via hot tub, you fucking ignoramus! You've chosen your reputation and popularity over your friends, over the Glee Club, over your own girlfriends every single time. You've gotten into punching matches in the middle of the school hallways. You treated Kurt like shit because you thought you could 'catch it'." Santana tapped Burt on the shoulder until the man looked at her. "I've seen him helping Puck throw Kurt in the dumpsters outside school, more than once. Not to mention laughing before when the Jocks locked Artie in the Porta-Potty."

Burt's head swivelled slowly back around to glare silently at Finn, his jaw tight as he puffed himself up to his full height making Finn gulp visibly.

"And since you brought it up, how about the fact that you knew Rachel liked you last year but because it would hurt your 'rep' to date her, you instead spent the year stringing her along, manipulating her for your own agenda, and at the behest of Mr. Schue, by the way!" Santana called over her shoulder to the Berry men. "And playing her and Quinn off against each other. You only ever wanted one of them when you couldn't have them. It was all a fucking game to you. A selfish, childish, pathetic game. It's no fucking wonder they're both so fucked up when they had you treating them like expendable garbage, getting what you wanted from them before leaving them again when the other had something you wanted more." Santana curled her lip at him. She shook her head and took a step back, not wanting to be anywhere near the boy. "I am so fucking glad they both had the good sense and taste never to sleep with you."

Finn started to open his mouth to bite back, hatred scarring his face but Santana was quicker. She was not done yet.

The Latina turned to Carole and pointed at Finn. "You want to know how your son could have ever done something so awful and unforgivable to Rachel?"

Carole's eyes widened and her lip quivered. She nodded hesitantly.

"Do you remember last year when you let your son kick a pregnant Quinn out onto the street after he found out the baby wasn't his? What he didn't mention was how his _still _best friend had gotten Quinn drunk, coerced her into a vulnerable position and then lied about using a condom. I don't know what the law says," she waved an arm in Hiram's direction. "But to me? That sounds like rape. He forgives Puck but Quinn is still a lying, cheating slut? Fucking really? I am so fucking done with these double standards. So if _he_ comes anywhere near me, Brittany, Quinn or Rachel ever again, I will press charges with the cops. Because if his _best friend_ can do something like that, what's to stop him?" Santana stepped away from the scene, backing up until her back hit the fridge.

Finn's eyes hadn't left her – it looked like he was trying to eviscerate her with just his gaze. But when his mother and step-father surrounded him, and the Berry men stood glaring at him, the boy shrank and stopped trying to close the gap between himself and the Latina.

"That's-That's bullshit! I would never hurt Rachel, I would never do that to her. It was just a kiss, I just had to let her know how I felt about her, that she didn't have to be with those bitches if she didn't want to because she has options!" Finn desperately tried to explain as he was backed out of the kitchen. "I was trying to protect her! From them! All they did was hurt and attack everyone last year, I just wanted it to stop. I wanted Rachel to be safe, I was trying to prove that I can look after her if she just lets me-" The boy's voice got quieter and quieter as his family root marched him back to his bedroom.

Santana's vision was a little spotty as her chest heaved, her breath coming out in hard, painful gasps. She took a minute to focus on her burning lungs and sucked in some deep, slow breaths. Her throat felt raw, like it was made of sandpaper and her head pounded. She hadn't meant to say all that but now that is was out there finally, she was kinda glad. It was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she could stand up straight again for the first time in years… maybe this being honest thing had some merit to it after all. She made a mental note to remember exactly that when she got back to her girls.

"Santana?" LeRoy's voice snapped the girl out of her head. The Berry men were stood before her, watching her with unreadable expressions.

Santana felt her throat close and panic stabbing at her lungs. These kind, caring men now knew all the shitty, awful things the Unholy Trinity had been a part of last year, and all they had done to their daughter. Not to mention how truly fucked up and shitty a person Santana really was. Her heart sank into her boots as she met the waiting men's eyes. Well, if this was going to happen then she was going to get as much out first before they could scream at her and banish her from Rachel's life forever – maybe that way she stood a chance… maybe that way it wouldn't hurt quite so much.

"Everything he said about last year is true, okay? But I can assure you, you could never hate me more than I hate myself." Santana wrapped her arms around herself, such a deep frown on her face as she dropped her chin to her chest. "But everything I said in your kitchen the other night is true too. We care so much about Rachel, we'd do anything for her… even if that means staying far away from her." She barely managed to choke the words out. They hurt her so much to even think, never mind say or actually do. But she meant them. If that's what it took to keep the diva safe then they would do it in a heartbeat. Even if it would be agony for them to spend every day keeping the girl they lov- cared for at arm's length, keeping their feelings for her locked away, never getting to complete their family…

"Santana…" LeRoy's voice was softer this time. He clasped a hand on both of her shoulders, squeezing gently until she looked up at him. "Maybe all that was true of who you were. But that is not who you are now. That is not the person we know."

"Those are not the girls who spent every day last week making sure Rachel was safe at school. Those are not the girls who have stayed by her side since Friday to ensure Rachel wasn't alone and knew she was cared for and supported." Hiram moved to his husband's side, a reassuring smile on his face for Santana.

"You are all still so young, still figuring yourselves out. And you are all so much more than your pasts, and your mistakes! Yes, it saddens us to hear that Rachel was bullied and we never want that to happen again, are we clear?" LeRoy raised his eyebrows at the Latina pointedly.

Santana nodded eagerly, firmly. She would rather die than ever let that happen again!

LeRoy smiled. "But I am also aware that our daughter has made her own mistakes and done her own hurting, right? I know for a fact she was the one who told Finn that the baby wasn't his."

Santana averted her eyes and half shrugged.

The taller man chuckled. "No one in this world is perfect, Santana. No one. But if Rachel can forgive you all, and you can forgive her, and move on, then so can we."

Hiram nodded his agreement. "And anyway, you guys have admitted you've done wrong and are actively trying to make up for it, make things right and be better people. Finn still doesn't seem to be able, or willing, to do that."

The men's words churned around Santana's head as she tried to make sense of all the emotions they had stirred up. Of all the things she could have imagined Rachel's fathers saying to her after learning the truth about her past with the diva, not one of the things they had actually said had been among them. These men, whom she had known for all of a week, had been more forgiving and generous and accepting than any of her own blood related family. How was that even possible? It took everything she had to fight back the crushing realisation that this is how family were supposed to be and she hadn't had to go through life feeling like a burden, useless, in the way… not everyone's family were as shitty as hers and Quinn's and, to be honest, that was strangely comforting. The fact that there were people out there who didn't have to go through the neglect and disappointment and abuse that they had gave her just the smallest sliver of hope.

When Santana finally met the Berry men's eyes again it took only a gentle yet sad smile and for her to clock the overwhelming kindness and concern in their gazes to rip her walls to shreds and make her fall apart. She lurched into LeRoy, burying her face in his chest as the tears came. She felt the man's arms engulf her, Hiram following suit. She heard them murmuring reassurances to her.

"You are a good person, Santana. Don't beat yourself up so much." LeRoy dropped a kiss to the top of the girl's head.

"You deserve to be happy and safe just as much as anyone. And as much as we should never have put you in this position, I know I speak for us both when I say we are very proud of you right now." Hiram's words only made Santana cry harder.

She held onto LeRoy even tighter and he returned her hug just as fiercely. He had a sneaking suspicion her own father had not hugged her, or shown her any affection at all, in a very long time. When he moved to pull away, Santana confirmed it with a shake of her head and a muffled sob. He made a promise to himself then and there to do his absolute best to make up for the years of distance and coldness he was certain she had received from her own parents. He knew it wouldn't change the past but perhaps it could make her future just a little bit warmer.

* * *

"I have no idea what's going on with him lately. I'm hoping he's just gone insane from all the hits in the head he's taken from playing football! But whatever it is, Finn needs professional help because his obsession with Rachel and the Unholy Trinity is dangerous." Kurt lay on his bed, cell phone held to his ear, staring up at the ceiling. He listened attentively to the person on the other end as they spoke. "Definitely, this whole thing with them has for sure made him lose his goddamn mind. I mean, he's my brother and I love him but…" The boy sighed, smoothing down his hair with his free hand. He uncrossed and crossed his legs as he listened again, nodding. "Exactly. I don't condone violence, I mean, I've been on the receiving end of my fair share, but I am genuinely surprised Santana, or Quinn, hasn't smacked him down yet after all the fucked up stuff he's done to them lately-"

"Oh, believe me, I wanna!" A voice came from Kurt's bedroom doorway.

The boy rolled onto his front, almost falling off his bed and dropping his phone as he did so. His eyes landed on Santana, lent casually against the wall, arms crossed, watching him with a smirk. Her eyes looked a little red and there was something a little more reserved in her demeanour...

"San-Santana?" Kurt gawped at her for a long moment. "Did I summon you by saying your name?" He whispered, slightly terrified. He glanced about quickly to make sure Quinn hadn't popped up too. The sound of a male voice could be heard coming from the phone clutched in the boy's hand.

Santana raised an eyebrow, her eyes going from Kurt to his phone and back again pointedly. "I'm not fucking Beetlejuice, you moron. More like Bloody Mary," She shrugged with a wicked grin. "But don't let me interrupt! I believe you were saying something about my girlfriend?"

Kurt's eyes widened even further and he gulped noisily "No, I- Uh- I was just…" He put the phone back to his ear. "Blaine? Yes, I'm here but I have to go. Call you later. Bye." He hung up and slid off his bed. "What exactly are you doing here, Santana?"

The Latina narrowed her eyes at him for a few very long seconds before a grin lit her face. "Relax, Hummel. I'm here to beat your step-brother's ass not yours." She threw herself onto Kurt's bed and laid back, her hands folded behind her head.

Kurt blanched.

"Fuck sake, Kurt. Stop looking at me like I'm gonna eat you. You ain't even my type, firstly!" She shot him a wink, making the boy purse his lips with a scowl. "And secondly, I've finally decided how you can start making it up to me for being Hudson's accomplice."

A frown appeared on Kurt's face. "I thought I was keeping Finn out of your way?"

"Oh you are. But you're gonna do this too because it's mostly for Rachel." She thought for a moment. "And for you as well, I guess." Santana beckoned him to sit back down on the bed with her.

Kurt rolled his eyes but sat cross legged opposite. "Fine! But only because it's for Rachel and I."

Santana snorted. He was as big a diva as Rachel any day of the week! "Here's what's gonna happen… You're gonna start acting like the goddamn friend you claim to be to Rachel again. And you're gonna fucking mean it! Then, next Friday, you and Rachel are gonna have a sleep over at her place-"

"Hold up, Satan!" Kurt held up a hand, disbelief colouring his voice.

"I'm not finished yet, _Lady Face._" Santana bit back at him with a glare. "You're gonna do the whole best-friends-sleep-over-experience and you're gonna make fucking sure she has a damn good night – because I will hear about it the next day and if I don't think you've pulled out all the stops, I'll be incredibly unhappy, Kurt. And you don't want me to be unhappy now, do you?"

Kurt recoiled at the venom in the Latina's voice, shaking his head frantically.

Santana held the boy's gaze until she was satisfied that he was thoroughly terrified. She softened then. "Rachel deserves something fun and uncomplicated, even if it's only for a night. She deserves friends, Kurt, a support system, to just be a regular teenage girl for a little while. Q, Britt and I, we can't give her that. Everything between us is so unsure and messy right now. There's too much history and too many feelings. So will you do this? Please? For her?"

Kurt sat a moment in silent contemplation – his eyes never leaving Santana. Of all the crazy things he had steeled himself for, of all the requests she could have made… this was not one he ever would have expected. But then again, he barely knew this version of Santana, so really he couldn't assume anything anymore.

Honestly though, he was still trying to get his head around the fact that Santana seemed to genuinely care for Rachel. As did the rest of the Unholy Trinity apparently! The girls were all such polar opposites – not just of Rachel but of each other too – that he found it difficult to imagine how any relationship between them could possibly work – let alone work cohesively! Except Santana was right, he barely knew Rachel either having been such a lacklustre friend to her of late. He knew he was to blame for that – when he had noticed the diva withdraw and close herself off, he had pulled away too, afraid of getting hurt himself. He regretted it every day but he had been anxious about making things worse for the tiny diva and could not think how to restart things with her again. So perhaps this was the perfect opportunity to solve the mystery of the Unholy Trinity as well as make things up to Rachel…

"Very well, Santana. I shall make the call." Kurt dialled Rachel's number and put his phone on loud speaker as it rang.

"If you mention me I'll kick your ass, Hummel!" Santana hissed at the boy.

Kurt waved her off as Rachel picked up.

"Hello? Kurt?"

The boy watched a soft smile slip onto the Latina's face at the sound of the diva's voice and he couldn't help the smirk and eyebrow raise he shot her. She was so fucking into Rachel and it made him happy to see the usually guarded, prickly girl being so open and loving to someone who wasn't Brittany.

"Hey, Rach, how are you?"

"I'm… I'm fine, Kurt. And yourself?" The diva sounded confused and… sad?

Santana immediately picked up on it and leant forward, concern on her face. Kurt did not fail to notice either but pushed on.

"I am well, thank you. I was just calling to check on you, I wanted to make sure you were okay after everything on Friday."

"You-You did? I mean, that's very thoughtful of you, thank you. But there is no need for concern. Santana, Quinn and Brittany haven't left my side all weekend." The smile in Rachel's voice was so obvious but her tone contradicted it. "They have been so sweet and so… so perfect."

Even Kurt was worried now. "So why do you sound upset?"

Rachel was silent but then a sniffle came across the line and Santana's heart beat picked up. Before another word could be said, the Latina had her own cell phone out and was furiously texting her girlfriends.

"Rachel?"

"My apologies, Kurt. I'm just… have you ever wanted something so badly that it's all you can think about? But you know it's all just a beautiful dream and the chances of it happening for real are a million to one? Yet you still let yourself hope and let the dream pull you back in over and over. Even though you know it's going to hurt so badly when it's finally over but… it's better than your actual reality so you just can't bring yourself to care at all…"

Kurt and Santana exchanged a look – Kurt with his hand clasped to his chest, Santana clenching and unclenching her fists, almost crushing her phone. Flashes of pain shot through the Latina's chest at Rachel's words – she had to talk to the girl, she had to explain, she had to make this right, she had to… she had to…

Rachel cleared her throat. "Forgive me, sometimes I can't control the dramatic diva in me." She tried a chuckle but it came out weak and strangled. "Anyway, was that all or…"

Santana nudged Kurt's knee hard with the toe of her boot. She stabbed a finger at him and then at the phone he held, her eyes wild.

He scowled at her but did as he was told. "Actually, I wanted to know if you were up for a Barbra fest Friday night?"

"Really?" Shock coloured Rachel's voice and it made guilt eat at Kurt.

"Of course! What could be better than you, me and Ms. Streisand herself? I'll even let you choose the snacks, I know how picky you are!"

Santana narrowed her eyes at the boy, about to kick him again but Rachel's quiet laughter stopped her.

"That actually sounds great. Exactly what I need, Kurt, thank you."

Kurt felt a genuine smile cross his face. "Excellent. We shall finalise the details tomorrow at school."

"I'm looking forward to it. Goodbye, Kurt."

"Goodbye, Rachel."

The call ended and Santana was off the bed and heading out the door before Kurt could blink.

"Santana?"

"I gotta go. Thanks for doing that," The Latina mumbled, distracted as she read something on her own phone.

"Santana!" Kurt called more forcefully.

"What?" The girl spun back to face him, a glint of panic in her eyes.

"Tell her how you feel already. Clearly she feels the same."

Santana worked her jaw side to side briefly before gritting her teeth hard. She gave a nod before turning and vanishing. Kurt sighed and flopped back onto his bed.

"You have certainly got your hands full with those three, Rach. I hope you know what you're doing…" He pressed speed dial three on his phone and put it to his ear. "Hey, Blaine, sorry about that. You will never believe what just happened though!"

* * *

Santana all but ran back through the Hudson-Hummel house towards the kitchen, heart in her throat. Quinn had finally text her back. The blonde had tried to tell her it was nothing, that everything was fine, but Santana wouldn't be placated. She knew her girlfriend was trying to protect her but she _needed _to know before she had a fucking panic attack.

'She said she wants us to stay away from her, S. She thinks she's taking advantage of us and getting us hurt!' Quinn had texted her the condensed version, Santana knew. There had to be more to it than that…

Santana's phone rang just before she got to the kitchen. Quinn's name flashed up and she answered immediately. "What the fuck happened, Q?" She hadn't meant to snap but she could barely think over the thundering of her heart and the darkness thrashing in her mind.

"I'm so sorry, S, this is all my fault!" Quinn sounded as panicked as the Latina did.

Santana reigned herself in and did her best to keep her voice calm. "I very much doubt that, mi amor. I know you care about Rach as much as Britt and I do. We just need to talk to her and get to the bottom of all this, okay?"

Quinn exhaled shakily. Santana could hear Brittany muttering reassurances and sweet words to the freaked out girl on the other end of the line.

"Please just get back here, S."

Santana smiled at the thought of getting far away from Finn and back to her girls. "I will be back as soon as humanly poss-" The Latina was yanked forcefully backwards, her phone falling from her grasp and clattering to the floor.

As the girl was hauled bodily down the hallway at breakneck speed, Quinn's voice sounded faintly, calling the Latina's name over and over, more and more desperate each time she received no answer.

No answer except for the faint sounds of a struggle that could be heard in the background…

* * *

**AN: Sorry about the cliffhanger XD I'm evil, I know, but I gotta do summat to keep you coming back for more! Plus if I just gave you everything without making you work for it you'd be bored stiff already! **

**Anywho, I hope you are still enjoying the story, there's still a shit ton of drama to come but I promise the ending will be worth it ;)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: I have literally spent the past two days working non-stop on this chapter for you guys, I wanted it to be everything you've been hoping for and more! I had most of it written up in my notebook but I ended up expanding it hugely so it's like, twice as long as I originally wrote it to be. So you get an extra long chapter today. Hopefully it will tide you over for a little while because I'll be at Uni all day tomorrow and then I'm back at work AND uni next week so may be a while until the next update =S This is the end of what I've actually written, but I do have the next few chapters mostly planned out so once I get time to sit down and write, it'll be reet. **

**Thank you so much to everyone for your reviews and favourites! You guys rock and you always make my day! I really do hope you enjoy this chapter, it was very cathartic to write! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own a damn thing. No, seriously, I own fuck all. It's depressing but in this economy? Not a chance in hell.**

* * *

**Content Warning: This chapter contains talk of attempted suicide, mentions of s*x, assault, threat of violence, neglect, homophobia, vomiting. Please stay safe!**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

Finn shoved Santana into his bedroom and slammed the door behind them. He planted himself between her and the only escape route.

"I swear to fucking God, Hudson, if you ever put your hands on me again it'll be the last thing you _ever _touch!" Santana spat at the towering boy, tugging her shirt back into place so it was no longer choking her where Finn had dragged her by the collar. Her heart was in her throat and her hands shook but she steadied herself, refusing to let the boy know she was scared.

"How else was I supposed to get you to hear me out?" He shrugged.

"Have you ever fucking heard of asking politely, you lumbering gorilla?"

"Yeah, but would you have listened?"

Santana could only scowl at him.

"Exactly." Finn deadpanned. "I only need a minute then you can go, I promise."

"Yeah, because your promises mean so much to me!" Santana snarked, curling her lip at him as she took a step towards him cockily – and against her better judgement. "What's to stop me from just kicking your ass or yelling for your mom right now? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't."

"Because I have a deal to offer you. One I don't think you will be able to say no to." Finn lent back casually against the door, hands stuffed in his pockets.

Santana eyed him suspiciously. She wanted to smack that smug smile off his face so badly and just step over him and out the door. But something stopped her… she was a little curious to hear what the boy thought he could possibly have to offer her that she would ever want or need from him. "You have one minute. Talk fast."

Finn's eyes glinted dangerously as he took a step towards her and looked her up and down. Santana had to physically restrain herself from flinching as he got closer still until he was in her face, looming above her.

"I will stop coming after you and your 'girlfriends', I will refrain from talking to or about you all, and the only time we ever have to interact will be Glee Club competitions and any class assignments we have together. I will even admit what I did to you and take whatever punishment or anger management classes they throw at me. And I will kick Puck's ass and ensure he knows never to come near Quinn ever again." He laid it all out clearly and calmly for her, making sure not to leave anything out of his offer.

"And what do you get in return?" Santana wasn't a moron, she knew exactly what Finn wanted before the words even left his mouth.

"I want you, Quinn and Brittany to end whatever you have going on with Rachel and stay as far away from her as you possibly can." Finn smirked gleefully, basking in his seemingly irresistible deal.

Santana's eye and lip twitched. Her fingers curled and uncurled into fists. Her neck cracked as she straightened and jutted her chin out, her face inches from Finn's own now. "Even if we did that, she would _never _come back to you. You well and truly destroyed that bridge when you forced yourself on her, dickwad." Her voice was low, dangerous.

If Finn had been smart he would have backed up right then and there but he didn't. He just shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not." His eyes were still fixed on Santana, daring her to try something. "But when you three publicly humiliate her and attack her in the middle of school, and I come to her rescue, she'll realise just how wrong she was about you and how right I am for her."

Santana felt physically sick to her stomach. Rage burned like fire in her veins and her whole body shook – longing to hurt him bodily, verbally, mentally, however the fuck she could. She snarled at the boy. "Do you really fucking think-"

"Ah ah ah!" Finn cut her off with a shake of his finger. "Don't say something you might regret later. Take a few days, think it over. I'm in no rush."

Before Santana could tell Finn exactly when, where, how and with what to go fuck himself, her name was called from somewhere in the house.

"Looks like our time's up." Finn stepped aside and jerked a thumb at his door.

"Oh, this is far from over, asshole!" Santana made a point to shove him out of her way as she passed by.

Finn smirked nastily. "I'm quite certain you'll see it my way, Santana. Sooner or later you'll take my deal. And for all your sakes, you might want to make it sooner."

Santana's blood ran cold as a bolt of fear flashed through her. She hesitated in the doorway – her whole body vibrating with anger, her fingers just itching to close round the giant boy's throat and squeeze until that awful smile was wiped off his smarmy fucking face. How fucking _dare _he threaten her girls! But the voice calling for her was getting more insistent and she needed to be back with her girls before she did something dumb.

"Give my love to Rachel and tell her I'll be waiting." Finn called after her as she slammed his bedroom door and strode back the way she'd been dragged.

* * *

As she got to the kitchen, Santana spotted LeRoy – the man's head swivelling back and forth frantically, posture rigid as he looked for her. "Santana!" Relief washed over him as LeRoy spotted the Latina finally.

"Sup, Doc?"

"Are you okay? Where were you? Quinn called me, she was frantic, worried something had happened to you…" LeRoy gave her a quick visual once over when Santana came to stop in front of him.

"Nah, I'm good, I just dropped my phone on the way back from the bathroom and… Oh." She bent down to retrieve her cell where it lay on the floor. "Found it."

LeRoy held her gaze. There was something off with the girl… something in her voice, in the way she held herself… he couldn't quite put his finger on it. "Are you sure you're alright, Santana?"

The Latina nodded but her voice was a little strained. "Just ready to get the hell out of here, Doc, that's all."

"You and me both. We'll say our goodbyes and head home, okay? We have a lot to process and discuss. As well as decisions to make." LeRoy clasped Santana's shoulder, smiling reassuringly at the girl. "But we'll do it together, you have my word."

Santana barely managed a ghost of a smile before turning and leading the way into the kitchen to get Hiram.

* * *

The drive back to the Berry's seemed to take forever. The Berry men were silent the whole ride back, each lost in their thoughts. The get-together had been a good start – they were on the same page as the Hudson-Hummel family in regards to Finn's behaviour and the need to deal with it head on. And they had even taken another step in getting to know and understand Santana. Plus they learned a little more about Brittany and Quinn too; although they did wish that the knowledge they now possessed wasn't so heart breaking. They also wished they had been more involved last year and insisted on family meetings more often – perhaps they could have nipped this whole Finn situation in the bud before it had even started, perhaps they could have found a way to help Rachel before her mental health had taken such a dive, perhaps…

LeRoy glanced over at his husband in the passenger seat. The tense posture and small crinkle between Hiram's eyebrows told him the man was beating himself up just as much as LeRoy was. Hindsight was 20:20 after all. But if they dwelt on all that then they would never be able to move forward with their lives and they both so badly wanted to do that. They so badly wanted to see their daughter happy and thriving again. They so badly wanted to look to the future and fill it full of laughter, and love, and singing again. The taller man's eyes flickered to his rear view mirror to see Santana staring intently out of the window, anxiety written on every inch of her body.

Santana couldn't sit still – her legs bounced, her fingers drummed, her brain going a mile a minute. She genuinely had not known what to expect to come out of going to the Hudson-Hummel's but it had only made things more complicated and possibly put them all even more at risk. She was furious at herself. Firstly for not punching Finn when she had the perfect opportunity to do so. And secondly, for letting him get in her head. Again. She had underestimated the boy's ego, his obsession with Rachel, as well as how far he was willing to go to get his own way.

All the Latina could think about was the three girls waiting for her – she needed to look after them, keep them safe and happy… all of them. She loved her girlfriends with everything she had, but what Finn was asking of them was cruel and impossible. It would be one thing if the diva actually _wanted _to be with Finn – but then again, after everything he had done to the girl now… even that wouldn't be enough to make Santana ever consider taking the deal!

Her mind went back to Quinn's text and she had to bite back the panic that rose up her throat. What the fuck was going on with the diva? Did she really not want anything to do with them? If she didn't, Santana would never try and make her stay. But she had a feeling that there was so much more to it. So they were going to fucking talk about it and sort this shit out if it killed her!

When the Berry house finally came into view, Santana let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. And when the front door was ripped open and the three girls appeared as they pulled into the drive, Santana's tortured mind finally quietened down and her heart left her throat to return to its thundering in her chest. She shot out of the car before LeRoy had even turned the engine off.

Quinn hit her first – slamming into her with enough force to have knocked her to the floor if Santana hadn't been ready for it – Brittany not even a split second behind. The blondes held her in iron grips, shaky breaths coming fast. Quinn's lips were on Santana's then, kissing her desperately, frantically, hands clutching at her shirt and hair. The Latina returned the kiss just as feverishly before breaking it to bestow a similar one on Brittany. They held each other until it stopped feeling like the world was ending… and until Santana's eyes landed on Rachel as she turned away from them with a heart broken look on her face.

"Hey, where d'ya think you're going?"

Rachel froze. She took a deep breath and turned back to find the three girls stood before her, intense eyes on her, making her shiver.

"Can I hug you, Rach?" Santana untangled herself from the blondes and took a step closer to the diva.

A whimper escaped from Rachel's mouth. The pull of the Latina was so strong. Her body and soul _ached _to be in Santana's arms but she knew if she gave in she would never be able to do what she needed to do… to protect her girls. Rachel shook her head at the question. She thought nothing could have been more painful than her conversation with Brittany and Quinn earlier, but the look on Santana's face right then was so much worse. She could literally see the girl's heart shatter – Santana's fingers curled, her knuckles turning white, she bit her lip so hard she almost broke the skin, her body shook with the effort of keeping her from closing the distance between them… and those dark eyes Rachel loved so much flashed with agony before Santana slammed them shut.

The Latina let out a breath. Her lips quivered. She opened her eyes and the mask slid effortlessly into place; feelings shoved as far back into her mind as she possibly could. She would not be able to get through this otherwise. She nodded once to acknowledge Rachel's answer before taking her girlfriends' hands.

"We need to talk. All of us. Now."

Rachel couldn't help flinching at the suddenly hard edge in Santana's voice. She trailed behind as Santana led them all down into the Berry's basement, shutting the sound proof door behind them, leaving a confused and concerned LeRoy and Hiram in their wake.

* * *

The moment they were in private, Quinn yanked Santana to her, hands and eyes frantic as they checked the girl over for any new injuries. She froze when she saw the red mark around Santana's neck – from when Finn had dragged her by the collar. Quinn's fingers shook as they traced the mark with such care. Her eyes met Santana's and the Latina couldn't help the shiver that went through her at the murder she saw in her girlfriend's eyes.

"He laid a hand on you?" Quinn's voice was barely above a whisper but it was dangerous.

"I'm fine, baby." Santana took the blonde's face in her hands. "He grabbed my shirt, that's all."

A growl ripped from the blonde, rage coming off her in waves. Santana's eyes darkened. Fuck, Quinn was so fucking sexy when she was pissed. She tried to shake that thought, and all the ones about future plans to rile the girls up for some rough, intense sex, from her head and endeavoured to calm the blonde down.

"Baby-"

Quinn tilted Santana's chin with her thumb and ghosted her lips along the mark one way and pressed gentle kisses back the other way. All thoughts flew from Santana's head as she sighed into the touch and just let Quinn look after her for a moment.

"I'm going to fucking kill him, S. I swear to fucking God," Quinn breathed against her girlfriend's shoulder as she kissed at the bite mark she had left the day before.

Santana couldn't help the soft smile that took over her – she loved how protective, how fearless, how fucking fiery the blonde was. It made her heart thud hard in her chest and her whole body ripple with the need to claim, and be claimed by, Quinn. She wanted to give herself to the girl so badly because she knew she would be just as safe and as loved with Quinn as she always had been with Brittany.

But first they needed to deal with Rachel…

"I'm sorry, mi amor, if I'm not allowed to neither are you."

Quinn grumbled wordlessly making Santana grin and wrap an arm around her neck, hugging her tightly to her for a long moment before she sighed.

Quinn frowned up at her. "S?"

Santana pressed a kiss to her forehead and one to her lips before stepping around her and approaching Rachel. The diva stood on the other side of the room from them by the stage, eyes on the floor, hands clasped in front of her. When she heard Santana move, Rachel's gaze snapped up to her and she took a half step back. The Latina immediately stopped – hurt flitting through her but she shoved it down. This was going to be even harder than she'd expected…

"Do you remember when we all went to Breadstix together, Rach?"

Rachel blinked, looking confused, but nodded.

"For every question you answer, we'll answer one too. But it's gotta be truthful all round, okay? And you can ask anything." Santana watched her carefully. She was sick of not knowing for sure, of hiding how she felt about the diva. She just needed some fucking answers so she knew where they all stood finally.

Rachel swallowed the lump in her throat. "Okay."

Brittany and Quinn moved to join them nervously. The blondes' eyes were on Santana – she was staring very intensely at Rachel. They knew this was it, finally make or break for them. Their hearts thundered, palms sweated, so much could go wrong here but… but so much could go right too. It was a risk they had to take if they ever wanted their family to be whole…

Santana spoke before anyone else could – her voice layered with desperation, she needed to know… "Do you really want us to stay away from you? 'Cuz if it's what you want, if it'll make you happy and keep you safe then… we will."

Rachel's lip quivered, her eyes filled with agony and conflict as they flickered to the blondes. "I… Truthfully?"

The three girls nodded, waiting with bated breath. Fuck was it going to hurt if she said yes…

The diva closed her eyes and choked back her fear. "I want you to be safe. And being around me has only gotten you all hurt. So if you stay away…" Her logic was sound, or so she thought.

"Firstly, that's absolute bullshit and you know it. And secondly, you didn't answer the question, Rachel. Answer it." Santana snapped, huffing in annoyance.

Rachel averted her eyes from Santana, answering in a strained whisper. "No. I don't want that. It won't make me happy at all. In fact, I think it might just destroy me entirely."

A relieved smile spread across Santana's face as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Me too." She admitted.

"And me." Brittany nodded, twisting her fingers together.

"And me." Quinn gave her a sad half shrug, eyes lingering on Rachel's own for an intense moment – making the diva's heart skip a beat.

"Okay, but… have you all been hurt as a direct result of having me in your lives?" Rachel pressed, daring them to lie to her.

Santana sighed, Quinn rolled her eyes and Brittany frowned sadly.

"Have you been hurt as a direct result of having us in your life?" Quinn folded her arms and raised an eyebrow pointedly.

Rachel humphed. "That wasn't an answer!"

"You answer mine and we'll answer yours," Quinn shrugged making Rachel snap her mouth shut. "I thought as much."

Rachel bit the inside of her cheek and held her tongue. They all knew what the truth was. It was just… no one wanted to admit it because every single person there believed the hurt to be worth it to have the others in their lives.

"Okay then!" Rachel drew herself up to her full height. She wet her lips with her tongue and reached deep within herself, gathering the courage she needed… "Do you want to be with me?"

The question had barely left Rachel's mouth before three voices answered:

"Yes."

Rachel's jaw dropped and her heart soared. "Really?"

Santana shook a finger at her, barely able to contain her beaming smile. "That was two questions, Rach. It's our turn."

The diva rolled her eyes but couldn't hold back her huge grin.

"Do you want to be with us?"

Rachel had expected the question; she had been waiting on it, hoping for it even. She met each girls' eyes in turn, lingering on Quinn as she answered. "More than anything." She watched as Quinn's whole body seemed to relax, her demeanour changing from tense, uncertain to light and confident. It made Rachel's heart sing to know she had such an effect on the usually, for her, unreadable girl.

Brittany bounced excitedly opposite Quinn, a giddy laugh escaping her as she shot over to Rachel and scooped the girl up in a massive hug. Santana took in her girls with such love in her eyes, happiness radiating from her as she met the diva's gaze. The Latina took a step towards the embracing blonde and brunette, Quinn following suit.

"Britt." Santana called to the dancer. "We have to keep going."

Brittany glanced over her shoulder at the Latina and pouted but relented and placed Rachel back on her feet before stepping away. "It's your turn again, Rach."

The diva calmed her fluttering heart, her skin tingling where Brittany's lips had littered her face and neck with kisses. God, she had missed the girl and it had only been a few hours that she had spent hidden away from them both, even longer away from Santana… she ached for them all. Especially when Santana looked at her the way she was right then – her dark eyes intense, bright, mesmerising, full of… love…

Rachel's eyes fell on Quinn again. "You told me earlier that you were trying to help Santana and I get together. Why?" Her voice shook as she spoke, nearly failing her, but she refused to let her courage fail her this time.

Brittany shot Quinn a told-you-so look making the shorter blonde roll her eyes. She turned to Rachel and pointedly held her gaze. "Because I see how you look at each other. I see the longing, and the lust, as well as the affection and how much you care for each other. I didn't want her to lose you. I…" Quinn hesitated, the words almost getting caught in her throat as she finally opened up to the diva. "I didn't want to lose you."

"You… didn't want to lose me?" Rachel could hardly believe her ears – was Quinn Fabray really saying that she-

"I care about you, Rachel. You're kind, unstoppable, insanely talented, beautiful… you got under my skin from the moment we met, in good and bad ways! You're also difficult, demanding, and dramatic as hell but… but it took the absolute terror of almost losing you, of seeing you so fucking broken and hurting to make me realise I don't want to live the rest of my life without you in it. So if getting you and Santana to stop being morons and admit your feelings kept you in my life, then of course I'm going to do it." Quinn shrugged, pulling at a thread on her sleeve suddenly shy at the realisation of how much her mouth had run away from her. "I know we have a difficult history. We've hurt each other and caused a great deal of unhappiness and upheaval. And yeah, I was wary of you, but I don't really trust anyone except S and Britt. It took me a while to sort out how I felt, and to figure out if you even liked us the way we liked you. Or if you'd even want to be in our family. I was just scared that you wouldn't want us- wouldn't want me-"

Rachel all but launched herself at Quinn, wrapping her arms around the girl's neck and crushing their lips together with enough force to knock the breath from them both. Quinn's eyebrows shot up, but her eyes closed on instinct. She wound her arms around Rachel's waist and kissed her back as she steadied them on their feet.

"Of course I want you, Quinn! How could I not?" Rachel mumbled against the blonde's mouth, pressing kiss after kiss to her incredibly soft lips.

Now that she was finally kissing Quinn she found she couldn't stop… the blonde held her so close, their bodies melding together, her lips tasted wonderful – like vanilla and the diet coke she'd had earlier. Quinn was tender, a little hesitant, but so passionate as she breathed the diva in deeply and let the heady rush of her first kiss with Rachel wash over her until it was all she could think about. The way the girl wrapped herself around Quinn, the way she lost herself in her and trusted her so completely that she let Quinn take control made the blonde's whole body beg to do this all the time.

At last she understood what Santana and Brittany had been talking about – kissing Rachel was like being on stage at a competition, singing in front of hundreds of people, hitting every note, every cue and getting every move perfect. It was a rush, yet it felt so familiar. It was anticipation and anxiety, it was freedom and fear, it was… like living your dream every day and getting to come home to the love of your life every night. Or loves, Quinn thought to herself with a grin, in this case. She had wanted this for so fucking long that a part of her couldn't quite believe it was happening… until Rachel moaned into her mouth when their tongues touched, and Quinn felt proof that it was real throbbing between her legs.

Quinn just about managed to pull herself away from the diva, remembering where they were and what they were currently trying to achieve. She could have sworn she heard a soft whimper come from Rachel when their mouths finally parted, and Quinn untangled herself from the girl with a parting peck on the lips.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for," Rachel gasped out as she caught her breath.

Quinn could only chuckle. She glanced about at her girlfriends – they stood, in each other's arms, watching them with matching smiles and shimmering eyes. She could practically read their thoughts as their eyes met: fucking finally! Quinn rolled her eyes, blushing as Rachel linked their fingers together and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

Santana noted Quinn's embarrassment and quickly shifted the focus. "I guess it's our turn-"

"Are your dads okay with you being with us?" Brittany jumped in. She cocked her head at the diva, her curiosity getting the better of her. The dancer was very good at knowing and understand people, so she knew how important Rachel's fathers were to her, and how much of an influence they would have over the girl, so she wanted to know where they all stood.

Rachel thought for a few seconds. When she spoke, it was slowly and with consideration. "They like you, all of you. They asked me all week to invite you over for dinner one night when Santana was up for it. And dad doesn't get the fancy china out for just anyone!" She divulged with a laugh. "I haven't really had a chance to have that conversation with them, to be honest with you. There hasn't exactly been a good time in between the assaults and all the confusing feelings…" Rachel frowned, pursing her lips. "But I think they'll be okay with it. They've always been incredibly supportive and open-minded people so I don't see why they wouldn't."

"Perhaps the thought of us defiling their daughter might sway their opinion a bit!" Santana smirked.

Brittany elbowed her.

"What? It might!"

"It didn't put my parents off," Brittany shrugged, pressing a kiss to Santana's cheek.

The Latina's mouth fell open. "You told your parents?"

The dancer nodded. "Why do you think they always whistle loudly or announce where they're going whenever they come upstairs?"

"I just thought that was one of their quirks!" Santana looked stunned. Then a frown furrowed her brow. "Wait, they've done that for almost as long as I've known you…"

"Uh huh. Well, they've been doing it since they caught us kissing that first time when we were in fifth grade. Remember? You tripped over Lord Tubbington and fell out the window."

Santana smiled fondly. "Of course I remember that, Britt-Britt."

"And 'cuz I told them I wanted to marry you the first day I met you in Kindergarten so they took it pretty seriously. Mom says they started the whistling thing mostly so dad didn't accidentally scar himself for life by walking in on us, but she said it was also 'cuz she wanted us to have a safe space to be together." Brittany tucked a strand of hair behind Santana's ear and ghosted their lips together, a smile curling her mouth when Santana's eyes fluttered closed and she leaned in.

Brittany obliged, kissing the Latina so softly and sweetly, earning herself a sigh of contentment.

"Thank you for telling me that, mi amor." Santana curled her fingers around the back of Brittany's neck and held the blonde close until her heart settled and her love for the beautiful dancer stopped threatening to overwhelm her. "I'm so fucking glad there's now two of us who have decent parents." She laughed a little shakily as she glanced over at Rachel, exchanging a smile with the diva.

Rachel cleared her throat. "Can-Can I ask anything?"

Santana held her gaze and smiled softly. "Anything you want, Rach."

Rachel nodded distractedly. There were so many things she still didn't, and still wanted to, know about the family. So she started at the beginning… "Why did you change?"

Santana stiffened. The blondes glanced between the brunettes, their eyes not missing the sudden tension that had appeared in their girlfriend – they were actually very curious about the answer too. Yes, Santana had told them many times that it was because she hadn't wanted to lose them, but it had always felt like she was holding something back.

"O-Over the summer, I mean," Rachel clarified. Her eyes darted between the Unholy Trinity as she clocked the change in the mood.

"I know what you meant, Rach," Santana breathed, her voice quiet and vulnerable almost.

She should have expected this question, should have prepared some half-truths to protect her girls but she hadn't. And she found that she didn't want to lie any more. The truth would hurt but it would also at long last break down that last wall between them. And anyway, she had promised Rachel the truth.

Releasing her hold on Brittany, the Latina gathered her strength and her determination. "I… I tried to kill myself."

Sharp inhales of breath filled the room, but no one spoke. All eyes were fixed to Santana – wide, sad, confused eyes.

"Last year was…" Santana heaved a deep sigh and shook her head. "Bad. My abuela, the one decent, loving parental figure in my life, called me disgusting, depraved, and told me to never darken her doorstep again. My father decided I was a complete lost cause and hadn't bothered to so much as look at me in months. My mother forgot she even had a kid most days. School was soul destroying – watching Kurt get bullied for daring to love and be himself, feeling Q pull away and having to watch her break while I couldn't do a damn thing, having all these expectations, and labels, and assumptions piled onto me and having to live up to them all every day was just… exhausting." Santana's whole body seemed to slump as she remembered those feelings. Her voice cracked when she spoke again. "I lost myself. I had no idea who the fuck I was. I didn't believe things could ever get better, that I could ever be happy and free to love who I loved." Santana's gaze fell on Brittany.

The dancer had tears spilling down her cheeks, her fingers clutching at the material of her pants so tight it looked like they might rip. "I knew it, San," She whispered.

Santana reached out for the girl again and took her hands, thumbs rubbing circles into the backs of them. "I know, Britt. You didn't leave me alone for weeks after everything with my abuela. You always did know me better than anyone, even myself. It wasn't until I realised why you hadn't left my side that the thought even consciously occurred to me, to be honest."

Brittany's bottom lip quivered so violently she could barely get her next words out. "When did you…?"

Santana almost didn't answer. But she knew she owed it to the girls. "The night Q showed up on my door step at the start of Summer."

"What?" Quinn lurched towards the blonde and brunette, disbelief and absolute heart break dripping from her voice at the thought of how close she had come to losing Santana…

Santana couldn't bring herself to meet her girlfriends' eyes, shame and embarrassment almost stealing her words from her. "Britt… Britt had had to go home. I had been… taking things, pills, one by one for about fifteen, twenty minutes before you knocked, Q." She was not proud of herself but in the moment… it had seemed like her only option. Life had defeated her and she just couldn't keep fighting any more. It was too fucking hard. But… "As soon as I saw you stood there, looking so beautiful and so broken, I knew I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. I chugged the last of Coach Sylvester's Master Cleanse I had in the fridge and spent the next hour throwing up on and off."

"Seems the batshit crazy woman finally did some good," Quinn managed to choke out in a shaky laugh as she dragged Santana to her for a hug that she had no intention of ever letting the girl go from. "I don't even want to think about what would have happened if you hadn't text me to go over that night, Britt. I almost fucking didn't… God!"

Santana's head whipped round to give Brittany a confused look.

The dancer just shrugged and let out a watery laugh. "Do you really think I would ever abandon you when you needed me? Even when I can't be physically with you, I am always looking after you. Like I told you, you just have to let me, you just have to trust us."

Santana wrapped an arm around Brittany's neck and dragged her into the hug too, a disbelieving chuckle slipped from her. It was followed swiftly by a pained sob. "I'm so fucking sorry. For everything. I should have told you… I shouldn't have even thought about doing it. I'm a fucking fuck up, and a fucking dumbass."

"You are a dumbass. But not for that," Quinn murmured into the Latina's ear. She didn't bother trying to stop the tears as they fell. So much had happened these last few weeks and they had barely had time to sleep, never mind process and deal with it all. Quinn was surprised she hadn't broken down before now but hearing Santana talk about… that… about how much pain she had been in, how hopeless she had felt… She couldn't imagine her life without her girls. And the thought that she had come so close to… She just buried her face in Santana's neck and cried, safe in her girlfriends' arms.

Santana lost her fingers in Quinn's hair, massaging gentle circles into her scalp. She knew the blonde had been at breaking point for a while now, and although she hated herself for being the reason that she finally broke, Santana was glad she got to be there to hold her tight and help pick her back up again. She never wanted any of her girls to go through shit alone ever again. She never wanted them to get to the dark, hopeless place that she had and think there was no other way out. Because there was always another way.

Yeah, maybe the only reason she had not finished the pill bottle that night was because she saw how much Quinn needed her. It had made her realise she still had a purpose, still had a reason to keep existing, at least for a little while longer anyway… but she had made her mind up to stick around for good when she finally started letting the blondes in and letting them love her. Well, 'let' isn't quite the right word! It was more like they sledgehammered their way in and refused to allow her to give up on herself.

She couldn't help the quiet laugh that slipped out. Nightmare Rachel had been right – Brittany and Quinn were her reason for being alive, they had saved her over and over and over again just by loving her, just by trusting her, just by existing... She tucked Brittany into her side even closer until they were flush against each other, smiling into the dancer's temple as she hid her face in Santana's neck.

"I love you both so fucking much." The Latina peppered kisses from one blonde to the other and back again until she heard them laugh weakly and nudge at her with their heads to get her to cut it out. She let her head drop to rest between them, eyes sliding closed.

Santana felt someone tugging on her shirt then and opened her eyes again to find Rachel stood beside her; the diva's big brown eyes swimming with tears, her hands shaking as she fiddled with the hem of the Latina's shirt.

"I-I had no idea, Santana. I'm s-so sorry, I never should have-"

"No, Rach. I'm glad you did. I wasn't brave enough to tell them by myself so thank you." Santana dipped her head to meet the diva's gaze. She held an arm open for the girl, just hoping that maybe-

Rachel didn't even have to think. She fell into the embrace with a loud sob. The blondes shifted so she could sink into the middle of them all and the diva just let the three girls hold her as she fell apart right along with them. The moment Rachel trusted the family to hold her as she came apart - as the months of shit and confusion and hopelessness overwhelmed her and rendered her broken - things finally started feeling right again.

Not just for Rachel either – the Unholy Trinity felt like the final piece of their puzzle had just slipped into place. And they gave a collective sigh of relief – as if somehow, they just knew things would be okay now that they were together. The diva had felt that too – had felt the warm, real bodies pressing in all around her like a comfort blanket and a suit of armour rolled into one. She felt so safe, so loved, so… happy that it only made her sob harder and the girls hold her even tighter to them.

The horrible irony of it all was that they had never felt so close to each other than they did in that moment. Rachel's soul jarred every time she thought about the fact that she could have lost Santana before she had ever found her… it sent panic rippling up her spine until her lungs felt like they were being crushed. If it hadn't been for the Latina's pulse thrumming hard and loud where Rachel's ear was resting against her neck, if it hadn't been for Brittany's warm breath on her face and Quinn's body crushed up against her own, the diva knew she would have already been in the throes of such a terrifying panic attack. The girls grounded her, and she never wanted to be more than a few seconds away from being in their arms ever again.

So Rachel said the words that had been carved on her heart and sat on the tip of her tongue since she had learned about the little family and saw their love with her own eyes - since their Breadstix date… maybe even before that, she wasn't quite sure. She pulled back just a little, lifting her head up off of Santana to look the Latina in the eye.

"I know it's not my turn to ask…" The diva started hesitantly, dashing away her tears.

Santana smiled softly at her, nodding her encouragement.

"I-I made a promise to myself weeks ago that… that if I couldn't have all of you then I couldn't have any of you. But I want to be a part of your family so much it actually hurts!" Rachel clenched her fist over her heart and squeezed her eyes shut. "So… if you want me, I'm yours. Can-Can I be a part of your family?" The last sentence came out in a rush of words, so fast that even Rachel wasn't quite sure if she made any sense.

But the way Santana was grinning like a Cheshire cat at her, dark eyes sparkling brilliantly, the diva knew she had understood.

"Rach…" The Latina glanced at the blondes. "You're already a part of our family. We've just been waiting on you."

Quinn and Brittany couldn't help but laugh as the diva squeaked and bounced on the balls of her feet giddily.

"Really?!"

Santana nodded earnestly. She watched the diva with soft eyes as she craned her neck to kiss first Brittany and then Quinn happily before focusing back in on Santana. Rachel had to stretch just a little, her hands gripping the Latina's shirt, tugging her until their mouths met. They breathed each other in for a long minute; just revelling in the feeling, the taste, the warmth of the kiss. Rachel could not even fathom how incredibly fortunate she was to have three such wonderful, caring, beautiful girls in her life. And how fucking lucky she was that she could kiss and hold and care for each one of them so openly now.

"Well…" Santana broke the kiss reluctantly to suck in a breath. "You might want to answer my last question before you decide whether you do want to be with us or not."

Rachel frowned and drew back. "What are you talking about? Santana?"

The Latina licked her lips nervously. She gently parted the four of them so she could gauge each of their reactions, but her focus remained on Rachel as she spoke. "Is there anything that Hudson could do, or that we could do to make you ever want to get back with him?"

Quinn raised an eyebrow suspiciously as Brittany cocked her head. Rachel recoiled a little, her lip curling in disgust at the mention of her dating Finn.

"I don't want him, Santana. I want you. All of you. And there is not a single thing I could think of that would ever make me change my mind about that." Rachel all but stamped her foot, annoyed that this was still on the girl's mind. "Why?" The diva leaned away from the Latina to narrow her eyes, scrutinizing her. "What happened at the Hudson-Hummel's, Santana? Did… Did Finn say something? Did he do something to you?"

* * *

**AN: I hope the fifteen chapter build up was worth it! They finally know how each other feels and that they all want to be together XD now if only Finn would fuck off forever... yeeeeaaaah, that's not gonna happen. He's a determined motherfucker, that's for sure!**

**I look forward to hearing what you guys think! Hope you have a good week and I shall be back with the next chapter when it's written, I promise =)**

**Much love,**

**Maxx**


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: Been a busy few days, had my first two of my Master's classes which were pretty good and I'm really rather excited about! Already been told the ridiculous amount of assignments that will be required before the end of this year so nervous and already stressed now too XD but I can't wait to get stuck in. I've missed being around creative folks!**

**Anywho, I wanted to get this chapter posted for you as soon as it was done but I was absolutely shattered after pretty much doing a fifteen hour day yesterday between work and Uni. So by the time I got home I was just dead to the world. But here it is... although I have a feeling you might wish I hadn't posted it after you read it =S**

**Thank you to all you awesome folks for reviewing, I adore you all and it means a lot to have some feedback about my work and my ideas. If only you guys were in my writing group at Uni, we'd get along swimmingly!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own a damn thing, except this crappy flesh suit of a body that just keeps getting hurtier and hurtier every day *sigh***

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**Content Warning: This chapter contains scenes of violence, assault, bullying, verbal and physical abuse, suggestions of sexual assault, blood, brief mention of death/suicide, mental health issues. THIS IS NOT A HAPPY CHAPTER AND IS QUITE VIOLENT. Please look after yourselves and do not read if you think it might be a trigger for you - if you still want to keep up with the story PM me and I shall give you the cliff notes version.**

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**Chapter Seventeen**

The slushie hit Santana full in the face while she was mid-sentence. The ice slipped down her throat, filling her mouth, as it blinded her. She choked on her words, inhaling a lungful of the frozen drink and coughed, spluttering loudly as Brittany darted to her side. The dancer smacked her hard on the back to try and dislodge the chunk of ice. After a long minute of pained rasping and horrible retching, Santana finally spat a mouthful of red liquid out and sucked in a much-needed breath. She straightened and leant back against her locker, anger starting to course through her replacing the fear of almost choking.

"Let me go after him, San, please! This is the second time today and it's only just lunch!" Brittany begged, her eyes glued to the direction that the Football player had gone.

Santana wrapped a hand around Brittany's wrist and tugged until the blonde looked at her. She shook her head firmly, her throat too raw and numb to get out words yet. Brittany sighed, annoyance and helplessness etched on her face as she slipped her free hand into Santana's and led the girl down the hallway to the nearest bathroom to get her cleaned up.

They pushed the door open to find Quinn and Rachel already in there. Santana frowned when she saw Quinn's silky blonde hair and alabaster skin tinted blue, her t-shirt soaked through and sticking to her, also with a blue tinge to it. Rachel stood before the blonde, a handful of paper towels and her slushie kit at the ready as she cleaned Quinn up as best she could. The two girls' heads whipped around when they heard someone enter – their faces fell upon discovering their girlfriends in a similar state.

"This is getting ridiculous!" Rachel threw her arms in the air as she took in Santana's soaked shirt, her shivering and her bloodshot eyes.

The diva crossed to the Latina and the dancer and pressed a kiss to both their cheeks before leading Santana over to join Quinn at the sinks. Rachel handed some paper towels to Brittany and the two of them set about cleaning their girls up.

"Who was it this time?" Rachel glanced over at Santana.

"Azimio." Brittany answered as she carefully unbuttoned the Latina's shirt to get as much of the ice off her as she could. "I'm guessing Karofsky got Quinn?"

Quinn grumbled at the mention of the hulking boy. Santana leant across to the blue-tinted blonde and nuzzled into her neck, dropping little kisses on her skin until she heard Quinn chuckle and felt her turn to capture Santana's lips, hand coming up to cup her sticky jaw.

"It's a good thing cherry and blueberry go so well together," Quinn smirked as she pulled away. Her tongue darted out to swipe Santana's bottom lip. "Mm delicious."

Santana could only shake her head with a grin.

Quinn frowned at her girlfriend's lack of a comeback. "S? What's wrong?"

The Latina gave a half shrug and pointed to her throat.

"Azimio caught her mid-sentence and she almost choked to death on the slushie," Brittany clarified – anger and concern creeping into her voice.

"What?" Rachel's head jerked around to stare at Brittany then at Santana. "Okay, Santana, I know you're trying this whole turn-the-other-cheek, be-the-bigger-person thing, and I'm so proud of you for that! But this is getting dangerous now." The diva stepped towards the Latina and took her hands. "I can't just stand by while you get targeted and abused like this." Rachel held up her hand to stop Santana as she opened her mouth. "And don't you dare say 'it's fine' again because I know for a fact it isn't! You, Quinn and Brittany have been getting slushied all week. You've had slurs and abuse and hate thrown at you by most of the school. I've heard the rumours and the gossip going around, so I know you all have too." She turned her head to look at the blondes, daring them to deny it, but they wouldn't make eye contact with her. "We _know _why this is happening. We _know _how to stop it. Just let me go and talk-"

"No." Santana cut Rachel off, her voice strained and a little raspy as she swallowed heavily. "That's exactly what he wants, Rach, and I would rather die than let him anywhere near you again."

Rachel's face fell at the Latina's choice of words. Fear clenched at her heart. She found herself with a handful of Santana's shirt, her other hand curling around the back of her neck firmly. She brought their mouths together in a searing kiss for only an instant before she tore herself away, hands still keeping Santana close, her eyes wild and serious. "Please do not say things like that, Santana. I beg of you. I cannot bear the thought…"

Santana wrapped her arms around the trembling diva and pulled her firmly against her. "I'm sorry, Rach. I didn't think. I'm not going anywhere, okay? Not ever." She pressed a kiss to the girl's temple. "And I know you're annoyed. And frustrated. And pissed off about everything. We are too. But out of the limited options we have, this is the best one. I will _never _take that fucking deal, not in a million years!"

"But-"

"We just have to ride this out. He'll get bored eventually, or the Jocks and Cheerios definitely will. We can do this, Rach. We have each other so the rest of those small-minded pricks can go fuck themselves. We already won." Santana shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as Rachel looked up at her with such happiness shimmering in her eyes.

"I know. I wouldn't give any of you up for the world." The diva cupped Santana's face – thumb stroking her cheek so lovingly. "I just don't know how much more of this – of seeing you all hurting and beaten down – my heart can take."

"We will gladly take a slushie every day for the rest of our lives if it meant you didn't have to. And that you were safe." Quinn tugged on Rachel's sleeve, a soft, sincere look on her face.

Rachel felt her heart melt as Quinn dipped her head and bestowed a gentle kiss to her lips before resting their foreheads together.

"You are so important to us, Rach. You're our family and we always protect our family. So just trust us. Just let us look after you." Brittany encircled the diva with her arms and smiled into the warm skin of her neck as she dropped a kiss there.

Rachel shivered at the contact. They had been together for almost a week and Rachel still couldn't quite believe these three beautiful, incredible girls were hers. And she was still getting used to being part of the casual intimacy they shared: the touches, the kisses, the hugging, the hand holding, even the little inside jokes and the way the three were so relaxed and at peace with each other. It was so overwhelming, but Rachel refused to run away this time. She would never run from them again. Not when she knew how it felt to be a part of their little family now, how it felt to fall asleep between them every night, how it felt to kiss them and touch them and… and love them.

She knew it was much too early to say it. But she did. Rachel Berry loved her girls with all her big, romantic, dramatic, diva heart. Sometimes it scared her how much she loved them all, but mostly it just made her giddy with happiness and speechless with thoughts of their future together… But first they had to survive high school. Something that was looking less and less likely as the week had gone on!

Rachel looked back up at Santana, round at Quinn and then over her shoulder at Brittany. "Are you sure?"

Santana held her gaze. "We're sure, mi estrella."

Santana was trying to remain positive, trying to just get them all through this, but every day things got worse and worse. Monday: the rumours and whispers started. Everyone knew about them by lunch. Tuesday: the first slushie happened… followed very quickly by the second and third. One for each of the Unholy Trinity - conveniently missing out Rachel, no doubt at Finn's request. Wednesday: verbal abuse, name-calling, outright homophobia with a side of slushies. Thursday: most of the Football team had followed them around all day. Just staring and leering and making lewd comments. They even followed them into the girls' bathroom – if it hadn't been for Coach Sylvester catching them Santana was sure things would have gotten even worse right then. Oh yeah, and even more slushies!

And now… Friday. It was only lunch time and Santana and Quinn had already been hit twice by slushies, and Brittany had taken one for her girls when she saw one of the Hockey douchebags aiming for them. She had stepped in the way and made sure to 'accidentally' trip him over into the puddle of rapidly melting ice and food colouring on the hallway floor in the process. Santana was genuinely worried what else was coming their way today - especially as she had noticed a group of Cheerios watching them from a distance all day…

The only silver lining to all this was that Rachel hadn't been targeted so far. She figured Finn still thought he had a chance with the diva, so he was ensuring she wasn't caught up in it… except he had no chance AT ALL with Rachel. A fact Rachel wanted to march over to his house and tell him. But Santana was scared that if she did that then Finn would have no reason not to go after Rachel the way he was going after the Unholy Trinity. And Rachel had suffered more than her fair share of abuse the year before, so the girls would do anything to stop that from happening again.

"Fine." Rachel gave in. "But at least let me go and get your jacket from your car, your shirt is soaked, and you have nothing under it."

Santana rolled her eyes but handed the diva her car keys. "You worry too much, Rach."

The diva only flashed her a smile and blew her a kiss before she had the bathroom door open and was gone.

"Britt?"

"I'm right behind her." The dancer was already half way to the door before Santana had even spoken.

Brittany didn't manage to get to the door before it slammed open and Cheerios poured into the bathroom, blocking the Unholy Trinity in. Santana and Quinn went on high alert, the blonde reaching for the dancer as she backed up towards them again and was shoved by one of the Cheerios – a tall redhead they recognised, by the name of Ashley.

"Hey!" Santana inserted herself between Brittany and the Cheerio and stared her down. "Keep your fucking hands to yourself."

Ashley smirked and came to a halt before the three girls, cockily folding her arms across her chest and watching them with calculating eyes. "Don't worry, she's not my type. I prefer my prey foul-mouthed, feisty and, uh," The girl flicked her eyes up and down Santana as she licked her lips. "Wounded."

Quinn growled under her breath beside Santana, her body coiling – ready to strike this girl down. Santana slipped an arm around the blonde's waist and held her into her side with as much strength as she dared.

"Oh, don't worry, Fabray. We're not all here for your bitchy girlfriend. You have some admirers too." Ashley jerked her head to her right where four Cheerios stood glaring daggers at Quinn. "They are particularly interested in how you got your body back after your, uh, mistake last year. Or, y'know, if you even did!"

All the Cheerios laughed as if on cue. Quinn recognised one of the ones glaring at her – a short blonde with a nasty sneer by the name of Louise. She had almost dropped out of the Cheerios last year when Quinn had been Head Cheerleader, driving them hard all the time to ensure they won Nationals. Clearly, she still held onto some anger and resentment!

Ashley smirked again. "Oh and last, but certainly not least! Brittany S. Pierce. You have no idea how many of us were riddled with envy over your moves, your flexibility… not to mention your aptitude for getting away with pretty much anything. I mean, that stupid make-out-with-the-whole-school thing of yours? Please! Some of the girls wanna see just how bendy you really are… if you catch my drift!"

This time a growl ripped out of both Quinn and Santana - the latter looped her free arm about Brittany's waist. The Latina pushed both blondes behind her and held them there.

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are, coming in here chatting shit, but if you don't leave right-the-fuck-now, I'ma go all Lima Heights on your ass!" Santana's voice came out steady and dangerous – not betraying the pure terror gripping her whole body as she saw no way out of this save for violence or by pure fucking luck. But since when did they have much luck?

Ashley's eyes darkened and she dropped her arms to her sides, fingers flexing. "I love when my prey fights back. Makes it much more interesting, don't you think? Foreplay is everything."

Quinn lunged at the girl from behind Santana, breaking free - her hands just missing, clawing at the air in front of Ashley. Before Santana could pull the blonde back, there was a flurry of movement as the roomful of Cheerios suddenly leapt into action. In the blink of an eye, three had dragged Brittany over to the door and shoved her in the corner, leering at her menacingly. Three more had Santana physically pinned to the wall beside the sinks - Ashley still stood, eyes hooded and intense, observing her as if she were her next meal… While the last four had wrenched Quinn over to the stalls, two of them had her arms restrained so she couldn't move, couldn't lash out at them as they laughed ominously.

"Get the fuck off them!" Santana snarled at the Cheerios, struggling against the three that held her immovably to the wall. "I swear to fucking God, if you lay one finger on either of them, I will rip you all apart with my bare hands! Consequences be damned!"

There was a reason Santana had been trying to 'turn the other cheek', as Rachel had put it. She knew that if she let her anger get the better of her, let herself be goaded and lash out, she would be reported to Figgins and suspended in a heartbeat. Finn had driven them into a corner – either they give in and accept his deal or get pushed to the point where one of them snaps and retaliates and thus is suspended thanks to the Zero Tolerance Policy that Santana had pushed so hard for when it came to Finn. But they had a third option: just take it until the sheep that blindly followed Finn got bored and moved onto other hobbies. She had hoped it wouldn't take too long, but Santana recognised this Ashley chick. She had been vying for the second-in-command spot when Quinn had been kicked off and Santana had made Head Cheerio. But obviously, as their best gymnast and dancer, Brittany had been made Santana's second, which had thoroughly pissed Ashley off! From what the Latina could remember, this girl was a devious, vindictive, determined bitch. Which did not bode well for them…

Ashley grinned wickedly as she sauntered towards Santana. "Oh, I don't think you will, Lopez. See, a little birdie told me that you've been tamed, been declawed and broken. Word is," the redhead stopped just in front of a stony-faced, straining Latina and bent to whisper in her ear. "You're weak." Ashley bit Santana's earlobe hard making the brunette jerk her head away from her with a grunt.

"S! Get the fuck away from her, you shitty excuse of a Cheerio!" Quinn struggled against the girls holding her, her eyes fixed on her girlfriend's face as it contorted in pain. She couldn't bear to see Santana get hurt again. The girl had suffered so fucking badly and she still wasn't healed from her bout with Finn, this was too fucking much even for the stubborn, seemingly-indestructible Latina to take!

Brittany made a move too, trying to get past her Cheerio guards, desperate to keep her girlfriend safe like she'd promised… but they were ready for her and slammed her backwards into the corner again. The girls drove their palms into her chest with enough force to empty her lungs and leave her gasping. The pained exhale reached Santana and blocked all else from her mind.

"It's okay, Britt, I'm fine. Just stay there, don't give them an excuse to hurt you, okay?" The Latina tried to look towards the dancer, but Ashley shoved her head roughly to the side, nails digging into Santana's jaw.

"Fine, huh? Well, we can't have that, can we, girls?" She glanced over her shoulder at the other Cheerios. "Perhaps it's time these Unholy bitches finally paid the long overdue price for thinking they are better than us and abandoning the Cheerios. Shall we show them what it is?"

The cheer that rose up around the Unholy Trinity made their hearts sink and go into overdrive at the same time. If they had thought their former teammates were going to go easy on them, then clearly loyalty meant something completely different to the opposing parties.

Brittany was grabbed roughly by the three girls; her limbs bent and twisted and wrenched in all directions until tears streamed down her cheeks and it was all she could do to let her body relax and go limp to minimise the damage as much as she possibly could. The pain was so excruciating she could hardly think never mind fight back - it radiated from her joints, her muscles, her entire body screaming out for it to stop…

"Let's see how far you can really bend!" One of the Cheerios sneered at the dancer as she grabbed one of Brittany's legs.

Quinn was restrained whilst Louise grinned manically and started yanking viciously at her clothing, trying to strip her where she stood. When Quinn fought back with all her strength – kicking, struggling, flexing until she almost had an arm free – Louise slapped Quinn hard in the face, shocking her into halting her movements just long enough for another Cheerio to grab her feet and hold her still. She was at the mercy of Louise then and could only watch and curse her out, thrashing wildly, as the Cheerio went back to undressing her – her favourite t-shirt ripping before her very eyes as it was torn from her body.

"Come on, Fabray, let's see what that screaming brat did to your body!" Louise leered at her. "I'm very interested in the damage it did downstairs."

Ashley held sway over Santana – she forced the Latina to watch as her girlfriends were tormented and humiliated and abused – the redhead's sharp nails drew blood she was holding Santana's jaw with so much force.

"No! Don't fucking touch her! Quinn! Get your filthy fucking hands off her now! And get the fuck off me, you asshole, I will fucking kill you all if- Britt! Stop it, you're hurting her! You're gonna break her, please stop!" Santana fought against the tears that threatened to obscure her vision, her voice verging on hysterical as she saw the girls she loved brutally, viciously assaulted.

It took all three Cheerios and Ashley to keep Santana trapped and immobile as the Latina threw everything she had at them - every curse word and insult, every ounce of strength she possessed in her body; she strained against them so fiercely that she felt her muscles burning, her joints screeching at her as they almost popped out of place, her throat raw from yelling. But try as she might, Santana couldn't get to her girls and the sheer horror and helplessness froze her brain.

So, when Ashley twisted her head until they were eye to eye and her smile turned predatory, Santana barely registered it. It wasn't until the pain ripped through her that she realised what the girl was doing – Ashley had her free hand at Santana's injured shoulder, her fingers digging into the wound harder and harder until she finally got a reaction from the Latina. The cry of pain that came from her prey made Ashley's smile widen. She shifted her focus up to Santana's head, her digits probing along her scalp until she found what she was looking for – the short line of stitches hidden in the brunette's dark hair was healing nicely it seemed… until Ashley's thumb prodded recklessly at it again and again and again. Each sharp jab made Santana wince. But that wasn't the reaction the redhead was after. She removed her hand and, in one fluid movement, pulled Santana towards her forcefully kissing her with a bruising, fierce intensity, teeth biting down at the Latina's bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, and then slammed her head back against the wall.

The crack and shout of agony echoed around the bathroom. It was so sharp and so loud it even managed to permeate the wall of sound in the hallway outside and catch the attention of the cheerleading coach as she prowled past, pushing through the flood of students. She whipped around, eyes narrowing and homed in on where the sound had come from. She marched over to the girls' bathroom, her very presence enough to scare off the Cheerio stood guard outside, and ripped the door open, storming in.

Sue Sylvester's eyes widened at the scene that met her, but she quickly covered it before any of the girls had even registered she was there. "Shut up!" The noise had been so deafening once she was inside the bathroom – the shouting, the cursing, the cruel laughter – that it was no surprise they hadn't heard her come bursting in.

The Cheerios froze. They knew that voice far too well and it sent terror slithering down their spines. Even the manic grins dropped from Ashley and Louise's faces and they stepped away from their victims – the rest of the Cheerios following suit, allowing the Unholy Trinity to drop to the floor where they stood.

"Care to explain why you're all in here, starting your very own lesbian harem instead of out on the field for practice?" Sue glared from one girl to the next until she was satisfied that they were all suitably afraid.

"B-But we don't have lunch time practice today, Coach…" Ashley pointed out.

The look Sue shot the girl had Ashley gulping and her eyes dropping to the floor in submission.

"Wrong! You all have lunch time practice every day for the rest of the school year and I expect you all to start running laps now until I say otherwise or else I will be adding five AM practices every weekend too. Now go!" Sue screamed out at them. She watched with satisfaction as the Cheerios jumped in fright and shot out of the bathroom door, sprinting down the hallway towards the football pitch.

When the door swung shut, Sue turned her attention back to her three ex-Cheerios. She found them huddled together on the floor, having just about managed to crawl to one another – Santana holding the back of her head with one hand, blood dripping from her lip and from between her fingers, and holding Quinn – the girl's clothing ripped and out of place, tears staining her face as her sobs came hard and fast to the point she was just hyperventilating – to her with her other, Brittany was wrapped around them both, her arms encircling them even with the obvious damage to her injured limbs. Sue's heart went out to them. They might not have been her Cheerios any more, and yeah, they royally pissed her off and disappointed her massively when they quit, but she had a begrudging respect and a genuine soft spot for the girls. They were the only people to ever willingly walk away from the Cheerios without being kicked out or broken by her first. They were strong, talented, intelligent, ambitious and Sue knew she would never have cheerleaders like them again. She had no idea what all this was about, why her Cheerios had targeted these three, but she would be damned if she was going to let it stand!

Quinn's broken sob pulled Sue from her plotting and she tuned back in to the girls. Brittany was ever so gently and carefully helping Quinn re-do her jeans and pull her torn t-shirt back on as best she could. Santana pulled the sobbing blonde into her lap when she was dressed again and stroked Quinn's back, her hair, held her so protectively against her chest as the girl broke down.

Santana felt Quinn shiver against her after a minute and glanced about her for something to wrap the girl in. "Britt, where's my… jacket…"

All three girls stiffened.

"Rachel…" Brittany's eyes widened. "She hasn't come back, San…"

Santana swallowed back the awful realisation that Brittany was right. The diva should have been back a long time ago, she should have found them, would have… if someone hadn't waylaid her…

"W-We need to f-find her, S. We h-have to… If something's h-happened t-to her again… I-I c-couldn't take it!" Quinn tried to get to her feet. But she was breathing so erratically and insanely fast that she almost blacked out. She tried again but found herself being firmly, yet gently pushed back down into Santana's arms.

Sue stood above them, her face momentarily softening before her expression became unreadable again. She looked to Santana and Brittany. "Look after her. And yourselves. That's an order." She handed Santana a handful of paper towels and motioned for her to hold them to her head to stop the bleeding.

Santana hesitated a second but accepted them. She held the cheerleading coach's eye and gave her a small nod, wincing as she did, her head throbbing intensely. "I got this. Just find Rachel."

Without another word, the woman spun sharply on her heel and strode out the bathroom, leaving the Unholy Trinity to lick their wounds as best they could, worry for their beautiful diva eating away at them with every second that passed.

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Sue Sylvester was a formidable person at the best of times. But Sue Sylvester pissed off and on a mission? People instinctively knew to get the fuck out of her way when they saw her coming. Experience had taught students and faculty alike to be afraid, be very afraid. And to develop quick reflexes otherwise there would be nothing left save for a pile of ashes.

She stalked along the hallways at breakneck speed, head on a swivel as she searched for the tiny diva. The girl could be hard to spot sometimes but she was definitely not difficult to hear so Sue kept her ears open too. It wasn't too long before her coach-senses were tingling – she spotted a red skirt disappearing around a corner at the far end of the hallway. Speeding up, Sue reached it in time to see one of her Cheerios disappear into the Auditorium with a glance behind her.

Sue had the doors open and was stalking down towards the stage, her eyes fixed on the nervous diva surrounded by Cheerios. The four girls in uniform stared Rachel down impassively as the diva glanced from one to the other with concern.

"Look, I don't entirely understand what you want from me or why you manhandled me all the way down here in the first place, but I would appreciate it if you would step aside and allow me to leave," Rachel gripped the green army jacket in her hands tightly and brought it up to hold against her chest. It smelt like Santana when she buried her face in it and gave her the courage she needed to straighten and, for the third time, try and get by the glassy-eyed, yawning Cheerios.

As one, the four girls closed in on Rachel before she had gone two steps, surrounding her on all sides and restricting her movements completely. She pursed her lips in annoyance and rolled her eyes. As frustrating as this dance they were doing was, the girls had never actually hurt her or said more than two words to her in the fifteen minutes they had had her trapped. But she was starting to get shaky, her anxiety clawing at the back of her mind. Something was going on and it did not sit well with her.

"All of you, laps around the football field until I tell you to stop or you're off the Cheerios!" Sue stomped onstage and barked at the cheerleaders.

The four girls squeaked and leapt away from Rachel as if they had been electrocuted. Their terrified eyes landed on Sue and they fell over each other to get out of the Auditorium and to the field as fast as humanly possible. The diva watched them go with immense relief and a hint of confusion as she turned to find Sue smirking in satisfaction.

"Miss. Sylvester?" Rachel took a hesitant step towards the cheerleading coach. "Not that I don't appreciate your assistance, but why are you here?"

Sue turned to face Rachel. She looked the girl up and down critically, leaning a little to either side to assess her from different angles. She hummed to herself, nodding when she didn't see any obvious signs of damage or distress, before abruptly whirling away and heading back down off the stage. When Rachel didn't follow her, she skidded to a halt and stared questioningly at the girl.

"Are you coming or not, Streisand?"

Rachel's eyebrows shot up. That was genuinely the nicest thing she had ever heard the woman refer to her as… which shot her anxiety into overdrive instantly, her heart thundering inside her ribcage. "What's going on?"

Something akin to sympathy flickered across Sue Sylvester's face but she quickly quashed it and started walking again. "Move it, Yentl!"

Rachel jerked into action, following the woman up the steps and out of the, lately incredibly unlucky and traumatising, Auditorium. She stuck close to Sue out in the hallways as the end of lunch crush started up – fortunately Sue parted the students like they were the Red Sea and she were Moses so they traversed the school quickly. It didn't take long for Rachel to realise where they were heading and, as they approached the girls' bathroom she had left her girls in earlier, she pushed past Sue and bolted to the door.

Her heart stopped when she stepped through and her eyes fell on the three girls huddled together on the bathroom floor. They were a mess of tears, ripped clothes and blood. Pain, humiliation, anxiety, anger and so many more heart-breaking emotions raged through them and etched themselves onto the girls' faces one after the other before Rachel's very eyes. But as soon as they noticed her, relief and happiness washed all that aside for a few, precious moments.

Rachel had crossed the bathroom and was in their arms in a heartbeat. They didn't even have to say a word, she just knew what they needed. Rachel allowed the three of them to fuss over her, check her for injuries or a hair out of place; they needed to hear her voice, see her face, touch her skin, feel her in their arms before their own anxieties would abate. The diva had figured all this out quite quickly this last week and it saddened her and made her feel so special and loved in equal parts. The sadness purely because so much had already happened to her, to them, to try and keep them apart… so now that they were finally together, the Unholy Trinity were fucking terrified of losing her. And Rachel was fucking terrified of losing them too. A fear that currently had a very real possibility of coming true!

Rachel wasted no time in getting to work; all business now because if she didn't do something constructive, she would end up having a panic attack and that would help no one. She stood and carefully helped Quinn to her feet, leading the still shaking blonde over to the sinks and propping her against one so she could set to work cleaning up the tears as well as the blue slushie now - Quinn refusing to release her death grip on the diva's hand. Rachel couldn't help but keep half her attention on Santana and Brittany too, not missing the great deal of pain emanating from them both – Brittany holding herself awkwardly, wincing with every movement, with every breath, no longer her usual graceful self, and Santana… God! Panic threatened to engulf the diva at the sight of the Latina's bloody face and hands, at the blankness in her eyes, at the exhaustion and agony that slowed her movements as well as her words. What the fuck happened while she was gone? She shook the unhelpful questions from her head and focused on Quinn.

Santana just about managed to clamber to her feet and hold steady enough to help Brittany up too – the dancer was in bad shape, her body continually trying to fold in on itself to lessen the pain from her abused joints and limbs. Without a word, Santana pulled out her cell phone and, with exaggerated care and a great deal of effort, scrolled through until she found the number she was looking for.

"You at home?" The Latina asked when her call was answered. "Okay. See you in a few." She hung up and slid the phone back into her pocket.

"San?" Brittany lent heavily against Santana, barely able to move enough to look at her. "Who-"

"The Doc." Santana nodded vaguely at Rachel as she looped both arms around the dancer's body and took the weight off the girl's trembling legs before she could collapse. "Just wanted to know where he was, I want him to check you and Q out, okay, Britt-Britt? Just to be on the safe side."

"And you, San." The dancer muttered against the Latina's neck as she let Santana lift her off her feet and into her arms with such care. "You need to be looked after too. Promise me."

A smile ghosted across Santana's face. "I promise, Britt."

Brittany nodded, satisfied with the answer. Everything hurt. She just wanted to go to bed now so she could wake up tomorrow and have it not hurt any more. Brittany could barely make sense of the words being said or the voices around her, but she fought the aching as best she could and managed to catch Santana's question.

"Can you make it to the car, Britt? Lunch is over, so we're gonna go home and rest, okay?" Santana pressed soft kisses to the dancer's ear as she spoke. "Doctor Berry is gonna help you feel better, we just gotta get to my car first."

Brittany felt herself nod and her body complain, her muscles shrieking as she took her own weight again. Santana wrapped an arm around her waist and shifted one of Brittany's around her own shoulders so she could support them both as they walked. Rachel and Quinn stood waiting for them by the bathroom door – the blonde, wrapped up gratefully in Santana's jacket, wound herself around the diva's arm, staying as close to her as physically possible.

"The bell went thirty seconds ago, why aren't you in class yet?" They heard Coach Sylvester bellow from out in the hallway.

The sound of hurried footsteps reached their ears. Sue's head appeared around the door. She appraised them briefly. They looked worse for wear, but Santana insisted they just needed to get back to Rachel's and they would be fine. And Sue's teacherly concern and impenetrable persona would only allow her to intrude and involve herself so far, so she had said no more.

"It's clear. Shift it before I change my mind about covering for your Glee-loving asses!" The woman snapped at them. Only her tone had none of its usual bite to it, instead the girls heard her concern for them, and it shifted their perspective on the woman just that little bit.

Sue Sylvester escorted the four girls as quickly as they could go – which was not quick at all – down the hallway and to the front entrance that led out to the parking lot. Fortunately, no one tried to stop them. Mostly because no one saw them but having the Coach with the petrifying reputation of insanity and lax student health and safety regulations certainly would have worked in their favour if someone had come upon them. She watched over the girls as they hobbled down the steps and slowly, painfully slowly, picked their way through the maze of cars to Santana's. She saw Santana pick Brittany up and place her with such exaggerated care onto the back seat, and then repeat the process with Quinn, before collapsing into the passenger seat herself, unconscious before she could even put her seatbelt on.

The car had just roared to life, but Sue was already striding back down the hallway towards where her soon-to-be-wishing-they-were-dead Cheerios were still running laps. She might not be able to help the Unholy Trinity the way she wanted to, but she could damn well make sure those responsible had a taste of their own medicine.

* * *

**AN: I know, I know, I'm an awful human being and a very mean writer but our girls have each other so they can get through anything. Plus I needed a catalyst for the ultimate showdown/climax coming your way in a few chapters. I do apologise if this chapter was difficult to read, it was difficult to write and I did not envision the story going this way when I started it but here we are. **

**Try not to hate me too much please and I hope you can stick with me.**

**Peace out.**

**Maxx**


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note: Sorry it's been such a gap between chapters. I hope I still have some of you lovely folks following this. It's been an incredibly difficult few months, well, I mean it's been an entirely shitty year so I'm exhausted as is but my mental health took a massive nose dive and my Masters course has kept me stupidly busy. I'm basically sucking at life and existing right now and struggling so awfully with every aspect of my health and balancing my life.**

**But! I'm doing what I can, asking for help, getting assessed for stuff and starting new medication so fingers crossed stuff will even out in the next month or two. Self-care is so important and sometimes I forget that but fortunately I have awesome people in my life who remind me =)**

**I am sorry I left you hanging for so long. I've had a difficult time with this chapter, and with writing in general (unfortunately my Masters work is suffering horribly too so I'm having to explain to my lecturers why and get support there as well!). If it's a little disjointed and not quite the same style/tone as the rest please forgive me, I wrote some of it back when I posted my last chapter and then finally was able to finish it these last two days. I wanted to post something to let y'all know I wasn't abandoning it. I actually managed to plan out the rest of the story yesterday too so I'll be slowly trying to chip away at it over the next few months. I just... don't know how my medication is gonna effect me yet so here's to hoping it doesn't fuck up my writing and emotions like my last antidepressants did!**

**Ahh the fun of being mentally ill/neuro****divergent, huh?**

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed thus far and supported me. I know the last chapter was difficult, it was difficult for me too. I know it seemed extreme but that shit happens all the time to queer/trans folk (and lots of other marginalised communities too!), it's happened to people I know recently and to myself once. High school is a rather shitty, hormonal, confusing, angsty, intense time. I feel like I'm still fucking going through some of it right now cos I'm a year or so on HRT and my hormones are nuts. Plus please remember this is a fictional world with fictional characters but that there is a real person using it to deal with a lot of trauma, and mental health and relationship issues of their own. Glee is bloody insane without my input, just suspend your belief and let me do my thing, okay?**

**Much love, **

**Maxx**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

* * *

**Content Warning: This chapter contains talk of injuries, medical stuff, mental health issues and blood. Please look after yourselves.**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Saturday afternoon**

"Rachel!" Finn's eyes lit up when his front door opened to revel the girl stood there. "I'm so happy you're here, come in." He stepped back to allow her to move past him… which she did brusquely and without so much as a word or a glance at him.

Finn was too wrapped up in mentally high-fiving and congratulating himself on finally defeating the Unholy Trinity to notice anything. He followed her into his kitchen, a lopsided grin on his face. When she stopped and spun quickly to face him, he opened his arms wide for her.

A muscle in Rachel's jaw flexed, twitching under the pressure of her clenched teeth. She managed to retain control over her emotions though and took a step towards the boy, forcing a smile onto her face. She stopped just short of Finn and held up a finger at him.

"You promise to keep your end of the deal?"

Finn lowered his arms, annoyance briefly flashing across his face before he rolled his eyes. "Of course."

"I need to hear you say it, Finn. It's the only way this," Rachel waved her finger back and forth between them. "Will ever happen again."

Finn huffed out a breath. He closed the gap between them and laid his hands on the diva's shoulders. He had almost forgotten how demanding and finicky the girl was but if this is what it would take to get her back and finally beat those three bitches then he would just have to suck it up and do it. "I, Finn Hudson, promise to uphold my end of the deal-"

"Wait, wait. How about we record this for posterity?" Rachel took out her phone and waved it at Finn.

The boy looked confused, a deep crinkle forming between his eyebrows as he scratched his head.

Rachel internally rolled her eyes but patiently explained. "So we can remember this moment forever."

"Oh. Yeah, that's an awesome idea, Rach. Go for it!"

Rachel took a photo of them together quickly before Finn could get any funny ideas or get any closer to her. "My apologies for interrupting you, Finn. You were saying?"

Finn frowned. The cogs in his head turning slowly. "Right… uh, the deal, yeah. So I promise to stop sending the Jocks and Cheerios after Santana, Quinn and Brittany, and to leave them alone for good, in exchange for them taking their claws- uh leaving you alone and letting us be together again. The way it was always supposed to be, if only they hadn't fucking stuck their slutty noses in in the first place!"

Rachel nodded slowly, narrowing her eyes at Finn. "And you won't hurt Santana again?"

"Fine, yes, I won't touch her, or grab her, or go anywhere near her. And I will apologise to her for shoving her against that locker. Happy now?" Finn tightened his grip on Rachel's shoulders, trying to bring their bodies together but Rachel resisted.

"And?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

Finn growled under his breath. "And… I promise never to touch you or any other girl without explicit, verbal, un-coerced permission ever again," he recited in a bored voice. He knew he had promised to do all this for Rachel, so she felt comfortable around him once more, but this was getting boring and Rachel was finally here in front of him.

He could smell her perfume, sweet and potent. He could feel the warmth of her skin through her blouse where his hands rested on her shoulders. She was so very close now, her lips just there, waiting, his for the taking… She was his, she would always be his. And anyone who ever tried to get between them would quickly come to realise you did not fuck with Finn Hudson. He had beaten the Unholy Trinity into submission, broken their bodies and their spirits from what the Cheerios had reported back to him – although they had apparently been interrupted so perhaps if the bitches tried anything he might just have to give the Cheerios a chance to finish their little bathroom get-together. If he could take them down, he could crush anyone.

"So?" Finn asked expectantly. His eyes gleaming with barely supressed eagerness and lust.

Rachel sighed quietly, her body deflating. "So… I accept your deal on behalf of Santana and, under duress, I consent to be your girlfriend again for as long as you hold up your end of the deal." The words tasted like acid in her mouth, burning her tongue, her throat, her stomach churning as Finn's face lit up.

Fear closed off her airway as the giant boy started to lean towards her, his eyes sliding closed, mouth aiming right for her own. Panic gripped at her lungs but Rachel sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes.

Instead of Finn, it was Santana. The Latina smiling at her, arms warm and secure around Rachel's neck, those dark eyes full of love and happiness, with a hint of lust that made the diva's whole body ripple with need. Quinn nuzzled into her cheek, soft lips just out of reach as warm breath tickled Rachel's skin and made her shiver. The blonde's body pressed to Rachel's right side, one arm wrapping itself around her stomach, hand curling around the far side of her waist, while her other hand cupped the back of her head. Brittany's giggle came by her ear as the dancer rested her chin gently on the diva's left shoulder. Her long arms encircled Rachel's chest and held the girl so tight to her front, their bodies flush against each other. A sense of overwhelming peace and safety and love settled over Rachel. There was no where else she would rather be than there in her girlfriends' arms.

So when Finn's dry, chapped lips descended onto Rachel's own, and his tongue prodding at her, clumsy hands moving down her body to hold her hips just a little too hard, Rachel felt none of it. Because Santana was kissing her with soft, full lips, teeth nipping at Rachel before their tongues slid together and the diva lost herself in the kiss.

* * *

**24 hours earlier – Friday afternoon**

The drive from school to her house was the most terrifying and anxiety-ridden fifteen minutes of Rachel's life. Case and point: the drive on the way to school that morning had taken Santana twenty-five minutes. Rachel felt her throat closing each time she had to stop at a light so her foot was like lead the rest of the time.

Santana had only been unconscious for a few minutes but it was a few minutes too long and had the diva at the wheel seriously contemplating ignoring the Latina's instructions and just driving her straight to the hospital. But the finality in Santana's voice and eyes ensured the shaking diva stayed on course and they pulled into her drive a little too fast and almost side swiped LeRoy's car.

Before Rachel had even turned the engine off Santana was out of the car and ripping the back door open. She so carefully, so lovingly scooped Brittany up and all but sprinted to the Berry's front door. Rachel almost fell out of the car in her rush to hold the door open for Santana. Before the diva had even started to figure out how she was going to help Quinn get inside, Santana reappeared, striding past her back to the car and had the blonde out and cradled in her arms. She carried her inside too, taking her time, holding her with such tenderness and strength that Rachel felt herself needing to do the same for the blood covered Latina.

LeRoy was already looking Brittany over when Rachel shut the door behind them. The worry lines on his face were etched deep, he took one look at Quinn and his face fell even further. "Rachel, blankets! Keep her warm, talk to her, stay with her," he shook his head as he went back to very deliberately and gently examining the dancer. He grimaced when the girl let out soft whimpers and cries at his touch, murmuring apologies to her each and every time.

Rachel dashed off upstairs to do as LeRoy had instructed while Santana set herself by the nearest heating vent, Quinn on her lap, safe in her arms.

"I've got you," Santana pressed a kiss into the blonde's hair, burying her face in it, murmuring sweet nothings.

Rachel skidded back into the lounge, arms full of blankets and pillows. She covered the two girls with them, wrapping Quinn as tightly as she could. She watched, her heart in her throat as Quinn's shaking started to get less violent and a little colour came back to her face. Still it was like there was no one there, she was just… blank, empty. Rachel met Santana's gaze and felt her heart stop mid-beat at the pure terror in the Latina's eyes. The only small comfort being that she knew it was reflected in her own – that they were in this together…

"Rach, I need you to go sit with Britt. Please. She needs you." Santana's voice was low, strained, kept soft for Quinn's benefit.

Rachel's eyes flickered to Quinn then back to Santana before she nodded, swallowing hard. She got to her feet and hurried to Brittany's side. She sat next to the dancer and laid a gentle hand on her girlfriend's thigh taking great care not to hurt her further. Brittany flinched but, upon realising who it was, slipped her hand into Rachel's and squeezed. The dancer visibly relaxing as Rachel shifted closer, taking Brittany's hand with both of hers and pressing a featherlight kiss to the blonde's lips.

LeRoy moved away to find the medical kit he always kept at home. He rummaged in it for a few moments before returning to Brittany and crouching beside her. "Can you take these for me, Brittany?"

Brittany opened her free hand and let LeRoy tip the pills into her palm.

"It's aspirin. It'll help with the pain, I promise. I'll get you something strong later."

The dancer just about managed to raise the hand and let the pills roll into her mouth. LeRoy handed her a bottle of water and waited patiently while it inched towards her mouth amid quiet groans of pain.

"I'll get you some ice packs, you'll need to try and keep it- uh them elevated if you can," LeRoy frowned at himself, at how useless his advice was. This wasn't just a sprained ankle or a twisted shoulder. The dancer's entire body had been abused, had been wrenched and twisted out of place. She needed rest and painkillers and a lot of TLC, yet still Brittany couldn't take her eyes away from Quinn and Santana, concern radiating off her.

"I'm all better now, Doctor Berry," Brittany smiled faintly, handing the water bottle back with great difficulty. "You need to go and look after San and Quinn, okay?"

LeRoy's heart clenched as the dancer beckoned him closer and lowered her voice to a whisper.

"If San won't let you help her tell her I said she has to and I'll be sad if she doesn't."

A miserable chuckle slipped from LeRoy as he nodded and straightened. He moved to kneel beside Santana, who shook her head firmly.

"Q first, Doc."

LeRoy didn't have the heart to argue with her – even when his eyes widened at the blood in her hair, on her face and neck. Quinn was pale. Paler than usual and shivering something awful. Her chest heaved; short, sharp gasps of breath rocked her body and showed no sign of evening out. She was in shock for sure, and the obvious signs of a panic attack on top of that made LeRoy wonder what the ever-loving fuck had happened to these girls.

Seeing nothing more than a few scratches and bruises on Quinn, and cleaning and treating them accordingly, LeRoy turned to Santana again. She refused to look at him or engage, her eyes fixed to the blonde in her arms as Quinn's fingers held tight to her t-shirt – the only sign she was still in there at all.

"Santana?" The doctor's eyes never left the Latina's face. "Santana, I need to check you over. There's blood, and rather a lot of it-"

"And she was unconscious in the car, daddy." Rachel called over, worry lacing her voice.

Santana's eyes flickered to Rachel accusingly for a moment, but the diva did not flinch.

"Let daddy help you, Santana. Please."

"Come on, San. You promised to let us take care of you. You promised me." Brittany's quiet voice drew Santana's gaze, which soften immediately.

The Latina growled out a few curses in Spanish but nodded her consent to LeRoy. "Fine. But if you so much as mention going to hospital…" she left the threat hanging ominously.

"Santana," Rachel chastised.

"No, Rach. I'm not leaving them. Or you. So don't ask me to."

The fire that burned in her eyes for the briefest second took the diva's breath away. But then it was gone and the Latina just looked… defeated… And it shattered Rachel's already cracking heart.

* * *

Brittany, Santana and Quinn had finally fallen asleep. The latter in Rachel's arms when the shaking and panic attacks had lessened to allow her to relax. Rachel murmured softly in Quinn's ear, hands rubbing soothing circles into her back as they sat in the recliner in the Berry's living room, holding the shorter blonde the way she had seen Santana hold her. Brittany refused to be more than a foot from Santana at any time. The dancer's eyes hadn't left the Latina since Santana had passed out again for a few terrifying seconds when LeRoy had started to stitch her up. If it had not been for the painkillers LeRoy had prescribed for her, Brittany would still be sat beside Santana, hand held between her own as her thumbs drew intricate patterns on the back of the barely conscious girl's hand. Thankfully, she had listened to Rachel's pleas to rest and allowed sleep to take her. Even so, Brittany had curled up on the couch at Santana's side with one arm draped protectively over her girlfriend's stomach.

LeRoy had done a thorough examination of all three of them. He had tried to insist on checking Rachel over too, but she had only shaken her head and pointed at her girls with tears in her eyes and the no-nonsense set of her jaw that LeRoy knew never to argue with. The doctor had not pushed. Concern chewed at his mind as he continued to discover the extent of the injuries the girls had returned with and it took a great deal of discipline and control not to let it cloud his mind – he needed to be cool, calm, professional Doctor Berry, not Papa LeRoy, who was right then filled with rage and dying to march over to that school and find every last person who had ever hurt these girls and make them regret it.

He had done everything he possibly could: stitching and cleaning Santana up, making her comfortable as the pain finally overtook her and her adrenaline wore off, carefully stretching and icing Brittany's abused joints and limbs once the painkillers had taken effect, kept Quinn warm and sat beside her talking quietly as she battled her way through shock and some severe panic attacks.

LeRoy was torn. He had a duty of care to his patients, to these girls, and he couldn't bear it if anything happened to them because of him. He knew how Santana felt about hospitals but if he had to make the call, he would. He would rather she hate him forever than end up dead. It would break his heart to lose the girl, and he knew Rachel, Brittany and Quinn would be inconsolable. So he was going to do everything in his power to keep her with them. Yes, even if that meant going against his patient's wishes. He knew it was unethical of him but she was still a minor, technically, so if Gabriel wanted nothing to do with his daughter then LeRoy would happily step in.

LeRoy brushed a strand of hair from Santana's face as the girl finally let sleep, and the painkillers, take her. He watched her for a moment longer – noting her slow, even breathing, the deep bruise-like circles under her eyes, the faint lines of worry that had started to appear over the last week. He so badly wanted to wipe those lines away, even tried to with his thumb, but they would not fade. The doctor heaved out a sigh and took the Latina's pulse and temperature once again.

His eyes drifting over to Brittany as he counted silently. The pain had finally gone from her face, her body had finally relaxed out of the awkward, unnatural way she had been holding it and he breathed a little easier as he watched her stretch out beside Santana. It would take time, dedication and perhaps some physiotherapy, but the dancer would be okay, LeRoy was sure of it. Because he would do everything in his power as a doctor and a father to make it so – he had seen Brittany dance, he knew how incredible she was, how much it meant to her, how much a part of her it was… he would not let anyone destroy what she loved and what she was so obviously meant to do on this earth...

LeRoy straightened with a sigh and set his sights on his daughter. She had point-blank refused to talk to him about what had happened until he had done everything he could for the Unholy Trinity. Now that he had, he needed to know… He pulled a chair over to the recliner and sat beside his daughter, the girl's eyes still glued to the blonde in her arms.

"Rachel…"

The diva didn't turn, only hmm-ing her acknowledgement of his presence.

"I need to know what happened."

"I can't tell you that." Rachel kept her voice soft as her fingers combed through Quinn's hair with reverence.

LeRoy frowned. "This isn't a game, Rachel, you have to-"

Rachel's head snapped up. "I'm well aware of that, daddy."

The man's words caught in his throat at the fury in his daughter's eyes.

"I can't tell you because I don't know exactly what happened. The Cheerios cornered me and would not let me leave… I should have tried harder…" Rachel's eyes drifted over to the two girls on the couch. "I should have been there…"

LeRoy choked back his anger that, once again, these girls had been targeted in that school. He was grateful that this time it had not been Rachel who was the subject of the bullying but what about next time? Or the time after that? Or the time after that? She still had two plus years left in that place, with those vicious, unrelenting kids… No. That was not happening. Over his dead body was she going back there.

"I think it's time we seriously discussed your options here, Rachel. You are not staying in that school so it's either go to another one, a private one if we have to, or home schooling-"

"What?" Rachel's eyes widened and her mouth fell open. She forgot to keep her voice low and froze as Quinn stirred against her, murmuring something into Rachel's chest before settling again.

"I'm serious, Rachel. We are going to talk about this as soon as your father gets home," LeRoy stood, pulling his cell phone from his trouser pocket. "Until then, I'm going to see if I can get hold of everyone's parents and then see what Figgins has to say for himself about all this."

Rachel could only watch him stride away, phone to his ear. Her heart sinking at the thought of leaving her girls, of not going to school every day and seeing them, of not getting to go to Regionals with the Glee club… of letting Finn and the Cheerios think they had beaten them…

A thought appeared in the diva's mind as her eyes landed on Santana again. The Latina had told them of the deal Finn had offered her and how she would rather die than take it. An icy sliver of fear stabbed through Rachel as the look of pure determination and unadulterated love she had seen on Santana's face that day was suddenly replaced by the battered and bloody face she had found when she'd walked into that bathroom earlier.

Finn wasn't getting the hint, or giving up. So it was about time Rachel finally did what she should have done months ago. This was her battle to fight, her problem to solve, her moronic ex-boyfriend to deal with. And deal with him she would…

* * *

**AN: Sorry it's not as long as all my other chapters but I hope you liked it. It's leading up to something, I promise. I have a plan so just trust me.**

**Let me know what you thought - try to limit the hate or negativity please, I don't mind if you didn't like it, I ain't for everyone so that's fine. Just not in a real good place right now. Already had to cut most of my family out of my life for their bullshit and negativity so be gentle.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note: So... apologies for being gone for so long and leaving this hanging, believe me, it was not my intention! Also sorry it's so short, I just wanted to finally get this typed up and posted as I've had it handwritten and stuffed in the back of my phone case since before I even posted my last chapter and my case no longer closed so needed to thin it out!**

**But also, with all the bad shit going on in the world: the pandemic, the ignorance and hate, with the loss of Naya (which absolutely broke my heart!) and the anxiety and downward spiral of everyone's mental health... I wanted to keep on going with this story because that's what we all gotta do. We gotta keep on keepin' on and we gotta be looking out for each other. **

**A lot has been stopping me writing these last months, not least my mental health and the fact that I have very little sensation in most of my fingers and when I do it fucking hurts, and I've basically just been trying to get through each day. I just wanted to say thank you to every single one of you who has reviewed and read this, and my other work. You're all incredible. And I appreciate you so much.**

**I hope everyone is staying safe, looking after themselves and wearing a damn mask in public (if asthmatic, autistic, anxiety-riddled me can wear one, so can you). **

**Much love,**

**Maxx**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.**

* * *

**Content Warning: This chapter contains talk/mention of injuries, mental health issues and blood. Please look after yourselves.**

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**Chapter Nineteen**

**Saturday Afternoon**

"Finn, honey, was someone at the door?" Carole appeared in the kitchen, laundry basket in hand. She skidded to a halt when her eyes landed on her son and the tiny diva in an embrace.

Rachel shot away from Finn, a deep blush colouring her face. Finn only scowled at his mother once the dazed expression had slid off his face. In those few seconds Carole managed to arrange her features into something other than abject horror and worry at seeing her son with his hands on Rachel.

"Mom! You're kinda interrupting a big moment!"

"Don't be rude to your mother, please, Finn," The diva snapped as she straightened her clothing and turned to Carole with a slightly too-bright smile plastered on her face. "Hello again, Mrs. Hudson-Hummel. I'm sorry for disturbing you, Finn and I just had something to discuss-"

"Yeah, mom, we're back together again, isn't that awesome?" Finn moved beside Rachel and wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulder tightly, pulling her into his side and making the diva stumble.

Carole's eyes darted between them before settling on Rachel. "That's… that's wonderful, honey. Uh Rachel, sweetheart? Do your fathers know you're here?"

Rachel glanced up at Finn. "I haven't had a chance to speak to them yet. I wanted to, um," She cleared her throat. "Seal the deal with Finn before we made anything official with anyone."

Finn beamed. "So can Rach stay for dinner? Since she's my girlfriend again, and all."

"I think Rachel should be heading home to tell her fathers the-the wonderful news, don't you think?" Carole tucked the laundry basket under her arm and headed into the laundry room backwards, unwilling to take her eyes off them. "And anyway, these are your dirty boxers, young man. I'm your mother, not your laundry elf so come on!"

Finn grumbled under his breath, scowling. "Can you not talk about my underwear in front of my girlfriend please?" He hissed as he strode passed Carole and took the basket from her.

The slight stiffening of Rachel's spine and the flicker in her smile did not go unnoticed as Carole moved to the table and started clearing it for dinner. Rachel turned and set about helping.

"So… what brought about this… reunion then?" Carole asked, watching the diva out of the corner of her eye.

Rachel had been expecting the question and was, of course, prepared for it. "Finn and I are just meant to be. I tried to fight it but some things are just… right."

"I-I guess. But you're both still very young, don't be settling before you even know what is out in the world, Rachel." Carole smiled warmly, laying a hand on Rachel's own to still her for a moment.

Rachel nodded thoughtfully. "Is this about the unpleasantness between Finn and I these last few weeks? Because Finn explained it was all a misunderstanding," the diva squeezed Carole's hand before moving to set the table.

Carole still did not buy it. Something did not sit right with her – there was a queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. All the things Santana had told them last weekend ricocheted around her head even faster than they had been doing for the last week. Clearly she wasn't getting anywhere so the woman switched tactics.

"So what does Santana think about this?" She watched the diva hesitate for a split second, her form going rigid and tension settling in her shoulders, before she rolled them quickly and continued gathering cutlery as if nothing had happened. "From the way she spoke it seemed to me that she really cares for you, and that you two were more than just friends-"

"No." Rachel spun on her heels to face Carole. Her voice curt, matter of fact – almost cold, making Carole shiver. "There is nothing between myself and Santana. Perhaps she wanted there to be and that's what you were picking up on. But no, Finn is the only person I want to be with."

Carole held Rachel's gaze for a long few second but the diva did not break. She was destined to be an award-winning Broadway actress and this was the most challenging role she knew she would ever have to play. Acting as if she loved Finn, as his girlfriend, as if his touch, his taste, his scent, his very breath did not make her skin crawl and her stomach turn would be a performance of a lifetime.

"Okay…" Carole finally conceded with a quiet sigh. "As long as you're sure, Rachel. I just want you, and Finn, to be happy and safe."

Rachel felt herself deflate now that she had made it through the interrogation, a sigh of relief slipping from her. "I appreciate that."

"You're a lovely girl, Rachel. You're so talented and bighearted. I don't want to see you hurt. I just…" Carole took a step towards the diva and cupped the girl's face gently, peering into her eyes to make sure Rachel heard her. "I don't want you to do something you're going to regret for the rest of your life. And I don't want to see you get hurt again. And... And I hope you know that I did not raise my son to treat anyone the way he treated you and Santana, and I will do my all to make sure it never happens again!"

Rachel swallowed back the lump in her throat. She willed her lip not to tremble, her eyes not to fill with tears but the motherly affection radiating off of Carole in that moment was too much. "I-I… Thank you for your concern but I promise you, this is what I want." Rachel managed a small, and thoroughly unconvincing, smile that did nothing to give comfort to either of them.

Before Carole could argue, Rachel's phone rang making them both jump. The diva gave an embarrassed laugh and pulled out her phone.

"It's my dad." She glanced up at Carole. "I should probably tell him the news in person."

Carole smiled kindly. "That's probably a good idea, sweetheart. But you're welcome here any time, okay?"

Rachel only nodded before turning and disappearing out of the house without so much as a goodbye to Finn. At the sound of the front door slamming, Finn re-emerged from the laundry room. His eyes scanned the room for Rachel but upon not finding her he turned to his mother accusingly.

"What did you say to her, mom?"

Carole's own gaze hardened and Finn felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

"If that sweet girl, or any girl in fact, is going to be in your life then you and I need to have a conversation before things go any further!" She caught the boy by the elbow and marched him towards his room.

"Mom! You wouldn't do this to Kurt!" Finn whined.

"I would and I have. You're just lucky Burt isn't home right now or we'd double-team you like we did to your unlucky stepbrother!"

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**Friday Evening**

Rachel's eyes flickered open. The stiffness in her neck told her she had been asleep for longer than she had intended to be. The day had drained her and the warmth of Quinn in her arms, the reassuring weight of the beautiful blonde against her body, the slow, steady breathing of her had lulled Rachel gently to sleep. Something felt wrong now though… Rachel blinked in the twilight of the living room. It took her sleep clouded mind a moment to realise that Quinn was no longer in her arms. She sat up, panic gripping at her chest until her eyes focused in on the two blondes curled up together on the couch – Brittany wrapped completely around Quinn, the dancer's chin resting on the top of the other girl's head.

Rachel's heart slowed. She stretched, grimacing at the knot in her neck. A cursory glance around the room told her that Santana was missing. She trudged through the house, peering in each room but coming up empty. She headed upstairs, ears straining to see if she could pinpoint the girl. Hoping against hope that Santana was still here and not… her throat threatened to close as awful thoughts bombarded her. She shook them from her head and moved with more purpose…

Santana sat, her arms wrapped so tightly around her knees, on Rachel's bathroom floor. Tears ran down her cheeks to soak into her jeans where she buried her face in her arms. Santana had long ago mastered the art of crying silently, hidden away so no one could see her splitting apart at the seams. She knew how to scream without making a sound, how to craft the perfect mask from the pieces of her heart and soul where they had shattered inside her… She even knew how to keep on breathing when she was drowning, suffocating, when her lungs and her throat hurt from strained gulps of rare oxygen.

Right now, it felt like the walls had closed in and were slowly crushing her. Everything hurt. Everything was dark. She had two paths to choose from – each as awful and gut-wrenching as the other. Give up Rachel and keep Brittany and Quinn safe or keep Rachel and risk all their safety…

How was she supposed to choose? She couldn't choose. Her nails dug into her forearms but the pain barely registered. She didn't even notice when her teeth broke the skin of her lip and her taste buds were flooded with the sharp tang of blood. This was on her. This was her cross to bear, her decision to make… The thought of hurting Rachel the way Finn wanted them to, the thought of sending the diva back into the boy's arms and having to watch him touch her, kiss her, treat her like trash all over again made her physically sick. It flooded her veins with hatred for the boy. He thought he was so god damn smart, so in control just because he'd used his popularity with the jocks and played on the insecurities and herd mentality of the Cheerios to get them on his side.

But the sight of Quinn being humiliated, degraded like that, the sight of Britney being hurt, her beautiful body being abused like that had broken something inside her that she didn't think could ever be fixed. Her family were everything. They understood her, accepted her, loved her when no one else did or could. When they were together she felt safe. She felt strong and in control. Her own blood family had taken and withheld so much from her over her short life that Santana constantly felt like she was playing catch up so she hung onto her girls so tightly. So afraid that they might disappear too… So afraid that they might realise how worthless and weak she was… that she couldn't look after them, couldn't protect them… what good was she if she couldn't even do that?

Santana felt the darkness surging behind her eyelids, the dark thoughts clawing at her mind, seeping poison into her soul as she felt her strength failing her. She didn't know what to do. Rachel was a part of them now. She couldn't care less that it had only been a few months since they had started getting to know the diva. She was in their hearts and lives now and it would leave such a gaping hole in them all if they lost her. So how was she supposed to choose? There was no way… just no way… Panic welled up her throat, blocking her airways and crushing her lungs so hard she felt like she was physically being crushed until…

Santana felt arms wrap around her, a warm, gentle body holding her close as lips pressed to her hair. Rachel murmured soft things to her and held the Latina as if she were trying to stick her pieces back together again. Santana froze. Here was another choice to make – one she had faced numerous times before: let someone in or shut down. Trust or lash out. The words "I'm fine" and "fuck off" were on the tip of her tongue. Fear was slithering through her body, her instinct to protect herself with sharp, cruel words and by running fast and far was almost overwhelming…

"I'm not going anywhere, okay? I've got you, Santana. You're safe, I promise."

No. She had come too fucking far, fought too fucking hard to let herself slip back into that old habit again. Images of her girls flashed behind her eyes – laughter, kisses, falling asleep together, secrets, singing, so much love…

Rachel let out a shaky breath when Santana suddenly unfolded herself and wrapped herself around the diva, pressing her face firmly into Rachel's chest and finally – finally – letting out a choked sob as she allowed her dams to burst, her walls to crumble and be washed away. Rachel only hugged her harder willing her girlfriend to feel her love and take some of her strength for once.

There was only so much a person could take and Santana had reached her limit. Rachel's entire being ached, hurt for Santana. The Latina had been protecting them for a long time. She had been their rock, their strength, but now she needed to rest and recover. All three of them did. It was up to Rachel to protect them now.

"I'm going to make this right. I promise I won't let him get away with this."

Santana gripped Rachel, digging her fingers in so desperately Rachel could almost feel the girl's pain through her skin. Her eyes flashed as she set her jaw.

"No one hurts my family."

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**AN: I know it's short, but I've been outta the game for a while and I had to type this up using dictation software cos my hands kill when I use them too much/for too long. So forgive any errors/typos!**

**Hopefully now I've finally gotten this out of the way I can get working on the next chapter, so wish me luck! Also, I do have another story (Pezberry) handwritten that I may try and get typed when I can (the supernatural-type AU I may have mentioned) so let me know if you're interested in that too!**


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